₦airaland Forum

wirinet:
You cannot decree parties, just as you cannot decree the number of companies or associations in a country. We keep chasing after shadows while avoiding the substance. Parties would drastically reduce to less than 5 if the following steps are taken;

1. Stop government funds to parties. Is is not abnormal for government to fund privately created parties?
2. Organized free and fair election. No body would waste his money forming parties if he cannot have a reasonable chance of winning an election.

@wirinet thank you so much. Money is one of the strongest motivators of forming political parties in this country. If we remove the reprieve the government has been giving them we will see the real number of parties that genuinely want to be of service to this country. I totally agree with you.

otukpo:
There has been a debate at many levels on the type of party system Nigeria should adopt in order to achieve a better democracy in the country.

The House of Representatives have rejected the 2-party system likewise some top politicians with the arguement that it negates the law of freedom of association. This arguement i see as selfish on the part of the politicians because Nigeria has been practising this multi-party system and it has not yielded any good result other than producing one stong party and numerous weak ones. It is also a way the politicians get their own portion of the national cake as they recieve allocations from the federal govt.


Nigeria is not yet mature for this present multi- party system and it has continued to make a caricature of our democracy.

We just need one other strong party, a party that can compete intensely with PDP. If not, PDP will continue to rule this country and continue to swallow up some other weaker ones until we have a one party system which is dangerous for this nation.

The politicians have said their own, but what do the youth of this country think?

Your contributions will go a long way in enlightening some of us.

In my opinion, a 2-party system which can produce 2 strong political parties is what Nigeria needs at this time. 2 parties that can compete favourable with each other, or a multi party with a maximum of 3 or 4 political parties should be adpoted.

@poster, like Lar said in his defense of PDP when it came into power it had the purest of intents. I personally do not support a two party system for all the reasons that have been given as its benefit. Did we not have a two party system during the Babangida regime? Did it work for us then? Was there less corruption, nepotism. and godfatherism?

Even the world super powers, Britain, USA and France do not practice two party systems and these are Nigerian Political role models!! It will not be realistic to say of course that corruption and its sisters and brothers will cease to be in existence just because there are multi-party system or two party system but it will be realistic to aim for a situation where it is in the minimum.

However, with a two party system monopolising Nigeria will be an easy thing. Currently, we have the 'inner caucus' borrowing the words of Lar who determine the fate of Nigeria to the extent of determining who should rule or not. Their excuse, a section of the country complained that it has not been allowed to rule the country since inception so to be seen to be fair the Northern zoned the country to the south in the person of our very much acclaimed OBJ. Now it is an issue of should the North not be allowed to complete their tenure or not? In what civilized society to find these happening?Where the presidency of a country is determined by a group of 'fat, sweaty, pot bellied, bad breathing quarter to go' men?

For the first time in the history of these great country we have a president that is young agile, healthy looking , presentable, well spoken by the standard of the past presidents and very good looking if I may add, and was the VP and by right should be the president and someone some where is busy trying to ZONE the country away from the people's choice!!!

Do you see what will happen in a two party system where the same group of men(because of course it will be the same group of fat men who will form these parties) sit together in the name of rubbing minds to move these country forward and come up with a candidate they have 'zoned' out for us to go through the process of voting. A charade in the name of voting!!! They may even come up with a better I idea of rotating the presidency between them!!!

Agreed we are not yet matured politically for some of the things we want to delve into but we are getting matured as we go along. As we are not matured enough to handle the multi-party system so are we not matured enough to handle the two party system!!

You are a liar!! Stop spreading tales about poeple you dnt know. Tomi Okoye is a nice little girl on facebook. I just checked her out.

queeneve:
Many people who are married, dating, or engaged may face the BIGGEST DECISION of their life and that RELOCATING!
You meet this wonderful person and get married, do you stay in your hometown or do you relocate to your spouse or mate hometown? What are the steps in making relocating easy as possible? What if the job won't allow you to relocate until six months down the line. Can you seperate from your partner that long?

Do you think women should relocate or men should relocate?

Be honest!

@poster, are by chance in such a situation? I heard the story of a lady whose family advised not to leave her job and move to where her husband stays for the single reason that she earns more than he does. So am wondering are you her? Cos if you are then;
1. Are you crazy?
2. your family and friends might tell you it's not right for you to leave your job and relocate because you earn more than he does but in a couple of years when they are all in their homes with kids and all they will talk and laugh behind you.
3. who married who?
4. what is more important to you in life? A happy home or a career?

