All your family members are mad.

The word "tricked into sex" despite knowing the family ties is giving me a thousand and one reasons to purge..

Both parties is at fault, let them deal with it without your input..

Na we be your best plug for everything Sexual enhancement tho

franchasofficia:
She should summon courage and tell them that she wants them to involve traditional oath swearing between herself and the guy or else that she would report the boy to a popular shrine to come and swear that she forced him.




This would reset their brain and believe me the guy will backtrack or confess once he hears its going the traditional way cos Nigerians fear shrines more than anything else.



Going to court cant solve it

That is the only way to go! Radical situations demands radical steps.

Physical confrontation shd do it...
He shd look her eye to eye n see the accusing words again.
And the pastor she opened up to.. shd be located as a witness...
I wish her the best....

Hmm

So naive or even stupid to have two grown ups in the same room and expect nothing to happen.

Wait o
How can your cousin cajole you to have sex with him and you stupidly agreed? Coz I don't get. It's not as if she's a baby. Oga o

the story is one kind.


so i sensed the lady is guilty because she agreed to do it. the boy is being tormented by a spirit no doubt, but this story should be solved by the pastor who prayed for her.

and you as the op who knew how the whole thing went should stand as a witness to her claim. this story you told us here now would have started something in the family. find your family whatsapp group and share all this.

Forrkke:
Now, members of the family have been calling my cousin to call her all sorts of name. They said if anything happens to the guy, she’ll be held responsible for it.


My question is,

How can you lie against someone, more so your own cousin without any remorse?

How come it’s after 8 years that you’re feeling guilty and depressed for what happened?

I’m not supporting my cousin; she deserves whatever castigations are coming her way. But is it okay to let this humongous character assassination slide?

The sad thing is nobody is interested in hearing her own side of the story; it’s the guy they believe because he spoke first. I believe my cousin because she told me about this issue back in December last year, before it became known to everybody. She could have easily lied that she was forced or raped just to save her reputation. But she confided in me and said it as it was… that it was her who agreed to it.

From what I know, this guy has been a failure and has disappointed his parents many times; he’s just playing some antics and isn’t depressed. He’s using this story to draw sympathy because no one in the family likes him due to his waywardness.

Someone they said was depressed was heard on the phone laughing to a skit when my cousin called one of her aunts explaining. The boy was there but didn’t know the aunt was on phone with my cousin. Also, my cousin doesn’t have the boy’s number and has not been allowed to speak to him and confront him for all the lies against her.


My cousin has a fiancé, but now her father’s people her saying she’s wicked that after destroying someone’s life, she wants to settle down. They’re asking her what will happen to the guy whose life she has destroyed? This girl hasn’t been herself for weeks now. She has been thrown under the bus, so much that her one elder brother has disowned her.


What do you guys suggest she does going forward?

My cousin and I have always been very close, and I’m like the only person in the family that understands her now, even though I condemn what she fell into years ago.

Someone is suggesting my cousin sue the boy, how’s that feasible? We’re talking about a family member here.
And one thing is certain; this boy will not be able to tell all these lies in the presence of my cousin if confronted.

Why can't the Elders in the Family setup a meeting & hear from both sides before apportioning blames & means to cleanse both of them of this despicable acts?

Forrkke:


She could have easily lied to me that she was forced too or raped.

But she said the truth that it was her who agreed after being cajoled to do it.

And she had told me about this stuff before everyone in the family got aware of it.

Is like you don't know women? He convinced her my foot, you should know it is all lies the moment a woman tell you she slept with a man without her consent but not a rape. From your story, I think I believe the guy more than your cousin, what would he gain by lying against a girl he beg to sleep with after 8 years.

Forrkke:


She could have easily lied to me that she was forced too or raped.

But she said the truth that it was her who agreed after being cajoled to do it.

And she had told me about this stuff before everyone in the family got aware of it.

Nobody believe any story from a female in most families, I know that for sure most esp when the lady is wayward or made any mistake in the past
Every judges you like they’re saints

Guy go use better soldier carry that boy first , no pity any family person if you get mind o
If you no get mind then you can allow your family to keep tormenting your cousin

They’ll torment her till she looses it , later on it’s “I’m sorry” you’ll hear

Forrkke:
Hi, guys please I need advice on what to do. It’ll be a bit lengthy, but please bear with me as I wouldn’t want people drawing conclusions without fully grasping the situation.


