₦airaland Forum

MrCork:
kaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii.....seee nyansh??................sweeeeery i tink I love u!!

Lol Mr.Cork but am not lightskinned na.

obyno1011:
What I will advise you is to let your emotions detach from this case. He's probably a burden. Since his family can't assist him, you will bear a great burden doing so. He needs to change and won't do that if you keep having that feeling or pity on him.
Let him know your heart is out and if he wants help he can contact the so called people he has met. He also can't speak down on people he knows because he will do same on you.
Advise him to seek help from his maker and prove to his family and people that he's changed.
Don't hurt yourself more. Be just a friend and keep emotions out.

Cheers

Thank you so much, he feels praising himself in front of people will make them like him who does that.

There should all resign already bunch of incompetent fools.
Buhari should give Nigerian Youths a chance and sack the greedy Ministers.

Omonigeriarere:
You need me, honestly.

Need you how I don't understand

byvan03:
OP I will like you to read this, a buddy posted it on NL and you might benefit from it.

See below:


A lot of people are attached to the idea of being “nice.” It’s not so easy for these individuals to let go of their need to be nice, or to appreciate how different it is from being kind.

This distinction is important, however, because these two ways of being lead to very different outcomes in one’s personal and professional life.

It will be easier to understand the difference between “nice” and “kind” if we focus on the opposing motivations behind each way of being.

The nice person is externally motivated. He’s driven by the need for other people’s approval and validation; he craves acceptance and is fearful of rejection.

The kind person is internally motivated. She has good self-esteem and isn’t looking for approval. She’s less concerned about what others might think of her and more interested in doing the right thing. Her compassion comes from an overflowing of her positive self-regard and not from the need to please.

The kind person respects herself as much as she respects others. She’s naturally helpful and generous, except when doing so might cause her harm. She lives in a state of balance, being as kind to herself as she is to others. She makes a positive contribution to her family, company and community, but never at her own expense.

The nice person is out of balance in his quest for external validation. Thinking that this is how he’ll find what he wants, he puts the needs of others ahead of his own needs. He keeps trying to please until he becomes exhausted and aggravated.

The nice person avoids confrontation for fear of upsetting anyone. He has trouble saying “No,” and rarely asks directly for what he wants. Fearing rejection, he can’t express any angry feelings that arise.

The kind person, on the other hand, isn’t afraid of confrontation. She’s able to speak her mind clearly, directly and respectfully, so people know where she stands but aren’t likely to take offense.

If someone gets angry at her because she’s asserted herself or rejects her because she’s setting a limit, she doesn’t take it personally.

The nice person can’t be authentic, because he’s too preoccupied with being a pleaser. The longer he continues to be “nice,” however, the more alienated he becomes from himself and others. He can lose touch with his true needs, feelings and opinions, and his relationships lack intimacy or fulfillment.

Even if he does win some degree of approval, the nice person knows, deep down, that the other person doesn’t see or accept him for who he really is. He can never make a real connection.

The kind person is genuine and sincere. She doesn’t need to pretend to be anyone else. If someone dislikes her or disapproves of her, she doesn’t feel diminished in any way.

The kind person welcomes constructive criticism. Her good self-regard motivates her to constantly be learning and evolving. Her ability to accept feedback means that her performance at work is always improving, and that she’s able to grow as a friend and a spouse.

The nice person is uncomfortable with feedback. His low self-esteem makes external criticism feel particularly hurtful. He has a harder time taking in valuable information about how he might improve his performance at work or how he could be a better spouse or friend.

The kind person sets good limits with others, and because she doesn’t allow herself to be mistreated, she’s cheerful, easy-going and approachable. She trusts herself to take care of herself in her personal and professional relationships, so she feels at ease with other people and her heart is open.

The nice person can’t set good limits. In his attempt to gain approval and avoid rejection, he allows people to exploit and mistreat him. This makes him angry, bitter, and cynical toward others.

The nice person’s attempts to please often result in his feeling hurt. His mistrust toward others grows, as does his shame for putting up with disrespect. His heart becomes closed, so while his behaviour is outwardly “nice,” he actually feels disappointed and resentful.

The truth is that people admire the kind person and look down on the nice person. We look up to those who have confidence and good self-esteem and tend to dismiss as “weak,” or “needy,” those who appear to be trying too hard to please.

When things don’t go the way he’d hoped, the nice person doesn’t know what to do with his growing anger. He might stuff down his resentment with alcohol, drugs or food, or it could leak out as passive-aggressive behaviour. Sometimes he’ll have an angry outburst, which embarrasses him so much that he represses his anger even more.

So, while the kind person can be relaxed and loving, authentic and meaningfully connected to others, the nice person is often anxious, angry, alienated and isolated; possibly even suffering from an addiction.

