₦airaland Forum

But do these fathers change?

Never! They just get wickeder and wickeder as they do all these to force the girl to bend to their evil will and submit to their incestfull penis.

May their deaths be perpetually painful and cursed.

MOHCAM is a nongovernmental organization where we strive to educate people and raise awareness against all sort of abuses geared towards women and girls.

Most children in our community (Cameroon) are not looked upon as human beings capable of expressing their wishes and feelings. In Cameroon children are often spoken to as “do as you are told”.

Incest is a criminal act and must be punishable.

If is not father, its mother, aunty or uncle, it’s a nephew or cousin.

Incest is so rampant but no one talks about it. Our girls/boys are losing their virginity and abused

.Some have had children out of this evil relationships and are frustrated in most communities.

Martha had come to the end of herself and felt that she should share her story with me, maybe I would know what to do.
Martha is a young girl of 16 whose father has been longing to have sex with her since she was 12. She has lived in fear and has not been able to share her story with any one.

As she told me her story I could see how desperate she was.
Her looks could tell how much she needed my help,

Tears were streaming down her face as she told me “I love my family and wouldn’t want my mother to be hurt and have problems with father. But father would stop bothering me. He wants to have sex with me or stops sending me to school”. She said something that touched my heart profoundly.

There was such a sadness in her voice, I could tell she was speaking from the depth of her being. It was the cry of her heart, her frustration, her inner war of values; she wanted to be free. She is not the only one going through such trials and tribulations. There are many young girls out there like Martha and they are in a dilemma.

Martha asked me, “What should I do? What can I do?
How can I survive and keep my family?
She doesn’t want to stop going to school,
Neither would she want to have sex with her father,
Or even tell mother or the police.
She loves her father and wants him to change.
She is confuse and needs your help too.

Family rape is an issue commonly happening in our homes. This typically includes sexual activity between people in a consanguineous relationship (blood relations), and sometimes those related by affinity, such as members of the same household, step relatives, those related by adoption or marriage, or members of the same clan or lineage.

Incest is sexual intercourse or other sexual acts such as handling, molestation, exhibitionism and sexual abuse, either physical or emotional, when it occurs between family members.

It can affect both males and females and more than one member of the family can be abused.It is not, and should not be confused with, the normal physical affectionate contact which is essential in a loving family relationship.

We live with very close family relations who abuse our children daily and go unpunished.

Most often the victims are beaten or killed if they would dare complain.They live under fear and are stigmatized through out their life’s.

They keep silent and at some level engage as something normal because of its cultural pervasiveness

Another one from Quora
My dad wants me to sleep with him, else he won't pay my fees. What should I do?

https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&opi=89978449&url=https://www.quora.com/My-dad-wants-me-to-sleep-with-him-else-he-wont-pay-my-fees-What-should-I-do&ved=2ahUKEwiqttiwkrOJAxVOTaQEHV-yMyEQFnoECBgQAQ&usg=AOvVaw1gJQ3qnz86HwA2nIRhtfHo

Antichrist coming. Time for democracy to die

vdestro:
Yes, I am happy to see this is coming out.

And I am sooo thankful I didn't give in to my father for see how she's crying as it got even worse as I suspected and felt. She has confirmed it for me.

Any girl who is going through this that has not yet submitted, please and please do not EVER, you would regret it forever for your suffering and torture would get worse o!

And you would never be able to forgive yourself for destroying your life and for not hanging on to God to get you out.

Ha, praise be to God and greatly is He to be praised!!!

Thank God you did not give in o. It definitely gets much more worse. See how she is still crying and complaining.

And even though she says she forgave him and she tried to act like she has forgiven him, clearly she has not and she is unable to.

This thing is very very wicked

Zonefree:
She left with little dignity means her husband was maltreating her.

Maybe her father and family observed the man is not suitable for her the reason they returned the bride price, but, she was in love, she couldn't see that because a person in love is a foolish person.

It's best you listen to your family and friends when you're in love cos they see things you can't see.

Understandably the man was very very angry with the way he was treated only for the father to make it worse by going to his family to insult them to their face.

Coming from a man who joined her to slave the father and his family?

Not many men will be loving after this insult to him and the father did not just stop there, the evil man took it to his family. Haba.

Zonefree:
After staying with your husband for 12 solid years, you still blame your father for your failed marriage?

Your father that you didn't talk to for that 12 years?.
Your father that disowned you before the 12 years marriage?

She fit even die before the man sef.

Did you not see that it is the father who got her marriage destroyed and all the evil he did?

