₦airaland Forum

I watched with my mouth opened wide as the car came to a screeching stop and men jumped down from the car in the Bruce-Lee style but this time it was in the Naija Police style. I was shocked beyond words as they made their way towards where we were seated and without wasting much time started bundling us towards their parked car abi na Hilux. They brandished their AK's in the air while giving dose of slap after slap on the face of those who protested or even were not walking quickly to the waiting pick-up. Me? kai... I already have 2 ordeals with Policemen as a kid and wish for it not to be repeated. If a police man can administer a kid slap and even threaten to take him to an unknown destination for the sake of the kid reading the name printed on their patrol vehicle albeit wrongly, then I'm supposed to be wiser than my friends.

Naija Police love cooperation and that was what I gave to them to the core, I don't want some reddish appearance on my face abeg. I prefer those pimples that are giving me one hell of time that have those men slap wisdom into the pimples.

"Officer, na wetin we do na"

A friend of mine was just asking refusing to shut-up even though the policemen were still landing him hot slaps, slaps that sounded like knock-out.

"O boy, you no go shut-up abi you wan make them carry hot water press your body when we come back?"

Another of my friend asked.

Me? As usual I gave the policemen my maximum cooperation by remain quite as the Hilux sped through our dusty street dodging pot-holes and entering the ones it could not dodge. Such is the state of the country, the ushering of a new governor means an end to any road project that was on-going in the previous administration. Contractors too developed a new way of delaying works so as to abandon it immediately after elections.

Things have changed now sha, now with our beloveth President, Goodluck Ebele Jonathan (GCFR, GCON), Nigeria has been enjoying doses of fresh air. Even though at the beginning the fresh air was a little bit hot but right now I must say that the air is as cool as ice. I must give it to this man and every other person that is putting his energy into making sure Nigeria becomes a better place to live in. Even though I know that the Governor of Abia State is far behind, well, Theodore Orji might get there one day but not in this life time.

As the car came to a stop in front of the police station (an area command), the police men still performed the stunts of flying out of their cars but none of them cocked their guns, afterall we were not criminals and our crime had not been explained to us yet. My friends still tried to protest their being dragged into the police station and were still administered slaps, this time by fresh officers hanging around. Which police officer would not want a chance to slap the living daylight out of a youth that appeared dressed in penciled trousers with the latest sneakers adorning his feet.

Me? As usual I cooperated with the policemen, I was not gonna risk nonsen.se in their territory, I just kept quite and allowed my self to be dragged roughly into the Police station. I gave them my full cooperation, obeyed their orders and kept my face in order. The shock of our lives was waiting for us inside the station.

"Oya make una go siddon for back of counter"

The officer on duty said after scrutinizing us from our head down to our toes abi na shoes.

"But officer, we no do anything na...."

He was cut short by the same office with a slap that sounded more like a gun shot than a knock-out echoing in my own ears like I was the one that collected it. Seems Naija police were given a special course in civilian slapping and man-handling. I did the cross sign in my heart.

"Are you disobeying an officer of the Nigerian Police"

The officer barked having put all other formalities behind him. I turned to see my friend or rather what remained of his face, I was moved to pity. Here is the same law student that brags about knowing his rights and claims to have come out of the thinnest situations involving the Naija Police. Here is the same guy having a face that looked like what came out of a Psycho movie. His lips was bursted in the middle, well, to say the least, I pitied him.

"You for just keep quite, you think say you get right when you and AK jam"

I whispered into his ears while he looked at me like he wanted to strangle me. So far I was the only one that maintained a clean face. Kai!!! It pays to fully cooperate with the Nigerian Police.

"Your father nyash there, you think say I be coward like you"

The same guy replied me.

"See, you know say I get liver die but for AK them side, me, I better to die another day o"

I answered him, showing him a nice smile. I never knew my smile would be my greatest undoing, who says cooperation with the police to have limits.

"Why you dey laugh say this officer cloth don fade"

My friend spoke out to the hearing of the Police officer on duty.

"Jesus Christ!!! Why you wan put me for trouble na"

I whispered harshly this time smiling broadly never knowing that the officer that was gisting with the other officer on the other side of the counter had his eyes on me.

"Na lie, you still dey laugh ba"

He said again this time looking at the officer who was backing us.

"I no deny am say im cloth no fade but I no say am"

I replied him confidently. I knew the act of cooperating with the Police that he doesn't know. I felt I was the master of my game.

"Mr. Man, what are you saying about the Nigerian police"

The other officer shouted from across the counter. His eyes was flashing Ogogoro and Benson. I don enter but as I no talk na, my silence abi na cooperation became another undoing.

My friends were released while I was detained, spent 2 days in that bloody cell for cooperating with the Naija Police.

Till today I still ponder what our crime was.

God.... I still can remember my mother and sister massaging my joints with Essential Balm after my father succeeded in getting me out, it wasn't easy, he had to go through his friend who was a high ranking officer in another area command. I was coached on how to behave in public and address the Nigerian Police and to be candid, I still remember those lessons well.


NAIJA I HAIL THEE.