₦airaland Forum

Bobbybrwon:
You can give her a benefit of doubt


But why would you say when SHE lost our first child instead of when WE lost our first child
That phrase sounds like it's her fault not yours .

Thank you for correcting me

Mariangeles:
Na wah ooo!

So, she does not like your dad too? No wonder!
Is she first or second wife?
If I were your stepmum, I'd be wary of her though.

She has been shamed by the good fortune of your wife.

Yes she was the first wife but they were already divorced when my dad had married my step mum

joycluv:
Watch your back.
She might be the cause of the problem between you and your mom. If she's an angel as you claim, she wouldn't be in a hurry to take the place of your mother while she's still alive. Instead, she should have tried to settle whatever issue between you people.

My step mum is not the problem between my mum and I, I came to know her when I become an adult already because my mum didn't want our dad to have contact with us. She was not the cause of their divorce the reason why the divorce was because the marriage was toxic. My dad was a drunker and my mum is short tempered any time my dad drink she will battered him to the point of stabbing him in the hand.

His family had to interven because it become a matter of lif e and death and they tough if both of them stayed together one of them might ended up dead and another in prison they had to separated them. Ever since my dad had married my step mum he has never touched alcohol again he become a new person unlikely when he was married to my mum.

When I have met with my step mum I have seen everything I have wanted for my mum to be , her love towards us is not fake she really care and love us for real. Why would she settle the matter that doesn't concern her ? If my aunty who is my mum elder sister have tried to settle the matter without success do you think she will listen to my step mum ?

My mum doesn't listen to anyone she thinks she is a semi god and want everybody to abide to her rules and anyone who doesn't is her enemy. Her elder sister had attended my wedding and she has stopped talking to her and do you think someone like her deserve to be around my wife the woman she hates so much .

My wife only sin is she is the same tribe as my dad and also according to her she is ugly and will give birth to ugly kids . My babies are not ugly lol they are the most beautiful babies in the world, the annoying thing is my daughter is the carbon copy of my mum. I have been fasting and praying it is only her face she resemble that's all but not her characters because I wouldn't even to raise a child who has the same characters as my mum.

My family and I are happy to be away from her we don't want any stress my wife is a nursing mother taking care of one baby is even hard not to talk about two . Right now she need to be stress free to have the strength to take good care of the babies.

Oyiboman69:
you've not told us what led to your mother hating your wife to the extent of of wishing her dead and all you've been posting is your mother this, your mother that. How a woman will suffer and take care of a child from pregnancy to and adulthood just to reap the fruit of her rigorous labor, only to loose him to one woman in the space of just 2 to 3 years of marrying wife is heartbroken. you're now a father and your wife is now a mother.....

She hates her because she is from the same tribe as my dad. She wanted me to marry a lady from her tribe.
she also thinks she is ugly and will give birth to ugly kids.

Oyiboman69:
you've not told us what led to your mother hating your wife to the extent of of wishing her dead and all you've been posting is your mother this, your mother that. How a woman will suffer and take care of a child from pregnancy to and adulthood just to reap the fruit of her rigorous labor, only to loose him to one woman in the space of just 2 to 3 years of marrying wife is heartbroken. you're now a father and your wife is now a mother.....

She hates her because she is from the same tribe as my dad. She wanted me to marry a lady from her tribe.
she also thinks she is ugly and will give birth to ugly kids.just because she gave birth doest mean I had a happy childhood if she was a good mother then my brother wouldn't have sent me the voice message of her wishing my wife's death. You don't know what my siblings especially my brothers went through in her hands for the respect I have for her I will not mention anything about it.

The day she called she didn't apologised to me and acted like nothing had happened and do you think I should allow her around my wife just like that , when I am not even sure of her next plans? I don't think that's a good idea.

All I am trying to do is to protect my wife and children I wouldn't forgive myself if she harm any of them. It is better she stay away from them to avoid the story that touch the heart .

Achaachiko:
man, did you hear your mom say she wished your wife death or your wife told you! man up before your wife or stepmother poison your mind against your own mother.

Here is the answers to your questions.

https://www.nairaland.com/6444478/disowned-mother/10#99674934

dannex4adx:
Bro, there are some missing links in your story. You didn't state what happened between your mother and your wife/ you that she would be wishing her dead.
As for the visiting be wise about it , pray to God to direct you.

She hates her because she is from the same tribe as my dad. She wanted me to marry a lady from her tribe.
she also thinks she is ugly and will give birth to ugly kids.

