Welcome, Guest: Register On Nairaland / LOGIN! / Trending / Recent / New
Stats: 3,159,153 members, 7,838,941 topics. Date: Friday, 24 May 2024 at 11:30 AM

FlackoFlint's Posts

Nairaland Forum / FlackoFlint's Profile / FlackoFlint's Posts

(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (of 7 pages)

Phones / Re: Best Keyboard For Android by flackoFlint(m): 8:57am On Oct 16, 2017
Kelklein:
I guess this what you are looking for

TouchPal keyboard premium

It has a 3D mechanical keyboard looking like a desktop
oga you dey watch porn

1 Like

Celebrities / Re: African women should bow to their husbands because they aren't equal -Oga Bello by flackoFlint(m): 6:57am On Oct 11, 2017
Ftc.....person below is drunk
Romance / Re: Ladies If You Were To Ask A Guy Out, What Lines Or Moves Would You Make? by flackoFlint(m): 9:14am On Sep 19, 2017
Evaberry:
Ladies take this advise seriously


1. DONT ever ask a guy out


2. Don't ever tell a guy you love/like him.


Asking a guy out never ends well
they would have taken it seriously if you had spelt advice correctly
Sports / Re: Cristiano Ronaldo Buys Ferrari F12 (Photo) by flackoFlint(m): 9:38am On Sep 07, 2017
Evaberry:

CR7



The only man that gets me wet without seeing or touching me.


A real man among Men

Celebrities / Re: Photos: Korede Bello & Emir Of Kano’s Son, Go Horse Riding by flackoFlint(m): 2:15pm On Sep 06, 2017
Neminc:
Korede bello will soon take revenge for what the Gambari's did to the people of Ilorin by taking over the emir of Kano's throne. He will then abolish Islam and introduce the worship of Ogun in the entire northern states. Ride on Korede, Our Undercover warrior
sense is needful

Politics / Re: Usman Danbabo Dies After Robbers Attacked Him (Photos) by flackoFlint(m): 8:35pm On May 11, 2017
northvietnam:



OK now you are sounding like a gentleman.. and I will reply u like one...

I have this hate for Nigerian police cuz I have seen and experienced enough of their menace..

Imagine locking up a pregnant woman... cuz she refused to drop 20 naira and started blowing grammar....

I don't know the woman but I had to follow the police van to their station...

Let me stop here...

My cousin sister that is a legal practitioner...
if she seats you down now with police mess..
you will never pity a police man...

talking about knowing you...
brother no body is a begger.

Sorry about bringing your father in...
give me your number please
Politics / Re: Usman Danbabo Dies After Robbers Attacked Him (Photos) by flackoFlint(m): 4:00pm On May 11, 2017
northvietnam:




May all the police injustice and senseless killing of innocent citizens be the portion of ur family
IJN....

just say Amen....


mean while I'm as useless as your fat..her

You can never be like my Dad... P.O.C..... Just be Wise that's what am saying... Northvietnam you wouldn't know who you talking to... Just be wise and play safe
Politics / Re: Usman Danbabo Dies After Robbers Attacked Him (Photos) by flackoFlint(m): 7:59am On May 11, 2017
northvietnam:
Nice one...


Police ain't your friend


Live by the gun, Die by the gun....


Only Nigerian police can cause Accident cuz of 20 naira...

Modified...


