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My Husband Has Idolised Me And Now I'm Fed Up. Need Help - Family (15) - Nairaland

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Re: My Husband Has Idolised Me And Now I'm Fed Up. Need Help by enstack: 11:54pm On Jan 23, 2016
Thanks to everyone who helped me during the time. It's getting better now. Infact it got worse during the Christmas period but I'm grateful to God that with family intervention and medical treatment it's starting to get better.

At least now I can have my quiet time to read and study. And also he no longer has to resume late at his place of work simply because he wants to drop me off at school(when I can easily take a taxi)

So I thank you all for your support it really helped me.

2 Likes

Re: My Husband Has Idolised Me And Now I'm Fed Up. Need Help by SURElee(f): 7:16am On Jan 28, 2016
Madam, let me give you an assignment.
1: find out from those your saloon colleagues, when last their husbands looked at them, cared for them doted over them. Ma, be grateful, because grateful people will have more things to be grateful for.
2: a husband gives you his atm card and you delibrately wreck him broke just to see how he reacts? That shows if that man puts in charge of bulk money for capital projects like building a personal house, that's the same way you'd spend part of the money to test him? Am a female, but I don't subscribe to issues like this from women to men.
3: you complained the man romacing you dailly blah, blah, blah. You better thank God o! How many kids do you have? I know a woman with 3kids who after her 3rd child, a boy, in 2008, the husband hasn't made love to her till today. Do u want to tell me that man hasn't been having sex outside? Of course he does.
Now I hope u'd have a change of heart. And be grateful for your little blessings that daily amount to huge blessings.
4: see, even those women in the saloon are jealous of you and the love you have from your husband, my dear, make I yarn u the truth.
5: your husband loves you, even though he's immature or insecure and doesn't put his foot down when you need him to. Don't delibrately take him for a fool. And pls don't rub poo in his face in the presence of visitors, kids etc.
6: communicate effectively to him let him know when you feel suffocated and you need your alone time. Effective communication is when the person you're talking to understands what u're saying.
7: value him, treasure him, mold your husband into what u want him to be to suite u o! If u continue like this you could turn a good man into a monster.

Thank you and stay blessed. God rules in the affairs of men.

1 Like

Re: My Husband Has Idolised Me And Now I'm Fed Up. Need Help by Lolia246(f): 10:43am On Apr 02, 2016
Well for me,i dont advice you to divorce him,because your husband really loves you,and he does not want to loose you..many ladies out there are praying for such husband.pls just sit him down and talk one on one with him.he will change
Re: My Husband Has Idolised Me And Now I'm Fed Up. Need Help by AuroraB(f): 6:55am On Jul 23, 2016
faith551:
If your husband demands for sex,it's his right, you don't have to deny him except with good reasons. No man will be happy about that.
If he behaves as you say he does, believe me, there is a 10% he will change, but I thought the ladies normally want such a guy?
Most of the reasons you mentioned above is why I won't opt to marry a Virgin on a normal day, dealing with inexperience could be frustrating.
Give him time, and talk about it.
Faith, I don catch you here cheesy. Did you say 'demand' 'right'
How so undecided angry lipsrsealed
Re: My Husband Has Idolised Me And Now I'm Fed Up. Need Help by faith551(m): 7:45am On Jul 23, 2016
AuroraB:
Faith, I don catch you here cheesy. Did you say 'demand' 'right'
How so undecided angry lipsrsealed

hehehehehe, I still haven't figured what I did wrong dear. come out plain na

1 Like

Re: My Husband Has Idolised Me And Now I'm Fed Up. Need Help by AuroraB(f): 8:42am On Jul 23, 2016
faith551:


hehehehehe, I still haven't figured what I did wrong dear. come out plain na
Albeit pulling ya yanks embarassed, why would he demand and not ask? Lolm. And which law made it the his right grin angry
Re: My Husband Has Idolised Me And Now I'm Fed Up. Need Help by faith551(m): 6:00pm On Jul 23, 2016
AuroraB:
Albeit pulling ya yanks embarassed, why would he demand and not ask? Lolm. And which law made it the his right grin angry

Ok ooo, sorry madam, you win. btw my statement doesn't define me, am a gentle man you know cool
Re: My Husband Has Idolised Me And Now I'm Fed Up. Need Help by AuroraB(f): 6:13pm On Jul 23, 2016
faith551:


Ok ooo, sorry madam, you win. btw my statement doesn't define me, am a gentle man you know cool
I see...you are smiley
Re: My Husband Has Idolised Me And Now I'm Fed Up. Need Help by faith551(m): 6:23pm On Jul 23, 2016
AuroraB:
I see...you are smiley

that beautiful, hope u're having a great day

1 Like

Re: My Husband Has Idolised Me And Now I'm Fed Up. Need Help by QueenSarafina(f): 7:10pm On Jul 23, 2016
I am not marid o;bt I av bin in a reel relationship and I can specifically say I av learnt a lot from dt guy.

Abeg I wldn say we shld xchange;cos I love mine bt still;i pray my guy embraces dt attitude.

Ordinary cos I gave him my life and all despites wen am hurt.he will feel it's not spiritual.

My advise don't talk him out ooo.orelse u wil change him. It's only dsame u dt he loves dt wil adjust him.cos it's obvious he will do anyfn for you.

So pls b grateful to God and pray to God to help u shape him more to your desire
Re: My Husband Has Idolised Me And Now I'm Fed Up. Need Help by drnoel: 1:58pm On Jul 24, 2016
Op, I feel your pain... I read your post from beginning to end and it can be scary for someone like you. You mentioned studying and training. seems you are furthering your education so I can imagine hw you would fee. But this is it. Also I like how you broke it in paragraphs so it won't look so long a messy. Nice. Many people would misunderstand the op.

