₦airaland Forum

Orphaned, lost two good friends recently. Though working in an office but contemplating resigning. Please I think I need help at the moment. Closer to God more than before, listening to gospel music. Always thinking of the past please what do I do? Im an introvert who hardly discuss my problems.... I don't even have friends.

Well i have come to update this thread. The lady came registered her in lesson which she took for granted. go today, tomorrow she will tell you she is not going. Started making bad friends for just the short period she stayed. She came with tattered clothes and rags as pants. Got new sets for her. A big tin of milk i get she will finish it within two days. note this is something she cannot even eat at home. I talk and talk, shout, advice but she wouldnt listen. She will say im sorry ma i will say no problem this is food you can eat as much as you want but please food must not waste people are hungry outside...The people around even noticed her misbehaving and adviced me. well me i pity people a lot. After one Month she stayed, hubby told her she is going back home she was crying didnt want to go again. Begging to stay back as for me, my mind was made up. Baby is doing well in creche and since she left, her mum only called me once to say thank you that her daughter is refreshed...the girl in question is not smart to even carry phone to call me and say thank you ma. Anyways all i did was for God i didnt do anything in order to get help in return. It is God that rewards.....

I asked her why she want to stay back she said her mum always tell her no money and that to eat is a problem. well i had pity on her but my pity should not put me in trouble. she is better off with her parents, she is young and will decide on her own when she grows up. In all, i say thank you Jesus...

Pavona18:
Couples should bond together before bringing in a third party into the home.It's better for you to leave the girl with her parents or else she may end up leaking your family secrets to extended family members.

Thanks...

babythug:
She's young and won't suit your purpose in terms of helping with baby and house chores especially if shes going to attend school too.

Your instincts are likely to be right about taking her in. Don't let your husband pressure you into what you're not comfortable doing .

Well i have come to update this thread after a year. The lady came registered her in lesson which she took for granted. go today, tomorrow she will tell you she is not going. Started making bad friends for just the short period she stayed. She came with tattered clothes and rags as pants. Got new sets for her. A big tin of milk i get she will finish it within two days. note this is something she cannot even eat at home. I talk and talk, shout, advice but she wouldnt listen. She will say im sorry ma i will say no problem this is food you can eat as much as you want but please food must not waste people are hungry outside...The people around even noticed her misbehaving and adviced me. well me i pity people a lot. After one Month she stayed, hubby told her she is going back home she was crying didnt want to go again. Begging to stay back as for me, my mind was made up. Baby is doing well in creche and since she left, her mum only called me once to say thank you that her daughter is refreshed...the girl in question is not smart to even carry phone to call me and say thank you ma. Anyways all i did was for God i didnt do anything in order to get help in return. It is God that rewards.....

I asked her why she want to stay back she said her mum always tell her no money and that to eat is a problem. well i had pity on her but my pity should not put me in trouble. she is better off with her parents, she is young and will decide on her own when she grows up. In all, i say thank you Jesus...

Acidosis:
My God. What are you still waiting for, madam? She's your husband's niece for crying out loud. Why is this discussion still at the stage of deliberation? Please send me your hubby's contact, I need to tell him something.

Lol you mean i should allow her stay?

ImaIma1:
If you want to take her in, treat her like your younger sister. Don't leave all the work for her. Be involved in the chores too.

If she were your sister, you could probably leave all the chores and cross your legs. But you need to be more mindful with in-laws so that it won't be taken as slavery.

Always talk to your husband about any issues. Tell him your concerns about her coming to stay. So that if it turns out badly, he would know you mentioned it.

The decision about taking her in still lies with you and your husband.

Thanks Maam

nairalandposter:
You can allow her to stay with her parents while paying her and/or her siblings' school fees/training .

Since you mentioned their major problem is finances.

Hire a house help from outside should you need one.

Ok Maam thanks.

ImaIma1:
If you want to take her in, treat her like your younger sister. Don't leave all the work for her. Be involved on the chores too.

If she were your sister, you could probably leave all the chores and cross your legs. But you need to be more mindful with in-laws so that it won't be taken as slavery.

Always talk to your husband about any issues. Tell him your concerns about her coming to stay. So that if it turns out badly, he would know you mentioned it.

The decision about taking her in still lies with you and your husband.

Ok maam thanks.

LadySarah:
Yesoo,i Dont want to type epistle If not You will close this matter but for inlaws sake,let her come.Do your best as If She is Yours (Its difficult but possible )and let your Dh be the one to compain.When he starts Dont put mouthoo until he says i Dont want again.

My former who was fourteen swept House Once in a week,would give My kids food with unwashed plates from the sink so he wont wash plenty.Put them in a potty that poo was in ,just yo stay with them from 3pm-5pm.after School hrs till when i Come back.If i list items broken/destroyed You will cry for me.Its Their age and Very normal for it to happen.

It was Dh that said he was tired.He went to School from day one to the week he left and Unless i told you,looked not differnt from My kids cos he is blood.The day he left he cried but My mind was up and i didnt want to flog anybody's child.

Now My kids are 3;4,2 and 6 wk old, we have nobody and we are happy. .For 6 mths now,My House has had calm sweet calm

Hmnn

PoliteActivist:
So, what do u have against lalasticlala

PoliteActivist:
We see father/daughter on NL all the time

Lol you are right. But he is not the type...

LadySarah:
She is young pls.At first it will be sweet then when it starts getting sour,You will regret.Those three things You mentioned means nothing to You but at her age,Its a burden.

Hmm,i really wish You watched your home yourself.Why do You really need her since your baby stays at the creche.While coming back You bring him,do ur chores and Go to sleep,cook bulk on weekends and let Dh help You while he can.

But If he insistsooo,let her come.when the childishness starts irritating both of you,You will Come and tell us .

Hmnn...

PoliteActivist:
Be sure your husband is not the type

Hmnn on his neice again?

PoliteActivist:
Let her stay but treat her well, don't beat her, also be sure of your husband

What do you mean by be sure of your husband?

Dear All please i am here again to seek your opinion as i dont have any friend. It is only this forum i have.
Remember sometime last year i created a topic this is the thread.
https://www.nairaland.com/4728173/need-advice-experienced-wives-mothers/6#71918935

Now, the girl in question is back again. She is actually 13 and is seriously pleading that she would love to stay with me. I must be very honest here she is well brought up, can wash plates, clean the flat without being told and even baby sit. Hubby is even considering we put her in school. since shelter and feeding will not be a problem. The only thing i fear is issues from in-Laws and monitoring spirits. I dont want the good i do to be used against me later. I have been praying to my God to order my steps and tell me what to do.Meanwhile, my child is in daycare I have just two weeks to decide if she should stay or not. Dear all, please what is your suggestion? Thanks

Cc. mylove4him
Carammel
Janelle08
Acidiosis
ImaIma1
cococandy
TonyeBarcanista
lalasticlala