₦airaland Forum

Feministic,

Your new username will not hide you.

Gay people are an unnatural and unhealthy minority

which we shouldnt allow to infect all other facets of our society

Uhm, what? Do you think I'm someone you know?

Infect? Homosexuality is not a disease, It doesn't require recruitments or followers, they just want to go about their lives in peace without worrying.
Minorities that try to victimize other minorities are pathetic, lets not forget that people of african descent were once the scapegoats of society, Will it take us the same amount of centuries to realize our mistakes?

Its called freedom of choice. . . who are we to judge?

Homosexuality is not a disease, it is simply a sexual preference. . . we need to learn to be more tolerant!

I agree, sexuality is a choice and why anyone who was not comfortable with their choice would care, baffles me. People should not be able to effect other peoples lives the way Nigeria has been trying to for homosexuals. It's not only conformist, unnecessary and embarrassing.

If Gay people find themselves in heaven, Then Adolf Hitler is probably hangin out with Moses.

People have thought so, since Adolf Hitler persecuted gay people as well, not surprising since when you hate one minority for pointless reasons, its more than easy to hate others. Oppression rarely changes tactics, its the mask that has variety. Try comparing people like; idi amin, stalin, hitler, lenin to the new spread of the homophobia in churches, schools, governments, etc , you may notice some stark similarities.

I do think that sadly, Nigeria is not the place to be if you want to "reach for the stars"
the poverty rate, population and limitations on technology make it near impossible to achieve as much as you could elsewhere.
Very sad since Nigerians are usually VERY intelligent *toots national horn* LOL , and usually blossom careerwise anywhere else.
It's like all of this intelligence we have is nothing if not supported with power.
Also there is a small mindedness in most african nations that makes it hard to develop free thought as well/
but I won't lie: With the rich history, culture, amazing food, landscape and weather, I love to vacation here *dons sunglasses*

It really comes as a shock to me that you agreed with a guy. Real feminists don't hate men, they just go on rants about men controlling their lives, men being misogynists, men being oppressive, and so forth. Being a female topdog at a top company as a CEO does not automatically assign you a right to lead your home. If you are in that type of family and your husband allows you to be the authority over him, kudos to you. Being a good wife isn't all dependent on the type of job you have. I don't see how a wife should feel too bloated to give her husband his dues because she's making more money than he is. Marriage is usually based on compromise between a husband and his wife. Men would rather do somethings while women would much rather do other things. A man is not biologically programmed to nurture his kids, women are geared more towards those types of marital duties. Men take care of their kids too but the women do it better, in my opinion.

It may come as a shock to you because most men have preconceived notions about feminists that are based on stereotypes and isolated incidents. Society as a whole is controlled by a male power structure (government/media/etc), pretending its not true won't make it any different. Being a professional woman should earn you respect, because as you mentioned, it is harder for women to become successful in this world, and if she decides that she wants to work all day and still come home to cook and clean and all that, then cheers for her. But what of women that say "No" to that? They always receive backlash for not wanting to conform to society's standards and are usually given "Ballbuster" status. A man in control of a household is "normal" while a women in control of one is "crazy". And as for giving a husband his "dues", I'm not really sure what you are talking about. I also would like to make it clear that I am in no way considering Motherhood to be submissive and I will admit that the intimacies of motherhood will ensure a woman's closer relationship with her children, but being a woman does not require you to be a mother and being a man does not mean that you want to have authority. There are men in this world that see their wives as equals, or like to stay at home with their children while their wife works, they're not "bad" or "weird" , they are just different and aware that families can be different. And no denying that there are women who love to stay home with their children and are domesticated, this is fine to, but it shouldn't be our only option. Women and Men are dynamic, so why can't the roles be to?

It's okay. Apology accepted. We have no choice but to get along with each other. I don't buy into the concept of total superiority but there are aspects where the man is - - i don't like to use the word superior - - where the man should be the one to call, just like there are other aspects where the woman is the best for the job.
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I think that qualities change with people. Men and Women are different and should be allowed to explore all options. Some women are more organized and better with bill paying, making money, etc and are not domesticated. while they're men that are very domestic and love to be with their children more than being in some office. This is what feminism is about : it recognizes that gender roles don't just hurt women, they confine men as well.