The solution for the nice person is simple: he must stop looking outside himself for love and approval.

Once he takes responsibility for his own self-worth, he’ll start working on developing his own positive self-regard. When he begins to love and accept himself, he’ll be able to let go of needing to please, and he’ll notice that interestingly, others are responding to him better.

A positive spiral is created, whereby he’s in charge of his self-worth, he’s treated with more respect, his anger diminishes, his feelings of trust and connection with others increase and his self-esteem improves even more.

Eventually, without even thinking about it, he’ll shift from being nice to being kind.



https://www./why-you-need-stop-being-nice-start-kind-marcia-sirota

Thank you for this, ever educative. I don't do things to please people I help because I genuinely want to and am always happy about it. If I were to be rich tomorrow I will be more involved in humanitarian activies and Ngos, for now I involve myself in humanitarian activities whenever am less busy and i derive so much joy from it. So I dont know if I am kind or nice, I think I am just been me unique.

For my relationship whats your advice?

May is a special month for me because it's the Month I was born.
I noticed that almost all the famous people known worldwide were born in the Month of May, there is definitely something special about the Month.

If you were born this month count yourself special because only special and great people are born in the Month of May.

So what's your birthday date, mine is May 27th.

Here are my list.

Genevieve Nnaji May 3rd

Emmanuel Emenike May 10th

Joel Obi May 22nd

Kelvin Etuhu May 30th

Christian Obodo May 11th

Dr SID May 1st

Sunday Adelaja May 28th

• Rotimi Amaechi May 27th

• Ernest Shonekan May 9th

• Sir Shina Peters May 30th

• Eldee May 23rd

• Governor Rauf Aregbesola May 25
• Salawa Abeni May 5th

• Chidinma Ekile May 2nd

• Malcolm X May 19th

• Cher May 20th

• Busta Rhymes May 20th

• Late Notorious B.I.G May 21st

• Daniel Bryan Wrestler May 22nd

• Naomi Campbell May 22nd

• Donnell Jones R &B singer May 22nd

• MaxWell R&B Singer May 23rd

• Queen Victoria May 24th

• Patti Labelle May 24th

• Heavy D May 24th

• Scott Disick May 26th

• Lenny Kravitz May 26th

• Lauren Hill May 26th

• Jahiem R&B singer May 26th

• Lisa Lopes Rapper May 27th

• Christopher Lee May 27th

• Andre 3000 Rapper May 27th

• Jadakiss Rapper May 27th

• Shiloh Jolie Pitt Daughter of Brad and Angelina Pitt
.
• Patoranking May 27th

• Kylie Minogue May 28

• John F Kennedy May 29

• Melanie B Singer Former member of the Spice girls
May 29

• Latoya Jackson May 29

• Ceelo Green May 30th

• Clint Eastwood May 31st

• Colin Farrell Actor May 31st

Kiss Daniel May 1st

Ray Parker Jr. May 1st

Dwayne Johnson AKA the Rock May 2nd

Donatella Versace May 2nd

Catherine the Great May 2nd

James Brown May 3rd

Cecs Fabregas May 4th

Kimora Lee Simmons May 4th

Chris Brown May 5th

Adele May 5th

Craig David May 5th

Karl Marx May 5th

Meek Mill May 6th

George Clooney May 6th

Tony Blair former British Prime Minister.

Sigmund Freud May 6th

Enrique Iglesias May 8

Harry Truman May 8

Bono May 10

Blac Chyna May 11

Mark Zukerberg Facebook Founder May 14th

Cate Blanchett May 14th

Megan Fox May 16th

Janet Jackson May 16th

Karruche Tran May 17

Enya May 17


These are not all but just selected ones.

Cicil Hammond that guy helped Tiwa's Carrer Sha, if Tbills had accused Tiwa of having sex with Cecil I wouldn't have doubted it.

Naughtysite:
Who dey for that ur picture ?
He is definitely a USER. Stop spending on him.

That's my picture why

obyno1011:
Lady, a man should not make u hate every man. Each has his problems
What attracted you to him? Is he working or doing business? Living with his mum at what age?
Sometimes we get blinded by love. I really don't like men who depend on a lady especially the unmarried. Stop giving and watch his reaction.
If there's no potential in him, let him go.

He told me he is working but I doubt him, he is looking for money to also start business. He is not from a poor home but I think his family has decided not to help him because of the bad things he has done in the past.

And another thing I noticed about him is that he brags a lot about his family connection and people he has met in life, I have told him on countless occasions that he has inferiority complex and that he needs to work on it.

He is always talking shit abt people he knows and yet his life seems to be in shambles, I am trying to make him a better person but he is not ready to work on himself.

missyge:
u gaan get ur own fr bdy

How I don't understand?

