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I Disowned My Mother - Family - Nairaland

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I Disowned My Mother by Francis609: 8:59pm On Mar 04, 2021
My wife gave birth in November but we lost the baby 2 days after. What shocked me was when my younger brother sent me a voice message of what they had discussed about my wife and my mum was not remorseful, she said she is not happy that the baby has died she wish it was my wife that died in the process and the innocent baby lives , he recorded her without her knowledge because he didn't like what she was saying.

I immediately called her and play the voice, I taught she will be sorry for what she said, she didn't give a damn. She said she is not an hypocrite, she never like my wife and she can't pretend. I cut the phone with a broken heart even taught she never like my wife she could have at least show forget about the hatred and show her some love in this difficult situation.
My step mother has been taken care of my wife I am grateful , my mum has never bothered to call to know about her health and I haven't call her either. I disowned her. I don't hate her but I don't want nothing to do with her anymore because she is a disgrace to womanhood.

Please advice me if am I in the wrong

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Re: I Disowned My Mother by Omihanifa: 9:01pm On Mar 04, 2021
You need a lot of patience and wisdom to deal with this kind issue o

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Re: I Disowned My Mother by Lyrics269: 9:11pm On Mar 04, 2021
Family palava grin

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Re: I Disowned My Mother by OlayemiAshraf(m): 9:20pm On Mar 04, 2021
I'm waiting for the elders to come and advice us on this matter

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Re: I Disowned My Mother by Righteousness2(m): 9:33pm On Mar 04, 2021
Some Mothers can be unnecessarily Stubborn and hard hearted..
Some Could be so annoying and Wicked in their attitude.
Some could even be involved in Witchcraft!
Nevertheless, as long as she is the one that carried you 9 months, she is your mother.
Do not Disown her!
What u can do for her is to Pray for her Salvation.
Also be Prayerful and Watchful!

I Decree the Healing Hands of GOD on your wife.
I Decree affliction will not rise up the Second time in the Name of JESUS..... Amen

354 Likes 25 Shares

Re: I Disowned My Mother by chatinent: 9:36pm On Mar 04, 2021
Sth is wrong somewhere.

Did she have a problem with your wife hence the sadistic remarks?

Is sth fishy you don't know?

You need to cool down and address the issue more maturely.


Disowning her is not the best thing to do.

There are numerous ways to handle any problem. You will only need patience as the fuel.

14 Likes 2 Shares

Re: I Disowned My Mother by id4sho(m): 9:36pm On Mar 04, 2021
angry
I was invited to a baby dedication, when I got there the baby was sleeping, I have to leave since the celebrant is not serious....very disrespectful.

263 Likes 22 Shares

Re: I Disowned My Mother by Nobody: 9:48pm On Mar 04, 2021
How old is ur younger brother?very childish of him.

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Re: I Disowned My Mother by LordKO(m): 9:56pm On Mar 04, 2021
It's unfortunate that your mother falls within the category of people who think that being crass, as she's citing your submission, makes her a non-hypocrite and non-pretender, while anyone who isn't crass is automatically a hypocrite or pretender to her. She's obviously not fully mentally OK, so learn not to take her seriously, thereby automatically forgiving her instantly the moment after she displays her petty attitude because she obviously can't help herself much no matter how hard she might wish to.

She's the type of person who's always against injustice and oppression not because she hates them rather she is against them/can only be caught being against them because she isn't the one/solely the one meting them out against others. Talk about one being delusionally and hypocritically disingenuous and self-absorbing.

May God grant your household the fortitude to bear the loss.

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Re: I Disowned My Mother by Nobody: 9:57pm On Mar 04, 2021
Eiya sorry,how could a mother be so cold

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Re: I Disowned My Mother by Richy4(m): 10:05pm On Mar 04, 2021
OP, I am really sorry for your lose.. I know it's hard to hear any negative stuffs around you at the moment.... But please do not do anything or say anything out of anger that you might regret tomorrow..

Please just assume everything that bites last night was mosquitoes and move on okay.. God that made it possible for your wife to conceive will do it again and give you the ones that will stay bro.. My sincere regards to your wife..

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Re: I Disowned My Mother by Nobody: 10:34pm On Mar 04, 2021
It's bad enough that she wasn't sympathetic towards your wife, but to wish her dead is quite evil. It's obvious she's got hatred towards your wife, which didn't start today, so distancing your family/keeping your wife away from her is the right thing to do. You don't need to disown her, however. Kudos to you for standing up for your wife. My condolences to you both.