Men call it whining when it becomes too routine, despite the fact that women do have as much (maybe even more) protection from the law as men do. Men call it whining when women keep focusing on the words 'superiority and submissive' when thinking of marriage. It takes more for a woman to get where she is, I admit; but, with hardwork almost anything is possible. Double standards exist everywhere. Some favor men just like some favor women.

Maybe it becomes "routine" because it's still happening. And women "whine" when men focus on words like "authority" and age old standards that don't apply to the changing times. Hmmm are you referring to law abroad or law in nigeria? Because I think that most laws in nigeria are not designed to protect women as individuals. I will agree with that last bit though, the truth is that with these rigid roles in place, women and men have to play strange games to get what they want in life.

Oti o, a feminist said I'm right? Who woulda thunk it! The standards have been flexible in recent years. Women are allowed as much freedom as men where I am. Sure there is a type of glass-ceiling that prevents many women from attaining certain goals (like reaching the top at a prominent male-dominated workplace) as fast as some men, it still doesn't mean they are not allowed to do so. The women with the will to do it usually go for it no matter what obstacles are in the way. We see more and more women coming out to flaunt their independence, strength, glamour, you name it, everyday. Are you going to say that they're living in some sort of different system or that they're exceptions to the rule Huh Don't use submission in marriage as an excuse not to be flexible.

LOL, Yes, even us feminists can agree with other people . Let me make it clear once more that rb]real feminists don't hate men[/b], but we do recognize that submission is another blockade on the path to true gender equality;and I am not denying the progress that women and men have made, I never said ALL women and men were living a rigid lifestyle, but I think denying that most do is unrealistic. I have seen many women that work hard at their jobs and are still expected to fulfill their "role" as the submissive wife when they come home. Male submission is never brought up or suggested, we need to recognize that the only way that the marriage system can be saved is through compromise on both parties.

Your comments do not justify some of my responses but they propelled me to say the things I did. you see men as the enemy. The man-bashing is too much. Put a lead on it. I did challenge your ideas. Isn't that my reason for responding the way I did? I would have kept quiet, pretending it was okay but I didn't.

If my comments come off as man bashing to you then I apologize, but to deny that while m[b]en are not a superior gender ,yet they still are a dominant one [/b]is, once again, unrealistic. In the legal system, health system, work place and society in general women are constantly being bashed or mocked for it. When a woman questions authority or the "norm" people will call it "whining" or "bitching" in order to belittle our opinions, also try to note the recent beauty standards and physical and emotional strains they have been posing on women in general; then compare it to the standards that many people set for men.

I'm not a Muslim.

Here you go dissecting my post like a dead insect. Yes you began your whining a long time ago but it didn't catch my attention until now. You even whined in the post you dispatched to me. Talking about being this big bad strong whatever as if someone questioned your strength.
Why do I have to be an opressor just because I'm male. Why not get over your hunger for hatred? Feed it to those who want it.

You're not an oppressor because you're male, and when did I ever mention hating anyone?

Men have requirements for wives, wives have requirement for their men. It's double-layered but you are too biased against men to include that in your comment. I haven't come across men who demand non-reciprocated respect from their wives. Those type of men should not be sought by women who value their worthy anyways. Why would you bother pursuing a man that cannot respect you? It's not like all men refuse to respect their women. You don 't have to be a feminist to earn respect from your husband.
What about submit? Perhaps you are putting to much focus on the word that you forget that it doesn't necessarily mean you get stripped of your worth as a woman.

You're right on both men and women having different requirements for each other, but maybe I should have made myself more clear (my fault) , I was referring to the obvious standards that most men and women are limited to. Not every woman has to be a housewife and not every man has to be a bread winner. Not that I'm saying that you mentioned that but I am saying that the standard still exists and hasn't been very flexible. I'm not sure what your definition of "respect" is so I'm not going to touch those comments. You may want to try looking up the definition of a feminist because we are not all man haters, and FYI I didn't become one to earn respect, I became one because I had respect. And as for the word "submission" if was the focus of the thread! So naturally, I focused on it. And I never said that it stripped women of their worth, I was referring to the more than obvious lack of flexiblity women have in their roles due to the need to be "submissive".

