₦airaland Forum

Isn't it shocking how the strangest people will think they can come and talk to you? I don't have any really "standards" on beauty but please , come correct!
My sister was once toasted (if you can even call it that) by one vulgar okada man, it didn't help that he was filthy and toothless either .

I recently started a thread on Adichie, I love HOAYS, very well written, honest and revealing.

HAHAHAHAHA omg I have heard of those! Sometimes they keep guessing random names till you say yours out of irritation!

i lived in france for a couple of years.though am now in the uk,i might be able to help you with info.

What is the Nigerian community like there? I've only been able to go once and only for a short while ( 2 days ), but I have always been intrigued by the country itself. Are Nigerians suffering as much discrimination as the Senegalese and other francophone immigrants?

I think that the worst "lines" I ever get are the ones that where they insist that I like what they are doing. Oh, you know the ones,

Random Guy : Ey! Ey! EY! YOU LOOKING GEWD GIRL!
Me: *walks*
RG: Ey, I love that "mean pussy" girl! *laughs*, girl where you going?
Me: *walks faster towards bus and begins paying*
RG: *hops on bus, grabs my behind* You know you like it girrrrrrrllll
Me: *turns around, punches RG in the throat and watches him fall off the bus steps*

I think the worst of it wasn't just the physical intrusion but that he [b]insisted [/b]that I liked it, I dunno why people think that a woman ignoring or saying "No" is some sort of weird way of saying "yes, i'm ignoring you because i want you to come over, I'm running because I want you to follow me, etc".

As for ones that may work, the girls I know are more interested in guys that comment on things that they put an effort in or things that obviously reflect their interest (band t-shirt, a book they are reading, etc). Now that I think of it , the guy I knew that had the best luck with girls was a beautician, he would always compliment girls on small things that had to do with their look (eg : "wow! I loved how you used white liner to emphasize your already striking eyes; you have amazing facial structure; why yes! I am involved in cosmetics!, Let's go to my room, all of my tools are there, ) . Basically I just think that most women want to approached based on a shared interest, not because you saw them from far away and found them physically appealing.

I found these in a local record store of mine.


The first album (Nigeria Rock Special) is the one i bought and took home to listen to, LOVED IT! I was especially excited since it was my first time in that particular store and I didn't even know that Nigerian's had their had in rock music.

The second album (Living Is Hard: West African Music in Britain 1927-1929), was played for me by the shop boy, and is a collection of West African music played in Britain during the late 1920's. Very melodic and extremely fascinating. I do hope to return and purchase it soon.

Has anyone else heard of or listened to these? If not you may want to look into it

Has anyone else ever noticed the amount of mentally ill people running in the streets in Nigeria? I would like to blame this on the lack-of-knowledge and money that the government uses to support homeless people in general , until I realize that many of these people are not born homeless, but are the children on middle class people! There are people that actually abandon their children or let them run away due to the embarrassment they feel having them around. It also may be due to the financial pressures of raising such a child in a country like Nigeria, but I still can't understand how such a thing could still be done in these times? And why is there no focus on control and treatment of the physically and mentally impaired in Nigeria?, since it is an obviously prevalent problem in our country. I also find that people are more reluctant to adopt, marry, or even associate with one that may have a mentally or physically impaired family member, even if the disability has been proven to not be genetically spread. In a country that values family as much as ours, how can this continue?

Is there a designated "Fashion Week" in nigeria? I know that South Africa has one. If not, has any one ever been to the one in South Africa?

Faith, is one thing, but religion is a system. Christianity seems to be one of the more limiting of these systems since it's text is riddled with so many contradictions that it can be molded to say almost anything, depending on who you are and what your agenda is. Slave masters were able to use it against slaves, AA's were able to use it against fear, Europeans were able to use it against Africans and now Africans are now using it against each other. I'm not saying that Christianity is the only religion that has been used against people, but in terms of Nigeria, it is surely doing more than it's share of damage.

