It is finally here! The figments of my imagination which I thought was nothing but a mere dream, a fascination that was never coming to life, a wish that only left my lips and seemed to return back to me like a yo-yo just became a reality.
Celebrate with me as I release my first photo story which is my little way of starting a career as a writer here on instagram. For a while now, I have put this together in co-operation with my cast , Peace Iwuoha @peace_zara , Karmsi Alaribe @Darkprincesskay, Priscilla Ojo @its.priscy and Ebuka Prince @princeonoh in the production of a teen story titled 'Dear Diary '
It's a short story about a misunderstanding between @its.priscy and a clumsy instagram fan whose wish was granted by her secret fairy godmother.
Maybe things would have been different if she hadn't made that wish or maybe it was just the start of something new....
Releasing September 1st. Yay, that's today! and I can hardly wait.
Big shout out to Opara Favour @fhavor__ for her love and support, Fashola Raliat @_Omoshalewa for always been there and my sweetheart who couldn't join the story, @ibitoyeoluwatomini, I love you.
To everyone who has been encouraging and supporting my stories on my facebook page 'frozenfirenaija' and my Naira land page ' frozenfirenaija ' I say a big 'Thank You'.
You all have been the best.
Watch out for 'Dear diary' on my instagram page.
I am @frozenfirenaija

Episode 61
Lade could wait.
What couldn't wait was my determination to have Adam in me in not less than sixty seconds. I thought I was the one making him thirst for me when I hugged him tight after he opened the door, purposely pressing my breast on his chest and slowly brushing my tightened nipples across his chest to send him the message that I was in for anything but he turned the table around. Making me suffer with want as he continued to explore my body. If I had a knife by the bed place I would have slit his throat long ago for letting me burn inside when he had that which was to soothe my soul and quench the flames till it was nothing but ash. He seemed to be much more interested in my breast than in having sex with me.Every time I tried to slip my hand down his pants he took my hands and held them together above my head as if he was planning to rape me but this was consensual and I wasn't going to fight back.

The pre-intimacy was going too long and I saw my soul lift out of my body kneeling and begging for mercy. Begging to be released from the jail of want.Perhaps Adam heard the pleas I screamed very loudly in my head and not the hungry muffled groans of 'Adam please ' that I kept repeating even though I knew he couldn't comprehend what I was saying. He finally entered me when I was on the edge of the cliff ready to fall if he hadn't delivered himself to me or maybe delivered me.
An hour later we were two tangled mess in bed staring and studying the terrain of the ceiling. His breathes were hard and even though I didn't look at his face I could tell he was already fast asleep. I had once read that men who fell asleep after sex are weaklings but I didn't judge Adam. He had done a great deal of a job giving me the pleasure I never ever thought I deserved with every stroke of his tongue against mine I had felt my body shook with life and in every thrust, I realized my life was empty until he came in.

My head was blank of all thoughts except one. The joy of being with the love of my life or maybe so I thought before the room door swung open. My eyes shut to the intruder who strolled in like she owned the place. She dropped her bag on the small sofa beside the door,her heels making a loud noise on the tiled floor. I pulled the blankets and sat up as I cleared my throat to gain her attention, she turned to her left and shook in fear as she saw me.
I blinked as I wanted my eyes to convince me it wasn't who I thought it was that stood few feet away staring at me with a look that said 'BUSTED' on her face.
"Hi, Rhoda" lade said.

I know a girl who lost her way
Searching frantically for a safe place.
Lost in a world ruled by demons
Drowning in the pool of evil minions.
Hey girl, when will you be free?
From the bondage of this trauma.
The evil hands of inevitable drama.
To love and express love the right way.
Letting your monster wonder far away.
Sister sister, when will you be like me?
Realising love isn't about the past pains.
Giving up your fears and past fails.
For you I leave.
For you to live.
Go on sister, open your heart.
I have learnt and so would you.
How to burn your demons when they live in fire.
-frozenfirenaija

will update later in the day

Episode 60
Shalewa shot me that look again. I wasn't going to get use to the new look of hate and distrust on her well pan-caked face. She made sure Mofe wasn't looking before making faces and gestures that implied something I couldn't understand. She was just being overly dramatic, Mofe was Mofe. Who could change a spoilt brat?

My phone finally rang and broke the silence that had suddenly clouded the room as Mofe waited for a reply to the question she just asked which is, is kwame still single?
"excuse me" I picked the call as she rested her head on the back of her chair carefully hiding her anxiety behind the handfan but I had my own worries. Adam's voice was barely audible even after I had put it on loud speaker and I felt my pulse on my fingers as they shook in anger. I was angry at him for calling me after I had literally died of worrying over his well being and the fact that he didn't call for what seemed like forever.
I swallowed hard and hid my irritation. I didn't want the girls to start questioning me as that was their number one hobby.
"Bae, sorry I didn't call. I was so busy..you know things just gets down..i just woke up now...."
I checked the time. It was quater past eleven. Ever since I had known Adam he didn't wake up that late it was always eight 'o'clock clock in the morning or earlier. How busy he must have been to be so tired. I wished I was there to touch his chin and tell him not to stress himself because love was all that mattered but then that was the same thing that made Mother get married to my father. Love was blind and she wasn't in love for the money because love was all that mattered to her except that in my case the love was genuine and not for a cute bartender. Adam had a job and a life. Adam was the love of my life and I thought he loved me back a hundred percent. He had to because I would make him to.

"I'll come over. " I told him because I knew what I had in mind. If I loved Adam and I wanted him to love me back just as much. I had to show him.
I dropped the phone with a straight face when in my mind I did five straight cartwheels and seven celestial hallelujahs to celebrate the long awaited call and the hot sex I was going to give Adam later in the day. It was unfair to him to sleep with Father and not stay loyal to my own boyfriend and I was going to make things better between us. It was my way of building a solid relationship. Shalewa adjusted in her chair obviously dying to ask me who called and what whoever it was said but I didn't look in her way. She didn't have to know everything. She wasn't my diary.

