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I Have Been A Big Fool, Pls Advise Me Folks - Romance - Nairaland

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Guys pls advise me on this Bread Seller Girl / I Am Thinking Of Quitting My Relationship, Please Advise Me On What To Do / My Fiancee Is All About Money And Fast Foods.. Pls Advise (2) (3) (4)

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I Have Been A Big Fool, Pls Advise Me Folks by Eze1984: 3:14pm On Jul 11
I had to create new account for this, though i am not too popular here but i dont want my piece to be used against me tomorrow.
Having said this, here is my story. Sorry, the piece is bit long but I'm sure one or two folks may learn a valuable lesson from it.
I've been a fool wallahi and i know it but i thank God i finally retrace my step. Na so my teen era girlfriend jilted me, hurriedly left to marry another guy just because her relatives deceived her thinking I wouldn't descend low getting married to her after my graduation cuz she stopped her education at secondary school level.
To cut the story short, her informal marriage didn't eventually workout after having two kids who are way about 10yrs presently, i call the marriage informal cuz the dude didnt pay her bride price.
Credit to her, she picked herself up and built a descent business for herself after the marriage crashed. las las, i grad, things never dey rosy. Because I was underemployed but i was taking care of myself well and coupled with family committments, i could hardly save substantial sum. As per things never dey rosy with me, i hardly pay attention to involving myself in stable love relationship. all the while na so my ex-woman cum mama of 2 grown-ups was stylishly hovering around me cuz she was desperate for marriage.
she lives in ph doing her biz while i am in abuja doing my hustling. Since we have been in touch she finally found her way back into my life, using her little resources to show me unnecessary love which she actually succeeded in using to turn the head of a broke ass nigger like me thinking maybe this has always been our destiny, chai, I'm so ashamed saying this cuz I know I fuckedup big time.
this was how it happened, she came into abuja to see her cozin, then buzz me up n i invited her over. The moment she came, after little chat about the past, to cut the story short, u know na, chai, konji na basterd, lol. We nearly die together that day. The whole thing was so intense that i did samson mistake by telling her i can only get married to her if she conceived.
She got back to ph and after few days, missed period wahala came up. I was halfheartedly happy dat i'm about to be a father but was also concerned wether i'm actually responsible for the preg. When i made my concern obvious as the pregnancy progressed, she was very angry n even suggested paternity test when she put to bed.

During the course of the pregnancy, she normally visit and the relationship was going smoothly. We agreed to formalize the affair after she put to bed. She wouldnt let me handle the financial aspect based on my ability, telling me to keep calm untill my financial breakthrough. That she is capable of taking care of the preg.
whenever she came visiting, i still do my bits.

Unfortunately she had a misscarriage of twins, at 7months plus which acually aided by the fact that she refused to listen to my advice to take things easy when she was having complication.
My inability to be in charge of the relationship financially started showing in her attitude always disregarding my advise. I honestly made effort to tranfer whatever I save from my meagre salary to her but she always shut it down with don't worry.

When she lost the preg, to be honest my attitude change towards her because I warned to stop going on distance trip because she actually had a miscarriage in lagos while on her trip to the market to restock her shop in ph. I was ready to quit the relationship but she fought her way back and we were back together again.
But not quite long after the miscarriage incident, she started showing me her true color small small but too much love dey shark me. My guy warned me, I heeded not. The same way she lied to me when we were younger, she continued doing it, meaning a zebra can never change its stripes. this is the moment i finally uncovered the biggest revelation.
Let me narrate an incident that should've been a warning sign that it's wrong for a man going back to his vomit. During the years we were apart, we stil had a cordial relationship, like calling, chatting and so on, she told me she only a baby girl with the guy she left me for before they broke up, not knowing she had another baby boy for the guy before they finally brokenup without formal marriage fa.
Fast forward to when we started dating again, she maintained she had only one child which is the baby girl I've always known, but one day after hot love making session, we were on the bed gusting n she was showing me the pics of herself, her shop, her daughter and her car and then I saw the pic of a boy with a striking resemblance of her daughter, the image was unmistakable because her daughter actually look like younger self, so also the young boy. I became suspicious about the boy, I asked her but she tried changing the subject, I looked her straight in the eyes n I asked her who is the boy and I now put the question directly to her asking how many kids does she have, can you imagine this lady flew into rage asking me why i was doubting her sincerity, that she only has one kid, that the said boy was her nephew.
Today I am thinking How could a lady comfortable lie to somebody who she wants to get married to with issue as important as her son? Who does that? Can u imagine I ended up apologizing to this lady that day thinking maybe I was just being over reactive?
When the yeye love was shacking me, I discuss her issue with my elder sister, she tried warning me but she saw the futility of her attempt wished me well because she knows the lady in question very well since we all grew up in closed proximity and she was aware the lady was my first love.
So the d-day I finally took her to her house to make formal introduction was when I discovered my woman actually has 2 kids cuz my elder sister made a discreet investigation when she discovered my seriousness about her. During woman to woman talk, my elder sis told her in plain terms that she know she has 2 kids and she admitted. When my sister told me this, my legs were shaking.
I was just wandering why she has to lie to me like that but my sister just tried to downplayed the enormity of this discovery but in my mind, I knew the damage is done. When she saw my countenance after my private discussions with my sister, I believe she knew the effect the new info had on me. I'm the type who can hardly masquerade his feeling, it will show on my face.
When we got home, I asked her and she started pleading, cryin and that she did for the sake of love but I knew it there and there that this relationship is hanging by the thread. But finally one misunderstanding led to another and I can confidently and happily say, I'm out and I believe she has accepted it in good faith.
I beg you in the name of God, don't insult me.