Only those that are product of 20 naira extortion will quote ME...
look at this useless Human being.. You are very stupid... Someone's dad, husband, brother died and you have the nerve to say nice one.. I wont wish this on your family but you need to know that you are very stupid... Useless boy.... You are mentally unstable... This are the same people that fight to make your society a crime free place and you are here saying rubbish... God will punish your insane mind.. Fool
Celebrities / Re: Uche Maduagwu Blasts Bbnaija Housemates by flackoFlint(m): 10:01am On Feb 20, 2017
Noted
Celebrities / Just Click And You'll Be Glad by flackoFlint(m): 9:01am On Jan 29, 2017
Happy Sunday
Celebrities / Re: Naughty Cossy Orjiakor Reveals Her Biggest 'asset' - Not What You Expected! by flackoFlint(m): 12:33pm On Jan 11, 2017
LA click LA bend
Celebrities / Re: Davido Not Coolest Kid In Africa by flackoFlint(m): 2:21pm On Jan 05, 2017
The person below me has something meaningful to say
Nairaland / General / Re: Edible Items Placed On A White Handkerchief On The Road: What Could This Be? by flackoFlint(m): 5:40pm On Nov 30, 2016
This is what Yoruba call sacrifice... Eboo
Career / Re: Lady Who Does Fixing Of P.O.P For A Living Shares Powerful Message (Photos) by flackoFlint(m): 1:59pm On Sep 29, 2016
crazygod:
Cute hardworking Ijaw girl.
my guy don sharply corner her say na ijaw girl... How you take know grin
crazygod:
Cute hardworking Ijaw girl.
my guy don sharply corner her say na ijaw girl... How you take know
Celebrities / Re: Why Will A Maid Of Honour Be Doing This On The Wedding Day ? (photo) by flackoFlint(m): 7:11am On Sep 28, 2016
You guys are talking as if you ain't got emotions... She's probably feeling happy that her friend is gonna leave her and get married... So Simple smileyYou guys are talking as if you ain't got emotions... She's probably feeling happy that her friend is gonna leave her and get married... So Simple
Celebrities / Re: You Won’t Believe How This Newly Wedded Husband Grabs Wife’s Bum In Wedding Pics by flackoFlint(m): 8:05am On Sep 25, 2016
Make hin flex hin thing na
Celebrities / Re: Toyin Lawani And Her Kids Steps Out In Matching Outfits (pics) by flackoFlint(m): 6:38pm On Aug 31, 2016
kenonze:
You spend money that you don't have
to buy things that u don't need
To impress people that you don't love
what is this guy saying
kenonze:
You spend money that you don't have
to buy things that u don't need
To impress people that you don't love
kenonze:
You spend money that you don't have
to buy things that u don't need
To impress people that you don't love
what is this guy saying
Events / Re: See What This Bride Wore On Her Wedding Day (pics) by flackoFlint(m): 7:13pm On Aug 29, 2016
Gflat:
She is a Muslim. Those ones that hide their face from the rest of the world. See them looking like a turtle ninja grin

I don't know why they went ahead to take photos when it's obvious her face is not going to show. How will you even know it's your wife that's behind that cloth? Muslims ehn grin

What the hell is this guy below me saying? So wearing suits for a wedding is not from the western world right

Some people will just be trying to sound intelligent thereby making a fool of themselves undecided

... It's not necessarily a must that you comment..it's a free world. You shouldn't be putting groundnut in another person's Garri.....thank God you know she is a Muslim, and hope you understand something before you take your big hand and start typing irrelevant things... Mtcheww
Phones / I Need To Know How I Can Get A Tecno Droi Pad Screen by flackoFlint(m): 10:12am On Aug 10, 2016
[color=#000000][/color]... My tab has been having a screen problem, any suggestion on how I can fix it
Phones / Re: Nigeria’s Internet Users Reduce By 81,415 – NCC by flackoFlint(m): 11:20pm On Aug 04, 2016
Exam time don reach now, why them no go reduce :DExam time don reach now, why them no go reduce
Literature / Re: The President's Daughter And I (season 2) By Victvames by flackoFlint(m): 7:30pm On Jul 31, 2016
victvames:
Guys i am afraid to say that my laptop's charger got spoiled.... So bear with me guys... Happy Sunday!
...
Shaperly please
Celebrities / Re: Stormrex Shares Backstage Pictures From Top Stars Concert Sacramento, California by flackoFlint(m): 7:53pm On Jun 21, 2016
Who she epp
Literature / Re: My Life In Secondary School by flackoFlint(m): 8:51am On Jun 11, 2016
Bro... Where the rest... This is not the change we talking of o
Celebrities / Re: Go For Tour This Year And I Will Divorce You, Kim Tells Kanye by flackoFlint(m): 11:29am On May 28, 2016
Jamolo na your brother
Family / Re: 5 Things Only Those Born With A Wooden Spoon Understand! by flackoFlint(m): 7:25am On May 25, 2016
Ksslib:
In today's world where riches happen to be the quickest way to gain respect and enjoy life to the fullest, it is no surprise that if given the chance, everyone would rather they were born with a silver spoon. But life being the biitch she has aways been, happens to have this criteria we still dont know about, she uses to distribute her "silver spoon" to a select few,while the rest, share what's left of the proverbial "wooden spoon". And there are certain things, those,whose family, at a point, every wielded a "wooden spoon" can identify with: things like