'kwame is single now right? ' the question still hung in the air, still clouded the room even clogged my ear drums. Where was this going to? Oh yes I knew. Mofeoluwa was still single too from the last breakup she had with shalewa's ex-boyfriend and now she wanted Kwame again. If there was anything she loved doing, it was dating every Jack Dick and Harry. Once she dated a guy for only two weeks and even though she says she doesn't have sex with all of them, I know better not to believe her. A friend of hers once snitched on her with me, telling me Mofe's mother once flew her abroad to get proper abortion because she feared Nigerian doctors would not do it well. At the time the girl told me, I got scared for my self too. I had my contraceptives and when my guy doesn't use a condom, he does a coitus interruptus by pulling away before ejaculation took place but if I ever got pregnant, I don't think Mother would fly me out to get it removed though she surely would if it was my sister, the precious one.

Kwame was single of course but a part of me didn't want him to go for Mofe. It was like pushing him to the dogs or maybe I was just jealous to have him move on. I didn't think I would stand the sight of seeing him with someone else, someone like my 'friend' if that's what Mofe was to me.

She repeated the question and I nodded. I couldn't even bring myself to say it. I had Adam and I still couldn't let Kwame go. I was just being greedy when I knew I couldn't have all. I picked up my phone and stared at Lade's number.
She was my salvation.

SPDAZZY:
This girl Don tire me

she no know no b her fault

Episode 59
Mofeoluwa gave me the warmest hug I have received from a girl in a long time and Shalewa shot me that look, that look that explained she wasn't in good terms with Mofe and I frowned and returned to my seat wondering what had transpired again between the two 'jolly good friends'. Perfectly hiding my confusion behind my wide red colored smile.

"Long time no see, Mofe. Where have you been?" I pushed back the strand of hair that fell to my face as the stylist continued to fix the Brown colored weavon on the corn rows she had made on my head. Shalewa concentrated on her phone as if she didn't even see Mofe enter the salon and I knew whatever happened between them had been very big as Shalewa wasn't someone who kept malice with anyone. She was one to drop it while it was hot, rubbing your mistakes on your face till you apologized and made amendments but then Mofe wasn't one to apologize to anyone. She had equally rich parents and had travelled out of the country several times but I still don't think that's enough reason for her to behave the way she did. She was a pompous braggart.

"The heat in this country is so terrible. I got back from Paris three days ago and I have already developed terrible rashes at the back of my neck. How do you people cope?" She sat down and began rummaging around in her bag for something I was eager to know. I looked through the mirror and caught Shalewa eyeing her with her mouth twisted to the side in a sarcastic gesture. I stared at my clothes in my reflection. I was wearing an Army green sweater on white jeans with my legs tucked in a black Yeezy. It was a cold October morning and Mofe was complaining of rashes! No wonder Shalewa was irritated, I just laughed it off as Mofe brought out her foldable hand fan and started blowing her self in a AC filled room.

"A certain person in this room who isn't talking to me told me you broke up with Kwame while I was away!" It was only then I realized I was closer to Shalewa than I thought. After that night at club Pecas she didn't let me rest. It was always one gist over meat pie or at the movies or while shopping and she had managed to know about Kwame and Adam.

One day she attended my church and introduced herself to everyone as my best friend and second half. Funny how people cling to you when you are rich or have a celebrity sister.

Shalewa scuffed " A certain person in this room forming fresh kid should stop looking for my trouble o." The stylist giggled and I shot her a warning look through the mirror and she mouthed "am sorry" without letting any of the troublemakers see her. I had to change the topic before they both continued the childish act and embarrass us.

"Forget about Kwame we can always talk later. For now, tell me about Paris" That did the magic and Shalewa dropped her phone pretending to be thinking hard about something but I could bet on my life she had her ears stretched across the room listening to our conversation. Typical Shalewa.

Mofeoluwa rattled on for so long about the many wonderful places and meals she ate overseas but I was distracted with my thoughts. I had checked my phone the umpteenth time and there was still no text from neither Adam nor Kwame. Adam and I had spent the previous day together at his apartment and it was fun being with him knowing we were alone and things could get down between us. I didn't rush into anything still scared of being rejected like the first time I told him I loved him and he didn't reply. That had sawed my heart in half and even though I don't think any guy would reject sex, I didn't push my chances. But things could have happened but for the evil call that seemed very urgent which made him stop trailing kisses down my body but instead hurriedly grabbed his shirt and keys. He had dropped me off at the main bus stop and drove off in the opposite direction and ever since the goodbye I said which he didn't wait to hear, he still hadn't called nor texted. So much from a boyfriend. But I still don't know why I was worried about Kwame.

RoastedCorn:
Lade is related to Adam and already told Adam everything about Rhoda that was why Adam did not return the "I love you" Rhoda said the other time they were together

hmmm

Osjaay:
she's related to adam.c gbege ooooo.. will she still allow adam to marry her

let's just wait and see

Fidelismaria:
am so mad at u right now u avent mention my zodiac sign @firenaija bck to d story:i tink adam is d therapist broda oh nd by d way am Gemini

lol sorry sir Was only dealing with d characters in the story can't talk about all na thanks for ur understanding

Episode 58
"How do you think Kwame would feel?" Lade's question stung my heart and I waved off the tiny pain twitching my lips to the right. This was the second visit to the young 'friend-in-need' as she insisted I don't refer to her as a therapist as she is yet to complete her masters in the profession she was already very good at and felt comfortable speaking to me if I saw her more like a friend to confide in than a stranger who made money from talking to people who couldn't solve their problems themselves. Even though she was very polite I felt insulted but hid it, it was more like 'people who were too stupid to make decisions on their own but then she had squeezed my hand in hers and told me she was there to help me get through my odds and I had put off my shield remembering I was nothing close to being polite in the text I sent Kwame.

I had called him a jerk who thought he could woo me with luxury only to cheat on me with a dog like him. After Father left I re-read both text and imagined Kwame's expression when he read the text and how much it would have stabbed his heart and when he called I didn't pick his calls because I was scared of hurting him more. Because I cared. No, I wasn't to care. I was to love Adam.
"He would have felt bad...really bad but that's what I wanted. I am done with him and this time for good. Adam is the man I love and now that I know he feels the same way about me, Kwame was the only rock between us and I helped weather it. Adam and I would do great things together" I was beaming with joy as I imagined being in Adam's arms safe and sound together at the beach staring at the sea with the sun shinning above us. Such beauty. Without Father in the picture of course.

