₦airaland Forum

Klass99:
Based on what you said here and what you know, why don't you advocate for your cousin, speak up for her and share what you know with both families or maybe just her family alone.

Explain calmly and in a logical manner, citing the time/date when you first became aware of the incest, if possible get the pastor she initially confessed to involved as well to support her. In the mouth of two witnesses a thing is established.

If I were your cousin I would try hard to make my case and afterwards sever ties with both families, move to a new location and start a new life. I say this because at 16 most of us (both male and female) were young and stupid, we didn't know better but her own parents failed by sending her away. Her aunty also failed by forcing an abortion then putting a male and female teenager together in one room.

Her aunty is extremely stupid for that living arrangement, including the parents who couldn't guide nor help a young and naive child in one of her worse moments. When I say motherhood and fatherhood is not for everyone some dimwits still love to argue the point. Parenting goes beyond straffing to procreate children, when will some people understand this?

With time people may soon learn that the boy lied. I am sure even the parents of the wayward boy know deep down in their hearts that their child is lying, given his past and current lifestyle. But welcome to our crazy world where most parents think their child is a saint who can do no wrong.

Very insightful take, thanks.

This is me sending your message to her

Klass99:
I believe the girl and not because she is female like me. I believe her because the truth is always consistent - twice her story was the same and it never changed, when she first confessed to the pastor and later confided in her cousin. When people lie their tales are often inconsistent, they say one thing today and another thing tomorrow but that hasn't been the case with this girl.

I also believe her because I know numerous male children like the one in this story - they start misbehaving at a young age, experimenting with drugs, alcohol, sex and in extreme cases blending into cults. They can't keep up with school, are very good at lying, stealing and other atrocities. Boys and men in general have a physical strength we cannot match, so how exactly did a teenage girl rape a teenage boy who was already into drugs? Did she punch him and hold him down like male rapists do? Why didn't the idiot shout for help if he was really being raped? Or was he passed out from a drug overdose during the rape? If yes, then he wouldn't have known he was raped na.

Teenage pregnancy doesn't necessarily mean a girl is a wayward slut. It can simply mean one major mistake/error made out of naivety, made as a result of being misled by an older person who should have used protection or shielded her from the consequences of pre-marital sex. We were once young and 16, did we know most of what we do now? Getting knocked up at 16 doesn't make her an evil person, agreeing to consensual sex with a cousin was naive/stupid but afterwards she took steps to turn her life around, while the boy has only continued in his NFA ways.

God bless you for this.


My cousin has no reason to lie. The same thing she told the pastor is what she told me.

If she wanted to protect her reputation, she could have easily lied to me that she was raped.


And she's even the one advocating for oath swearing now having shown her this thread.
Someone not sure of herself wouldn't do that.

She has gotten the guys number to confront him. His mother was there when she called, and she collected the phone from him and blocked my cousin immediately.


The mother definitely knows something

Jimbadly:
It's obvious your female cousin is the one who cajoled her cousin into having sex with her.

She's obviously a nympho. Got pregnant as a preteen by a much older guy then goes to her cousins house and they have sex. All these girls who got deflowered in their early teens are usually sex maniacs. They can't stay for long without looking for a dick to fvck. She was obviously the one that seduced the poor boy.

Jeez! I don't why this op fell for her lies. You noticed your male cousin whom share a room with is a druggie yet you didn't report to his parents? He cajoled you for sex, you didn't resist him or report him? You willingly agreed to fvck? What a lying bitch!

Op, she's lying through her teeth. I'm sure she's the who lied that the guy is into drugs, just to paint him black. The only thing that will settle this case is for you people to involve Amadioha or Ogun or Sango and she will tell the truth by force.

Her inability to defend herself shows she is as guilty as hell. Cos, if she were innocent she would have long gone to sue the boy for defamation.

She's the one advocating for oath swearing now.


Someone not sure of herself wouldn't do that.

She has gotten the guys number to confront him. His mother was there when she called, and she collected the phone from him and blocked my cousin immediately.


The mother definitely knows something

...

donhils:
You said the girl told you everything as it happened; how are you so sure she didn't embellish it to appear innocent? The guy claimed she forced him, she told you it was done by mutual consent. How did you know she didn't force him truly and lied to you that they both agreed? Manipulation is real.

If manipulation is what she wanted, she could have easily lied that she was forced and not a case of mutual consent.