Back in 2015 my cousin with whom I stayed in the same city got pregnant at the age of 16. She was still in SS2 at the time, and the guy that got her pregnant was way older and a university student. It was a very disheartening news for the family, and her dad was very angry, so much that he said he didn’t want to see her with his eyes.


In just 3 days, my aunt ( her mother) made arrangement with one of her father’s sisters in their hometown for her to go stay there. That was the last time I saw her until late last year when she came back to Lagos. She worked, schooled, and generally lived her life there for over 7 years. Her dad had forgiven her when he went for a function over there in 2019. They were not talking before that.

So, the issue at hand now is that her aunt aborted
her pregnancy just within 24hrs of getting to the town, even threatened to stab her if she didn’t do as said. The aunt stayed with her husband and son who was about the same age as my cousin, and she was told that she’d be staying in the same room as the boy but in separate beds.

6 months later, it had become evident that this boy was a drug addict and smokes. My cousin kept this to herself and didn’t tell the mother. One night, when the parents had traveled, the boy approached her and cajoled her to have sex with him. My stupid cousin fell for it. She admitted that she wasn’t forced and it wasn’t rape; the boy just convinced her, which was very foolish of her. And it’s not like this had made any suggestive move before; it was the first time and you fell so foolishly.

The second day which was a Sunday
, the boy wanted the same thing, but she refused him this time having been whelmed with shame. She confessed to their pastor and was prayed for, told to never fall into such act again. This happened way back in 2016, and it was a secret until now. My cousin moved out from their house a month later to stay with another of her dad’s sisters in the same city. And that’s where she stayed and schooled from till she came back to Lagos. She and the boy have never spoken or met since she left.

Now she’s done with school and is back to her own father’s house in Lagos. Her father’s eldest sibling called recently and said the boy has been depressed for
some months now and that he said he had some confessions about he and my cousin. The aunt asked my cousin what the matter is before the boy made his confessions, but she didn’t say anything.

Unfortunately, the guy was the first to say something, and they said he has been wanting to commit suicide. But here’s the problem: the guy narrated it in a very different way; according to him,

~ My cousin forced him ( which is as good as the word “rape”)

~ He was a virgin the time and my cousin deflowered him (a huge lie, this guy had been carrying all sorts of girls before this period)

~ What she did to him has been affecting him mentally, and that’s why he’s failed academically so much that’s he’s dropped out twice

~ My cousin ruined his life


Continued below

Your family better run to mountain to pray for deliverance.

I can't imagine myself getting aroused looking at my cousins even if they are naked.

I observed this cousins sleeping with cousins thing is very rampant in the riverine communities.

May God help his creatures.

Forrkke:


She could have easily lied to me that she was forced too or raped.

But she said the truth that it was her who agreed after being cajoled to do it.

And she had told me about this stuff before everyone in the family got aware of it.

so are u ready to confessssss or wot?....did u do it sir?(no ooofiencse)

this is why we say the past is necessary before marriage, i will believe

both about the other story i don't know what to say

franchasofficia:
She should summon courage and tell them that she wants them to involve traditional oath swearing between herself and the guy or else that she would report the boy to a popular shrine to come and swear that she forced him.




This would reset their brain and believe me the guy will backtrack or confess once he hears its going the traditional way cos Nigerians fear shrines more than anything else.



Going to court cant solve it

I totally agree with you..
For such a person to lie out of a guiltless heart, he needs an oat from a heartless deity to end this supposed ridiculous charade he put up🙄

This is very bad

I find it funny that the incest issue is not what is even being addressed in this whole scenerio.

She says it was consensual how come the family members can't believe it was consensual.

It's easier for a female to claim she was raped than a guy doing same.

Anyway they would believe him because she was pregnant before and she is seen as the wayward one.

The guy knows what is biting him maybe the incestous act is having a negative effect on him and he knows and he feels the need to confess and blame his partner for it.

purejustice36:
Nobody believe any story from a female in most families, I know that for sure most esp when the lady is wayward or made any mistake in the past
Every judges you like they’re saints

Guy go use better soldier carry that boy first , no pity any family person if you get mind o
If you no get mind then you can allow your family to keep tormenting your cousin

They’ll torment her till she looses it , later on it’s “I’m sorry” you’ll hear

That’s the problem

Her own siblings didn’t even ask her anything. They started judging her from the guy’s narration.


