₦airaland Forum

marriage1:
You took a good decision for allowing your elder sister to know about your relationship with this lady and been your elder, she investigated her for you.
It's obvious that what you narrated here has made so many people to commit suicide simply because they refused to allow their family members know what is going on in their relationship.
So many people committed suicide because of heartbreak encountered in a relationship like this.

Suicide is real, suicide is dangerous than Boko Haram.
Share your challenges with your family, speak out, let those around you know the emotional truama you are facing.
They will save your life, they will show you love and make you smile again.
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God bless you jor, my best friend even advised me but I ignored him cuz of pussy. Now I know better.

omega903:
Exactly, he still has feelings for her definitely

Wallahi, I'm done with her. No any yeye feeling anymore

Safitu:
When most of you shame single mothers, why wouldn’t she lie to you?

If she told you she had two kids would you have thought of marrying her? Go and sit down please. If you think you are going to find someone better, remember that you are still broke at your old age, reality will hit you soon. You think it’s easy to find a good woman in your wretched state? This woman loves you and all you can think about is the additional child that she has. You never jam correct babe, babe that will lie to you about her whoollleee identity, her past generation and generations to come. Shioorrr

Wretched man thinking he can have high standards, I don’t blame you, it’s society that gives you people liver na. But sooner or later, loneliness will humble you.

Better go back to this woman and keep shut.

Why don't you shut the 4k up and leave this thread. It wasn't created for toxic fellows like you. I told you I was broke which is me being honest with you but do you really think I'm still in that state? I'm quite stable financially at the moment because I threw my certificate aside and faced rea life hustling. I'm not where I hope to be, but believe it or not, I'm on my way there. if you care to read this, just know i'm not ur average unambiguous dude, I'm a well respected fellow right from university days cuz I've always been a leader, right from my department n i was equally elected head of my cds during my services period. Even presently, I'm the treasurer of my tribal association in my community. I've always bn regarded high among people I relate with both men n women cuz all my entire life, I've always been conscious of my conduct n i treat others with respect. So don't think you are talking to a fucking loser. As for women issue, I might be a bad judge of character, I'm definitely not a loser, I can always have a standard woman that I know I deserve. Good n standard women abound n I'm presently one of the quality men who can have any of them. If the lady in question is that good, why didn't the man she had 2kids for married her? How can somebody who lied about her son love me? I deserve better and I'm with one now but the scar from that toxic relationship is affecting me. Everything is working for my good by God grace.

Digital101:
The only advise I will give you is not to go back to that woman. Her major goal was to deceive you and lie to you so that you can marry her. You will be surprise that after marriage, you will discover more secrets that been hidden from you by her.
I will advise you to stop communicating with her and focus on your business and building yourself to become a better person.

Thanks. God bless u

Abfinest007:
u already said u are a fool,what does a fool need advise for again

,

Lol, I have retraced my steps na

I had to create new account for this, though i am not too popular here but i dont want my piece to be used against me tomorrow.
Having said this, here is my story. Sorry, the piece is bit long but I'm sure one or two folks may learn a valuable lesson from it.
I've been a fool wallahi and i know it but i thank God i finally retrace my step. Na so my teen era girlfriend jilted me, hurriedly left to marry another guy just because her relatives deceived her thinking I wouldn't descend low getting married to her after my graduation cuz she stopped her education at secondary school level.
To cut the story short, her informal marriage didn't eventually workout after having two kids who are way about 10yrs presently, i call the marriage informal cuz the dude didnt pay her bride price.
Credit to her, she picked herself up and built a descent business for herself after the marriage crashed. las las, i grad, things never dey rosy. Because I was underemployed but i was taking care of myself well and coupled with family committments, i could hardly save substantial sum. As per things never dey rosy with me, i hardly pay attention to involving myself in stable love relationship. all the while na so my ex-woman cum mama of 2 grown-ups was stylishly hovering around me cuz she was desperate for marriage.
she lives in ph doing her biz while i am in abuja doing my hustling. Since we have been in touch she finally found her way back into my life, using her little resources to show me unnecessary love which she actually succeeded in using to turn the head of a broke ass nigger like me thinking maybe this has always been our destiny, chai, I'm so ashamed saying this cuz I know I fuckedup big time.
this was how it happened, she came into abuja to see her cozin, then buzz me up n i invited her over. The moment she came, after little chat about the past, to cut the story short, u know na, chai, konji na basterd, lol. We nearly die together that day. The whole thing was so intense that i did samson mistake by telling her i can only get married to her if she conceived.
She got back to ph and after few days, missed period wahala came up. I was halfheartedly happy dat i'm about to be a father but was also concerned wether i'm actually responsible for the preg. When i made my concern obvious as the pregnancy progressed, she was very angry n even suggested paternity test when she put to bed.