Tabh:
Broke ass niccur, 2k,3k in naira? Why stoop so low to date such guy? Ayanma Point of correction, there are generous naija men.

I didn't know he was so broke its not written on the forehead is it?

Tabh:
Broke ass niccur, 2k,3k in naira? Why stoop so low to date such guy? Ayanma Point of correction, there are generous naija men.

I didn't know he was so broke its not written on the forehead is it?

Europija:
.....ya ur right..well.not all.but most.of them from what i saw n heard...I really dont think this my guy wil ever see me worthy...But what i know n i am sure of is that very few women wil.be with guy that is broke as such n giving him everything in d same time...someone as me.he wil.hardly.find...most girls go after money..But he is now in Germany...German women r rich n luv blacks so they wil.not mind staying wih someone that is broke

Wow his case is pathetic, he should better get a job for himself or else he is going to end up useless in life.
It's not about German women been rich trust me someday they are going to throw his stuffs out on the street and if he ever makes it back to Nigeria he is going to be a nuisance to the Society.

Stupedinluv:
Honey there are better and bigger reasons to be tired of Nigerian men/black men in general.

I can understand what you passing through. Many guys out there are coded golddiggers. The moment they notice you earning, they start looking for a way to leech you dry. Thats why i dont let any of them know am earning, those parasites that is. And i try to keep a very low profile too. I advice you to do same if you wish.

Dating a guy who is not workingwould most times lead to heart breaks and disappointments.

Yes u are right he knows I am working and I don't have anybody I am taking care of or supporting.
I don't just know he always has this innocent look and way of begging.

captianfreeman:
Your boyfriend is a miner , he is just mining your gold.

Lol na real miner o!

Europija:
....Yes is ok...no.worries..Anyway is also.my fault coz I allowed him.to treat me that way...Ur case with that ur guy is not so that teriable as my case...But when money is included then hmmm...u have alot to think..n yea igbos r most of them selfish...all they think is themselfs n money is very very importhant to them. Btw i dont think this my guy wil ever regret his actions or he wil see that i was angel to him.... coz al he sees is money n documents.if person canot give him that then the person is worthless..Even him.himself told me that he didnt come.to Europe for love but for papers

Don't worry he will come back to beg you for forgiveness or second chance, trust me most men know a good woman when they see one. They always want to come back after they have realized their mistakes.

I don't think all igbo men are selfish, haven't really dated Igbos anyway. I just think they are too money conscious I heard they take Care of their women well.

Europija:
......I understand how u feel...I am.girl frok Europe been with igbo guy for 5 years...what he did was use me for money n to be there for him when he was broke n when noone been there for him!I cook clean n wash for him i travel.to another country just for him to see him...24 hours i wil be inside bus just to go to see him...he wil.not even show up on time to come.to pick me..He beat me n throw me.out of house in midle.of night coz i didnt bring him amount of money that i said i wil.bring...he wil humiliate me n insult me.make.me.feel as i am.d most teriable girl in world...he almost destroyed my self esteem...I gave my.life to that guy...My energy .my everything...i was always stressing myself.how.to help.his life to the point i forgot about my own life...and he was using my.love for him to get help from.me...and after all my effort for him n after that i forgave him everything.he was the one to dump.me.coz he couldnt gain no documents from.me for staying forever in Europe...What i wil.tel u is...leave that guy i beg u...he is beggining u to come back.coz he needs u as in using u...when he comes on feet again he wil not even remember u...Pls u wil.feel.better without him.trust me

Thank you so much I guess you are just like me I put in so much energy when it comes to relationships and family.
Sorry to hear about your experience and I believe your ex will have so much regrets because of the way he treated you and thank God you didn't allow him get his papers through you, most of them already have girlfriends back home in Nigeria.

naijaboiy:
[color=#1980BC]Okay...if he has not spent anything on you then I'll understand and in my opinion that's very bad of him. No matter how broke a man is he should be able to cater for some basic needs of his woman. I don't think that's too much to do.

So from indications it seems he's taking advantage of your kindness, I feel you should let him know that you won't condone it anymore and that the door is not far from you to walk out.

Nevertheless please desist from generalizing things like this. I'm a young man and I know I don't and can't totally depend on my woman financially in any relationship.[/color]

i am not even asking him to assist me I just hate the fact that he is selfcenteted.

ClitRaider:
Sorry, maybe you should just ditch men, love yourself and fvck yourself.

Huh are you ok what do u mean by I should fvck myself? it's not about sex ok and if you must know I haven't had sex with him yet.

naijaboiy:
[color=#1980BC]This one is just plain silly!

So because one man is using your head and taking advantage of your kindness you are generalizing it on every man in Nigeria.

Secondly, how are we sure you are the only one who is spending on him. You mean since the both of you started dating he has not done anything for you financially?