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: I Have Been A Big Fool, Pls Advise Me Folks by iLegendd: 3:22pm On Jul 11
Kindly put it in paragraphs. Not that I want to read or help, but for those who will. Thank you.

11 Likes 1 Share

Re: I Have Been A Big Fool, Pls Advise Me Folks by grayht(m): 3:28pm On Jul 11
iLegendd:
Kindly put it in paragraphs. Not that I want to read or help, but for those who will. Thank you.
Re: I Have Been A Big Fool, Pls Advise Me Folks by Abfinest007(m): 3:29pm On Jul 11
u already said u are a fool,what does a fool need advise for again

33 Likes 2 Shares

Re: I Have Been A Big Fool, Pls Advise Me Folks by AntiBrutus: 3:31pm On Jul 11
Why not use your main?

Abi you are one of our resident tough alfa male? undecided

Anyway, you are out.
I think that is the end of story na.

4 Likes

Re: I Have Been A Big Fool, Pls Advise Me Folks by Eze1984: 3:31pm On Jul 11
Abfinest007:
u already said u are a fool,what does a fool need advise for again
,

Lol, I have retraced my steps na
Re: I Have Been A Big Fool, Pls Advise Me Folks by shege45: 3:32pm On Jul 11
It seems you have already made ur decision, why then do you need our advice? Maybe u still love her

5 Likes 1 Share

Re: I Have Been A Big Fool, Pls Advise Me Folks by maak400: 3:33pm On Jul 11
You have learnt your lessons
Re: I Have Been A Big Fool, Pls Advise Me Folks by Digital101: 3:35pm On Jul 11
Abfinest007:
u already said u are a fool,what does a fool need advise for again
No need for insults
Re: I Have Been A Big Fool, Pls Advise Me Folks by Digital101: 3:40pm On Jul 11
The only advise I will give you is not to go back to that woman. Her major goal was to deceive you and lie to you so that you can marry her. You will be surprise that after marriage, you will discover more secrets that been hidden from you by her.
I will advise you to stop communicating with her and focus on your business and building yourself to become a better person.

9 Likes

Re: I Have Been A Big Fool, Pls Advise Me Folks by OladimejiRufai: 3:40pm On Jul 11
OP, you already told us the story is long. But you failed to tell us it is funny too grin

19 Likes

Re: I Have Been A Big Fool, Pls Advise Me Folks by Eze1984: 3:42pm On Jul 11
Digital101:
The only advise I will give you is not to go back to that woman. Her major goal was to deceive you and lie to you so that you can marry her. You will be surprise that after marriage, you will discover more secrets that been hidden from you by her.
I will advise you to stop communicating with her and focus on your business and building yourself to become a better person.

Thanks. God bless u
Re: I Have Been A Big Fool, Pls Advise Me Folks by SaucyBenks(m): 3:58pm On Jul 11
Honestly I want to insult you.

You went back to kabukabu after it offloaded twice for another master... I'm sorry bro but you're a fool. Take it in good faith.

At least you enjoyed free ToTo for the relationship grin you no loose totally.

