Thanks to everyone who helped me during the time. It's getting better now. Infact it got worse during the Christmas period but I'm grateful to God that with family intervention and medical treatment it's starting to get better.

At least now I can have my quiet time to read and study. And also he no longer has to resume late at his place of work simply because he wants to drop me off at school(when I can easily take a taxi)

So I thank you all for your support it really helped me.

chrisbaba1:


If he is obsessive, tell him what you hate and dont care if he gets sad. I just read about a comment u posted above about him threatning to kill himself, now thats nonsensical of him. Did he grow not having a mum??

You should have read that part before commenting

Aminat508:
Africa magic Yoruba.
This OP is selfish and very wicked!

Seriously? I am selfish and Wicked? Everywhere i go, he wants to be there! He wanted to accompany me to a women convention(Women Only)! Amongst almost 200 Women very few men were there because its a thing for women not for couples. He threatened to Hang Himself.

So I am selfish because I dont want my husband turning me to his boss and he is my P.A? Sometimes he would hold my purse or handbag and sometimes people would begin to ask "Is he your husband or your driver?"

flokii:

I feel you're older or bigger than he is

We are of same age

optimusprime2:

I carefully read your whole writeup, hence my whole quote... Firstly (Pardon me for being Blunt) I think you are quite a Naive, selfish and shallow woman who is insensitive to a man as delicate natured as your husband- for a start, I believe you are a christian, go and read the book of Proverbs chapter 31 vs 10-31 it should give you insight of the role of a good wife.
Many women pray for the kind of man you have as a husband, and here you are complaining about what you have... A wife is a friend, a partner, a buddie et al, apparently you have'nt carved out that Niche for your husband, because you have already viewed and tagged him as a weakling.
Secondly You lack the caring instinct of a mother; if you did, you would have known how to adjust your husband to fit your specs, with Love. Cant you see he is as a child to you? I wonder how you would care for kids with special needs with an attitude of insensitivity like this...
Thirdly, you are inconsiderate; Because you know that's how he is and yet you choose to exploit his shortcomings/weaknesses, then complain in the end- You should be ashamed of yourself.
Fourthly, You are the solitary lady- basically you love doing your thingys alone. It's unfortunate you married a man who values company and companionship, now in marriage, the definition of you is "Selfish" because all you lookout for is "You" ... sorry girl thats the picture I see.
Fifth, Your perspective of marriage is so shallow... And I have a deep pity for you because you still think marriage is post courtship, an indirect reflection of your psychological immaturity (Geez I'm really sorry for the bluntness but I just cant help it)
Sixth, You are just not romantic period.... (A wife beater would have suited you just fine)
If you think people will come and sympathize with you here on Nairaland for your woes and complaints on this matter, you are wrong, very wrong .... Go and analyse your shortcomings woman and fix up your marriage.
Overall I feel bad for your husband- it's really not his fault. He married a girl not a woman. (Sorry girl just being blunt)

I had to respond to you. Perhaps you are missing the point here. I never said he is too loving or something. If i am to write all the silly things he does in the name of love you wont even be able to read it all. I just put a few.

Even neighbors around have noticed it. They have called me to order many times! His elder sister accused me of giving him a love portion. Its that bad! You call this love? Then I'm sorry i don't want such love anymore. The other day, i asked him to purchase something for me, he had no money, instead of him to talk to me about being short on funds, he went to take a loan to get it. Something that even I dont need so urgently(He is still owing his partner for it)

So sir, read again and understand! Dont be to hasty in talking or commenting. Call me a girl, Its no big deal. After all, this same Man threatened to stand in the middle of the road if i dont accompany him on his field trip. This type of a man can commit suicide if i dont give him what he wants at a given time.

I had to create a new account just to post this as it's quite sensitive. It's quite lengthy too but I'll be brief. I need mature and friendly advice from people here.

When I first met my husband, it was in a library. We talked briefly and we became close. I have had past relationships in my life so I was careful as possible. I realised that he had no past relationship. He was a typical virgin and was new and I was his first girlfriend. So I felt comfortable with him. He was so kind and loving so I agreed to marry him.

Now it has gotten worse. Everytime he does anything I want without asking questions. At first I enjoyed it but now I'm starting to worry about him as it's getting out of hand. He does not display any act of manliness in the house. He behaves like my puppet or my foot stool. The other day he was watching the soccer game and I just jokingly mentioned how boring it was and I would prefer the faith channel. He changed the channel to the faith channel just like that. Even at work he would be calling me and texting me I am even scared he would loose his job if his employer finds out.

I have no time for myself.. he is always around. Sometimes if I say no to his advances for sex he would act like I am a wicked woman who has cheated him or rubbed him of his right. He would give me the silent treatment for weeks until I give in. On Sunday he insisted on going with me to the salon and it's now embarrassing as every Sunday my mates in the salon would gossip about how my husband is the only man amongst women making their hairs because his wife is there. I try to talk to him but he would feel so sad like I have taken smething away. I don't understand.

If I'm studying at night, he would suddenly begin to romance me and strip me of my clothing without saying anything first when he can see I'm studying. If I rebuke him, he would be very sad. Every time he must have one intimate relation with me everyday and life does not work that way. I don't know if it's immaturity or he is sick mentally. The day I returned home 11pm due to huge traffic jam, I was expecting him to be furious like any other man.. he was with all smiles even offered me water and collected my bag and books. Christ.

I need sincere help. I told his family that I'll file a divorce if this continues as I cannot live like this. It's no longer love but idolatry. I thought it's wives that are submissive.. he is the one submissive. Anything I ask... he grants even silly things. Things that a real man would query before granting.

I am sure that if I ask him to bathe in acid he would do it. I'm sick and tired of this marriage. Just a year. The last quater he gave me his ATM to spend when I went for training in Abuja. When I was spending excessively he was quiet about it until I returned and found it he was broke that i wrecked him. I was wondering what happened to him. Why didn't he talk?

Please Nairalanders what is happening? I love him still and divorce would be my last resort. I need your advice and help on how to fix this because I don't know what to do anymore.

Thank you all.