May everything the father did be done unto you. Amen

vdestro:
Flowing from the issues i have with my family, a bit of which I revealed in my thread
https://www.nairaland.com/8149679/which-better#130882465, i have finally being able to see and appreciate that my predicament stems from the fact thati since I was born my father has been raping me. What you people water down and call sexual abuse and molestation but these are still rapes, just different types and forms of rape, but rape all the same.

So my father sexually abused me physically as a child but God must have answered him as he suddenly stopped as i grew which I now figured that it is because he saw that I would soon know what he has been doing since. So he stopped to make me think that he did not nothing.

But my body tells me already and my spirit has already marked it and so i know that he did even though i was surprised to see that i was still a virgin when i married. but i feel his violations.

And since he stopped the physical abuse nonetheless, the old spiritual attack continued unabatedly. And since i never wanted it, wondering for years how a father could want to sleep with his daughter, i did everything i could do deny it.

Often denying that it was not true and that something must be wrong with me and rather ascribed his acts to something that else.

Even clinging on to my mum more thinking that it would stop. ButI no, it did not.

The bad thing is that even though he did not do anything physically but you know when a man wants you. That is always how it felt with him and also with his sons, my supposed brothers.

And because of them i knew what the word sexy means and hated it. And so i did not mind the old Elizabeth clothes my mom gave me.

It still did not work and the man still kept giving me signals but ah, how can I sleep with my father?

And obviously because of my refusal, i suffered horribly. He allowed my mom do all her wickedness. She even went as far as setting up my brothers to rape me but God always spoilt it. Something would just happen to spoil their evil plan and i did not know but i knew that something bad had just happened, leaving me always wondering what was going on.

And because I refused, he treated me exactly as a slave, i had no rights in that house, only torture and torment and of course deprivation. And all these made me feel like I was not a human being. and they treated me as a robot bound to be serving them if I do not want to die.

See another case
https://www.lindaikejisblog.com/2024/10/nigerian-lady-publicly-addresses-estranged-father-who-disowned-her-but-now-wants-them-to-meet-after-getting-sick-and-bedridden.html

"Father, you were not only an Enabler to the maltreatment I endured in my stepmom’s hands, your own wickedness on me was worse."

Now we know what this means!

Do you think she has forgiven him?

I managed to remain in my already shaky marriage and even decided to have one more child cos maybe that will unit us again but even the arrival of my last princess (Kasimma) could not bring back peace and love to my marriage. After suffering in silence for two more years, coupled with the drastic and ugly changes in the character of the man I once married, I decided to leave EVERYTHING I had ever worked for behind. And I picked up myself and my 3 Daughters and left my marriage with the little dignity I had left in me. I was only 31 years old, afraid to face the Future and I was hopeless at the time I took this bold step.

Father, you were not only an Enabler to the maltreatment I endured in my stepmom’s hands, your own wickedness on me was worse. And I swore several times that in my next life I will not cross paths with you even as a mere passerby because I won’t want to throw greetings at you. You hated me for no reason even though all I ever showed you was respect and submission as your daughter.

Two weeks after I left my marriage, I sent you a THANK YOU TEXT. Thanking you for your role and contribution towards the destruction of my once sweet marriage. You never responded to it. Only your Mother stood by me and you hated her for speaking the truth against you… That’s why I Love Grandma

I later prayed God to help me heal my tender heart and to give me the grace to forgive you and everyone who had stabbed me with unkindness and wickedness. God answered my prayer and gave me the closure i desperately needed and helped me to be able to forgive everyone and moved on with the broken pieces of my life… I moved on ALONE WITH MY 3 Daughters who were just 7, 5 and 3 years olds.\

I got the closure I desperately needed from God. I got the healing I needed from God. I got the courage to face life again from God. God has been my only true source of strength till date I owe God so much.

Thank You Father, for without your hatred I wouldn’t have stumbled on my inner strength. So I FORGIVE YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART. However, I am not your child Sir, you disowned me in 2012 when I chose to stand by my husband (Ex) and fight for my marriage because he never deserved the disrespect you meted at him and you had no right to shut him up from expressing his displeasure. Unfortunately, we finally Divorced and I’m in a better place today with my peace of mind intact.

To show that I forgave you a long time ago, when you celebrated your 70th birthday in 2022, I asked for your account details from one of your children and I sent you a big sum of money and a text message but you never acknowledged it or responded to my message even though you bragged about my gift but you never told me a “Thank you”. I did not regret being kind to you once more despite all you put me through but I made up my mind NEVER TO LOOK AT YOUR DIRECTION ANYMORE.