1.. YOU LEARN TO RESPECT HOUSEHOLD ITEMS!
I, ksslib, happen to be the first child my parents brought into this world, but it's really painful, having been denied the earned right to bask in the euphoria of being the eldest child in the family, no thanks to my brothers(mostly pre civil war furniture and utensils) littered all over the house that, my parents, especially mother, annoyingly holds dear to heart. I remember how if in a fit of anger, I mistakenly kicked the rusted blue cupboard, she would be quick to remind me of why I shouldn't be rude to my elder brother, who happens to be 23yrs my senior. How i would look at it with scorn "So at this age, you still dey ur papa house"? "You no dey marry"?

We had this black pot, whose back, we didn't bother washing again, after constant fire wood usage made it pretty clear that, some scars are just meant to be. And as if to wave off any misconceptions, the "stone-age" aroma the pot always made a conscuious effort to fill every food cooked in it with, didnt need remind me of who, once again, was the boss....the message was pretty clear... Or Is it the "ancient of days" vintage cushion that would not hesitate to pierce ya with it's wooden lethal teeth, strategically hidden where one is supposed to sit? Reminding you that, a small boy like you is only allowed to sit on an elder with one nyash, the other, suspended in mid-air as a sign of respect. Age, they say, is just a number, but certainly not between I and my Bro's.

2.. WHEN WE ATE, WE ATE BIG!
My mother could use one sachet of milo, half tea spoon of cowbell to make tea off lake chad. And before you accuse my mother of using too much milk, I should let you know that, our neighbour, mama ochuko, could use the same resources as my mum, to make tea out of the Atlantic ocean. I know what you are thinking right now: "Isn't that a whole lot ot tea"? . But wait and watch how just one dip from the saccharine coated bread reduces the ocean to a mere river. While the next, reduces it to a canal. And the next thing you ll be hearing is "I never belle full"..

Dont even get me started with how we soak garri. Look, when things are not going too well for the family, you ll learn how to soak two cups of garri with 50litres gallon of water. There was this day my little cousin wept bitterly after he couldn't locate his two piece of groundnut that went rogue within the vase expanse of the garri ocean. We had to involve the Navy to deliver them safely, avoiding what could have propelled a potential loss of human lives. This was a boy who could dip his bare hand in a 200 degree hot fire just to remove roasted yam when hungry, so who are you to blame me for involving the military?


3.. NOTHING GETS THROWN AWAY...NOTHING!
Being poor comes with alot of disadvantages, but one of the few advantages lies there-in the fact that it awakens that creativity buried deep within. Such creativity where, a sachet of used tomato paste could get incorporated into the interior decor of the living room so brilliantly that even an x-ray scan cannot reveal which half of the red curtain is patched with strictly Gino.
Every single item had an alternate use, one of the reasons why I personally made sure no shoe of mine or mother's got thrown away. The old shoes were used as spare parts by yours faithfully, to rejuvenate current dying shoes. I had this black shoe, whose nose, I patched with a red leather from one of my mum's dead high heel, while the back, had a touch of yellow-blue i cut out from an old easy wear of, you gussed right--mother's. Afterall, even Joseph had a coat of many colours and everyone was ok with it... Seventy percent of my jean trousers back then, transformed into rugged jeans as a sign of protest when i didn't want to let go, so you could say even my fashion sense back then, was ahead of its time. And somebody should tell Kanye west to stop making noise about his Yezus cloth line because no be today boys begin wear rag....it haff teyed.