I understand when something Iike this happens, it’s the female that takes the most blame. However, the lie about being forced or raped shouldn’t be swept under the carpet; it’s too damaging

Forrkke:


We’re not Igbo; both families are Christians

Look, the easy and fast way out of this is via tradition, being a Christian doesn't stop one from being conversant with her roots. If you keep forming Christianity, that pervert will walk free and your cousin will live with the stigma of a crime she never committed.

Take a bold step by involving the elders of your village/both families that you're open to oath taking in the village shrine/deity. This alone will give your cousin some soft landing such that those initially against her will begin to see reasons with her even if they refuse to take an oath. Do this and thank me later.

Forrkke:
Now, members of the family have been calling my cousin to call her all sorts of name. They said if anything happens to the guy, she’ll be held responsible for it.


My question is,

How can you lie against someone, more so your own cousin without any remorse?

How come it’s after 8 years that you’re feeling guilty and depressed for what happened?

I’m not supporting my cousin; she deserves whatever castigations are coming her way. But is it okay to let this humongous character assassination slide?

The sad thing is nobody is interested in hearing her own side of the story; it’s the guy they believe because he spoke first. I believe my cousin because she told me about this issue back in December last year, before it became known to everybody. She could have easily lied that she was forced or raped just to save her reputation. But she confided in me and said it as it was… that it was her who agreed to it.

From what I know, this guy has been a failure and has disappointed his parents many times; he’s just playing some antics and isn’t depressed. He’s using this story to draw sympathy because no one in the family likes him due to his waywardness.

Someone they said was depressed was heard on the phone laughing to a skit when my cousin called one of her aunts explaining. The boy was there but didn’t know the aunt was on phone with my cousin. Also, my cousin doesn’t have the boy’s number and has not been allowed to speak to him and confront him for all the lies against her.


My cousin has a fiancé, but now her father’s people her saying she’s wicked that after destroying someone’s life, she wants to settle down. They’re asking her what will happen to the guy whose life she has destroyed? This girl hasn’t been herself for weeks now. She has been thrown under the bus, so much that her one elder brother has disowned her.


What do you guys suggest she does going forward?

My cousin and I have always been very close, and I’m like the only person in the family that understands her now, even though I condemn what she fell into years ago.

Someone is suggesting my cousin sue the boy, how’s that feasible? We’re talking about a family member here.
And one thing is certain; this boy will not be able to tell all these lies in the presence of my cousin if confronted.

But😒😔 seriously, as a distant sibling from this our nairalanding market place, i implore you to visit a psychiatrist or a psychologist and not bring such a very sensitive issue as this to this public space.. It's ridiculously ridiculing! It's paramount that believing it isn't you in person that was involved in the act, will be difficult from anyone's point of view but nevertheless, try as much as possible to visit professionals in their offices because issues as these have blowbacks on the human person inside and usually won't end well.. But for a quick result to make the family decide fast, A Deity Is Highly Recommended! So the girl's mind can rest👍

NoToPile:
I find it funny that the incest issue is not what is even being addressed in this whole scenerio.

She says it was consensual how come the family members can't believe it was consensual.

It's easier for a female to claim she was raped than a guy doing same.

Anyway they would believe him because she was pregnant before and she is seen as the wayward one.

The guy knows what is biting him maybe the incestous act is having a negative effect on him and he knows and he feels the need to confess and blame his partner for it.

I am the one who knows/believes it was consensual.

The other family members believe it was a case of rape; they drew this conclusion from the boy’s narration

What has happened has happened!

If you /the female cousin carry on your business without giving the family further attention on the matter, things will die a natural death.

Is The male cousin demanding for compensation or what does he want now? An apology?

Pay them no mind and carry on with life

Forrkke:


She could have easily lied to me that she was forced too or raped.

But she said the truth that it was her who agreed after being cajoled to do it.

And she had told me about this stuff before everyone in the family got aware of it.

She probably seduced the boy. U already said that the boy was a drug addict. For such a drug addict who must have been under the influence of drug that very night, a seductive move/dressing by the girl must have pushed him into the act.

And for the fact that she didn't resist him shows that she knew what she was doing. Her past unwanted pregnancy record is the reason her family believed the boy's story

Forrkke:
Now, members of the family have been calling my cousin to call her all sorts of name. They said if anything happens to the guy, she’ll be held responsible for it.