I agree with the original post, I think that monogamy is not for everyone, and has proven (with humans ever-so-prominent promiscuity) not to be. The idea that a spouse or partner doesn't "love" someone if they wish to have other sexual partners, to me, sounds silly, sex is an action that is done not just to reproduce or to show affection, but (let's be honest) to "get off". It's a pleasurable, animal act and many relationships are suffering because while they may be linked to someone in every aspect, there are sexual desires that are yet to filled, which can cause a whole other set of problems. Some people find that "swinging" , having an open relationship, adding another wife/husband, etc; tightens their bond and actually raises trust.
Monogamy is achievable and right for some couples but it takes a conscious effort that usually has be be enforced with something other than a promise made to your partner ( personal beliefs/morality ,religion, etc). There are people that enjoy a "closed" or "private" relationship including the effort it takes to keep such a relationship as is.

what's the harm in doing the housework? If the woman is obviously the one making most of the money, or has a more demanding job than the husband, then is it not obvious that you can't have the "typical" marriage? (which is not a bad thing), Why should a wife be expected to work hard outside the home to come back home, NOT to rest, but to continue working at the home?
I feel that Nigerian men and women have been expected to live up to these rigid standards and roles of "wife" and "husband" that no longer apply to every marriage, instead of couples focusing on their own situations, they worry about what a marriage is "supposed" to be like, this ultimately leads to failure on dissatisfaction in marriages.

Quote from: da ACE man on June 12, 2008, 11:07 PM
I bet that if someone told some of you people that they smoked weed,you will now look as if u c them hittin a crack pipe!, marijuana is only social stigma because those in "higher power" have painted the picture this way,their can be no other explanation.

I never seen a person go crazy after smokin weed,I never seen or heard of anyone dyin from it so what is the excuse of not welcoming it, na if I sit for your livin room and light up a joint,u go c me like I dey craze,but if I light a toxic tobacco cigarette u will probably join me in the sucide.(not to even mention alchahol)

My 2 cents Cool

Because you've never seen it doesn't mean it doesn't happen. GO and visit psychiatric wards all round the world if you have the courage and see if there is no correlation with marijuana and psychosis.

BE WARNED!!!

lol sounds like "reefer madness"! Alcohol can cause the same (and worse) symptoms. I suggest watching "Grass". It's a history of marijuana and marijuana in America, quite interesting.

Parts 1-9
http://youtube.com/watch?v=ZGKeq2HrBxA
http://youtube.com/watch?v=tYlpj7_ZeI8
http://youtube.com/watch?v=G0-nMykuk2k
http://youtube.com/watch?v=FwGABx1AsIM
http://youtube.com/watch?v=fZIuBiQIoIo
http://youtube.com/watch?v=z0dPWtqcYvk
http://youtube.com/watch?v=SMIGXOp4kdw
http://youtube.com/watch?v=MDV_FiyA9pE

Quote from: konkocious on Yesterday at 12:29:20 PM
If you are to help/assist your girlfriend/wife in doin house work, which of the house work will you prefer to do in helping her
sweeping, cooking or washing or any other one apart from the one i mentioned


A man is not helping his wife by doing some house chores, he is only playing his part in the upkeep of the house.

Exactly. If two adults live together and own a home together, then surely they can take over the housework together?

Personally I don't care whether people have children or not, but the reasons given as to why they want children are often (if not always) selfish,

1. Because it's the 'done' thing (and you wouldn't want to look different!)

2. Because it cements the relationship (making it harder for either partner to leave the marriage, but placing pressure/importance on the child)

3. Because my parents want granchildren (laughable!)

There are host of other reasons that may come to me later,

But to summarise my feelings on child rearing:
Unless you sat down and decided that you wanted children 100% because it would benefit the rest of the world, with not a thought as to what you as a person desired, I do not think you can honestly claim that decision to be entirely altruistic.

First of all, LOL at the "kidney" comment, If that's not incentive, I dunno what is!

I definetly agree with this, I think that at this place in time if you really wanted to have children to "benefit" the world, you could just as well adopt since it (IMO) is less selfish than having kids just for the pleasure, status, approval, or whatever. I personally have had this battle for a while since I do eventually want to have children, but I know that it's illogical to do so,. Also,one would be doing a great service to some child's life (the horror stories of foster homes, unadopted children, and mentally ill children that were abandoned are enough to bring most people to tears ) but it would also require me to make a huge sacrifice on my part. Either way the choice should be up to you, after all the hubbub you're the one that has to raise the child, all of the people that influenced you to do so are free to leave as they please.