" So....have you seen Adam yet?" She asked her lips in a straight line--grim, her left brow raised and I figured she wasn't really asking if I had spoken over dinner or spent time with Adam at a lounge discussing about our relationship. She was asking if I had slept with Adam and again my face went hot in rage. What did she think I was? But I knew the answer before I asked myself. I was the LovePeddler who couldn't stop sleeping with her Father and had kissed her ex the first time she saw him after the sudden breakup. One who could spread her legs for anyone even a madman.
Her face melted "am sorry." She said but she didn't have to be. It was common sense to tell a counselor everything even your darkest secrets even though they included secretly wishing you were in bed with a certain person. I wanted my first time with Adam to be special not driven by my body. I have decided to stop allowing my body go before my brain even though alphabetically body was before brain.

"I haven't been with Adam but I did have something with Father two days ago. I know..I know...it's just that..it's hard to explain. I had a dream, if I didn't give in I could have died. I could have hit my head again....I could have been in a coma at the moment" I never imagined telling anyone why I gave in to Father's wish two days ago and now I regret not rehearsing it because this was the most stupid thing I had said in a long time and the look on Lade's face condemned me. This was stupid, being threatened by a helper, thinking she was the enemy when she was there to 'help'. I was only being unnecessarily paranoid.
"It's in your hands to fix your mistakes dear. I think you enjoy being with your Father or maybe that is what he has made you believe but you have to overcome what he has planted in you. Be yourself, Make your decision, Stand by it. You don't have to make excuses for sleeping with your Father. You have to fix this." Her voice was hoarse at the end and she picked up her glass.

I placed my drink on the table and looked further into the sitting room. On the wall there was a picture frame but it was turned to face the wall. I stood up and walked around the room till I got to the frame. Lade was still drinking when I got to the picture frame stretching to remove it and adjust it the right way. Perhaps someone else she was helping had looked at it and carelessly replaced it the wrong way. Lade was too careful and orderly to have made such mistake.
"You have someone else you help? This frame has been replaced wrongly" I reached for the frame standing on the tip of my toe so my fingers could remove the frame from the small nail. My hand finally grabbed it and I stared at the painting on the back of the frame ready to turn it around and see the real picture. Like lightning, Lade ran to my side and yanked the frame from me holding it tightly to her stomach while I stared at her in bewilderment. Our eyes locked for a long time as I waited for an explanation but all I got was a muffled "sorry" which was seasoned with a smile so rich yet very fake. I knew better to be concerned .
I wasn't paranoid, something was wrong and like life it would unfold itself.

Osjaay:
the tori don dey disgust me sef. small time u go dey vex say you no like wetin ur papa dey do u, another time u dey enjoy im bleeping.which one I wan believe now. mtcheeewww

lool just help me go on with the story, no let a. taya u

Episode 57
I sprang up from the bed to a sitting position panting like I had just competed with Usain Bolt in the longest marathon race in the Olympics. My bed was soaked in my sweat and I could hear my heart beat against the tick-tick of my wall clock. My head was shooting a bang-bang video and I clutched my pillow for comfort trying to distract myself from the memories my dream brought back.
Seeing my memories in details wasn't the only weird ability I had, I had the gift of dreams and sometimes I wondered if I could pay more attention I would be able to read horoscopes and see visions for other people. This was actually why I was always interested in astrology, psychology and zodiac signs. At least I hadn't said much in my dream this time and even if I did, no one would hear me.
My sister was at her apartment on the island and Mother had travelled to Abuja for an independence conference which I still can't figure out, how it had anything to do with Grandfather's company. I yawned,tired and drained of my energy. The club had worn me out and I didn't need a mirror to know i had sleep bags under my eyes.i squeezed my eyes shut then opened it again. My room door squeaked quietly open and Father stood at the door half nude with a towel around his neck, wet chin from an after shave,the grin that confirmed the devil's existence. My mouth fell open.

"Happy Independence Day" he said as he shut the door behind me. My mouth went dry immediately and my eyes popped out in transfixion. I felt my heart stop beating, my limbs went paralyzed and I sat there looking like I had seen a ghost. I didn't only suffer from Philophobia ,indecision and incest, I was scared of falling down the stairs again,scared of the throbbing headache after the loud thud,scared of waking up in the hospital after being unconscious for several hours.What if, God forbid I woke up at the hospital after being in coma for months or years or.....what if I "never" woke up. I was drowning in my own thoughts and Father stood there with a worried look on his face.

"What's wrong?" He said and walked further into the room,his scent feeling the whole place,suffocating my head. I stood up from the bed and walked over to him without bothering about the revealing lingerie,without wrapping the blanket around me,without making my dream come true and when I stood in front of him I knew he would place his hands on my shoulders and knead them but he didn't instead he pulled me into an embrace brushing his hard on me and humming a soft song I didn't know. My body began to react and I cursed myself under my breath for not being the girl of my dreams. Father slipped his hands down and locked my waist possessing me but I was obliged faux de mieux ;because there was nothing better. Because I was correcting a future I had foreseen
He lifted my chin and found my lips. Sucking till I almost ran out of saliva ,deepening his tongue till I almost swallowed it. It was everything I did not to moan or kiss him back--tenderly.


"And lead us not into temptation " that Matthew 6:13 echoed in my head as I slipped my hands into his boxers and gripped him tight systematically sliding it up and down and up again. I clutched his shoulders and pinched softly when he wanted to lift me up and swing me off my feet,a gesture that made him release me and place me gently on the bed where he continued to explore my alcohol filled breath and tangled weavon.
When his thumb brushed my breast, I turned incandescent with sexual desire then I closed my eyes and forgot about everything I had planned to tell Father. The long speech with well pronounced impertinence I had rehearsed ever since I decided to stop the affair with him. I forgot about the text messages I had sent to both boys who proclaimed their undying love for me and wallowed in what people would call self destruct.
Self destruct or not. I was already in too deep and so was Father's thrust between my thighs

Rukkydelta:
Happy birthday in arrears. Wishing you all the best that life got to offer

thanks soo much

hatchetman:
happy buyday egen.nd sowie 4 d broken skul...rhoda

thanks

Episode 56
"Happy Independence Day" Father said teasingly as he shut the door behind him.
My vision was blurry but I didn't need a recommended glasses to recognize the figure at my room door, didn't need Sango to tell me the person who smelt so daring even at this time of the day.
He was standing half nude except the very free boxers around his waist and the white bathroom towel on his neck. His chin was still wet, an effect of his shave and early morning mouth wash. Cleanliness was the only good thing I had learnt from Father and my sister had taken after him to a fault. He had that grin on his face, that grin that hinted me that something was about to get down, that evil grin that wired an electric shock through my guts or maybe somewhere around my liver.


