₦airaland Forum

Does it matter? I cook eba, he eats eba. I cook beans, he eats beans too. Rice nko, e follow. Unless I buy meat for market, come dash am the bones.

Hear the following confessions from some Nigerian women:
Anuli confessed that, once during sex, she had abruptly left her boyfriend high and dry just to catch up on Behind Closed Doors, one of the soaps airing on Telemundo.

For Victoria. Once she applied relaxer to her bread in place of butter and almost swallowed the poisonous combination but for the horrible tast she felt.

Rita forgot to pick up her kid from school. She was jolted back to reality when her daughter's teacher called and she rushed there very late because she was fixated on the new soap Elena's Ghost.

Chisom has burnt so many pots in her kitchen; forgot to eat her food so many times and also skipped taking her bath till 7pm when Aurora and Precious Rose stole her heart.

Sophia has skipped sleep many times because she had to stay awake to watch all the episodes she missed while at work. My heart beats for Lola remains her all time favorite. Her favorite actor is Fabian Rios.

Kelechi Ibe is tired of correcting his wife because of her mistakes whenever she is glued to Telemundo. ''Every time I come home from work, my wife wont allow me to listen to News. The only things I hear are strange names and funny songs. My wife will also be so happy narrating the story to me but I just don't catch up''.

And so on and so forth....................Now I ask you Nairalander Women; what are the crazy things you've done as a result of TELEMUNDO.

culled from Saturday Sun

HOW TRUE: Is there a magnetizing effect down there? Is it possible not to LOOK! YES/NO

All men's brains are hardwired to be distracted by cleavage, I'm talking about the usually revealed part of the upper area in between the tits, boobs, breasts or what I call bosoms because they knock you down. A female friend of mine once told me that she could easily guess if a man is homosexual simply by observing how little he is affected by cleavage. And yes[b], women just see it on your face and in your eyes no matter how much you try to keep your cool. Actually the effort that you make not to stare, which also causes you to distract, is easily detectable by women.
[/b]
She told me that cleavage is so important and so powerful that a little cleavage flashing can influence men into doing things that they wouldn't do if they hadn't been subjected to the cleavage effect. The more sexual frustration in the society, the more power cleavage will have. Women use cleavage not only to impress and control men but also to flex their power amongst other women.

So cleavage is simply a tool of power, influence and control that women use on men [/b]who by nature are designed to be instinctively attracted to feminine features. And as women are nowadays becoming more masculine in their behavior, men are bound by their genetic software to search for and appreciate those remaning feminine attributes.

I asked her: ''Since you purposely expose your cleavage on a daily basis, how do you feel when men voluntarily or invorantarily look or stare at your cleavege?'' She replied: [b]''It depends; if he's handsome, I feel flattered, but if he's not, I usually feel offended.''

Culled from www.http://gettinglaidisimpossible..com/2012/03/the-hypnotizing-power-of-cleavage.html

''DEFFINATION''................ No Wonder it didn't make front page

Wisdytech: Family_Men There_is_God_oooooooooo





Wife: Darling, give me your phone for a
second.

Husband: Wait, let me switch it on. Delete
video.

Delete picture. Delete music. Delete private
folder

Delete number. Delete sms. Delete out
going calls.

Delete incoming calls. Delete mms. Delete
whatsapp.

Delete bbm. Delete Delete Delete Delete
Delete Delete

FORMAT Memory Card. Husband: Here you
go honey,
i have nothing to hide from you.

Wife: I just want to check the time.

Husband: Oh my God!

Like you are not one

When you go online and find yourself in one of the so called social network sites, Have you ever observed profile messages on ladies status? Messages like: Thank you Jesus, Thank God, I have a godly heritage, Jesus is Lord, etc Beware of these ones because they are the ones who would want you to think they are godly and would therefore make good house wives.

Yes, i'm a proof

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I have a phone I bought last 3 years, Nokia to be precise. Recently its behaving kind of weird. For instance the call button doesn't work and sometimes it does. When people call they tell me they hear it ringing, but my phone doesn't , hell it doesn't even show missed calls. Someone told me he called me eight good times and that it rang all through!!! In summary most of the times the keypads don't respond to my commands. Should I throw it away and give it a befitting burial or....................anyone know why this is so?

vizkiz: Thanks....i'll do just that. But i am not feeling alive now

guy you dey alive, or shey na ya ghost dey type dis message?

vizkiz: are you saying it was my fault she left?

Yes it is. By the way have you had time to ask her why she left? Believe me, you'd like to know so you don't fall victim again.

vizkiz: You talk like marriage is something anybody can rush into

There was something you did joor!!! she cant just run off with someone else. talk true jare

[quote author=vizkiz]What should i do bro...believe me,i have been calling her a hUndred times



so am i at fault for showing "romantic love" to the girl i wish to marry?



I noticed changes in her for some time now...i dnt know the guy really...but i dnt think that has anythiNg to do with why she suddenly became cold hearted
quote]

Remember the saying /:#NOSMOKEWITHOUTFIRE

[quote author=@farano]Una no go hear. Reserve your romantic love for your wife alone.. Don't cry ur eyes out of their sockets o [/quote]I like that.

vizkiz: she's going out with someone else...