Why I'm askin is because sometimes you women tend to be quite greedy and stingy when it comes to your money in a relationship or marriage. When a guy spends on you and gives you money you see it as nothing but when you are the one who manages to help him a little you expect that he pays you back.

I am not going to support you fully because I don't believe that your man is just in that relationship and has not spent a dime on you.

What is 2k that you are complaining of upandan like this? [/color]

Don't get it twisted the reason why I posted this here is because I have been through this before, it's not about the money but it's the fact that he doesn't even care.

And yes I am proud to say he has never spent a dime on me and nothing stops him from doing that even if I sont ask him for anything.

missyge:
I understnd how u feel...
Does ut mean he lives with his mum? If a guy isnt treating u d way he suld, simple bkos wateva may be his reason,
I think u suld dump his silly ass.. Some1 better would come knocking @ ur door...

Yes he does though he explained his situation to me.

missyge:
I understnd how u feel...

Does ut mean he lives with his mum?
If a guy isnt treating u d way he suld, simple bkos wateva may be his reason,

I think u suld dump his silly ass..
Some1 better would come knocking @ ur door...

Thank you, there are so many guys I can choose from asking me out but I feel sorry for him becuase of what he has been through.

Adebola02:
Call off the relationship politely. And don't put yourself all over him in the name of love, He's taking an advantage of that.

I have tried to call it off several times and he will now come begging and I feel sorry and sad when I see someone begging me.

donbenedict:
good, so u suit up and stop complaining and always being the one at d receiving end....



The truth abt urself is that u can't afford being single and lonely and that is why men will continue to prey on ur fears.

Truth is I dont have any fears I have stayed off relationship for more than a year now and now decided to give this guy a try only for him to mess everything up.

donbenedict:
If u tired, u commit suicide. Or u become a lesbian

No way am I gonna do that, not for any man.

..........

Malcolm X May 19th
Cher May 20th
Busta Rhymes May 20th
Late Notorious B.I.G May 21st
Daniel Bryan Wrestler May 22nd
Naomi Campbell May 22nd
Donnell Jones R &B singer May 22nd
MaxWell R&B Singer May 23rd
Queen Victoria May 24th
Patti Labelle May 24th
Heavy D May 24th
Scott Disick May 26th
Lenny Kravitz May 26th
Lauren Hill May 26th
Jahiem R&B singer May 26th
Lisa Lopes Rapper May 27th
Christopher Lee May 27th
Andre 3000 Rapper May 27th
Jadakiss Rapper May 27th
Shiloh Jolie Pitt Daughter of Brad and Angelina Pitt.
Patoranking May 27th
Kylie Minogue May 28
John F Kennedy May 29
Melanie B Singer Former member of the Spice girls May 29
Latoya Jackson May 29
Ceelo Green May 30th
Clint Eastwood May 31st
Colin Farrell Actor May 31st

I didn't put up all famous May people the list is too much, just selected few.

Kiss Daniel May 1st

Ray Parker Jr. May 1st

Dwayne Johnson AKA the Rock May 2nd

Donatella Versace May 2nd

Catherine the Great May 2nd

James Brown May 3rd

Cecs Fabregas May 4th

Kimora Lee Simmons May 4th

Chris Brown May 5th

Adele May 5th

Craig David May 5th

Karl Marx May 5th

Meek Mill May 6th

George Clooney May 6th

Tony Blair former British Prime Minister.

Sigmund Freud May 6th

Enrique Iglesias May 8

Harry Truman May 8

Bono May 10

Blac Chyna May 11

Mark Zukerberg Facebook Founder May 14th

Cate Blanchett May 14th

Megan Fox May 16th

Janet Jackson May 16th

Karruche Tran May 17

Enya May 17

Patoranking born 27th of May and Rotimi Amaechi former Governor of Rivers State born 27th of May too.
I was born 27th of May, hope to meet Pato someday.

OgbeifunErom:
Sam how did you arrive at this conclusion? Is it from Gowon estate ipaja?

You leave your village to come struggle for another man land and you call them cheats lolzz

Time is going for you. No job, no visa and u dey carry Yoruba matter for head smh

Your moniker says u ain't Yoruba so what u aiming at?

@Op you are very wrong I think igbo celebrities are worse when it comes to divorce.

Names

Eucaria Anunobi is a divorcee with one son.
Grace Ama is a babymama without a husband.
Oge Okoye is a divorcee
Ngozi Ezeonu is a divorcee that left her husband becuase he cheated on her.
Chika Ike is a well known Divorcee.
Ngozi Nwosu is no longer with her husband.
Kenneth okonkwo was a divorcee before he remarried.

The names too plenty abeg.

She just ordinary nothing fantastic about her look, is it me or does she look like Tonto Dike in the last picture.