Foodqueen:
Lie to her if you must. But don't allow her in your home.

If she comes, she will end up destroying the relationship u have with your wife. Finding fault in everything she does.

Modified...

I av read your other thread, meeennnn...your life is like a movie.



But am curious, did your mom attend your wedding

Thank you. She and my siblings didn't attend to my wedding but her elder sister came and she has stopped talking to her.

Solvelink:
wooh... and she is doing things better than your mum so pathetic.

Yes she is one in a million I appreciate her for everything she is doing for us.

Bluntguy:
Follow your instincts,man. Even, tell her your wife will remain there and will not be coming back anytime soon.

Thank you

Solvelink:
You choosed the right path.

Wait! You got a stepmum?

Thank you. Yes I have a stepmum

Cutehector:
Please dont invite problem. Let us learn to love people from afar.

Thank you

Bluntguy:
This is also my take.

Thank you

Romanoff:
Keep that woman far from you before she harms your wife and kids.

Thank you

My mum have never liked my wife to the extend of wishing her death when she lost our first baby and I had disowned her for saying that. So far we haven't had any contact since the incident and we are finally proud parents of twins boy and girl born in February. My stepmother have been here for us since day 1 she is in my house taking care of my wife and babies , my mum called saying that she want to come over and take care of my wife and kids and will be spending a month . I lied to her that my wife is with her sister and will let her know when she is back to the house so she can come over. To be Frank I don't want her near my wife because she doesn't likes her and I don't think she have any good plan for us. Did I do the right thing for lying to her my wife is not around or should I give her the chance to come over and see if she have truly change?

Please If you want to understand the full story go through my old threads

I knew as soon as we started dating. I had found the best woman in the world and I wasn't gonna let her get away

It will continue to spread until the device becomes completely unusable.

That is physical damage to the OLED display panel, that doesn't just occur out of the blue.

Truvel:
B4 U Disown Ur Mother. I Want To Ask U. Why Do Ur Mother Hate Ur Wife? What Could Av Prompted D Hatred?

She hates my wife because she is from the same tribe as my dad. She wanted me to marry a lady from her tribe.

she also thinks she is ugly and will give birth to ugly kids.

Thank you all so much for your advice.

My wife gave birth in November but we lost the baby 2 days after. What shocked me was when my younger brother sent me a voice message of what they had discussed about my wife and my mum was not remorseful, she said she is not happy that the baby has died she wish it was my wife that died in the process and the innocent baby lives , he recorded her without her knowledge because he didn't like what she was saying.

I immediately called her and play the voice, I taught she will be sorry for what she said, she didn't give a damn. She said she is not an hypocrite, she never like my wife and she can't pretend. I cut the phone with a broken heart even taught she never like my wife she could have at least show forget about the hatred and show her some love in this difficult situation.
My step mother has been taken care of my wife I am grateful , my mum has never bothered to call to know about her health and I haven't call her either. I disowned her. I don't hate her but I don't want nothing to do with her anymore because she is a disgrace to womanhood.

Please advice me if am I in the wrong

posted few months ago about my mum doesn’t approve of my relationship with my fiancé ,after being informed by my sister that my fiancé started staying with me she left her house and came to stay with me in a single room she actually came to chased her away .

Well after reading all your comments which I really appreciated it and I concluded that I should allow my fiancé to go and stay with her friend until my mum leaves then she could come back. My fiancé was 2 months pregnant we decided to keep it a secret until after our wedding

I have planned to meet up with her family for introduction and traditional wedding during this pandemic with a small number of family member, we want everything to be done before her stomach start showing . I didn’t tell my mom but my dad was aware of that but i didn’t tell him about the pregnancy.

My mother was so happy to see her leaving and she told me about this girl that she want me to marry , the girl is from the same tribe as her and she is from a good family etc etc . I wasn’t even concentrating on what she was saying because my mind was busy thinking about my pregnant fiancé how she would cope staying with her friend and for how long she would be there because I wasn’t sure for how long my mother would be staying with me , fortunately she left after a week and my fiancé came back three days later.

So far we have been planning to meet-up with her people which my dad had agreed but my mum has been against the decision saying if I marry her , she will disown me , she is been saying a lot of things that I am just stubborn like my father and she regretted keeping me with her after her divorce , if she knew I will turn up to be just like my father , she would have had abandoned me with my dad that she is regretting all her money that she has had spent on me etc etc , actually she curse me.