All men are created equal I know that. You can be a friend to anybody because you are a human being too. My boss is my boss at work, I have to take orders from him there but we can still be friends. This doesn't mean that I am any less of a human being than he is. It just means I recognize his hierarchy in the working environment.
Says who that real men feel that women are inferior to them?

If all people are created equally than why can't all people be encouraged to live the life they want without worrying about society's backlash? Did you just comparing a working relationship with and romantic one? I am wondering if you are claiming that their is a heiarchy in relationships, if so, I just don't see why that is neccesarry, when you can admit that someone is not better than you, then why not have equality? Your boss earned the right to be your boss, what does a man do to earn the right to be the head of the householf?

Thus the reason for double standards. Do you really think men would come out to say that they have been sexually harassed? He doesn't want to be seen as a weak gay. The law doesn't dictate that women should be paid fewer than men. The nature of your job determines how much you get paid. If you work at a place where a guy lifts 50 boxes a day compared to your 30 similar boxes, he deserves to be paid more, jobs take these things into account. Needless to say that if you work at a hair salon a lady is usually more desirable by women to do their hair while the man may get a few customers here and there, so tell me does not the lady deserve to make more than the man who doesn't get as much customers as she does? I know about the stereotypes that prevent women from making as much as men in certain types of industries. I don't support these stereotypes, but they are much better than they were many years ago, so improvements are being made.

No, there are women that get paid less for doing the same job in the same building, and from what I see men are being given just as much respect and money from people in the beauty industry as women do. Improvements are being made, but only because people in the past fought for it, it wasn't some random spark of social evolution, the process was slow and for some, painful.

Explains much? I hope it doesn't explain to you that you have the authority to label me a misogynist, elitist, hyprocrite like you did with those on that other thread? It would be completely untrue. I am not a christian who's asking that women be seen as inferior beings that should be dominated. Christianity doesn't teach me that.[/[/b]quote]
No comment

There wasn't that many divorces flying around. Just kidding! I believe it is like that because if you dig deep into Nigerian society, the man is the working parent while the mom is a stay-at-home housewife.

Wonder why [b]that is,

Men don't just go out of their way to not "step out of their designated role" . If my wife comes home from work feeling tired, while I'm sitting there watching football with the kids needing to eat, I don't mind feeding them. It doesn't make me any less of a man. But at some point when it's becoming too heavy you have to draw the line and say, look woman enough of this.

I'm sure men find it harder to because a) it's a role and any role is hard to pull away from and b) it's much more easier to fufill, even its a man loses his job and is no long fufilling his role or breadwinner, he is still expected to keep his authority. Whats wrong with a man regularly making his own food? Or the family meals? Especially if the woman is the one working more and paying bills. I do think that if there are kids involved SOMEONE has to be home more than they work and someone has to work more than they are at home, but I think that it should vary from relationship to relationship.

Just as a man can hold on to his culture and have the sense to use what he believes will work for him. African women too are being pushed out of their comfort zone. Good example is if you look under the romance section, there are still quite a few women who will not marry a man without a job, because they feel like it is the duty of a man to be the breadwinner of his house, and I agree with them.

that is their choice and their desire, but what of the women that want a man that can raise a family?

Feministic what exactly is your point with all that you've spewed?

LOL, all of my spewing is just to prove that homosexuals, according to the bible are no worse than any other "sinners" yet people condemn them like other people's "sins" are better. Just because other churchs don't claim that they take in liars, cheats, etc doesn't mean that they don't. Honestly, I do think that Gay people shouldn't muddle their reputations with xtianity, but they have to start somewhere.

I'm going to stop responding to this thread since the only way that you can even get through to most xtians is by being one, most ignore logic and use their faith to back up any personal idea they have, lucky for them, the Bible makes it easy

We can love everyone as human beings and as God's creation AND STILL spread the word of God.  Christians are basically filing a defamation protest against these culprits for staining their religion, I am very happy about this. Lol @ Neitzsche.  Because Neitzsche says God is dead now I should believe him but I shouldn't believe God when he says he is as alive as ever?  Bite me!  If you are going to accuse christianity of not understanding the dynamic and changing evolvement of people, I could also accuse you of not knowing that Christianity has prophesied that people like you will come out in the future with pure hate for the Son of Man.  Is that proof enough for you that Christianity understands the change enough to know that you will appear in the present?

