₦airaland Forum

too many response already, might get u confused.
Bt.... I think u shud give love stories a rest. If u intend to live wt this woman d rest of ur life, u will know this without any advice. Its not how much u luv her will determine that. It is if u hv choosen her to b ur wife, which of cos brings to bare many factors n love is one of them. If we men get to figure out all our wives hv slept wt, we will pick a permanent room in psychiatric hospital. N vice versa. What she has done is to show u her worth n make u d chaser in d relship, which u hv failed to do cos it shud be d other way around. I dont want to know if she did it or not. N frankly even if u do get married to her u will continue to b insecure. I will not blame her ,cos there must be a chaser to keep a marriage working. Its a theory of elders.
Bt seriously, pls always look beyond love. Love is good n swt bt dont build only on it. I am not talking abt money too.

mrtidier:
You are just mostly wrong. I know a hundred and one persons that would beat these myopic 'points'. If a lady swallows them hook, line and sinker, she'd be damned. In my school days, i used to go to one Abraham for tutoring. Clean, polished guy with a super computer brain. Graduated with first class, not only that, but also as the best graduating student in his faculty. He gave the runner up a clean pole. It was after his convocation that he showed everybody he was a top ranking frat man. Mind you, in frat systems, there are members delegated to disguise themselves, assume a neutral stand and stay above the fray for some reasons. There are a plethora of other folks who would beat these your points with ease. Broaden your view. Appearances are deceptive.

pls tell them.

lol, u guys r funny, for those that r not cultist in school, pls remain that way. Dont join d main cults that ur parents really belong to when out of school. That is cultism, d one they use to control d country. Cultism in school is a natural thing that mks boys busy, like test their capabilities, just like girls r busy testing how best to get a man interested in them. U all know d main cults.
Ehen, i am not one, just a libran.

agarawu23:
your point number 5 is void

na that time gangan she go drain you since the love is not there anymore

i no gree, if it started wt genuine love, she will not ask u for anything anymore, this is my experience. Bt if d relship was an investment of some sort, she will definitely milk u towards d end.

EMANY01:
There was this saying during the cold war cant remember it exactly now but the substance of it was that the operators ( read spies analysts and fighters) knew enough of the capabilities of each other (that is soviet vs the west) to know and warn their political masters that they(the other side) were worthy of their fear. If you don't understand, its like the reverse of saying that someone is worthy of your praise.

The lesson was that the Soviets knew intimate details of the Wests capabilities so much that they feared them and vice versa.It was one of the reasons the cold war did not go HOT.
The other lesson you can take from this is that knowing or thinking you know the capabilities of an intelligence agency such as the SSS/DSS does not me you shouldn't fear them.When they have political direction to be devastating they can be. IBB's and Abacha's days are not so far away that most of you would have forgotten unless most of you are what i have always suspected :teens or barely past your teens.

yes oga, i am not sure i was even a teen, i hv also stated their ability to take wht they want earlier. I am only trying to say, if d whole country is going corrupt, they shud not be among. For d fear, blive me they r no more as feared as they used to be. Frankly if a masquerade comes to d play ground too often, ppl will fear him less. Lets reason from that perspective. I know they saved 'or one person saved' stuborn IBB then, i know of d abacha thing, which even d personnels/operatives cant beat their chest n prove, so, dont go there. I fear them , i want to fear n trust them more to protect my country, bt we cant stand aside n continue to say everything is fine n dandy. Telling ourselves d truth is a step d right direction, there is something wrong there n it needs to b fixed. Tats d truth. We r dragging this issue sir, i take it u were older than a teen in d 80's . Try i compare that 80's n now. My colleague argued that the problem is they removed d secret from their name. Funny, bt its a school of thought. Oga abeg d gist done tire me sef. Catch u later sir.

pls , wht happened to 'yes sir'? If d situation doesnt change for him to know his wrong orders soon, naturally, then u'd better start thinking of leaving. Thats mine. 'Yes sir' secures d job far better than any body language suggesging a 'no' answer. U can succeed in saying 'no' bt remember there is appraisals. As much as we all hate d word eye service, it really works to keep ur job. Infact it was taught in school, only wt a different name. So... Yes sir, eye service, yes sir , eye service. Death hero , not my style.