I tossed and pulled the blanket upward to cover my pointing nipples. Sleeping naked was the best feeling but not for me because I was too stupid and always forgot to latch my room door even though I was very aware that I had a Sexual maniac just two rooms away from mine. Well, I never sleep naked but what I wear is not different from being nude. It was a short blue cotton lingerie that very transparent cloth that enables fresh air to hit my skin against the ever existing Nigerian heat but unfortunately allows the intruder see everything I didn't want him to see.....again.


"What do you want?" My impertinence surprised me and Father stopped short. That was strong and powerful, I was going to win this time and I hid the smirk of victory that coined at the corner of my lips. He bit his lower lip and placed his right hand on his head.
"You always know what I always want, Mai dear" he smiled and his grin was there again irritating me further I wanted to throw up on his face. I stood up from the bed further wrapping my self around the blanket till I looked like a sausage wrapped around by thick layers of dough. He walked further and placed both hands on my shoulders but my body would not stir any inch of arousal and the realization that I was frigid for the first time in my life surprised me, I almost leaped in the fear or maybe joy that I wouldn't be falling for Father's seductive touch that burned down my shoulders slowly easing the tensed muscle as he gave me a soft massage.
I yanked off his hands ignoring his look of disdain. I pulled the blanket that still swept the floor of the room like the veils of a wedding bride but I didn't have the perfect face of a wife-to-be; my hair was a total mess as I hadn't worn a hair net to bed the previous night . I turned around and made for the bathroom door.
My eyes were still heavy and I felt light headed, I had, had too much to drink at the club the previous night. It was Independence Day eve and Quilox was full to the brim. Shalewa's instagram fans kept coming to take selfies with her and because we were together,many offered to buy us drinks. Shalewa had already told me not to embarrass her by refusing any offer from the artists and rich Yahoo boys who also sat at the VIP and found me attractive. She told me to be friendly so she could become friends with them and hang out with 'LagosBigGirls' too. I finally refused when I could hardly type my lock screen password correctly. Refused when I had already sent two text messages to two people who had made the last five days very though as I kept comparing and contrasting my choices, the influence of alcohol.


Two steps towards the door and my weight was lifted off the ground shrieking me out of my thoughts. Making me loose my balance and temper. Father sent kisses to my neck while I struggled in his arms. I wasn't going to let him do this to me again. I kept pushing his chest but his grip only tightened the more I struggled. It was like he had another hand pinning me to his chest while he carried me still devouring my neck and loosening the blanket simultaneously. The blanket was off me before I could do anything , I couldn't even bite him not when he had his mouth around my breast. I wouldn't succumb. This had to stop. Where was my monster?
He adjusted my weight against him and turned back to the bed. The bed which I had cried myself to sleep in the previous night when I re-read the text messages I had sent. He giggled as I kept beating him wildly with my palms trying not to shout, not to call the attention of the gateman. He released his grip and left me to fall on the hard of the bed. Father would have failed in mathematics because he didn't calculate well. He didn't calculate that my head was too close to the wood at the crown of the bed. He would have failed in astrology because he didn't foresee the turn out of events.
My head smashed the wood of the bed and I heard my skull crack.

CocoB20:
Happy birthday frozenfirenaija... sorry it's coming late. Just got to this page

Thanks soo much, not late o we are still in August o

Once again thanks for all the Birthday wishes and everything, I really appreciate it and sorry I haven't update o, have been busy, will do that soon, thanks once again.

I thank the lord for adding another year to my life.
His grave his ever sufficient.
His love never dies.
Even though my sins are more than my prayers and my lips, more profanities than prayers; he sets his angels before, beside, behind and within me to guard me everywhere I go. He never takes a break from being the Lion of the tribe of Judah, he remains the beginning of my life, the manufacturer of my very soul, the owner of my talent and the giver of my beauty despite my constant complains.
He put aside my childish and immature blasphemies and even when I become an hypocrite, he watches me and brings me back to the path of greatness. He isn't just God to me, he is everything I have ever stood for and will ever stand for.
It's been eighteen years and he doesn't think I am too young for prosperity neither does he think I am too old to ask him for help. He just turns up every time I call him as every time I don't. He remembers me always because he chose me to be the apple of his eyes.
It hurts my soul to deeply that I can't give him any gift but this praise. It hurts my soul that the same mouth I use to sin is the same mouth am using to bless his holy name. Yet, my blessed Father doesn't care about the past, he knows the future he has planned for me and he continues to direct my oath in this present.
I can go on and on all day and not get tired of thanking him for helping me this far in my life despite my ups and downs, setbacks and the devil plan for my existence.
Be praised Father
Be exalted.
Also i want to use this time to appreciate all nairalanders that have been following my story, your commments which really made me laugh most time and also making me know better, also your advices, i really appreciate and thank u all, u all are the best! Love u all

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME

Bornita:
happy birthday to you miss jaiyeoba omotola. Wullnp.

thanks soo much sis

awwwwwwwwwwwww thanks sooo much bur how did u know

Episode 55
I recognized the car packed by the gate. I'm not a car literate but I know a corolla when I see one especially when it belongs to a certain person who I wasn't expecting to be at a certain place at a certain time on a certain night. Heinsenburg Uncertainity principle of physics was surely what I needed to bring myself out of this transfixion that captivated me robing me of my locomotion.I heaved a sigh trying to suppress my childish upcoming anger trying hard not to be pugnacious. I didn't even know why I wanted to fight and argue with him. Okay maybe I knew why but it was very silly and I couldn't bring myself to start up a fuss over such ridiculous issue.
Adam came down from the car adjusting his shirt at the collar even though he had no tie on and had two buttons loosened to show off his chest. The seduction didn't work as it was too dark to see his chest and maybe the sprouting hair he seemed to be proud of the other day at the eatery. I stopped walking ,clearing my throat so I don't sound like a croaked chicken very aware that he was watching me intensely as he walked over to where I stood still like a teenage girl on her first date.