3 Likes

Re: I Have Been A Big Fool, Pls Advise Me Folks by Deepfeel(m): 4:00pm On Jul 11
Eze1984:
I had to create new account for this, though i am not too popular here but i dont want my piece to be used against me tomorrow.
Having said this, here is my story. Sorry, the piece is bit long but I'm sure one or two folks may learn a valuable lesson from it.
I've been a fool wallahi and i know it but i thank God i finally retrace my step. Na so my teen era girlfriend jilted me, hurriedly left to marry another guy just because her relatives deceived her thinking I wouldn't descend low getting married to her after my graduation cuz she stopped her education at secondary school level.
To cut the story short, her informal marriage didn't eventually workout after having two kids who are way about 10yrs presently, i call the marriage informal cuz the dude didnt pay her bride price.
Credit to her, she picked herself up and built a descent business for herself after the marriage crashed. las las, i grad, things never dey rosy. Because I was underemployed but i was taking care of myself well and coupled with family committments, i could hardly save substantial sum. As per things never dey rosy with me, i hardly pay attention to involving myself in stable love relationship. all the while na so my ex-woman cum mama of 2 grown-ups was stylishly hovering around me cuz she was desperate for marriage.
she lives in ph doing her biz while i am in abuja doing my hustling. Since we have been in touch she finally found her way back into my life, using her little resources to show me unnecessary love which she actually succeeded in using to turn the head of a broke ass nigger like me thinking maybe this has always been our destiny, chai, I'm so ashamed saying this cuz I know I fuckedup big time.
this was how it happened, she came into abuja to see her cozin, then buzz me up n i invited her over. The moment she came, after little chat about the past, to cut the story short, u know na, chai, konji na basterd, lol. We nearly die together that day. The whole thing was so intense that i did samson mistake by telling her i can only get married to her if she conceived.
She got back to ph and after few days, missed period wahala came up. I was halfheartedly happy dat i'm about to be a father but was also concerned wether i'm actually responsible for the preg. When i made my concern obvious as the pregnancy progressed, she was very angry n even suggested paternity test when she put to bed.

During the course of the pregnancy, she normally visit and the relationship was going smoothly. We agreed to formalize the affair after she put to bed. She wouldnt let me handle the financial aspect based on my ability, telling me to keep calm untill my financial breakthrough. That she is capable of taking care of the preg.
whenever she came visiting, i still do my bits.

Unfortunately she had a misscarriage of twins, at 7months plus which acually aided by the fact that she refused to listen to my advice to take things easy when she was having complication.
My inability to be in charge of the relationship financially started showing in her attitude always disregarding my advise. I honestly made effort to tranfer whatever I save from my meagre salary to her but she always shut it down with don't worry.

When she lost the preg, to be honest my attitude change towards her because I warned to stop going on distance trip because she actually had a miscarriage in lagos while on her trip to the market to restock her shop in ph. I was ready to quit the relationship but she fought her way back and we were back together again.
But not quite long after the miscarriage incident, she started showing me her true color small small but too much love dey shark me. My guy warned me, I heeded not. The same way she lied to me when we were younger, she continued doing it, meaning a zebra can never change its stripes. this is the moment i finally uncovered the biggest revelation.
Let me narrate an incident that should've been a warning sign that it's wrong for a man going back to his vomit. During the years we were apart, we stil had a cordial relationship, like calling, chatting and so on, she told me she only a baby girl with the guy she left me for before they broke up, not knowing she had another baby boy for the guy before they finally brokenup without formal marriage fa.
Fast forward to when we started dating again, she maintained she had only one child which is the baby girl I've always known, but one day after hot love making session, we were on the bed gusting n she was showing me the pics of herself, her shop, her daughter and her car and then I saw the pic of a boy with a striking resemblance of her daughter, the image was unmistakable because her daughter actually look like younger self, so also the young boy. I became suspicious about the boy, I asked her but she tried changing the subject, I looked her straight in the eyes n I asked her who is the boy and I now put the question directly to her asking how many kids does she have, can you imagine this lady flew into rage asking me why i was doubting her sincerity, that she only has one kid, that the said boy was her nephew.
Today I am thinking How could a lady comfortable lie to somebody who she wants to get married to with issue as important as her son? Who does that? Can u imagine I ended up apologizing to this lady that day thinking maybe I was just being over reactive?
When the yeye love was shacking me, I discuss her issue with my elder sister, she tried warning me but she saw the futility of her attempt wished me well because she knows the lady in question very well since we all grew up in closed proximity and she was aware the lady was my first love.
So the d-day I finally took her to her house to make formal introduction was when I discovered my woman actually has 2 kids cuz my elder sister made a discreet investigation when she discovered my seriousness about her. During woman to woman talk, my elder sis told her in plain terms that she know she has 2 kids and she admitted. When my sister told me this, my legs were shaking.
I was just wandering why she has to lie to me like that but my sister just tried to downplayed the enormity of this discovery but in my mind, I knew the damage is done. When she saw my countenance after my private discussions with my sister, I believe she knew the effect the new info had on me. I'm the type who can hardly masquerade his feeling, it will show on my face.
When we got home, I asked her and she started pleading, cryin and that she did for the sake of love but I knew it there and there that this relationship is hanging by the thread. But finally one misunderstanding led to another and I can confidently and happily say, I'm out and I believe she has accepted it in good faith.
I beg you in the name of God, don't insult me.
Oh so she finally had a miscarriage? Hmm good for you, but why hiding are you not the guy that created a thread of the initial stage of this relationship? You were still in love then grin