Your inability to take on another perspective than your own is pathetic and obviously a result of your bias.LOL, at the christian "prophecy" ( that every person has heard about, trust me, monotheists never fail to through that old dog in out faces, ), people hated them then, I'm sure that it was more than easy to say that people would doubt  them now since there is NO one thing that anyone believes. "spreading the word of God" os different that using today's authority to spread hate, if you xtians are so sincere about keeping their noses clean, why not exclude liars, cheaters, elitists and other common sinners from the church? The bible condems THEM as well, or is that "different"?If you are going to continue to ignore logic and enforce everything you say with  questionable Christian theory, then I don't even see the point of continuing this discussion, your bias makes it impossble to think outside of your own small box.

Oh God please.  If you don't understand what you read from the bible at least confess that you don't.  The bible does not glorify or approve of rape, you have FAILED!

if a man is caught in the act of raping a young woman who is not engaged, he must pay fifty pieces of silver to her father.  Then he must marry the young woman because he violated her, and he will never be allowed to divorce her.

Rape a woman, gain a wife; sounds like a steal

Besides the Bible's obvious indifference to rape victims, it has many other flaws and contridictions that make it seem more human influenced than "God" influenced, maybe thats cause people wrote the Bible, not god, not the son of god, just people.

Bullshit! What I see is you looking for ways to ridicule christians for fighting against people who manufacture false notions about what the religion entails.

Ridicule? I was only quoting the text that Christians claim is the foundation of their church. The way christian belief dominate the government, business world, school system, etc is all to familiar to the same society that persecuted the original xtians in the past. Why pick and choose? And why pick the easier way out? Its much easier to mask your own agenda with false spirituality, why not open up and love people for who they are and what they want to be?

They were a minority, they were condemned then, now that they are a majority they are still being condemned.  Depending on which country you reside, christians are a minority.  The violence and outcry against Christians cannot be compared to any other.  It hasn't stopped - this is proof.

Are u kidding? more than 2.1 billion people in the world are christians, with muslims and atheists directly behind in number. How is this proof? How many other people have spoken against homophobia here? now compare it to those spewing their hateful garbage.

Truth is, that as long as you are hindered by a bias supported by most of the world, there is no way that you will be  able to put yourself in anyone elses shoes, just as you care to ignore the pain and struggles of widely persecuted minorites, is just how people ignored the cries of original xtians who wanted to be left alone to practice their faith.

Evolution surely is a possibility. I think that in a way science is "God".
We are all linked together, no matter how much we try to deny it with
false lines and self created differences.

Numbers 27

8 "Say to the Israelites, 'If a man dies and leaves no son, turn his inheritance over to his daughter.


Numbers 6

6 "If she marries after28 If a man happens to meet a virgin who is not pledged to be married and rapes her and they are discovered, 29 he shall pay the girl's father fifty shekels of silver. [c] He must marry the girl, for he has violated her. He can never divorce her as long as he lives. she makes a vow or after her lips utter a rash promise by which she obligates herself 7 and her husband hears about it but says nothing to her, then her vows or the pledges by which she obligated herself will stand. 8 But if her husband forbids her when he hears about it, he nullifies the vow that obligates her or the rash promise by which she obligates herself, and the LORD will release her.


Deut 22;

23 If a man happens to meet in a town a virgin pledged to be married and he sleeps with her, 24 you shall take both of them to the gate of that town and stone them to death—the girl because she was in a town and did not scream for help, and the man because he violated another man's wife. You must purge the evil from among you.

28 If a man happens to meet a virgin who is not pledged to be married and rapes her and they are discovered, 29 he shall pay the girl's father fifty shekels of silver. [c] He must marry the girl, for he has violated her. He can never divorce her as long as he lives.


1 Corinthians 14

34 women should remain silent in the churches. They are not allowed to speak, but must be in submission, as the Law says. 35If they want to inquire about something, they should ask their own husbands at home; for it is disgraceful for a woman to speak in the church.


1 Timothy 2

11A woman should learn in quietness and full submission. 12I do not permit a woman to teach or to have authority over a man; she must be silent. 13For Adam was formed first, then Eve. 14And Adam was not the one deceived; it was the woman who was deceived and became a sinner. 15But women[a] will be saved[b] through childbearing—if they continue in faith, love and holiness with propriety.