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Re: I Disowned My Mother by frozen70(f): 11:17pm On Mar 04, 2021
Francis609:
My wife gave birth in November but we lost the baby 2 days after. What shocked me was when my younger brother sent me a voice message of what they had discussed about my wife and my mum was not remorseful, she said she is not happy that the baby has died she wish it was my wife that died in the process and the innocent baby lives , he recorded her without her knowledge because he didn't like what she was saying.

I immediately called her and play the voice, I taught she will be sorry for what she said, she didn't give a damn. She said she is not an hypocrite, she never like my wife and she can't pretend. I cut the phone with a broken heart even taught she never like my wife she could have at least show forget about the hatred and show her some love in this difficult situation.
My step mother has been taken care of my wife I am grateful , my mum has never bothered to call to know about her health and I haven't call her either. I disowned her. I don't hate her but I don't want nothing to do with her anymore because she is a disgrace to womanhood.

Please advice me if am I in the wrong

Don't go the way you are going about disowning her, she is not just happy you married her and she could go as far as making life miserable for you guys

You need to visit her without notice to find out why the hatred on your wife, there must be a reason

Until then before you will know if the hatred has an under tone

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Re: I Disowned My Mother by mutter(f): 11:39pm On Mar 04, 2021
First of all.. I am really sorry about you loss and the whole pain.

But do you actually realize that the real harm came from your brother!.
You ought to disown him if at all you want to disown anyone.
Your mother on receiving the news has two blows... One loosing her grandchild and two knowing the pain her son was in.
People can say allot of things in pain and shock!
I habe actually heard people say thebwishbitbwas their father that died when their mother died.
That was really very wrong of your brother.
I wonder how sorry he felt for you and how pained he was at your loss that he had the mind to tape that conversation and then go back to you to play it to you.
Was it right to confront you with that added pain?
It's obvious that your brother has no love lost for your mother!
It was very wrong of him.
When you confronted your mother on the phone what did you expect?
An apology? You know that parents aren't used to apologising and secondly her apology at that stage wouldn't have meant anything to you.
It was the will of God to take your child back home. The ways of God are not known to man.
In your pain it seems better to feel anger than hurt. I guess anger makes us feel the pain less.
But if your wife is aware of what happened she will only be hurting the more.
Please give yourself and your wife the time to heal and don't project your anger on a mother who lives you but said something stupid.
That your mother does not like your wife could have reasons..
Now you knew this all along but you omitted to correct that issue.
It is often the case that mothers are extremely jealous of loosing their sons to another woman.
May God give you the strength and wisdom to solve this issue

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Re: I Disowned My Mother by Kirkman: 11:47pm On Mar 04, 2021
Francis609, to be honest with you, I would do the same if I were in your shoes, I can't fault you in any way at all. Your mother didn't try at all, no heart felt feelings/compassion of a mother from her at all. At least she should have put her hatred aside even if it's just for once we are first humans before anything else.
I am truly sorry for your loss and know that God will make you smile in the end. It will definitely end in praise for you and your household.

17 Likes 1 Share

Re: I Disowned My Mother by Uyi168: 11:57pm On Mar 04, 2021
Bad people/bad energies, irrespective of where they are coming from need to be cut off..

U did well.

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Re: I Disowned My Mother by Francis609: 12:02am On Mar 05, 2021
Thank you all so much for your advice.

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Re: I Disowned My Mother by dollytino4real(f): 12:55am On Mar 05, 2021
u are wrong 4 saying disown her! don't go dat way it will cut short ur spiritual fruits, love n care 4 her time will heal all wounds

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Re: I Disowned My Mother by 3gpvids: 1:36am On Mar 05, 2021
id4sho:
angry
I was invited to a baby dedication, when I got there the baby was sleeping, I have to leave since the celebrant is not serious....very disrespectful.

10 Likes

Re: I Disowned My Mother by Nobody: 1:38am On Mar 05, 2021
mutter:
First of all.. I am really sorry about you loss and the whole pain.