Cloudflare:
Oga your story no clear! Who impregnated her before she was sent to live with her aunt in their hometown? Was it the male cousin or someone else? Because I don't understand your write up!!!!!

Who got her pregnant?

It was somebody else

ChybuzzDD:
It won't be easy, bros.

What are you going to tell them?
That both of you agreed consensually to have sex?? And you're cousins!
Even if they accept, she'll still be seen as loose and irresponsible.
And with her previous case of out-of-wedlock pregnancy, it will be very difficult for anyone not to find her guilty.

She has no solid ground to stand on, as long as it's not rape.

I think you should pray not to be in her shoes.

As female, she'd surely be deeemed irresponsible; We agree.


However, going to the length of saying she forced it is total damnation. She shouldn't let that slide

DollarSigns:
There’s a reason & why I choose to respond to you
Your comment showed either you’re not educated or you have low IQ, that you quickly resorted to gender based hate opinion of the story.
If you read the post well, you would realize that the male cousin has lost it all, frustration, waywardness has caused him to devise these great lies, especially as the female cousin is not back on track with her life.

To inform you more, the female cousin may have quickly obliged just to put herself in the good books of her host, then she may have considered it a sacrifice she paid just to get herself another chance
You don’t condemn people when you can’t share in whatever the person is going through at a particular time and sometimes it’s wisdom to watch your words before spewing it, people like you make the male gender look biased and unreasonable.
This is enough moral lessons for you on a Wednesday
Please sin no more🤝

Back to OP, I suggest the female cousin tries to get a family meeting to clear herself, where you can speak on her behalf to veto her part of the story which seems very logical and reasonable.
However should family members refuse to cooperate, I suggest she uses high level Police Officers to roughen the boy till fear is instilled into him

Her softness and cries may cause her integrity which isn’t worth sacrificing.
Everyone have sinned, there’s always another chance that’s why there’s a new day each day, another chance to correct the wrongs of the previous day

Shalom👋

Thanks for this


I understand it’s difficult to believe a female in issues such as this. There’s no denying that she messed agreeing to something like that. However, the lies the boy told should not be left unaddressed

NoToPile:
I find it funny that the incest issue is not what is even being addressed in this whole scenerio.

She says it was consensual how come the family members can't believe it was consensual.

It's easier for a female to claim she was raped than a guy doing same.

Anyway they would believe him because she was pregnant before and she is seen as the wayward one.

The guy knows what is biting him maybe the incestous act is having a negative effect on him and he knows and he feels the need to confess and blame his partner for it.

I am the one who knows/believes it was consensual.

The other family members believe it was a case of rape; they drew this conclusion from the boy’s narration

purejustice36:
Nobody believe any story from a female in most families, I know that for sure most esp when the lady is wayward or made any mistake in the past
Every judges you like they’re saints

Guy go use better soldier carry that boy first , no pity any family person if you get mind o
If you no get mind then you can allow your family to keep tormenting your cousin

They’ll torment her till she looses it , later on it’s “I’m sorry” you’ll hear

That’s the problem

Her own siblings didn’t even ask her anything. They started judging her from the guy’s narration.


I understand when something Iike this happens, it’s the female that takes the most blame. However, the lie about being forced or raped shouldn’t be swept under the carpet; it’s too damaging

MechanicMike:
brother we juss cut u lying...we no its u & we want to help u...confess & repent sir...anyways why did u do it sir?(no oofeincse)

I’ve used Nairaland long enough to know not to give people like you any audience.

Bye

torqque7:
Oga go and seat your ass down because from all you said there it shows your useless cousin is a demon and should be stoned to death..I pity her dumb fiancé who is marrying a hoe because she will still fvckkk his brother too..you are just forming useless understanding blind support when you know your cousin is evil..for the fact that someone is depressed doesn’t mean he should not laugh at funny videos so what are you saying? Stop been a simp and captain save a hoe..your cousin is a manipulative snake and you have also fallen under her venomous fangs.

She could have easily lied to me that she was forced too or raped.

But she said the truth that it was her who agreed after being cajoled to do it.

And she had told me about this stuff before everyone in the family got aware of it.

superCleanworks:
there is no where in this your story that you mentioned how your cousin denied the allegations and fought for herself just the way a wrongly accused person (especially a woman) would do. She has already nailed herself by presentation of guilt.

She tried to but no one would listen, not even her siblings. They all believed the guy’s story without bothering to hear from her.