1 Corinthians 11
3Now I want you to realize that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is man, and the head of Christ is God. 4Every man who prays or prophesies with his head covered dishonors his head. 5And every woman who prays or prophesies with her head uncovered dishonors her head—it is just as though her head were shaved. 6If a woman does not cover her head, she should have her hair cut off; and if it is a disgrace for a woman to have her hair cut or shaved off, she should cover her head. 7A man ought not to cover his head,[b] since he is the image and glory of God; but the woman is the glory of man. 8For man did not come from woman, but woman from man; 9neither was man created for woman, but woman for man. 10For this reason, and because of the angels, the woman ought to have a sign of authority on her head.

Leviticus 12:

1 The LORD said to Moses, 2 "Say to the Israelites: 'A woman who becomes pregnant and gives birth to a son will be ceremonially unclean for seven days, just as she is unclean during her monthly period. 3 On the eighth day the boy is to be circumcised. 4 Then the woman must wait thirty-three days to be purified from her bleeding. She must not touch anything sacred or go to the sanctuary until the days of her purification are over. 5 If she gives birth to a daughter, for two weeks the woman will be unclean, as during her period. Then she must wait sixty-six days to be purified from her bleeding.

Matthew 5
31"It has been said, 'Anyone who divorces his wife must give her a certificate of divorce.'[f] 32But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, causes her to become an adulteress, and anyone who marries the divorced woman commits adultery.

Misogyny in the bible,
how un-shocking.

That wasn't exactly what you did in your post which is why I pointed it out to you. You basically said they're blah elitist, blah misogynists, blah this, blah that. They're also blah great, blah forgiving, blah wonderful, blah loving people. The reason people here are against this abhorrent propaganda of a "gay church" i[b]s that it contradicts what Christianity teaches. [/b]

and being a hate spewing bigot does nothing to tarnish the image of an alleged Christian? You are still picking and choosing. What leaving judgement for God? What about loving everyone as a human being and as God's creation? Religion is unrealistic because I forgets that people are dynamic and changing, and no matter what they are told to love, they will always condemn what they like. It like when Nietzsche said: "God is Dead". People have killed that fear of God, it no longer keep people away from their yearn to hate.

Expect these same sane people to be on their tippy toes when people start a rally to promote something like "Rape Church" because that also violates our teachings.

the bible actually approves of rape, you might want to take a closer look at Judges 21:10-24 , Deuteronomy 22:28-29, 2 Samuel 12:11-14 , amongst others where rape is seen as "not so bad" and sometimes the right thing to do.

If there are laws in Nigeria which prevent this from happening I am thankful. If that makes me hateful, so be it.

See how good it feels and how much easier it is to hate and condemn based on your own fears and desires? I'm not sure what this mess in the Bible is all about your many duty on earth being to love everyone and not to judge people,

"Owe nothing to anyone except to love one another; for he who loves his neighbor has fulfilled the law."

Bullshit, right?

Everyone is being condemned. Life is unfair, so using this argument that minorities are just being unfairly targeted doesn't fly. You have basically proven that point by attacking the christians here as well. Everywhere you are there are always people willing to be hostile to send the message that they oppose what you do. They have their reasons, we have our reasons for throwing jabs at gay people for doing what they do, especially if they're using our Christian mantra which is against it.

Yea, that argument would work if Modern Christians were actually a minority. They are not nearly as condemned as other groups can you really compare the violence that other minorities receive to what M/C's experience?

Omg Shocked Shocked You're going bonkers here. I asked why you insulted christian churchgoers and you still tried to find a way to rationalize your insults? I have never attacked someone for cupping beliefs different from mine. I understand that the world is filled with different people who bring different tools to the table, who believe ideas that are different from mine. Do you believe that condemnation is more forceful in changing what you dislike about their methods of loving, as opposed to you perhaps discussing it with them politely that you disagree with what they do? Even if you disagree with the teachings of christ, become a moslem and let's see if it's any better, ritualist, buddhist, all religions have people who disagree with their teachings. The Christian religion is not for everyone and we have way too many religions for you to choose which one you would rather believe. The people you should be attacking are religious extremists who go way overboard with their religious obsessions which causes them to start killing people. The christian churchgoers you lumped under one umbrella are way too many to be described the way you did. Amongst them are kind people, loving husbands, beautiful mothers, good samaritans, miracle workers sweet hearts, etc. Would you glorify people calling your children bastards when you know you're their mother and you had them in wedlock? Of course not, you would be mad.