"Hi, nice surprising me on a night like this" i had played the leading role in a secondary school drama as the princess of Umuaya village but speaking the Igbo language I had learnt from friends for the drama wasn't the parody it was the fact that I played the role of a virgin beauty who refused the proposals of several suitors; village men and foreigners alike because I (or She rather) was proud and taken by her beauty . I was nothing like who and what I acted but everyone had given me a standing ovation at the last scene where I lamented my regrets for being Ifunanya, the proud girl then fell flat on my forehead without cringing like a professional girls scout feigning my own death. Even my teachers were overwhelmed and said I was a good actress but this was an exception because even I heard the edge of insolence in my voice. I didn't hide the anger that burned my skin causing me to fight the urge to rip off my denim jacket as I produced excess heat under the cool evening sea breeze.


He was already standing in front of me in his full tall length towering above me but tall boys never intimidate me. Kwame was taller.
" Bae, I--" I gasped and raised a brow at the word 'Bae'. You know that face you make when you find out someone is dating you and you had no idea. I managed to return my face to the not-falling-for-your-sugar-coated-tongue expression but Adam seemed to know why he came to my house and he wasn't giving up nor was he going to leave without accomplishing his mission. I swallowed hard and pressed the door bell declaring my arrival to Dayo,the gate man who collected my shopping bags and hurriedly dropped them at main entrance. I knew Mother and Father would be home so I didn't take Adam into the main house instead I led him to the large space at the back of the house which was originally built for a swimming pool but was more of an abandoned part of the compound than a relaxation spot though Dayo had kept the place clean and trimmed the flowers around the walls. There was the best place to talk, the best place to lay on me whatever it was that brought him all the way from Apapa to Akute. What a distance!
He followed quietly and sat beside me on the bamboo chairs before clearing his throat.....



Two hours later Dayo bolted the gate and I heard the zooming of Adam's car against the leaping of my heart in something I expected to be joy but apparently with Kwame's speech ringing subconsciously in my medulla oblongata, I didn't blame my head for feeling like it had a fontanelle. I was still seated on the Bamboo chair watching the stars in the sky shine bright and the rustling of the flowers against the gentle night breeze silently wishing the noise of the night insects would distract me from the Shauri in my head.

RoastedCorn:
you speak from experience

not really but it's something have seen

Belvinho:
Hello Frozenfirenaija,

I'd like to appreciate your wonderful story, please keep it up.

Just a few points of correction I'd like you to adopt, please increase tour line spacing to allow readability. Also, make use of paragraphs as often as possible by hitting the ENTER button.

To be frank, following your story of recent has be a bit difficult due to the above stated reasons.

Cheers

Belvinho

thanks soo much for this, really appreciate

RoastedCorn:
Rhoda is 1 confused human being . .



her own na touch and follow . . no need of long talk or romance.

she has only feel in love with 2guys na

But do u know people can fall in love with 2people at the same time and u won't know who to chose and u keep going out wit dem, not like u're bad, guy/girl o but u just find urself in such situation

Episode 54
My head was spinning in an excessive amount of uncontrollable confusion. The world was full of other people but universe seemed to be picking on only me to play all it hideous and devious tricks on. Why was I painted with so much bad luck and continuous episodes of problems? Leaving one and falling into another was of course the works of the wicked and heartless custodians of fate and that 'que sera sera' mentality the earth put in humans that made them believe they didn't have control over the occurrence in their lives. I do admit I have no control over my body and I find it hard to resist every masculine touch and my body stiffens at the sight of a rising groin and I always bite my lips the moment I see a very cute hard bodied guy walking towards me and all other 'ands' I am adamant to admit but I do have control over my heart.
Kwame was my first real love and even though he had cheated seeing him again brought back memories. Memories that had painted my face with too much excitement the moment i bumped into him at The supermarket I had entered to get a few of life's essentials for healthy and hygienic womanhood which in my world consisted of a new pack of sanitary pads,toilet paper, mouth and hand wash and herbal facial scrub. He looked the same as the first time I had seen him. Irregular eye color, blue hoodie on black jeans ,Gosh he looked like a Nigerian Justin Beiber and I almost slapped myself for my punishable thoughts carefully reminding myself I was in love with Adam and Kwame and I were never getting back together.
I could see from the curve of his lips that he was happy to see me and I don't know if it was the fact that I hadn't had anything but juice at the therapist house or if it was Kwame's lips that made my lips go dry when we hadn't even hit harmattan season. We talked for a while about the things that didn't matter as both of us avoided talking about our inevitable break up. He had moved from his apartment and now stayed at Jibowu,Yaba and he had gotten a fine job at a firm. Boy! He was living fine without me while I was wallowing in self pity and was just getting over a phase of depression and that realisation stung me like the pierces of a soldier ant.
We stepped out of the supermarket after he swiped his ATM card through the POS even after I strongly refused his paying my bills. It was very obvious he was trying to please me or maybe I was just consoling myself because I didn't want to admit he was flaunting his money and happy life in my face. We walked side by side to his "new" car emphasis laid on 'new' because I was a damn hater and my aura was deep green with envy as I compared the car to Adam's.
'Get a grip dear,get a grip' I had told myself when we had entered the car and Kwame was leaning close to me instead of starting the car and zooming off. It was hard to concentrate on anything else but his face. Hum...actually it was his lips that did the devil's work. Holy Moses his lips.....has he been using pink lips cream? Or is God just such a wonderful creator?The rise and fall of my breast didn't help, didn't create a gap when he leaned closer and kissed me, didn't push him away when I kissed him back ,they just stood there. Two twins who were ignorant of their Mother's condemnable actions.
"I won't stop apologizing for my misdeeds and mistakes...all I wanted was just a fling and I never meant to hurt you. I am very sorry for the pain I have caused you. I have missed you so much and I know you must hate me so much for not being there for you but I want you to know that I'll do anything to have you back. I still love you and this time I swear I'll be a better person and never would you have to worry about me cheating. I'll be everything I never was. Think about us,please"
Now here is the thing,with that mind gripping tension easing emotion igniting love proposing speech, I have lost control of my heart and if you were in my shoes what would you do?