Thank you Father, but I won’t call you. I hear you are terribly sick and bedridden but I won’t visit you or call you. Keep whatever you want say, I don’t want to hear it. I wish you well Father. God be with you Sir.

I will stop here for now because I’m already writing a Book about my life to tell my Story. But I pray you see this before it’s too late.

NB:

Let none of you piss me off with unsolicited advice on this post. If you try it, i will send you to my Block Industry straight. Be Warned.

#AweleChukwukaumemma

Awele wrote;



Dear Father, I was told this evening that you want me to call you but I told the Messenger to tell you that I won’t call you because I don’t want to have anything to do with you and I don’t care to know what you want to say to me on your sick bed. I forgave you long ago. I sincerely forgave you and everyone who contributed to all the torture and heartbreaks I had experienced in my life.



It’s been 12years since you did your worse against me for no reason at all just because you hate to see me happy. 12 years ago, you returned my Brideprice unprovoked. My Ex husband and I never wronged you in any way. Our only crime was that we were not as rich as your other children and in-laws and so you practically turned my husband (Ex) into your slaveee and for just the one time he refused to run an errand for you because he felt disrespected by the way and manner your message was delivered to him…



You my father had told my younger sister (step) to call my Husband (Ex) and tell him to go and organize the water that will be used for cooking in her traditional marriage.I could remember vividly how he took that message on that fateful day. I was bathing my then 4months old Baby ChukwuMemofuma when my Ex stormed the bathroom stammering in anger that he has never been disrespected in this manner. I begged him to calm down and to put the



blame on me because such insult won’t come if he wasn’t married to me, I also begged him to allow me speak to my so called step sister who delivered such disrespectful message to him without regarding my feelings or consequencesof her action (how will she regard me when I was nothing but a mere slave to her Mom my stepmother while growing up) I begged him to put all the blame on me cos his marrying me didn’t affect how they disrespected or disregarded me even though I am the firstborn child of the family.



I later called my stepsister to tell her that she was wrong to disrespect my husband that way and that she ought to have called me instead and I would have gladly assisted her with the errand. She argued seriously with me but later agreed to apologize to my Ex for peace sake. An apology I appreciated but little did I know that after my Ex left me while bathing our baby, and he called You my father to express his displeasure for sending him such an errand through your young(est) daughter, someone who is the 4th child while me his Ex wife is the 1st child of the family.



You my Father apologized to my husband (Ex) for your disrespect and that made him calm. But little did we know that you had prepared the worse for us because that same day you took money to my in-laws house and flunged the envelope of money at my Father inlaw and told him that his son my husband (Ex) is no longer your inlaw and that if your daughter (me) wants to remain in that marriage that I stand disowned.



On hearing this ugly incident my heart broke a million times I went to my village to report to your brothers who followed me to my laws place but the only condition my angry in-laws gave them was for them to tell you to come back and pick up the money you threw on the floor of the old man’s house. But till date you failed to do it and called their bluff. I stood by my husband (Ex) and was determined to make our marriage work, but no matter how much I tried, sand sand don already enter my Garri and my husband (Ex) and inlaw isolated me for the disgrace and shame they claimed I brought on them through my father’s conduct.

Sapasenator:
Go sleep abeg.

Deny this evidence. Now this man is about to die and he can feel the heat of hell, he is now looking for the daughter he was wicked to

https://www.lindaikejisblog.com/2024/10/nigerian-lady-publicly-addresses-estranged-father-who-disowned-her-but-now-wants-them-to-meet-after-getting-sick-and-bedridden.html

When you see the word "emotional abuse" i now and know that means sexua abuse. As in the father wanted to have sex with her as he thinks he it is his right, as typical of those people from the that region, but she refused, so now he got very angry and he became very very hostile to her.

I think it is time to stop using all this is oyibo cover up words.

In a heartfelt and detailed post, she recounted years of emotional and familial turmoil, accusing her father of disowning her and forcing an end to her marriage due to what she describes as disdain for her happiness and modest lifestyle.

The Facebook user, Awele Ideal, alleged that her father rejected her marriage to a man who he believed didn’t meet the family’s wealth standards, going as far as returning her bride price and disowning her. She recalls how the incident led to tension and eventual divorce, despite her attempts to hold her marriage together. Her story also touches on years of mistreatment from her stepmother and alleged emotional abuse from her father, which left a lasting impact on her family life.