Well if am to present an answer without trying as I may not to generalize, I will say Nigerian women are forgetting where we come from. If we stop emulating white women who will rather go through life childless and alone just to make a name and build a career.

This whole thread is unnecessary and shouldn't even be discussed!!!!

If a woman decides to build a career and can manage her home and that fine!! Am all for that but to then turn round and act the she-male please that one I will kick against. We do have a place even by creation.

ravenzord:
Ok, now that you have modified your post and I see where you're coming from, let's discuss:

I take it you're referring to the Christian God, as revealed to you by your Bible. What then happens to all the billions of people who are not Christians, the same rules don't apply to them, right?



How come the married couples who have "discovered themselves" still end up getting divorced, sometimes destroying their children's lives in the process?


Does the fact that you don't agree with some theories of science mean all theories of science are wrong? How then do you explain your being on the web?


The truth is, before you get married to anybody, you should make sure that you're compatible in all aspects of your life that you consider important, not only intimacy. If you're perfect fits sexually and your characters or your life goals don't meld, then obviously the relationship is not going anywhere, just like a perpetually Hot man shouldn't get married to a frigid chick, no matter how well their characters seem to fit. If, however, you feel that se.x is not really important to your having a wonderful marriage, and the God that brought you guys together will help you meet each other's sexual needs, good for you, don't test your sexual compatibility, most times what we believe ends up working for us.

As for me and my house. . .you know how we roll .

Thank you @ravenzord!! It is good to hear someone tell it as it is.

@poster, am a woman like you and honestly, I cannot see my self marrying a man who does not know how to get down! Yes, the Bible does request that abstinence should be practiced but we both know that just like the Bible says 'the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak'. When you talk about divorce rates I honestly think you should get your facts straight, SEX is a major reason why lots of marriages collapse!! Money can be ignored because it will always be gotten but SEX my darling cannot be bought in a marriage or worked for. You either sabi wetin dey or you no sabi!!

I have dated enough men ohhh!! The main problem NIgerian men have is that they believe all they need to do is bang away and the fun is done. Some try in a very pathetic way to lap, my lesbian girlfriend does so well, and I end up wondering what in the name of *** are they doing!!!? You will find them sweating and panting from pumping so hard that you cannot help but wonder if they think this is a marathon they are running.

That doesn't mean I have not had a few good men!!! AM currently steady with a guy who does wonders in bed!! we are talking of marriage.

All said and done @poster, will you marry a man who has a penis size of 3.5inch? Or that ejaculates before the act starts? Or comes as soon as he enters you? Ohh, am sorry, I forgot you are not seeking for sexual compatibility!! My apologies!!! But tell me, how will you feel when you are married and your friends all talk about how good they felt when their man did so and so to them and you are wondering WTF are you talking about?

I CANNOT!!!

Believe me no matter how Christian you are, one day, you will meet someone who will set your body on fire and there ends the story!!! It's such like you that fall prey to pastors and brothers in the church. Shorey oh!!!

If you love someone you cant cheat on them. NO matter how tempting it is you will never want to do that. If you are using marriage as an excuse then you need to consider a whole lot of issues. One lots of men do not marry for love they marry for companion and sometimes because the woman in question has something to offer in the marriage. Sometimes also because she's a package deal. A good display object. Someone to show off to friends and tell them they are not in tune with the world.

If the above reasons are why you marry someone then yes cheating on them will not bother you!!!

Love isn't something you take for granted. So please do not try to justify cheating with such lame excuses,

otuism:
i narrated my story on this forum on how my ex-gal left me for another guy,now this is the situation,her good friend called me somedays back telling me how my ex has been unhappy with her choice just because the guy is smallist in stature,in fact she finds it difficult walking with the guy

It sure is sad that you have enough time on your hands to listen to her friend who am sure is preparing the way for herself by making you feel you lost nothing!! Are you sure this her friend did not have a hand in your break up?!!! Ask am ohhh!! You never can tell when it's us women!!!

You should move on with your life or better still call her up and let her know you are doing fine without her!!! And stay the HELL AWAY FROM HER FRIENDS!!!!