1 Like

Re: I Have Been A Big Fool, Pls Advise Me Folks by anthonyuncle(m): 4:04pm On Jul 11
focus on ur hustle bro,

leave that liar to continue lying around
Re: I Have Been A Big Fool, Pls Advise Me Folks by OladimejiRufai: 4:08pm On Jul 11
Well, my piece is...


Thank God you are out of that inappropriate and dangerous union. Inappropriate because you two were not married so you were not meant to be fvcking each other even to the point that 'you nearly die' grin. If the contract of marriage has not been done, the private parts should always be kept in the underwears. This is the truth and will remain the truth no matter how bad the world gets. (pls I do not really wanna hurt you for your mistakes; no one living is sinless. But we must always correct ourselves if we want to heal the world and make it a better place.)

Then the union is dangerous, because such a woman can cause calamities in marriage. In fact, it may claim your life. A partner that hides things as serious as that from her man and that lies is not good for marriage especially if she is perfect at doing it or if you are too gullible to figure it out. (I am not insulting you).


So now that you are out, please take your sandals with you and do not forget anything in there that can cause you to go back in. ,


Another things is you should keep your distance from her and even not allow yourself to ever be in the same room with her. It is obvious your control over your 'twin brother' is very weak. I am sorry to say, your 'member' has a brain of its own that always directs it into a sensual hole and your mind does not have the willpower and determination to deter it from entering that hole when it is dangerous to enter. So do not allow yourself be alone with her. If you allow it, I am afraid if she just winks at you, wearing an alluring smile on her face, your d**k will start marching to the battlefront angry


And also, this is a time to take your life serious. Strive to be a better, bigger, stronger and richer man and seek a good companion for marriage and keep that 'dragon' in its place and only unleash it after marriage.


This is my piece. Ire oo! grin

8 Likes 1 Share

Re: I Have Been A Big Fool, Pls Advise Me Folks by Martinez39: 4:10pm On Jul 11
Another boy who can't prioritise and handle his sh1t. Hian!

1 Like

Re: I Have Been A Big Fool, Pls Advise Me Folks by Safitu(f): 4:14pm On Jul 11
When most of you shame single mothers, why wouldn’t she lie to you?

If she told you she had two kids would you have thought of marrying her? Go and sit down please. If you think you are going to find someone better, remember that you are still broke at your old age, reality will hit you soon. You think it’s easy to find a good woman in your wretched state? This woman loves you and all you can think about is the additional child that she has. You never jam correct babe, babe that will lie to you about her whoollleee identity, her past generation and generations to come. Shioorrr

Wretched man thinking he can have high standards, I don’t blame you, it’s society that gives you people liver na. But sooner or later, loneliness will humble you.

Better go back to this woman and keep shut.

7 Likes 1 Share

Re: I Have Been A Big Fool, Pls Advise Me Folks by ericsmith: 4:34pm On Jul 11
If the fact that she had a child didnt stop you from been in a relationship with her why should two kids matters ... besides she is not bringing them as liability ... thank God you be broke ass , ur money could av been the excuse.
Oga hustle so you take care of the kids she will born 4 you apparently she can take care of her kids without you... these days it had to find love,sey all these slay queens with fish brain , its had to find a woman that will support you when you have nothing. except you don't love her then move on

2 Likes

Re: I Have Been A Big Fool, Pls Advise Me Folks by JjBankys: 4:35pm On Jul 11
Safitu:
When most of you shame single mothers, why wouldn’t she lie to you? If she told you she had two kids would you have thought of marrying her? Go and sit down please. If you think you are going to find someone better, remember that you are still broke at your old age, reality will hit you soon. Better go back to this woman and keep shut

chineke meh this one worst past alpha male grin grin
Re: I Have Been A Big Fool, Pls Advise Me Folks by Michelle55(f): 5:06pm On Jul 11
You already called yourself a fool, what more can I call /say to you? Anyways, if you feel leaving her is the best solution.. Then so be it! Congrats for being free.
Re: I Have Been A Big Fool, Pls Advise Me Folks by samwash(m): 5:19pm On Jul 11
Abfinest007:
u already said u are a fool,what does a fool need advise for again

Guy u wicked oooo!!!
See ur response, funny sha.
@Op just thank God u were able to leave this kind of relationship, not everybody survive this .
The lady in question is just too desperate for marriage, I believe they are more secret to be uncovered after you married her.
For now remove your mind from her,Neva u go back to any EX , concentrate on ur hustle, make money and ask God for divine directions & guidance towards marriage & generally life.
I don't kwn how old you are ? But marriage is not something u will rush into cox it for better for worst.