During the course of the pregnancy, she normally visit and the relationship was going smoothly. We agreed to formalize the affair after she put to bed. She wouldnt let me handle the financial aspect based on my ability, telling me to keep calm untill my financial breakthrough. That she is capable of taking care of the preg.
whenever she came visiting, i still do my bits.

Unfortunately she had a misscarriage of twins, at 7months plus which acually aided by the fact that she refused to listen to my advice to take things easy when she was having complication.
My inability to be in charge of the relationship financially started showing in her attitude always disregarding my advise. I honestly made effort to tranfer whatever I save from my meagre salary to her but she always shut it down with don't worry.

When she lost the preg, to be honest my attitude change towards her because I warned to stop going on distance trip because she actually had a miscarriage in lagos while on her trip to the market to restock her shop in ph. I was ready to quit the relationship but she fought her way back and we were back together again.
But not quite long after the miscarriage incident, she started showing me her true color small small but too much love dey shark me. My guy warned me, I heeded not. The same way she lied to me when we were younger, she continued doing it, meaning a zebra can never change its stripes. this is the moment i finally uncovered the biggest revelation.
Let me narrate an incident that should've been a warning sign that it's wrong for a man going back to his vomit. During the years we were apart, we stil had a cordial relationship, like calling, chatting and so on, she told me she only a baby girl with the guy she left me for before they broke up, not knowing she had another baby boy for the guy before they finally brokenup without formal marriage fa.
Fast forward to when we started dating again, she maintained she had only one child which is the baby girl I've always known, but one day after hot love making session, we were on the bed gusting n she was showing me the pics of herself, her shop, her daughter and her car and then I saw the pic of a boy with a striking resemblance of her daughter, the image was unmistakable because her daughter actually look like younger self, so also the young boy. I became suspicious about the boy, I asked her but she tried changing the subject, I looked her straight in the eyes n I asked her who is the boy and I now put the question directly to her asking how many kids does she have, can you imagine this lady flew into rage asking me why i was doubting her sincerity, that she only has one kid, that the said boy was her nephew.
Today I am thinking How could a lady comfortable lie to somebody who she wants to get married to with issue as important as her son? Who does that? Can u imagine I ended up apologizing to this lady that day thinking maybe I was just being over reactive?
When the yeye love was shacking me, I discuss her issue with my elder sister, she tried warning me but she saw the futility of her attempt wished me well because she knows the lady in question very well since we all grew up in closed proximity and she was aware the lady was my first love.
So the d-day I finally took her to her house to make formal introduction was when I discovered my woman actually has 2 kids cuz my elder sister made a discreet investigation when she discovered my seriousness about her. During woman to woman talk, my elder sis told her in plain terms that she know she has 2 kids and she admitted. When my sister told me this, my legs were shaking.
I was just wandering why she has to lie to me like that but my sister just tried to downplayed the enormity of this discovery but in my mind, I knew the damage is done. When she saw my countenance after my private discussions with my sister, I believe she knew the effect the new info had on me. I'm the type who can hardly masquerade his feeling, it will show on my face.
When we got home, I asked her and she started pleading, cryin and that she did for the sake of love but I knew it there and there that this relationship is hanging by the thread. But finally one misunderstanding led to another and I can confidently and happily say, I'm out and I believe she has accepted it in good faith.
I beg you in the name of God, don't insult me.