Enough about my creativity, mother was creative too. She made sure all used yellow custard containers were littered everywhere, serving different purposes like... what we used to pour water on the body, keep toothbrush, keep sponge, keep soap,drink water, drink akamu, store maggi, salt, pepper, crayfish. .. and in no time, our house began looking like a chemistry lab.

4.. YOU GROW IN YOUR CLOTHING!
While rich kids were rocking body- hugs and slim fitted clothing, we the poor kids, were always clothed in what i would describe as a typical "clown attire". I was kind of stubborn when growing up, so you would understand why even after several warnings and pleas from mother, I couldn't stop visiting the bush with friends, to jump from high altitudes after school hours. I came from school this faithful day and when I was introduced to my to be christmas shirt, then and there, i truly understand how much mother loved me. She bought me a Parachute sized multi-purpose T-shirt i could also be using to jump from high altitudes, safely. Not only was the T-shirt resisting air when i wore it, i also came to realise it was resisting motion too, when i tried walking..

The jeans wasnt any better,infact when I saw it, I thought it was my dad's. The waist alone was four times my belly but mother assured me it wasn't going to be an issue at all when she unveiled my Christmas belt that looked longer than a laptop cable. And With the help of neighbours, we were able to fold it 32 times before it sized my length, with each folding measuring 6 feet long.
Now, if there is one fashion item I have a very strong conviction that all poor parents secretly agree on,then it has to be the goddamn shoes. Your mum brings out this fine shoe, you eagerly put in those tiny legs, only to start weeping bitterly when your whole leg gets swallowed at the shoe-lace boundary, realising there is still enough room for another leg just right in front of your toe. Who also remembers how running away from knock-outs on Christmas day was out of the question because, though the spirit is willing, the shoe is weak.
Apparently, the philosophy behind poor people buying over-sized fashion items for their kids lies on the sole fact that "the kids can wear them for as many years till they become adults and marry", thereby saving cost... . Isn't that genius?

5.. WHEN WE PLAYED, WE "PLAYED" TO KILL!
When I was just seven years old, I had fully developed a set of skills and savagery that qualified me for the position of Leuitenant in the Nigerian army. We were so young, yet I & my gang of carefully selected comrades could effortlessly wipe out boko haram, so far the Government was ready to supply enough rubber bands and paper( which we used as bullet,i kid you not.
While our mates were busy playing with fancy toys and the likes, we were out in the dark,crawling in the shadows bare-bellied, stretching rubber bands and aiming with deadly precision that would no doubt leave even a seasoned sniper in envy. A touch from one bullet is all you need to realise that, it only takes the right amount of folding to metamophorize a harmless paper into a weapon of mass destruction.

There was also this football game we called "Opio"(the kpako name for "nut-meg" ) where, if the ball passes between your legs, you ll be spared from mass beating only, and only if, you touch a specific wall. Easy right? Well, what you fail to realise here,is that, touching this wall unscathed, is almost IMPOSSIBLE, as it is well guarded by people who will make sure you lose either a limb or tooth before you get within 2feet of the wall peremeter. Had one of the "wall security" guarded the cell Micheal Scofiled was dumped in, he would have still been there to this day. So you can understand why after I was "nut-megged", I ran for my dear life with just pant,no shirt and no slippers, while the people I called "friends" chased me bare-footed to the border between Ghana and Contonou.

Source:ksslib

(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (of 7 pages)

(Go Up)

Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health
religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket

Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10)

Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 52
Disclaimer: Every Nairaland member is solely responsible for anything that he/she posts or uploads on Nairaland.