Respectfully? Give me a break. There was nothing respectful about throwing men under the bus like that. You have generalized a whole lot, pouted too much, complained about men being offensive oppressors . . .
I responded to you like that for those reasons. I don't attack women or hate them, but I have a problem with women who think all men are woman-haters.

Again, I never mentioned anything about hating men. I was responding only to what I read and why are you pretending like my comments justify your responses? I would have understood if you have said something that actually challenged my idea , but that whole "feminists want to be men" bullshit is tired, old and over played. And I'm sure you don't attack or hate women, just the ones that challenge your ideas, right?

If you could actually put together some rather intelligent points instead of disbursing fallacious strawmans all over your post, then maybe you could be worth having an argument with. Everything else so far has been speculations turned into name calling. Your emotions are causing you to crumble

Wow, strange words from someone who reccomended a sex change to some one he doesn't know.

I have made my points, your choice to ignore them is not my fault or my problem.

"Emotions" eh? another generalization. You're not emotional for insulting me but I'm emotional for having an opinion?

I don't understand if you really do have an opinion and you think that it's superior to mine in some way then prove it. I'm always open to new ideas.

Strong ko, weak ni. Weak is probably more appropriate, otherwise you wouldn't be whining so much about the structure of marriage.

"Whining?". Because, I have noticed a reoccurring trend that has preyed on women for quite some time? Right. Kind of like how black people were "whining" about slavery and segregation. The oppressor always finds it easy to ignore the obvious.

I don't think I have met too many men who jump into marriage with a mindset that their will become their loveslave.

It's not as obvious as you think it might be, are you telling me that you have never met a man that has had "requirements" for a wife? Or has demanding non reciprocated respect from his wife? This thread was not titled " why do most educated women have no respect?" the key word was submit. And I only respond to what I think pertains to the issue, instead of going off into some sexist jargon.

Next thing you know you begin calling me a woman hater just because I refuse to share your shallow ideas

No, I'm calling you a woman hater because when I respectfully described an opposing opinion, you opted NOT to stick to the issue but to make an offensive generalization, which reveals your thoughts on any other woman who does so.

i'm not even talking about all of what you are mentioning. the main thing is respect from both person. women should respect their husband and vice versa. no one should be a slave to no one.

if i start disecting your post, it's going to lead me into another subject so i just going to leave it at that

It seems I have misunderstood you then, and I apologize. I agree, mutual respect is very important in ANY relationship.

, and what subject would that be?

naija_diva what makes you think you will change the feminist's mind. if you feminists want so badly to be men why not replace your cunts with balls and a Dick?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

*wipes tear*

Wow. Because I am strong, smart and aware of my surroundings I "want to be a man?".
You really think your "power" is in your penis? Again, Wow.
Your language choice reveal not only your lack of intelligence, but your hatred of women.


I'm guessing gay or a pedophile maybe?

Gay men don't hate women (usually) but the simply don't want them.
And pedophiles can't deal with the reality of a real woman unless she is some easy to manipulate Bleep doll, so they Bleep children instead, like easy women all you need to get them is a little candy and some razzle-dazzle.

some women feel that just because they are educated and have a good job, they don't have to listen to anyone including their husband and sometimes they don't respect them. some of them act as if they are waiting for a divorce just so that they can "prove" that they are capable of doing things on their own.

Uhm, why would a self-sufficient human being "have" to listen to "anyone including their husbands" What's wrong with a woman who can form and use her own thoughts and ideas? I understand acknowledging a mutual respect between partners, but why is it that women are always perceived as the wind beneath men's wings? Why not mention the lack of respect most men have for women? or is that "different"? And as for women who are "waiting for a divorce" , most of the women that ask for divorces have plainly had enough of that man's bullshit and know that they can make it on their own, if need be, it certainly is better than the mistreated wife who won't get a divorce because she is not sure how she will feed.