1 Like

Re: I Have Been A Big Fool, Pls Advise Me Folks by ladiesreject(m): 5:57pm On Jul 11
Let me book space first before I read the epistle
Re: I Have Been A Big Fool, Pls Advise Me Folks by Greatestbull201(m): 6:13pm On Jul 11
Safitu:
When most of you shame single mothers, why wouldn’t she lie to you?

If she told you she had two kids would you have thought of marrying her? Go and sit down please. If you think you are going to find someone better, remember that you are still broke at your old age, reality will hit you soon. You think it’s easy to find a good woman in your wretched state? This woman loves you and all you can think about is the additional child that she has. You never jam correct babe, babe that will lie to you about her whoollleee identity, her past generation and generations to come. Shioorrr

Wretched man thinking he can have high standards, I don’t blame you, it’s society that gives you people liver na. But sooner or later, loneliness will humble you.

Better go back to this woman and keep shut.
I'm a guy. Sincerely i don't see anything this woman did wrong.
She sincerely explained her reasons of lieing to him, dou out of desperation n Love.
Right from his topic I read tru to see where d woman was evil but I couldn't pin point any.
Op.. finally u r a Fool. Give her a chance.

4 Likes

Re: I Have Been A Big Fool, Pls Advise Me Folks by Efewestern: 6:17pm On Jul 11
She didn't cheat on you, she isn't demanding, she didn't have the kids for different men, but one, which according to you was her ex, so bro, what exactly is her crime?

You better think twice and not let your ego get the better part of you.

6 Likes

Re: I Have Been A Big Fool, Pls Advise Me Folks by NnaaGuy: 6:34pm On Jul 11
What a great love story. smiley

No, I'm not being sarcastic. I actually enjoy reading such tales from real life.
Re: I Have Been A Big Fool, Pls Advise Me Folks by bullabong(m): 6:46pm On Jul 11
Eze1984:


Thanks. God bless u
I can never and will never trust a woman...they are full of lies.

2 Likes

Re: I Have Been A Big Fool, Pls Advise Me Folks by AryEmber(f): 6:57pm On Jul 11
Am I the only one who does not understand what this dude wants? You want us to advice you on what exactly?

2 Likes

Re: I Have Been A Big Fool, Pls Advise Me Folks by skultrick(m): 7:05pm On Jul 11
Efewestern:
She didn't cheat on you, she isn't demanding, she didn't have the kids for different men, but one, which according to you was her ex, so bro, what exactly is her crime?

You better think twice and not let your ego get the better part of you.

Perhaps you forget that trust is the key to a lasting relationship. Lie to me and I'll dump your ass forever.

4 Likes

Re: I Have Been A Big Fool, Pls Advise Me Folks by AwkaetitiBabe(f): 7:06pm On Jul 11
Honesty is the best policy. Life goes on.


It's definitely not written in your stars to be together.
Re: I Have Been A Big Fool, Pls Advise Me Folks by AwkaetitiBabe(f): 7:07pm On Jul 11
skultrick:


Perhaps you forget that trust is the key to a lasting relationship. Lie to me and I'll dump your ass forever.
Sometimes people lie to protect that which they love. Not that they meant any harm

1 Like

Re: I Have Been A Big Fool, Pls Advise Me Folks by skultrick(m): 7:09pm On Jul 11
Safitu:
When most of you shame single mothers, why wouldn’t she lie to you?

If she told you she had two kids would you have thought of marrying her? Go and sit down please. If you think you are going to find someone better, remember that you are still broke at your old age, reality will hit you soon. You think it’s easy to find a good woman in your wretched state? This woman loves you and all you can think about is the additional child that she has. You never jam correct babe, babe that will lie to you about her whoollleee identity, her past generation and generations to come. Shioorrr

Wretched man thinking he can have high standards, I don’t blame you, it’s society that gives you people liver na. But sooner or later, loneliness will humble you.

Better go back to this woman and keep shut.

Why would someone choose tokubo over new chassis.

Not to mention the educational disparity.

Only a sissy is ok with a woman's money.

And as a man he can find a very young woman even at 60, ask Ned Nwoko.

11 Likes

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