But do you actually realize that the real harm came from your brother!.
You ought to disown him if at all you want to disown anyone.
Your mother on receiving the news has two blows... One loosing her grandchild and two knowing the pain her son was in.
People can say allot of things in pain and shock!
I habe actually heard people say the wish it was their father that died when their mother died.
That was really very wrong of your brother.
I wonder how sorry he felt for you and how pained he was at your loss that he had the mind to tape that conversation and then go back to you to play it to you.
Was it right to confront you with that added pain?
It's obvious that your brother has no love lost for your mother!
It was very wrong of him.
When you confronted your mother on the phone what did you expect?
An apology? [/b]You know that parents aren't used to apologising and secondly her apology at that stage wouldn't have meant anything to you.
It was the will of God to take your child back home. The ways of God are not known to man.
In your pain it seems better to feel anger than hurt. I guess anger makes us feel the pain less.
But if your wife is aware of what happened she will only be hurting the more.
Please give yourself and your wife the time to heal and don't project your anger on a mother who lives you but said something stupid.
That your mother does not like your wife could have reasons..
Now you knew this all along but you omitted to correct that issue.
It is often case that mothers are extremely jealous of loosing their sons to another woman.
May God give you the strength and wisdom to solve this issue

I'm sorry but none of that makes any sense. What you've done there is make the MIL out to be the victim when she isn't.

1. The brother was right to have recorded the mother because it would've been difficult for the OP to believe him without that proof. I reckon the OP is aware the mother didn't like his wife before this situation but he would've still had difficulty believing she would make such statement towards his wife, especially after losing her baby.

2. I doubt the brother set out to record the mother for any ill intention. He was probably pressing his phone at the time and for him to have gotten those words recorded meant the mother must've said them a couple of times beforehand /before he started recording.

3. He (the brother) was likely in shock himself at what he was hearing their mother say, hence the need for him to record her, kinda like, "Did she just say that?".

Idk why you're blaming the brother when he did absolutely nothing wrong. I bet if the mother had said she wanted to kill the wife, you would still blame the brother for recording her. The brother is not the problem here at all.

When I was a teenager I had an Italian neighbour who kept having miscarriages. The husband's mom would sometimes visit and I would see her embrace the wife and they would gist outside. I actually didn't know about the miscarriages until the wife told me. She ended up giving birth towards the end of that year. I'm just recalling this story because the MIL never showed any animosity towards the wife, ever, and because what any loving MIL should do in this situation or least upon hearing about the wife losing her baby, is to ask how she's doing and feeling, if she needs anything ― anything to console the woman ― not utter such hateful words. As a woman herself, she should've known better.

Yes, the mother should've apologized to OP. Idk why that's even up for debate. Her refusal to do so shows she isn't remorseful and that this was an intentional statement. It takes a hateful heart to wish someone dead, especially after such a traumatic experience. It's like kicking someone when they're down, which is no surprise because according to her own words, "she is not an hypocrite, she never like my wife and she can't pretend".

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Re: I Disowned My Mother by Mindlog: 2:30am On Mar 05, 2021
OP, sorry for the loss of your child. Whatever emotions you feel towards your mother right now are valid as you and your wife struggle through the dark tunnel of loss and grief. Keeping away from her as you mourn your loss will be a good way to lessen the negative vibes from her direction.

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Re: I Disowned My Mother by LadySarah: 5:17am On Mar 05, 2021
dollytino4real:
u are wrong 4 saying disown her! don't go dat way it will cut short ur spiritual fruits, love n care 4 her time will heal all wounds

Fruits from such person will only be rotten.Imagine wishing a whole human died .Does she wanna marry her son instead?

28 Likes 1 Share

Re: I Disowned My Mother by dollytino4real(f): 6:33am On Mar 05, 2021
LadySarah:


Fruits from such person will only be rotten.Imagine wishing a whole human died .Does she wanna marry her son instead?

anger can make u say tins u will regret later

5 Likes 1 Share

Re: I Disowned My Mother by Mathiasa(m): 6:41am On Mar 05, 2021
Most mothers finds if difficult to take when their son gets married, they believe that bond btw them and their son may eventually fade away, not all of them know how to handle situations like that.
I know she did wrong by saying such a thing. Am also happy u said u forgave her pls don't disown her.
98% of women think alike no limit with age.

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Re: I Disowned My Mother by sisisioge: 6:50am On Mar 05, 2021
I dont know why people are shy to tell you the truth...you are on the right track...cut off from your mother for as long as it takes her to realise her error! Sebi she had her own kids, imagine people wishing her death now or hailing if any of her kids should (God forbid). Infact, if I were your brother that was there while she was saying what she said, I would cut off from her too.