My question is,

How can you lie against someone, more so your own cousin without any remorse?

How come it’s after 8 years that you’re feeling guilty and depressed for what happened?

I’m not supporting my cousin; she deserves whatever castigations are coming her way. But is it okay to let this humongous character assassination slide?

The sad thing is nobody is interested in hearing her own side of the story; it’s the guy they believe because he spoke first. I believe my cousin because she told me about this issue back in December last year, before it became known to everybody. She could have easily lied that she was forced or raped just to save her reputation. But she confided in me and said it as it was… that it was her who agreed to it.

From what I know, this guy has been a failure and has disappointed his parents many times; he’s just playing some antics and isn’t depressed. He’s using this story to draw sympathy because no one in the family likes him due to his waywardness.

Someone they said was depressed was heard on the phone laughing to a skit when my cousin called one of her aunts explaining. The boy was there but didn’t know the aunt was on phone with my cousin. Also, my cousin doesn’t have the boy’s number and has not been allowed to speak to him and confront him for all the lies against her.


My cousin has a fiancé, but now her father’s people her saying she’s wicked that after destroying someone’s life, she wants to settle down. They’re asking her what will happen to the guy whose life she has destroyed? This girl hasn’t been herself for weeks now. She has been thrown under the bus, so much that her one elder brother has disowned her.


What do you guys suggest she does going forward?

My cousin and I have always been very close, and I’m like the only person in the family that understands her now, even though I condemn what she fell into years ago.

Someone is suggesting my cousin sue the boy, how’s that feasible? We’re talking about a family member here.
And one thing is certain; this boy will not be able to tell all these lies in the presence of my cousin if confronted.

if the girl is sure that she is not guilty, she should tell them they should look for traditionalist or go and get one so both of them will take oath, if they dnt allow that to happen she should threaten them all that she is going to commit suicid since it seems they dnt want her alive..the magic will happen. Though some people av a very strong mind to the extent they can do anything to cover lies so in that situation she should be ready to disown her family too, maybe in future when the truth finally show they will start looking for her...

yemmit90:


Is like you don't know women? He convinced her my foot, you should know it is all lies the moment a woman tell you she slept with a man without her consent but not a rape. From your story, I think I believe the guy more than your cousin, what would he gain by lying against a girl he beg to sleep with after 8 years.

There’s a reason & why I choose to respond to you
Your comment showed either you’re not educated or you have low IQ, that you quickly resorted to gender based hate opinion of the story.
If you read the post well, you would realize that the male cousin has lost it all, frustration, waywardness has caused him to devise these great lies, especially as the female cousin is not back on track with her life.

To inform you more, the female cousin may have quickly obliged just to put herself in the good books of her host, then she may have considered it a sacrifice she paid just to get herself another chance
You don’t condemn people when you can’t share in whatever the person is going through at a particular time and sometimes it’s wisdom to watch your words before spewing it, people like you make the male gender look biased and unreasonable.
This is enough moral lessons for you on a Wednesday
Please sin no more🤝

Back to OP, I suggest the female cousin tries to get a family meeting to clear herself, where you can speak on her behalf to veto her part of the story which seems very logical and reasonable.
However should family members refuse to cooperate, I suggest she uses high level Police Officers to roughen the boy till fear is instilled into him

Her softness and cries may cause her integrity which isn’t worth sacrificing.
Everyone have sinned, there’s always another chance that’s why there’s a new day each day, another chance to correct the wrongs of the previous day

Shalom👋

Forrkke:
Now, members of the family have been calling my cousin to call her all sorts of name. They said if anything happens to the guy, she’ll be held responsible for it.


My question is,

How can you lie against someone, more so your own cousin without any remorse?

How come it’s after 8 years that you’re feeling guilty and depressed for what happened?

I’m not supporting my cousin; she deserves whatever castigations are coming her way. But is it okay to let this humongous character assassination slide?

The sad thing is nobody is interested in hearing her own side of the story; it’s the guy they believe because he spoke first. I believe my cousin because she told me about this issue back in December last year, before it became known to everybody. She could have easily lied that she was forced or raped just to save her reputation. But she confided in me and said it as it was… that it was her who agreed to it.

From what I know, this guy has been a failure and has disappointed his parents many times; he’s just playing some antics and isn’t depressed. He’s using this story to draw sympathy because no one in the family likes him due to his waywardness.