Gay and Church do not belong in the same sentence.

I agree, since gay people are a peaceful minority that have no effect on anyone but themselves.

While Christian church goers are generally misogynist, hypocritical, elitist, sexist , conformist bullies, that love power and dominance more then they do their beloved sky "god".

But they need a shroud right now, and if they have to go to church to be recognized then hey,

[b]someone pass the wine [/b]

because women these days have that stupid "independent woman" mentality.

"Stupid"? How so, if you don't mind my asking?

@ poster

the one's that expect money are your gold diggers


Quote from: Feministic on Today at 04:34:49 AM
Might be the same reason most men expect women to have sex with them before they decided they are "ready to commit". Everyone has their currency, I guess.

and those are just your man LovePeddler.

I would love to think things were that simple

R u good yourself?let be sincere its what sow u reap. Ask yourself if you're good,because u wil always meet your kind of person anytime on matter hw u tryin 2 run away 4m it.u most ve been bad 2 Guys before,

Wow.

My eyes are watering from the steam emitting from that bullshit.

If you really have delusions of a "treat me well and I'll treat you well" world then you are either a liar, a fool or (most likely) both.

Men in Africa (and in general) are given very muddled messages about women, and with these messages comes a lack of respect. In Nigeria we are usually seen as "only women" and our power is either undermined or used to mock us. While I'm not personally a huge advocate for monogamy, I am an advocate for respect, especially among equals in relationships. If you are willing to surrender your sexual freedom to him then why is it seen as such a big deal for him to do the same?! And why are our only options to accept it or to "stop whining" and date others?

Hmmm maybe there is hope for us.

Kudos to the Rev for his bravery, he is a true pioneer.
Maybe one day everyone will be allowed to be themselves, without the shroud of religion.

-Feministic

is it all about how much the guy can spend or they can squeez out of Him, I don't want to believe all girls are the same , let me hear your view on this issue , for or against, please no rude words when commenting and keep it civil please if you are interested

Might be the same reason most men expect women to have sex with them before they decided they are "ready to commit". Everyone has their currency, I guess.

I think adding ", for ladies" on number 2 is redundant since all of these bills seems to be targeted towards women.
I just don't see why women have to be denied the right to dress as they like, because some people (*cough cough* men and nosy people)
can't control their boners and criticism.

Wow. If most men didn't already have an aura of stupidity around them, I would be shocked by this post.

First of all, you used a grammatical error to question educated women. ( I could probably stop right here, )

Second of all, your more than obvious opinion of "educated women" is an even more obvious reflection of your own insecurities. Since most women I know

still find ways to lose their self-respect in their man, I'm going to assume that you are talking about women that actually demand to be treated like human

beings (since, if you didn't know, that is what we are, human beings, you may want to write that down). Not every woman wants to leave her father's

house to live with another man that wants to treat her like a child (plus the sexual activity of course, cause what good is a wife without her "fuckability",

right?); not every woman wants to have children; not every woman can cook and clean or even wants to know; not every woman is going to let another

person control her destiny. Women are slowly taking their lives into their hands and as usual, since most men are unwilling to deal with the solution, we

are now "becoming our own problem".

Don't you think that if you were truly her "superior" she would have an easier time of submitting to you?
or and even better question:
Don't you think that if you had self-respect, you wouldn't have to get it from another person's submission?

- Feministic

Hmmm I think I may be the first person actually answering the question,
After three pages, that is pretty pathetic.

Personal Opinion: I think that as long as you have breath in your body and money in your pocket, your marriage should be your choice.
Your family members (as much as Nigerians tend to deny, despite proof of this time and time again) are only people. They can make mistakes in
judgment and this can cause you to make choices that will affect you and only you when for the rest of your life! You have to think of your self first, only and always, a man is a person and can leave anytime he wants to, many women have been crushed by the trust that they put in men.
I'm not sure why that " before you're married you're family is first and after you're married you're husband is first" bullshit seems to be supported so much in this thread as for the hateful homophobia, but then again, you can't expect everyone to use their brains or freewill.

-Feministic