Will soon update. Thanks all for following

Episode 53
"He didn't say it back?" Her lips were curled in an enigmatic half smile. She was more like a friend than a professional very expensive private therapist. The way she tilted her head when she spoke and nodded when it was my turn so I wouldn't bite my tongue and shy away from completing my sentences,the way she sat leg crossed over the other, very comfortably like she didn't have any problem helped me feel relaxed.
When I had entered her apartment she had welcomed me with a bright hug you'll wonder if we hadn't just talked over the phone after I saw her page on Instagram stating she was a good listener,professional therapist and the best friend anyone needed. I had looked at her right hand and didn't see any ring. For a twenty six year old Nigerian lady,marriage was the first thing everyone asked her so I didn't have to ask,she just told me she has a fiance but I read her aura even though she hid it so well. She was the shade of faint blue and forty percent below the line of happiness. Just immediately she balanced her emotion,she was a yellow again and got to the equilibrium. I had hidden a smirk of victory.
She had suggested a group discussion but I declined. I wanted my problem to be private not shared with a bunch of people who would criticize me in their mind and use me as an example in their discussion with other strangers who didn't care. What if one of them happened to be Mother's friend or even my future boss? I couldn't risk my life and dignity for a session when I had an alternative.
"It was the first date and I was too stupid to have told him that early. I think I scared him away" I rubbed my throat and took a sip of the orange juice she had served me. The drink went down my oesophagus sending a coolness into my body that sent a small shiver down my spine against the hurt that had remained in my throat since Adam disappointed me. I thought we were meant for each other but maybe love was a fantasy for fairy tales and we just couldn't have Paris.
"You have to calm down. Maybe he didn't say it back because he wants to think about it or maybe he isnt ready to be in a serious relationship or..." She twisted her lips to the side and peaked at me from the corner of her eye. Her right hand was massaging her left shoulder and it trailed off to her neck and she closed her eyes. I frowned at the gesture trying to comprehend why she was so taken by my own problem and my eye brow curved inquisitively at her.
She stirred and dropped her hands down to her crossed leg and cleared her throat faking a smile to cover the awkwardness that filled the room. I smiled back cautiously trying not to pry into what wasn't my business or make her fingers shake more from the embarrassment she already felt. I didn't worsen the situation, I had an incomplete statement which I finished in my head and it stabbed my heart ,a question I had ignored all week because I didn't want to watch my self tear apart ,because I didn't want the tears to roll down to my chin.
" because he has someone in his life" I had to say it myself. Acceptance was always after Denial in the wheel of life that spun everytime. She nodded as she shifted closer to me wrapping her hands around me.
"I want you to know the heart is very fragile and yours is more even though you fight it. Please don't let this make you fall. Stop the affair with your father,I beg you. Imagine your daughter with your husband.....if it happened to be Adam in the end. Do the right thing,sweetheart"
She was right. I was already thinking of seeing Father for comfort. He was the only one who seemed to care about me now but it was very wrong and I wouldn't want my daughter to be me. I had to fix my mistakes and make my life better than it is.
The struggle of being twenty one is wanting intimacy and commitment in a world of hookups and one nightstands. Adam was the guy I wanted and when a Leo loves,they possessed.
Wat kind of Leo am i?
"What did you say is Adam's surname ?"
"Folawemi"
There was a sparkle in her eyes.

Episode 52
The sky looked like a painting. Thick blue clouds indicating the brewing rain but the gold streak of sunset gloomed under as an alignment of the white pure sky peaking down the earth in a lush of sparkle. The weather was cold and I was glad I had fought the urge to wear something revealing to impress Adam. I had worn a blue long sleeve kimono on the black spaghetti and black jeans I had worn inside and I still felt the chills go down my skin even though I prete ded I was fine. I didn't want to be the one who complained about everything, I wanted to give Adam a good impression.
He was well dressed in a Vintage shirt and had his hair cut into that shape that made you want to hire his Barber and pay for a hair cut for every male on your phone's contact. He was very gorgeous as he ate and i lost all my appetite immediately he winked at me. I watched him as he stuffed the the spoon of meat and pepper soup into his mouth carefully so he didn't smear his lips or his shirt. we had talked for a while before the waiter brought the tray with two soup bowls of pepper soup and meats. He had told me so much about him in the small espanse of time.
He was a graduate of Obafemi Awolowo University where he had studied Architecture but things didn't work out as planned and he now worked with a Shipping company in Apapa. I knew from the edge of his voice that he had rich parents who could make things possible but he didn't want to rely on them. Instead,he sought his own success by himself striving and working hard without nothing more than financial support only when things where very tight for him.
We did have that in common. Wanting to prove to our families that we could fend for ourselves without having them push buttons and make phone calls on our behalf,he had burst into laughter when I said so but I didnt tell him My father was in love with me and my mother loved my Father more than her children. I didn't mention that my sister was the popular model on the cover of every magazine. I wanted him to love me for me without the attachment that made my life miserable.
The light in the cubicle we were was dim and sensual. The three walls had a beautiful pink wallpaper and I commended the artist that did such amazing artwork. The cushion was soft and we sat at am angle 90 to each other making it easy to adjust and lean on him to listen to his heartbeat and send the message that I felt the same way he felt.A gush of wind blew between us and I felt the electricity between us.it was palpable. I moved closer and leaned on his shoulders." I'm cold" my voice was a hushed whisper as Adam hesitated before wrapping his hands around me and I hoped he didn't see me smile happily to my self as I squeezed my eyes shut. We stayed that way for a long time watching the busy Lagos road from the transparent glass. We were at KFC,Ikeja under bridge but from where we sat,we were far away from everything and everyone,finding inner peace within each other. The tranquility of it all made me feel relaxed. This was the best feeling and I savoured every bit of it wishing I didn't have to leave, I didn't have to go home. Wishing I could stay with him ---forever.
He didn't utter a word about having feelings for me and wanting me to wake up in his arms every morning when he dropped me off at the house,he didn't say that night was also the best night in his life. He just kissed me softly and I melted.
"I love you,Adam"
But he didn't say it back