The one who cut ties with her haven’t even heard from her before and after the incident. He just swallowed everything hook, line, and sinker. And he was crying, saying my cousin disgraced the family.

jackmrandy:
YOU ARE AN IGBO AND I BELIEVE THERE ARE TRADITIONS IN YOUR COMMUNITY WHERE YOU CAME FROM. NOW IF YOUR COUSINE KNOWS SHE IS INNOCENT OF ALL THE ACCUSATION, LET HER TELL THE ELDERS IN THE FAMILY TO SUMMON YOUR COMMUNITY DEITY BEFORE THE TWO OF THEM TO SWEAR THAT THE ACCUSATION ARE FALSE/TRUE. THATS THE ONLY WAY THIS CASE CAN BE SOLVED. BUT IF BOTH FAMILY ARE CHRISTIANS, FORGET ABOUT IT.

We’re not Igbo; both families are Christians

MechanicMike:
NIGGGGGGGGGGGA STOP LYING...U WANT HELP U TELL THE TRUTH....we no Yor cousin is u. you yansh Yor 13 year old cousin now u askin for help... PiRRRRRRRRIOD. STOP LIE...we will help u if u stop lie!!!!((no offenscce))

What are you saying?


Can you communicate in the way of humans?

RoadMozart:
Is the boy a member of your family too?

He’s a cousin to my cousin.

He’s the son of her dad’s younger sister.