i didnt get to read everything u wrote abt d 'come to my house' syndrome. True, there is an issue here bt i think u r not looking at it very well. Firstly, these men r all ur brothers, so rather than get angry, i think wht u shud hv done is address ur bros around u n tell them it not decent. Another thing i will point out is that, any guy wt no sex intention will woo a girl that very way u r accusing us of abandoning. Now let me ask , which percentage of d active male population ask girls on date most? Frankly its d married guys. Now where is d most convenient place for adultery? D house. For the othe percentage of unmarried men, i bet u, any man that invites u to his crib like that shud send danger signals to u. U just hv to know. Blive me when i say wooing a nigerian girl isnt easy, only d ones wt nice payroll can hv it easy. I am just saying that we or u shud look at d girl folks too, their actions have not encouraged most growing men. So d others hv sort of agreed that instead of some girl playing me 419 n making me spend on fancy dates , y dont we seal d deal at once. Sister, sisters , pls lets look d other way too, u hv corrupted d whole dating institution all cos u all knew things earlier than us. Anyway, thanks for d observation, i will discuss this wt others.

EMANY01:
Bros people hear far more about the CIA and other American intelligence agencies than you will ever hear about the DSS but despite all the movies, books and news articles written about them most of which is true you still have no clue what they can do and what they do,Same applies here and in every democratic country in the world.
The only intelligence organizations that were/are blacked out to the population are those of non democratic territories .
Case in point the KGB was feared all over the Soviet block and then more ,the citizens of the soviet block did not know the first thing about the KGB or even the GRU (military intelligence) except that you feared them and did your darn best to never have to come to their notice.
The interesting thing was/is that outside of the iron curtain, any well informed citizen knew /can know the top players at least by name and by face from newspaper articles and the likes (something that never happened in the iron curtain)that doesn't mean those intelligence agencies had failed.

i agree wt u, abt d popularity of these agencies world over n d fact that d citizens they protect dont know wht they do bt only fear them. Now d question is, r u still afraid of our dss? R u going to deny u dont know more than half of wht they do? With facts. More so cos u get in touch wt them more often than b4, n we hv family n friends in there that cant wait to prove their worth by telling u wht they do. This wasnt there b4. I know a man who was a corper for many yrs in his place of residence bt was a top ranking officer. Can any of this new breeds keep such cover? I doubt it. I want to say that i still trust their abilities to protect us, bt wht i hv seen in recent times mks me blive that they r investing their potentials wrongly. We all live wt them n we see them n most of their activities is no more for d interest of d state bt for personal benefits. Of cos a nigerians issue. Cia, kgb, mossat, BOSS, MI6, fbi,name them, as much as u hv heard , or books u hv read, will u say their actions r for self? No. Even if they hv to defend d present government or sovereignty of d state, they dont do it for self or who pays most. Anyway. I wish we r talking outside here. I am guided.sorry.

i didnt know nairalanders r so well informed abt d ops of DSS n other security/intellingence forces we hv in d country. D mere fact that we even talk this much abt DSS means d department has failed in their duties. Someone stated how they came to be, another stated d names of some firearms they use, i am impressed. Bt d truth is bitter, they hv failed. They r no more secret. Do u know i hear them on d news more often than d other forces put together? Thats a big red flag, thats if their ops is supposed to be secret. Now let me tell u wht i know, pls b patient, dss hv been corrupted, those mostly affected r d new breed, from 1999, not d ones that seperated from d police in 1986. These new breed r those that want to build houses within two yrs, who cant achieve this wt d salary they r paid. U will b suprised how low their salaries are. Dss r so currupt now that if police r accused of collecting 200naira on d roads, they r collecting 20k where they stand without u even knowing it. Trust me u hv to give them that credit till tomorrow. Thats how corrupt they are. Someone said they r thugs, thats exactly what they r. I dont know abt how it is in aso rock bt i do know that there is no past governor that hv not used their smart services, When kidnapping was very rampant in d southeast, some personnels made more money out of it than d kidnappers. I am not telling stories. Dss hv a more strict culture of 'wait for ur turn' than d police. Pls i am even running out of patience. So if d president has reason not to work with them, i will think its d change we r waiting for. At first i thot its cos of power play amongs d forces considering his military background bt i strongly blive dss r out of focus on wht they r established to do. However, i also blive that if they r going to b removed from aso rock, they will come back in no time. Cos they r d bravest n most intelligent force i hv ever known. Trust me on that. U hv all said d rest. I pledge to nigeria my country.