Abi you no fit find another gal? Nairaland is full of them ohhh!!!!

tishat:
i will answer for ma hussy, he married me knowing am HIV+ while he is Negative.
Now tell me which love is greater than this??

@tishat, treasure your man!! There's no other man out there. You just got the last of them!!! Me, I will not give my money or my life for any man unless he has put the ring and is singing wedding songs oh!! Played an april fool trick on my Boyfrd some yrs ago and u wont believe the out come. Told him I had HIV and my guy went red (if it's possible for a black man to go red on the face). Later when I told him it was a joke he said well thank God cos he was thinking of a gentle way to break up with me!!!!

Like you said, there is no love greater than what he has done for you!!! WHERE D MEN @?!!!!!!

If we all have to tell what crazy stuff we v done for men, believe me Nairaland will go gaga!!! In every relationship you do something peculiarly crazy for that relationship. Which will you call the craziest? In one you came close to dying in an abortion cos you were scared for him and at the end he tells you, you are not up to standard cos you do not have the desired degree. Then another time, you travel miles risking accidents on the road not once, twice or even thrice just to celebrate his fucking birthday and he leaves u with I saw someone younger and less interested in how I end up.

Now this scenario is even more crazy to me, girl lies to family to con money out of them to save her boyfriend's life only for him to end up married to another girl cos she's a lawyer.

I personally know a girl who aborted 4times for her guy who accuses her of infidelity just to save his name and job.

I believe crazy describes everything a woman does in her relationship. From the moment she says I love to the very last day the relationship ends and if not in her favour she goes crazy and wild.

Which is my craziest deed? Everything I do is crazy cos no man deserves them!!!

Yield:
This sound like something out of a Naija movie.

And I'm not even sure what your best friend's reasoning is, aside the fact that you're the only other available girl to him at this point. You've never had feelings for you and neither has he, and he can't now claim to have had feelings for you all this while, because it's obviously not true. If he really had feelings for you before, why was he planning to marry another girl? And because that plan didn't go through, he came running to you. Just because he got rejected by his fiance doesn't mean he now has to propose to you. And don't even reason or listen to anyone saying that because he's your best friend, you two'll get along and'll be great for each other. , Uhm, No. And you already said the marriage'll be based on "respect," not love, so me thinks you already have your answer right there. And so what, you're in your 30s? It's not the end of the world. He needs to move on and find someone else. I would much rather wait and find the right person for me than be someone's Plan B.

But it's all up to you. You know the situation better than I or anyone else here.

@Yield, @bennygee, @Ted Bundy, and all you guys thank you so much for your advice. As for my current BF I already made up my mind to send him packing. maybe some day I gist you guys all about that affair. As for my best friend, am seeing him on Friday and really like @tachi said there has always been that attraction. We just never acted on it.

I ll keep you guys posted and @Yield my life is a Naija movie presentation really

My best friend (male) and I have know each other for close to 15yrs. We went to secondary school together and infact sat on the same sit. We got to be very close and people naturally assumed we had something going. After school we all went our separate ways but still kept in touch. His a intelligent nice, kind and good natured person. And very God fearing. He started dating a girl from another tribe some years ago and three yrs back said he wants to settle down with her.

Initially his family kicked against it along side the lady's family. Gradually his family came around but her family refused. For 3yrs they have been trying to get her parents to accept and bless the union. Some days ago, he told me they decided not to go through with the marriage as her family wont give their blessings. He said he is moving to plan B. Naturally i asked him what plan B is? You wont believe he said, ME! I have always liked him and even imagined myself in love with him at one time. Sometimes I still think I am.

See, the issue is. i told him his still hurting from that rejection and is looking for a rebound girl. He deny's it even though we both know it's true. I have been in a similar relationship for close to 14yrs. Only in my case the guy wants to take his sweet time. I want to say yes but I do not want to be the girl who came second. I know he does not feel much for me other than respect. I also feel not much for him other than respect but am 31yrs old this year and so is he. I want a home. And my guy says this year but I know him well enough to know he wont do anything cos I asked him.

T on the other hand is ready and wants it done in march. My questions are:

1. Do I say yes and risk a marriage based on respect not love?
2. Do I ignore his request and keep my on and off guy giving this yr as the final mark?

Naturally I already know what I should do but I want to know what you guys and babes out there would advice.