It's alright. The bible has predicted all these things you have said. We have been told that Christ's beloved sons will be hated by the world.

I didn't insult Christian churchgoers, I was calling out Christian hypocrites. The things that I said were very little opinion, I was recalling actual facts, xtianity is usually used as a "pick and chose" religion, as are most religions.You don't consider homophobes that enforce laws and ideas to control peoples sexual behavior to be religious extremists? IMO, a religious extremist is anyone who uses force to enforce the rules of their religion on anyone else. You don't need to kill people to hurt them, your ridicule and inexplicable hatred are more than enough. Never attacked? What the "gays beware" comment? It seems all too easy for most people to switch from "caring" to hateful when certain topics are brought up.

As for your last comment, try to really think about this, in this society, who is really being condemned? Christianity is a religion that is accepted almost anywhere you go. In the workplace, school, government, etc. The people that are really being condemned are the minorities, poor people, gay people, etc. I've read my bible and Christians back then were treated TERRIBLY, they were beaten, harassed, killed, and they had to hold their meetings in the worst of places. Compare that to the new "modern Christianity" of today. IMO, if you are right, a lot of "followers" are in for a rude awakening,

@topic
the problem with religion and religious believes in this day and age is the grey area that exists,in the xtian religion that i grew up with it was either right or wrong and being gay,just like stealing,idol worshipping,paedophilia e.t.c are sins before GOD and shouldnt be associated with christianity,like the babalawos do,they can have their own gay religion without staining christianity with it, you wont allow paedophiles to set up their church or people that practice bestiality,necrophilia e.t.c so why should we in the name of political correctness go against the word of GOD,its plain wrong and being gay is unnatural,same as being psychotic or other illnesses connected to the brain

Questions
Should a dying poor child steal from a fat greedy rich man?
Does the "sin" of "idol worshiping" condemn our african ancestors to "Hell"?
Pedophilia? Like when Men used to marry girls as young as 16 and start families with them?

There are very few obvious "rights" and "wrongs" in this world, since each one changes with every situation. No on asked racist, sexist, or homophobic xtians "to have their own religion" without staining Christ's name with it, so why are gay people the ones being cast out here? Religion, for many people, is just another way to back up their own hateful bias.

Where did you get your “most men” statistic from? From my observations, most men conceive their notions about feminists based on their overdeveloped sensitivity to being equal, so much that they turn men into enemies that oppose their progress.

If you are unwilling to treat someone as an equal, then how can they be your friend? much less want your genuine progress?

If I mentioned that it is hard for women to be successful in society, I think I also hinted that it is just as hard for men to be successful in society as well. We don’t just steal our keeps, we earn our keep. The quantity, or type, of success depends on who you ask. I mentioned the law granting us equal freedom and protection.

If it were "just as hard" for men as it is for women don't you think there would be less sexual harassment claims? Less claims of unequal pay? While women are now a huge part of the workforce abroad, there is still alot of sexism that they suffer that most men have to deal with. The law where? In America or Nigeria? For America there is still unequal pay, tons of perfectly legal sexism in the nations military, and the constant threat to a woman's right to choose. As for Nigeria? Well, sadly, I think the sexism there is more than obvious.

I would say it’s crazy for a woman to be in control of the marriage because when I think of control, I visualize an alarm going off in my head thinking this woman thinks she can be the boss over me. As a Christian I believe the man is the head of the household so that’s my reason for being as biased in that regards. If you are an oriental woman, or say a Caucasian woman who believes in this big concept of independence and equality, good for you; find a man who will let you dominate him. You don’t really need a man to acquire your independence, because he is most likely going to be a backbreaker. We men have egos that prevent us from just taking the backseat. Masculinity is not in support of that concept.

Ah, a Christian? That explains much. You shouldn't have to be white or any other race in order to want to be treated as an equal. And just because some men have huge inexplicable ego's doesn't mean they all do, this is where gender roles take their toll on men.