Whizpeter:
Sir, I'd rather buy a brand new Kia Picanto than buy a tokunbo 1999 toyota camry or honda baby boy..

Thats choice

bros, there r benefits of a new car too, bt d write up is not all trash. For ur picanto example, god forbid. D steering might pull off while driving. Wait, hv u driven that car? There's a difference btw driving n moving. Even if d emphasis is on d later, bros, i am not buying it for my daughter.

sevule:
You sound like you have something to hide as well. Who said that the reason a woman should know his spouse's password is to monitor him? The reason is a word called OPENNESS! Look, once you get married you basically give up your rights to privacy. You of your own volition decided to marry because you WANT TO SHARE your life with someone. If you want to retain your right to privacy then please don't get married!
It makes absolutely no sense for a couple to keep secrets. That is the beginning of disaster

lets take ur HIV example for instance, r u saying that d spouse has no right to know d partner's status? Its wrong. If we assume d partner wont be supportive, at least it will guide her towards mking a good decision as regards n if there is luv , they will both understand. Look i dont support these too much secrecy thing u all r talking abt. At that level, nothing good comes out of keeping such amount of secret. U dont hv d right to hide anything. Even if its ur account or cheating issues, being open shud help u plan ur finance n avoid cheating respectively. Unless u dont want to change from our parents ways. From my experience, those who lock phones from their wives or husbands r those who dont want to retire home n leave d street alone. It has nothing to do with information management as its called these days.

i strongly believe the wedding will still hold. If the girl loved him so much she will not tell him who disvirgined her. All she had to do is keep that info to herself and the marriage will work perfectly well. As per loosing it, he will get over it.
If u still insist we answer more than this then its tales by moon light as someone already said. Especially the 900000k salary part.

chowlade:
Some Nairalanders have Chosen to abuse me instead of contributing to the thread(it's Derailed) but when I came across this comment, I love it. U need too see all d messages directed to me, I read them all but I'll forgive them instead lol.
You have gotten my point and I really appreciate you understanding my personal perspectives and beyond. Thanks alot .

u r welcome chowlade. Its just nairaland. Forgive them.

before u render all d abusive english u hv in ur vocab, pls when next u see a smoking woman , which we hv all seen, pls approach her n ask her y she smokes. I blive d conversation out there will b better there n then. Cos d abuse u render here will b likened to shouting to another motorist from ur closed air conditioned SUV. I hv never seen d common sense in that.

before u all think i am taking d smokers side, pls note that i dont smoke. Wht this person is asking is that, y is it that having a bf isnt bad or dangerous, y is it that runzing isnt bad in d society's eye, y is it that sex isnt bad or dangerous , atleast in d nigerian society? Bt, a smoking woman is already condemned to sin, death, bad person etc, name it. If u reason from d health point of view, smoking hasnt killed as much as many diseases we hv come across from day one, bt we keep saying health health health. If u bring d non nigerian thing issue, blive me, there are many other dangerous, indecent habits we hv borrowed. Now d writer wants if someone can point at d reason y smoking among women is so bad. I am still thinking. Bt i cant get it cos i grew up just understanding that a woman who smokes is a bad person while a man who smokes isnt that bad. In fact its seen as 'cool' by d young.

These attributes help bt i hv always blived that it doesnt take 5min for a girl/Lady to like u. If after 5min nothing positive happens, then u will hv to try another. U do know a lady can like u even b4 u start talking. Same principles is happening. So u can spend one kobo n she will still be wt u, u can b denzel n she will not like u. U can b oshomole n..... lol. I think i will stop there.

i dont understand, yala okuku mrket is in cross river and not akwa ibom. There must be a mix up in the story.