I had informed my dad about what she said to me and he said I shouldn’t listen to her , what matter is I love my fiancé and I should go ahead with the wedding that his wife ( my step mum ) will be representing my mum , have told my dad that the idea is not bad but she is alive and I think is good for me to get blessing from both of them at that point I had no other choice and opened up to my dad about the pregnancy even taught he scolded me for getting her pregnant before marriage but he was so happy at the end and accepted that we should see her family as soon as possible.

I taught maybe if I have had also told my mum about the pregnancy , she would accept my fiancé and give us her blessing because she love her grandkids a lot and an additional one would have make her more happier but I was wrong , after I had informed her about the pregnancy all she could say was she should keep the pregnancy and after giving birth DNA must be done , if I am the father of the child we will go and collect the baby from her so she could be to move on with her life. I become angry with her and I asked her as a mother herself , how would she feel if she had given birth and her baby had been taken away from her or if it happened that any of my sisters got pregnant and the guy family want nothing to do with her but they only after her baby , she said it wouldn’t happen to any of her daughters because she has trained them well , she said lots of things that my fiancé is a loose girl that she was fully aware that she never liked her but she intentionally gotten pregnant thinking that she will change her mind so she can start liking her but that will not be possible.

I become angry with her but I didn’t say anything, I left her house and called my dad and I informed her about what she said , he said I should go ahead with the wedding without her and stick to his decisions that my step mum should represent her. I don’t know if it is possible to go ahead with the wedding without my mum being involved because the way she behaves if she doesn’t want something she will stick to her decisions no matter what , and my fiancé had been crying since because she doesn’t want to end up being a single mother .

I love my fiancé and I don’t want to leave her but I am so confuse to the point of I cannot concentrate anymore because I am depressed right now . I want to go ahead and do as my dad said but I am still asking myself , If I ever go ahead and marry her without my mother blessing would I ever be happy into my marriage because I don’t want to end up a divorcee like my parents , I want to spend the rest of my life with my fiancé and nobody else. I have been thinking since And I have lost sleep because of this issue sometimes I just wished that my mother could be an easy person to accept my fiancé even if she doesn’t like her but at least she could try to accept her for the sake of her unborn innocent grandchild in her womb.

Please help a confuse brother

I will be brief with the narrative . Am 33 years old engaged to be married. I live with my fiancé in a single room ( she started living with me since February due to some issues she had with her senior sister she stayed with). We both are working , we are not financially ok just managing. My mum doesn’t like my fiancé for no reason , her reasons are , 1. my fiancé is dark skinned and ugly , she said I am a man but i looks more beautiful than my fiancé , she is worrying about her giving birth to ugly kids lol , mum preferred me marrying a fair woman like her , 2. She is not from the same tribes as her , she wants me to marry a girl from her village because she doesn’t want me to end up a divorcee like her ( my mum and dad are not from the same village , they had so many issues in the marriage that led to their separations). My mum thinks marrying her will not be a very good ideas. As for me I told my mum , I love my fiancé , she is the most beautiful woman in my eyes , she is the one I want to spend the rest of my life with . My mum not happy and still disapprove of our relationships. She was not aware that my fiancé is staying with me , it was when my younger sister cane collecting money for her school fees , she met with my fiancé and has seen some of her stuffs in the room , she went back to telling my mum. She called me shouting at me , I’m stubborn like my dad , I don’t want to listen to what she is telling me about not marrying her, she will kill me , she has said a lot , no need for me to write everything on her . Then like a week later she has came to my place with my nephew only 1 year 6 months that she want to spend time with me because she misses me , according to her she was supposed to stay for a week but with this lockdown , things did not go according to plans , it will be 3 weeks on Wednesday , the space is not even big , I have been spending the day with them and when is evening I’m squatting with friends , while I leave my mum and fiancé in the house and she had been giving my fiancé lots of problems that today she has told me , she cannot stand my mum anymore and she want to leave and go and squat with her friends , I have been begging her to stay but she refused. I really feel sorry for my fiancé , I know how manipulative and controlling my mum can be , she is the type of person that can frustrate you till you commit suicide , I don’t even want to talk about what I went through living with her , I pity my fiancé , I don’t want her to go and stay with friends , she has nobody else apart from me. My mum has 5 children and a house , I just want her to go back to her house but I don’t know how to tell her without hurting her feelings. I need help, I can’t take it anymore

No , it does not