Someone they said was depressed was heard on the phone laughing to a skit when my cousin called one of her aunts explaining. The boy was there but didn’t know the aunt was on phone with my cousin. Also, my cousin doesn’t have the boy’s number and has not been allowed to speak to him and confront him for all the lies against her.


My cousin has a fiancé, but now her father’s people her saying she’s wicked that after destroying someone’s life, she wants to settle down. They’re asking her what will happen to the guy whose life she has destroyed? This girl hasn’t been herself for weeks now. She has been thrown under the bus, so much that her one elder brother has disowned her.


What do you guys suggest she does going forward?

My cousin and I have always been very close, and I’m like the only person in the family that understands her now, even though I condemn what she fell into years ago.

Someone is suggesting my cousin sue the boy, how’s that feasible? We’re talking about a family member here.
And one thing is certain; this boy will not be able to tell all these lies in the presence of my cousin if confronted.

You don't know what happened. You were not there

So sorry for the trauma.

I think the elders are getting it all wrong, an incest was committed and that should be the major issue here, not who cajoled or initiated it first. Both your cousin and her cousin are both guilty. The both families should be looking for a way to appease the land or their ancestors and not playing the blame card here, that's why they are elders, we need a solution not blames here and there.

Nobody raped anybody, it was consensual

Your cousin's quietness is Golden

The both parents should be summoned to look for a solution.

That's my one cent

Forrkke:
Hi, guys please I need advice on what to do. It’ll be a bit lengthy, but please bear with me as I wouldn’t want people drawing conclusions without fully grasping the situation.


Back in 2015 my cousin with whom I stayed in the same city got pregnant at the age of 16. She was still in SS2 at the time, and the guy that got her pregnant was way older and a university student. It was a very disheartening news for the family, and her dad was very angry, so much that he said he didn’t want to see her with his eyes.


In just 3 days, my aunt ( her mother) made arrangement with one of her father’s sisters in their hometown for her to go stay there. That was the last time I saw her until late last year when she came back to Lagos. She worked, schooled, and generally lived her life there for over 7 years. Her dad had forgiven her when he went for a function over there in 2019. They were not talking before that.

So, the issue at hand now is that her aunt aborted
her pregnancy just within 24hrs of getting to the town, even threatened to stab her if she didn’t do as said. The aunt stayed with her husband and son who was about the same age as my cousin, and she was told that she’d be staying in the same room as the boy but in separate beds.

6 months later, it had become evident that this boy was a drug addict and smokes. My cousin kept this to herself and didn’t tell the mother. One night, when the parents had traveled, the boy approached her and cajoled her to have sex with him. My stupid cousin fell for it. She admitted that she wasn’t forced and it wasn’t rape; the boy just convinced her, which was very foolish of her. And it’s not like this had made any suggestive move before; it was the first time and you fell so foolishly.

The second day which was a Sunday
, the boy wanted the same thing, but she refused him this time having been whelmed with shame. She confessed to their pastor and was prayed for, told to never fall into such act again. This happened way back in 2016, and it was a secret until now. My cousin moved out from their house a month later to stay with another of her dad’s sisters in the same city. And that’s where she stayed and schooled from till she came back to Lagos. She and the boy have never spoken or met since she left.

Now she’s done with school and is back to her own father’s house in Lagos. Her father’s eldest sibling called recently and said the boy has been depressed for
some months now and that he said he had some confessions about he and my cousin. The aunt asked my cousin what the matter is before the boy made his confessions, but she didn’t say anything.

Unfortunately, the guy was the first to say something, and they said he has been wanting to commit suicide. But here’s the problem: the guy narrated it in a very different way; according to him,

~ My cousin forced him ( which is as good as the word “rape”)

~ He was a virgin the time and my cousin deflowered him (a huge lie, this guy had been carrying all sorts of girls before this period)

~ What she did to him has been affecting him mentally, and that’s why he’s failed academically so much that’s he’s dropped out twice

~ My cousin ruined his life


Continued below

She confessed to their pastor and was prayed for, told to never fall into such act again. This happened way back in 2016,

Above quote refers from your gist,

kindly contact the pastor to exonerate her.

Mehn, some.cousins are the bommmmbbbb....!!!!!!
However, I see remorse in the story, so....?!
It humans we're talking here.....
There are worse cases. So focus high, forgive yourself and your cousin and move on.

You don't want to find down the line that you're a stereotype.....

Break free starting here