Episode 51
Everyone around us was laughing at something funny the character in the movie said but I didn't hear it. I could blame Shalewa's whispers and side talks as she complemented the script with her own words as if she had employed Judd Apatow,the director and producer of the movie TrainWreck. She wasn't one to watch a movie without commenting on that girl who wore a red shoe instead of a green shoe, or the very gorgeous guy with the ugly girlfriend who didn't know how to dress or how salty the popcorn was even though it was too expensive.
Going to the cinema with Shalewa wasn't really a bad idea,we got the tickets to see the movie with the amazing trailer but went in twenty minutes late because we had to take a million and one selfies for her flashy life on social media. Well,I might always complain about Shalewa but being with her was often fun. She had the massive weapon to eliminate every lurking boredom and divert my attention away from the depression and emptiness in me that swung my mood everytime I remembered. She was my salvation.
The backseat in the cinema was always the seat of the bad guys; those noisemakers and movie commentators,those who threw popcorn at other people and those who couldn't afford a hotel then came over to make out at the movies. I knew Shally chose that space definitely not because it was higher but I didn't argue,you don't want to have a roll with her,she would cut you down into pieces before you say 'Jack robinson'
However, it wasn't Shalewa who distracted me from the movie. It was the girl on blue braids.
Even though the cinema was very dark,I could see her face. Her eyes were too innocent, her lips looked like the morning dew; soft,full and slightly apart. Her hands were wrapped around the guy beside her who also leaned closer and wrapped her in a warm and loving embrace. She looked at him with thick black pupils surrounded by a very white cornea protected by long thick lashes and all I could see where the stars in her eyes,she was surely a Taurean and she was definitely in love with him. Of all zodiac signs , Taureans where the ones who loved the most. If a Taurean falls in love with you,they fall a hundred and ten percent deep and their lips where something to die for.
I kept watching with my straw in my mouth unable to take a sip because I was going green with envy. Shalewa's gist had become faint and every where was quiet as though I had pressed the 'Mute' button on life's speakers. The boy leaned closer to her touching her face softly then kissed her. I gulped in a large amount of the drink and the bottle made a noise that called attention and the girl looked back. She flashed her very infectious smile and her dimple drilled in too deep and I swore in my mind my own daughter must have dimples too.I smiled back and she looked away adjusting her body so she can lean better on the 'love of her life'. My aura dropped so low and blue,I wanted a love that genuine,I wanted Adam to look into my eyes and make me feel like am the only girl in the world.
"They are so cute together" Shalewa's voice sprung me out of my illusion and I adjusted on my seat. "You really should call Adam,I don't know why you haven't" she winked and took a sip of her drink . I knew she was right. I had to call Adam and I had to do so right away before I had any second thoughts.

Episode 50
My knees burnt and begged for freedom as I pressed them on the bed supporting my weight with my wide spread palms that camouflaged with the new light brown bedsheets I had gotten for my new mattress. The room was very bright as the white bulb refracted on the bright fresh white paint on the wall,I had done my room a lot of renovation. New blue drapes for the shiny and sparkling well polished room windows that sent a blue hue to the figures in the room. The evening sunset shot a brilliant golden colour to my skin and it supported my glorious black melanin.
The soft Taylor Swift R 'n' B streamed out of the speakers of the big beat by Dre I had connected to my laptop. The notes was soft,the rhythm was heavenly and the melody rose my soul from within to a place I hadn't been before yet felt like I have lived in for a long time.
Father had his arms wrapped around my waist as he thrust in and out of me doggy style. I pressed my big butt against him wanting him to hit my Archille's heel. The spot that would weaken my drive and send jolts of orgasm through my full length. My breasts flew all over my face hurting and begging the movement to become as slow as was comfortable for 'the twins' but fast enough to reach my center of gravity. Gosh, it felt like ages since I had sex and maybe that was why it felt like the best sex in my entire life.
My mouth was ajar the whole time and I dint mind the spits that rolled on the bed once in every sharp thrust. It was my paradise,it was my warzone,it was my rapture. I looked back at father and his eyes were shut too. He was feeling what I felt. His body jerked for mercy and he let out a groan to announce his death in the pleasure we shared. I responded with a moan that only stirred something deep within me.
Father disengaged and turned me to my back and lay above me. His grin was back and different from the sacarstic look he had given the mother of the boy when the judge dismissed the case. The doctor had been bribed handsomely to present false test results on the alcohol content in my sister's system the day of the accident. The boy's father ,who had witnessed the accident testified that the boy had run to the road to fetch his ball without looking. Of course,it was the lie he was forced to say. The judge had looked at him as he testified against his own case and I knew his wife would never forgive him.
I had seen the anguish in her eyes and it had hurt my soul to see how much she hungered for justice and revenge against us but who was I to do anything about it? It was her family against mine. No matter how complicated my family was I wouldn't choose anyone over them. I loved them and they loved me. Father loved me and that was all that mattered now as he wrapped his hand against my breast kneating them like flour for chin chin. I threw my hands in the air cause this was the greatest care.
This was better than nutella, pizza wasn't even close to fifty percent of what I felt when his lips settled and sucked them like they had German juice. Everyone was happy now that the case was over. My sister had packed her bags and was on her way back to the island ,back to the life ,back to the paparazzi and spotlight but I didn't need a bunch of press and fans to complete my world.
I was already having limelight with the man that loved me.
Even if he was my father.