This person she is going out with, do you know him? Is he better looking? Is he rich? What makes him different from you? and lastly how did she break the news to you?

Kio67: i dnt do dat rex so u tel me since its pehaps wat u do

So if someone beside you sneeze, you just stare at the person? Are you from the Sambia forest?

Kio67: dats a similar thing i wana know...or u know?

You are very funny. Answer this question; why do people say ''bless you'' when they sneeze?

Kio67: Hi nairalanders.I'v been going to the market to buy things if need be.I couldn't ask them why cause am scared there my see me being against their believe.So please I want to know..Why do most igbo men touch their chest after exchanging a handshake? To me i think there are taking people star cause sometimes i reject the handshake.Please no insults or use of vulgar words.Share what you think cause i see it being disrespectful hanging their hand

Why do players do the same gesture when they enter the field?

vizkiz: i cnt still believe this is happening...i love her so much but she broke my heart...we have been together for four years and she threw it away like its nothing.

I have been crying my heart out since yesternight...my cloth is soacked with tears cuz i cnt stop crying.

i need to take this like a man but its hard to move on...please guys help me out. I need help!

What happened to cause her to break up with you, in details please.

hmm

I like your type. Open and blunt

ax2xb: Not to bore you all with long talk ;

Met her in late-2011 and we broke up late-2012. We made up around Feb 2013 and I got boxed up quite well. Bought a car for myself; and bought one for her around Sept 2013 . .

But her attitude is pissing me off. I always try to live on a budget; and she doesn't. She's the big-spender type of grl and I have always told her it's good to save for the rainy days. All na wash!!! She nor dey gree hear.

What pisses me is that this lady is actually 29. How can a 29-year old not know how to manage finances?

We had a quarrel last three weeks and she drove home, and ever since has not called me or even pinged or sent a message.
She's actually waiting for me to say I'm sorry (for a crime i didn't commit; she's wrong not me). Ive done that before, always saying sorry and pampering her even when I am right. But no more!! I refuse to do so again. Right now, she uploads pics of her jugs on Facebook and BBM;
What the heck is she doing? Trying to find another man? I have totally lost it.

How can you not even call me? To know even if Im alive or dead after 3weeks . . instead you're busy changing DPs on BBM
Well, I've decided to move on, but i can forfeit all i've spent and invested . . But I no fit leave the car? I only gave her the copies.
The originals are in my name, so I want it back. I can actually leave it for her, but i don't want anyone pointing at me to her friends,
calling me the greatest mugu of all time . . .

What do you think?

Meeen! Am laughing hard here! Literally speaking. Collect am back joor

[quote author=sкчscrαρεr™]1. I don't hate you: If someone reply you this way, just know that the person does not love you.

2. ...Me too: This line is usually said on phone to a partner. It is believed that people who reply with 'Me too' are mainly players, the response normally comes when they're with another partner. Hence, they can't reply with the usual 'I LOVE YOU TOO' or 'I LOVE YOU RIGHT BACK'[/quote]What if its written? If they reply by writing "I love you too" or "me too",I don't agree with you that they might be hiding smth or are players

Preboy: I thought females only watch Barbie series

I happened to watch Barbie by chance and I really enjoyed it. Had some laughs atleast.

[quote author=danniyal]voltron
Terrahawks
a bug's life
rango[/quote

Terrahawks? hmm.....how did I miss that one on my list? Zelda and Co.

Where are uniport students? Dem no exist for nairaland?

peter4d2: Hv u luked up oda threads dat tlked abt cartoons n c d once dat pple viewed n tlked abt with much enthusiasm if I say almost I would b mistaken all d cartoons tlked abt there r manga n d real cartoon fans knw wat I mean by 'manga'

And what really is manga? Lecture me.

Martini101: It is not a small thing oh. i served in Ikono LGA and Ikot ekpene being our Zone, i have witnessed alot of accident. There was this incident that happened when i was driving, one of the okada men tried to over take me from the right wit a view to pass through a tight corner , i dodged him but he fond himself under my car. if i wasnt an experienced driver i would have ran him over. welcome to Akwa Ibom cos my guess is dat u re a corp member.

Nah i'm not. I served 2006 in Ogun state. I got a job offer here in akwa ibom and so had to relocate from Lagos. And the worse thing is, as you mentioned in your own incident, if something had happened to the bike rider, you will notice that other bike riders would gather round and accuse you of being at fault, all of them speaking their languages. They don't like foreigners. Most of them don't.

I have been wanting to put a thread on this issue ever since I came into this town last year but it keeps slipping my mind. Just today on my way from work I witnessed an okada accident involving the passengers a woman and her two little children. Here in Ikot Ekpene, these guys drive like maniacs! I really would like the state government to do something about this as I find it alarming when I see a mother backing her child and at the same time still carries another child on an okada, and the streets here are mostly major roads.

Why not try and get your facts right before posting?

Just when I plan going there tomorrow. Mtchew

Una just dey blab. The OP highlighted some similar attributes between the two but how many movies have you seen on Sango? How many comics have u read on Sango? Sango never evolved apart from the same person we knew back then? Nothing new, no follow ups! For me I will take Thor because I have read and seen enough to show he is more important than Sango.