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Re: I Disowned My Mother by nuelyoyo(m): 7:33am On Mar 05, 2021
Francis609:
Thank you all so much for your advice.
Tell us why your mother hates your wife, give us the background story.

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Re: I Disowned My Mother by femi4: 7:35am On Mar 05, 2021
Francis609:
My wife gave birth in November but we lost the baby 2 days after. What shocked me was when my younger brother sent me a voice message of what they had discussed about my wife and my mum was not remorseful, she said she is not happy that the baby has died she wish it was my wife that died in the process and the innocent baby lives , he recorded her without her knowledge because he didn't like what she was saying.

I immediately called her and play the voice, I taught she will be sorry for what she said, she didn't give a damn. She said she is not an hypocrite, she never like my wife and she can't pretend. I cut the phone with a broken heart even taught she never like my wife she could have at least show forget about the hatred and show her some love in this difficult situation.
My step mother has been taken care of my wife I am grateful , my mum has never bothered to call to know about her health and I haven't call her either. I disowned her. I don't hate her but I don't want nothing to do with her anymore because she is a disgrace to womanhood.

Please advice me if am I in the wrong
You can't divorce your mother. Just manage her excesses
Re: I Disowned My Mother by Danhoys: 7:58am On Mar 05, 2021
Your mother has a reason for this inordinate hate toward your wife. Find out that reason, and you'll live long.

What a woman sees sitting down, you cannot see even if you climb the highest mountain.

Her only shortcoming was her bluntness, but that isn't where it should end. Find out why she hates your wife, as that will bring solace to you both.

Disowning her is like shooting yourself in the leg, she's still your mother, and very much irreplaceable no matter how gracious your stepmother is.

No woman will hate the the wife of their son without reason, except in rare cases where they have been acting "mother and son" in pornhub.

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Re: I Disowned My Mother by Richy4(m): 8:43am On Mar 05, 2021
Danhoys:
Your mother has a reason for this inordinate hate toward your wife. Find out that reason, and you'll live long.

What a woman sees sitting down, you cannot see even if you climb the highest mountain.

Her only shortcoming was her bluntness, but that isn't where it should end. Find out why she hates your wife, as that will bring solace to you both.

Disowning her is like shooting yourself in the leg, she's still your mother, and very much irreplaceable no matter how gracious your stepmother is.

No woman will hate the the wife of their son without reason, except in rare cases where they have been acting "mother and son" in pornhub.

@ bold that was in those days... Not anymore.. as a matter of fact, the elders doesn't see anything nowadays except who is richer/ who line their pockets more...

I understand that you were trying to be the devil's advocate which is good but in this case, she should have abandoned all grudges.. we are talking about someone that lost a child here... I sincerely hope that the OP handled it in a matured way by not showing the recordings to the wife.. this is the kind of statement people take to their graves.. The wife might not forgive that if she ever sees it...

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Re: I Disowned My Mother by Janey2486(f): 9:00am On Mar 05, 2021
Your mother must have a reason for that, and please be very careful of your sept mother.

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Re: I Disowned My Mother by Nobody: 9:10am On Mar 05, 2021
Francis609:
My wife gave birth in November but we lost the baby 2 days after. What shocked me was when my younger brother sent me a voice message of what they had discussed about my wife and my mum was not remorseful, she said she is not happy that the baby has died she wish it was my wife that died in the process and the innocent baby lives , he recorded her without her knowledge because he didn't like what she was saying.

I immediately called her and play the voice, I taught she will be sorry for what she said, she didn't give a damn. She said she is not an hypocrite, she never like my wife and she can't pretend. I cut the phone with a broken heart even taught she never like my wife she could have at least show forget about the hatred and show her some love in this difficult situation.
My step mother has been taken care of my wife I am grateful , my mum has never bothered to call to know about her health and I haven't call her either. I disowned her. I don't hate her but I don't want nothing to do with her anymore because she is a disgrace to womanhood.

Please advice me if am I in the wrong
B4 U Disown Ur Mother. I Want To Ask U. Why Do Ur Mother Hate Ur Wife? What Could Av Prompted D Hatred?
Re: I Disowned My Mother by Francis609: 9:22am On Mar 05, 2021
Truvel:
B4 U Disown Ur Mother. I Want To Ask U. Why Do Ur Mother Hate Ur Wife? What Could Av Prompted D Hatred?

She hates my wife because she is from the same tribe as my dad. She wanted me to marry a lady from her tribe.

she also thinks she is ugly and will give birth to ugly kids.

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