Being a woman does not require you to be a mother. Being a mother is a choice. If you wish to be a mother you should know that it comes with responsibilities which require you to cater for your children. Women are more likely to have custody over their children because society has this consensus that women are better caregivers to children than men. Unless there’s strong evidence suggesting against giving custody to the woman, the woman would usually get the kids.

In America that is, but in Nigeria it is more typical for the children to remain with the father, even if there is evidence that he is not a suitable caregiver.

Never was it said that it was your only option. Societal flexibility has allowed women, for many years now, to work while still bearing the load of motherhood. I don’t see a reason why a mother who cares about her children should be fussing about going home after work to look after her kids. Men and women are brought up differently, have different genetic makeups, is that not one of the most important reasons we have different, roles to fulfill? Few deflections here and there by people who choose not to follow the established path does not mean we should mess up the order of things. This thirld-world mentality of copying the west is basically pushing our African women out of their comfort zone.

I'm sure that there are men that can understand that a woman can care for her children ans still be tired when they come home from work, we are people! We shouldn't be expected to do it all just because a man doesn't want to step out of his designated "role. The "established path" and the "order of things"? I'm going to assume this is more Christian talk. Another trend I have been noticing in africans is a tendency to pick and chose which parts a of other cultures to follow; thoughts on gender equality: no, Christianity: yes; fashion trends?: yes, ideas that challenge the "norm": no. I don't think that it's african women that are being pushed out of their comfort zone, I think that it's african men. A woman can still hold on to her culture and still have the sense to root out ideas that worked back then and ideas that apply to now.

If you know that gender roles don’t just hurt women, they hurt men too; why not pay attention to both sides? If you think society is at fault then blame society as a whole. Society is composed of both men and women. You believe that society has put men in control of some things you would like, just as society has put women in control of some things certain men would like to do. We can either put up with it, shut up, or change it. If you opt to change it, do it wisely.

I do pay attention to both sides, thats why I mentioned it. There are some women that question a man that is domesticated and wants to stay at home, etc but that is usually because of a criteria set up by men. Women need to explore their options without fear of the inevitable backlash, we are better than we were 100 years a go because someone was willing to stand up. If people of african descent had accepted segregation and colonization as the "natural order of things" as whites wanted them to, where would we all be today?

Nobody is superior in a relationship its only a shallow thinker that reckons a man
should dominate . I'd personally prefer to marry a lady who is smarter so
long the relationship is filled with happiness, well am nt sayin i'd want a woman that wont
listen to me but i stil think both husband and wife should enjoy the power of dominance in a relationship.

Right on!

What did christian churchgoers do to deserve the unhealthy aversion from you? This is absurd.

The same way that followers of the "Prince of Peace" can pick and choose who to treat well and who to treat like dirt. Also, the fact that the Bible's many contradictions and inhumane text have allowed it to be used by many power structures as a scare tactic to keep the masses in control and in the dark. People of african descent, slaves, women, poor people, rich people, gay people and many others have all been persecuted due to the manipulators of this rigid belief system. The worst is that after doing all of that, many feel free to sweep other "sins" under the rug (premarital sex, infidelity, lying, etc), accepting them as "natural" or "inevitable" and continue to preach about "love" and "peace" ( i.e: God forgives all sins, blah, blah, blah). Lets face it: many "Christians" beliefs don't coincide with Christ teachings. Which is why they skip over the "love your neighbor" part in the Bible and go right part they claim "prove" their hateful opinions concerning sexuality. There are very few people that really live up to Christ's teachings and even they can tell you it's more than rare that they ever see other "real Christians".

Sexual preferences shouldnt be made into a political box.

The outside world shouldnt care what you do within.

Homosexuality being a Sexual preference dosnt make it healthy or natural

I agree with the first two statements since, "tolerance" is usually an easier goal than "acceptance", a lot of people think that if they completely leave gay people alone, that they will rise up like some demon and "infect" society with it , when in actuality, heterosexuals have done a better job of that already.

As for the last comment; who knows for sure? as society goes on we learn more things but IMO your sexuality can be as fluid as you allow it to be, the only thing that is proved biologically is that as humans we are able to experience different levels of sensuality and happiness, it varies with people and as long as it doesn't after anyone else, who really cares what you are doing or how "healthy or natural" it is? There are no laws from stopping alcoholics or smokers from doing what [i]they [/i]do.