Episode 49
The tick-tock of the wall clock was too loud against the silence that had bloomed bigger than a sunflower in early September. A sweat broke off my forehead and I watched it drop on the bridge of my nose. A small bead of sure-to-be salty liquid indicating my trepidation to what Theo would do if I didn't do what he asked and if Father didn't stop him.
"Sweetheart, you don't want to keep us waiting." Theo's voice shoved me out of the memory I had dug into,the past I had banished to the deep hole where only I knew,where I kept my phobias. I stirred and looked around, it took a while for my eyes to adjust to the brightness of the sitting room which was a result of the trance I had been forced into. Theo was by my left ,one hand in his pocket while the other held the cigarette to his mouth. He puffed out the thick smoke that engulfed the room and flashed me a sarcastic smile. Okay,his teeth wasn't bad, rich devils are always fresh and clean. The lawyer was leaning against the wall his hands were folded across his chest as he stared at me with an expressionless face as he adjusted his suit and returned to this original position. He didn't look bothered with the idea of me hitting the bond man,he had been paid and money had robbed him of his opinion.
I shifted my gaze to father and what I saw shook me, his eyes were shut to a thin line as his lower lip vibrated and he was breathing in fury. Theo pulled another cigarette out of the pack and lit it walking purposefully towards me and my heart skipped a bit.
He placed his two hands on my shoulder and I cringed. He bent over to my neck and whispered "you are older now and i'm not asking you to shoot him,just a few whips with the belt over there. Thats not too much to ask right?"
That was when he looked up at Father but it was too late. Father's anger had boiled to a 100° C and he stormed over to where we were and grabbed Theo's hand off me shoving him backwards causing him to lose his steps. Theo struggled to keep his stance but the push was unexpected, he crashed into the stool he had placed the belt on and the contact obviously sent a sharp lightning of pains into his vertebra column. He glared at Father who stood above him and I swear I could see the smoke of fury blow out of Father's both ears and his nose as he grabbed Theo by the collar and stared hard into his eyes. Theo retreated with a punch on Father's face that echoed in the room and sent father five steps backward
I covered my mouth in horror. Father held his nose and when he pulled back his hands were bloody. He looked at Theo with eyeballs that said 'You are so dead today'. He reached for his back and pulled out a gun, the lawyer who was about to come stand between them stopped abrubtly. The bond man was very quiet and went pale.
Theo tilted his head to the back and wiped his sweaty face with his palms as Father points the gun to him with trembling hands.
If I didn't know better I would have confirmed with the look of hate and anger on Father's face that he would pull the trigger but I knew Father. He loved Theo so much he wouldn't pull the trigger. He knew he would always need Theo,they handled things together, he was my father's role model. Father cocked the gun and held it tightly to Theo's forehead as Theo sucked in his lips and arched his brow in frustration making me wonder if I was right about him being unable to shoot
"Thats how you did it Theo do you remember? You drew a circle on her forehead. The next time you try to mess with her I'll make the circle deep enough for my fingers to drill in" Father's voice was the best at the moment, he sounded like Knight and I watched him return the gun to it's position with admiration. He surely was in love with me.
He took a handkerchief from his pocket and wiped his nose carefully. The lawyer was between them now calming Theo down. I walked over to Father and hugged him,he had saved me from going against my will,he had delivered me from the valley of the shadow of evil, he had been my hero. He held me tight for a long time and the tears flowed freely down my cheeks. From the corner of my eyes I saw the bond man's face but his look wasn't desperate. He looked defeated. Seeing the fight and the gun had straightened his thinking and he probably knew he was meat if he didn't succumb and join the plan the lawyer had strategized.
He bent over slamming his face on the floor still tied to the chair. The crash was messy and everyone jolted directing all attention to him guessing and wondering what he was up to. The lawyer took the whip from the floor ready to give the man a few lashes and straighten him back up but the man looked up at us and his face was a blue funk.
He vomited.

Episode 48
If a pin had dropped,I would have heard. The silence after a loud shot was remarkable. I pulled back my hands and let the gun slip down to the polished tiled floor breaking the silence that supported the tension that hung above the room and made my throat go dry of life as a whole. I was now crying loudly not minding the consequence of my attention attracting tears and what Theo had in mind to do to torture me next.
I opened my eyes and Afura was lying on her back her legs coiled in a ugly mess. Her wrapper had loosened and i could see her big thighs and a bit of her underwear. My mouth dropped to my jaw as I watched and waited for her chest to rise and fall but she was as still as a plank, as pale as a cancer patient. My gaze shifted to my tormentor,he was looking at me with anger as he sucked in his lower lips and as he cocked the gun on my forehead again, the door flew open.
Father stopped short when he saw the scene in front of him. His grin faded in a matter of seconds, the news paper in his right hand dropped to the floor and his mouth flew open in a shocked expression. Theo pressed the gun harder into my head ,i swallowed a light yell and yearned for safety not only from the gun that burned on me but the tension,the drama ,the weirdness,the madness,the insanity and every other related words that defined the obscurity of the events in my life and my family.
"Ki lo de?" My father hardly spoke Yoruba,he probably couldn't find his words and that was the only thing that came to him. "Theo, wat's going on here?" Father looked at me with so much love than he ever did anytime he came to my room to have sex with me then the look faded from love to pity and anger. He clenched his fist and I looked to the ground.
"You want to know?" Theo raised my chin up with his free hand then pointed to Afura "This househelp lying helplessly here eavesdropped on our conversation this afternoon and told your wife about the money we are planning to steal. A little bird told me your dumb wife mentioned it as one of those stories Helps made up to gain fake trust. Your little darling girl here was to shoot her but she failed to do so. she has to pay the consequence"
Father heaved a sigh, walked forward ,squatted and turned Afura over.
"You mean she's not dead? " Theo withdrew the gun and pocketed it while I sat on the floor slowly.
"She is just in shock, your daughter pulled the trigger to the wall. How would we patch that up right now? What do we do to the Help because she already knows too much? We can't afford to lose all that money and you know it. " Greed. Theo's voice was full of Greed and his eyes ,resentment as he looked at me.
"What do we do to her?"
Father hugged me tight and even though I fought to be away from his touch,he pulled me closer whispering comforting words into her ears.
"We do the robbery tonight. Then I'll leave town. Get rid of the Help yourself,Theo. The money would be enough to start a life elsewhere. I'm done here" I stopped fighting and a shiver went down my spine,a shiver of fear,the fear of losing father. I might hate him so much but going away from home would never be easy to forget not that he did anything for anyone but Mother would kill her self. He was Mother's life,purpose, oxygen..he was everything.
I began to cry again and he even hugged me tighter. My tears blurred my sight but my ears heard his last words clearly.
"I'm sorry dear"