My cousin’s mother is my own aunt

~~~

Now, members of the family have been calling my cousin to call her all sorts of name. They said if anything happens to the guy, she’ll be held responsible for it.


My question is,

How can you lie against someone, more so your own cousin without any remorse?

How come it’s after 8 years that you’re feeling guilty and depressed for what happened?

I’m not supporting my cousin; she deserves whatever castigations are coming her way. But is it okay to let this humongous character assassination slide?

The sad thing is nobody is interested in hearing her own side of the story; it’s the guy they believe because he spoke first. I believe my cousin because she told me about this issue back in December last year, before it became known to everybody. She could have easily lied that she was forced or raped just to save her reputation. But she confided in me and said it as it was… that it was her who agreed to it.

From what I know, this guy has been a failure and has disappointed his parents many times; he’s just playing some antics and isn’t depressed. He’s using this story to draw sympathy because no one in the family likes him due to his waywardness.

Someone they said was depressed was heard on the phone laughing to a skit when my cousin called one of her aunts explaining. The boy was there but didn’t know the aunt was on phone with my cousin. Also, my cousin doesn’t have the boy’s number and has not been allowed to speak to him and confront him for all the lies against her.


My cousin has a fiancé, but now her father’s people her saying she’s wicked that after destroying someone’s life, she wants to settle down. They’re asking her what will happen to the guy whose life she has destroyed? This girl hasn’t been herself for weeks now. She has been thrown under the bus, so much that her one elder brother has disowned her.


What do you guys suggest she does going forward?

My cousin and I have always been very close, and I’m like the only person in the family that understands her now, even though I condemn what she fell into years ago.

Someone is suggesting my cousin sue the boy, how’s that feasible? We’re talking about a family member here.
And one thing is certain; this boy will not be able to tell all these lies in the presence of my cousin if confronted.

The same boy once wrote a love letter to another of his cousins during that period, telling her that he found her attractive and would love them to he togther

Hi, guys please I need advice on what to do. It’ll be a bit lengthy, but please bear with me as I wouldn’t want people drawing conclusions without fully grasping the situation.


Back in 2015 my cousin with whom I stayed in the same city got pregnant at the age of 16. She was still in SS2 at the time, and the guy that got her pregnant was way older and a university student. It was a very disheartening news for the family, and her dad was very angry, so much that he said he didn’t want to see her with his eyes.


In just 3 days, my aunt ( her mother) made arrangement with one of her father’s sisters in their hometown for her to go stay there. That was the last time I saw her until late last year when she came back to Lagos. She worked, schooled, and generally lived her life there for over 7 years. Her dad had forgiven her when he went for a function over there in 2019. They were not talking before that.

So, the issue at hand now is that her aunt aborted
her pregnancy just within 24hrs of getting to the town, even threatened to stab her if she didn’t do as said. The aunt stayed with her husband and son who was about the same age as my cousin, and she was told that she’d be staying in the same room as the boy but in separate beds.

6 months later, it had become evident that this boy was a drug addict and smokes. My cousin kept this to herself and didn’t tell the mother. One night, when the parents had traveled, the boy approached her and cajoled her to have sex with him. My stupid cousin fell for it. She admitted that she wasn’t forced and it wasn’t rape; the boy just convinced her, which was very foolish of her. And it’s not like this had made any suggestive move before; it was the first time and you fell so foolishly.

The second day which was a Sunday
, the boy wanted the same thing, but she refused him this time having been whelmed with shame. She confessed to their pastor and was prayed for, told to never fall into such act again. This happened way back in 2016, and it was a secret until now. My cousin moved out from their house a month later to stay with another of her dad’s sisters in the same city. And that’s where she stayed and schooled from till she came back to Lagos. She and the boy have never spoken or met since she left.

Now she’s done with school and is back to her own father’s house in Lagos. Her father’s eldest sibling called recently and said the boy has been depressed for
some months now and that he said he had some confessions about he and my cousin. The aunt asked my cousin what the matter is before the boy made his confessions, but she didn’t say anything.

Unfortunately, the guy was the first to say something, and they said he has been wanting to commit suicide. But here’s the problem: the guy narrated it in a very different way; according to him,

~ My cousin forced him ( which is as good as the word “rape”)

~ He was a virgin the time and my cousin deflowered him (a huge lie, this guy had been carrying all sorts of girls before this period)

~ What she did to him has been affecting him mentally, and that’s why he’s failed academically so much that’s he’s dropped out twice

~ My cousin ruined his life


Continued below

Jahwinaboy:
200k may be too much maybe 100k but for you to advocate laying off workers shows your mental state. Instead of you to focus on lawmakers earning 38million per month( enough to pay 380 persons 100k per month)for doing absolutely nothing, you are talking trash. It's better you advocate the Civil servants sit up rather than downsizing a country's workforce marred by high unemployment rate. Werey

How many lawmakers are there in Nigeria? Una go just dey shout.

member13:
Oga, this is very simple. Send me her number and I will send a text asking her to hookup for 100K. I have done this for 4 of my friends; only 1 woman passed.

Help me do am please

SmithRussell:
You guys haven’t answered his request, you’re telling him why he shouldn’t get married.

Op, it’s not hard. It’s just a first time visit for them to see you or assess who their daughter is dating. No need for kolanut/relative/envelope. Buy wine (NOT fruit wine, but maybe low alcohol), buy fruits, and maybe bread.

Also dress well. Don’t act timid, and don’t talk too much there. Just be calm, listen more than talk. That’s all. You can go with an uncle/relative the next time when you want to collect the marriage list.

Thanks, Sir

[quote author=1234ben post=123417538][/quote]Thanks for the kind advice, I appreciate

pakingzzzzz:
Holding

Still available

farano, Rocktation, dominique, Lalasticlala


Front page, please, for more inputs

Thebadpolitican:
Am talking about when compared to your age she is too old for you

A 23yr lady is too smart for you my guy, understand that both gender live in parrel time space, consider yourself at old age she will also be too old to take care of you, allow her go, you shouldn't have thought of engagement in the first place I don't blame you you're still young the reason why


A 30yr old man marrying a 23 yr old lady is ideal not a 23-25 yr old difference

Anyway good luck with your early marriage

Shuuu! See matter o

Anyways, I appreciate the kind advice, boss.

Thebadpolitican:
Oga your 25 wetin u dey hurry for

At 25 I was still in school battling with getting
My degree

25, dating a 23yr old girl, when you're old she will be old too, who is going to take care of you

I don't see an happy ending with this your union
First you're too young, and the lady is too old for you

How’s a 23 year-old girl too old?

CrownOfClay724:
Where is your father, though?
And your older relatives.
Na their work you dey give strangers so.

Hmmm

marlow1962:
For how long will that small change in your hand take care of your family. Don't depend on that $20k in your hand, it means nothing the moment you get married.
Forget marriage now, no need to rush.

Thanks

marlow1962:
What Infrastructures do you have on ground before thinking of marriage?

Why do you need to know?

The focal point is I can take care of a family, so I’m good.

diogo23:
Why are you in a hurry? It's not a bad of rosary, my brother early love can make someone don't think properly

Brother, I nor be small pikin


I've thought it through

MrBrownJay1:
no carry the yam on your head na, lol!

bro you worry way too much about something so simple.... get one of your family member and go there to make your intentions known to them, then take it from there.

Lol

Thanks very much 😊