Edit: The op is not saying her husband is too loving! Neither is she selfish or wicked. She is even a good person. From her writeup,if she says "Kill yourself" to her husband he would do it. It's not right so those silly comments below should be edited by the silly posters. The man is obsessed. It's dangerous for her very soon it would become obvious in public and you know the society would start accusing her of using metaphysical powers on him. So she wants to fix it now before it advances.

Back to the topic:

In your first/second paragraph you said it all. You were his first love. He was new to romance. And now you are married so he is carried away with it. He wants to make you happy that's all. And I can bet that he has been crushing on you before two of you met one on one. So for him To finally get you, he wants to keep you but he got it all wrong. It's normal in life.. something you have always desired finally comes your way of course you would protect it. So he is acting silly and idolizing you because he wants to keep you around.

I advice you talk to him. Sit him down and explain things to him let him know you love him for the man he is that he does not have to do silly things to please you. He knows it's nt right. I'm sure but he has no choice. So let him knw there is a choice. Give him the assurance you are his forever. That's all
Its just communication. And as for intimacy, he likes you, but you need to let him know that you value your study time and once in a while make the move too. Let him know you too can make the move not him alone so he does not have to do it always. And also there might be something about you that drives hm crazy which he does not want to depart from him.. ask him he will tell you. It could be your eyes, your accent, your voice, or even your fingers or your hair or skin or legs.. talk to him that's my point.

#TeamNoDivorce

Edit: Hmmmmm FTC

Mr Nobody, what a befitting name for someone with such ignorance. Ur post screams it. Read the post of the guy after u. Its women like the OP that make men like me wish to go back to being an asshole. See I am married too and I idolize my wife to infinity. She met me when I was an asshole and always begs me not to return to that craziness cos she still remembers what she had to go through, which by the way I am not proud of. She is my best friend but u will never see her act like the op just so she could bring to nothing my great respect for her.
Re: My Husband Has Idolised Me And Now I'm Fed Up. Need Help by abrahamakede555: 11:22am On Nov 16, 2016
I reason with you on the subject you have raised. And I believe you love him too. From my little experience I have discovered that for any home to thrive, both parties need to fully understand their roles and perform on them accordingly. The man should not perform the woman's role and likewise the woman to the man, because if this is not the case, there will be a problem on the long run, with them trying to Live together.

A Man's role is to Instruct, Direct and Oversee the affairs of the home, while the woman's role is to Understand, Suggest and Implement the directives of the man. This problem mostly starts with the world's mentality that a man must do everything the woman wants in order to keep her, even in marriage (since divouse is generally accepted now in our society). So men generally feel compelled to compromise in their role.

This compromise is first enjoyed by the women at the start, because women these days feel more attention be given to them more than the man. But after a while, when her mind is made up on the man she wants, she Starts feeling uncomfortable with all the care and attention.

The solution to this issue is between the two of you. For the woman, your priority (if you want to change the situation of things now) should be how to satisfy your husband's needs and make him see that he is the head. It means you will submit fully to him, ask about his activities and plans then know how and where he wants you to always come in. In order to complain, it is always best to be suggestive and helpful in your criticism of him. With that you are helping him and your marriage in ways that you can't imagine.

Lastly, I must point to you that anytime we seem to be going through tough times in marriage, we should not ever think of divouse as a way of escape because I tell you, its cost more pain than we think, to us, the family and so many other things that we represent.

Best Resgards

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Re: My Husband Has Idolised Me And Now I'm Fed Up. Need Help by ifynwa8(f): 10:05pm On Nov 16, 2016
Woman u should be thankful to God.
Do u know that some men don't communicate with their spouse(wife)?
Do u also know that some men don't initate sex?
Do u know some men(husbands)has never told their wives 'I love u' from their heart?
Do u also know that some husbands regrets been married their wives?
Do u also know that a wife will get pregnant by her hubby only for the hubby to frown at her?
Here u are having it all on a plater of gold if I were u,I will reciprocate such care and love to my hubby.
Re: My Husband Has Idolised Me And Now I'm Fed Up. Need Help by JerryTemi(f): 8:06am On Nov 17, 2016
Oh lord look at what this poster wrote about her husband,Lord Jesus please turn my man like this,I want these qualities because everlasting peace is what I see.my sister what is sex,what is romance,what is book,can't you drop for some time and do it with him,cuddle him to bed then you wake up and bath back to your reading things. Sex can never be the problem for where I dey,I believe he helps you in the kitchen,who be that woman that will say rubbish concerning my husband uhmmm oh devil will view such fellow. Do you think he is a fool to follow you to the saloon,chai Jesus biko give my love these qualities na,I will never get tired of him because he is my sunshine and as for his respect let heaven bear me witness with my life his respect is entact. my dear dont do this,love him back,give it to him,allow love to conquer all.

1 Like

Re: My Husband Has Idolised Me And Now I'm Fed Up. Need Help by NnaNna4(m): 8:28pm On Feb 07, 2017
You are not a Virgin that's why you fail to understand and absorb his awakening
Re: My Husband Has Idolised Me And Now I'm Fed Up. Need Help by folajoseph(m): 6:14pm On Mar 23, 2018
Hmmmmm


Since u want sincere mature advice. I ll oblige u.

You re a fool!

Your husband loves u so much that he dotes on u. All men would normally do that but men like me dated bitches so we transformed and became assholes.

If ur husband worships u. It is normal

It is left for u to take the obeisances in humility and reciprocate.

If u turn him into an asshole. Babe I promise u. You ve lost him forever.

P.S
I realise it is easy being an asshole than a gentleman

#TEAMASSHOLE

I'm with you on this bro! Proudly #TEAMASSHOLE ma ni**a we owe no one no apologies.

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