₦airaland Forum

I met this girl (a final yr student) while I was still serving in Cross river state last year. We were so into ourselves despite our different tribe, in fact she loved me more cos I was a bit laid back then and she always crave for my attention, she could even borrow airtime just to hear my voice everyday, infact she even spoke to few of the guys crushing on her to help secure a job for me, she was my partner in good deeds and crime like Bonny and Clyde(we didn't steal oo, just expressing how close we were), my better half. Before coming back to Lagos, I ensured that I get this relationship thing right even if it means sharing the little money that i have into two, i even offered to help her with her project atleast instead of staying at home bit she declined, all these and more i did cos I've had bad relationship experiences which I wanna pin the blame on myself. As at early this year, everything went sour, I realised she doesn't crave for my attention anymore, we even quarrel about almost anything and the fear and respect she had for me has died down. Though I know that she wants to focus on her studies and project and it's really taking a lot of her time but I wasn't complaining and I expected that she should ask me how far with my job search and how I was coping since I'm not working yet and away from my home cos I was with my cousin brother, she rarely asks else I bring up the issue, we rarely saw back then, she just forget to do the little things that a normal gf would do. I called her over to iron out our issues one fateful day after numerous ironning outs, then I asked her why the attitude and if she doesn't care about us and why is she's think about only herself? the answer I got was "Bleep it, I can't kill myself for a relationship and even if it's marriage that she doesn't care" I was shocked and angry, she later apologised that she had to defend herself and I was talking plenty then i realise she has been taking me for granted, she was just laughing while defending herself. I came back to Lagos for an interview(I didn't get the job sha) and tried my best not to get attached to her too much cos she hardly calls or even chat me up on whatsapp. One day she chatted me up and was acting emotional and saying she knows she's hasn't been living up to her duties as a gf and that it's cos of school and I should give her time to finish up with school stuff so that during holiday it will be just be me and her, I just told her I'm not complaining and ended it with a cold reply cos shes can't always be misbehaving and thinks I'll just agree to her pleas everytime. Till now I've not seen any change, no hello on whatsapp, even if I put a girl's pic as my dp she won't even get jealous (she has never put my pic as her dp aside from my birthday last year june) yet she said she isn't seeing any other guy and that she loves me more than I think but she doesnt show any atom of care or concern.
I know I'm supposed to be focused on getting something doing with my life instead of thinking of one girl but my emotions are involved here and I think it's cos I don't have a job yet that is making me pay attention to her annoying attitude. Though I'm working on myself to acquire new skills by tutoring myself on some stuffs online but I'm still emotionally traumatised. I just need a job so that i can forget about her totally and start a career for myself. Maybe she has written me off which is why I won't give up on myself. The only pay back is success.

I had to create another account so that i can express myself freely. Please, i need an advice on what to do, we haven't broken up yet. Bashing is allowed to help reset my brain.