A 65years old retired banker, chief Funsho Badmus, who lives at No 5, Efaha street, secretly did DNA test for his 3 kids in a well-known hospital in Victoria Island without the knowledge of his wife. The test results came out negative for all of them; 3boys and 1 girl. The topography of the land changed course before the chief and the wave of heat in the air-conditioned room consumed him. He became so angry that he beat the children mercilessly and threw them out of the house and told them that he is not their father.

The wife, Adetutu had just come back from the market; she didn’t see any of the children. She asked her husband the whereabouts of the kids, the next thing she saw was a knife in her husband’s hand, before she could run, it was too late. The sharpness of the knife has found it thrust in and course around her coiled intestine and internal organs. It caught her uninformed!! She saw herself falling to the ground with blood oozing out from her neck.


Neighbors who heard the thunderous but fainting shout of agony rushed to the scene, held down the escaping chief, and rushed the wife to the hospital while the police were invited. Chief was writing the statement inside the DPO’s office checked his phone and when one of the policemen saw 20 missed calls from the same number. Chief could not recognize the unsaved number when it was shown to him but while they were contemplating whether to return the call, the phone ran again and he was prevailed upon to pick the call. It was the hospital that had been trying to reach him since he collected the DNA result. It turned out that due to miss-tag, he was handed the wrong result. His was positive all through, meaning all his children belong to him.

The man shouted what!!!! I am finished, tears ran from his eyes, his heart was beating fast about to jump out of his bosom, fear and pain grabbed him at once and he was ready to succumb to death but he cannot die for he must face the full wrath of the law. To complicate matters, two of his friend dashed in from the hospital where the wife was rushed to give him the breaking news. His wife died about 20minutes ago, hearing this made life jump out of him but he only fainted. He was rushed to the hospital.

WHAT HAPPENED NEXT? READ MORE @ https://www.funmbat.com.ng/2021/08/the-chiefs-nightmare-breaking-news-that.html

EPISODE 1: UNIMAGINABLE LOVE



The queue was so long and the sun was not helping matters at all. I had longed to be in the university, after 3years of seeking admission. At 19, I finally got admission into the Federal Universities of Technology, Minna. My Dad is not a big fan of private universities, even though he could afford it because he’s rich, if not I would have been in one of the private universities before now.

I was thankful for this admission, but the registration process was too strenuous.

Stress and hardship as now become a norm in this part of the country, you don’t get to do anything successfully except you are stressed and drained.

Can’t we just do the registration online and get this over with" I said in my mind.

“Excuse me” a voice interrupted my thought. Please I need to get a cold drink before I faint here, please I’m at your back, can you kindly keep this space for me, I can’t afford to start all over again when I return.”

“Sure, no problem” I replied.

“Thanks, by the way, I’m Tinuke Oni.”

“Anike Adams,” I said with a smile.

She asked if I needed anything and I told her to just get me water.

She came back a few minutes later and handed a plastic bottled water to me. I gave her money for the bottled water but she rejected it, I thanked her in return.

Finally, I was through with my registration, I was given accommodation in the school hostel. I located room 203 and entered the room.

I was surprised when I met the same Tinuke in the room unpacking. I realized she’s my roommate and fortunately for us, we are also in the same department.

The room was nice but small, though it’s a two-bedded room, we both liked it. I started unpacking too. Hoping that I’ll enjoy my stay with Tinuke.

The first day of the lecture was something else, we got to the lecture theater as early as possible, but to our surprise, the whole place was filled up.

“Tinuke, these people did not sleep in their hostels?” I asked.

“Anike, I’m as shocked as you, the lecture is to start by 8 am and this is just 7:30 which means we have to be here by 7:00 am if we want to get a sitting space” She replied.

“God! You mean we have to be here by 7:00 am for the 8 am lecture” I queried.

“Yes, unless you want us to stand all through for lectures like today.”

Since that day, we make sure we were in the lecture theater by 7 am just to secure a seat.

★★★★

I was so happy it was Friday, the first week was hectic. It has been 8 am- 5 pm all through.

“Thank God it’s Friday,” I said excitedly when we came back from lectures.

At least we can rest and eat better food for the weekend. The quickest food we had time to cook during the week was noodles, then bread.

“Which of the campus fellowship do you intend to attend?” Tinuke asked me while making dinner.

“RCF” I replied.

“RCF is OK by me too, then we can go together on Sunday.”

Sunday service was awesome, it’s always refreshing to be in the presence of God. We got back to the hostel and prepared lunch.

“I hate Mondays,” I said while devouring my lunch.

“Don’t tell me you are already thinking about tomorrow”

“Why won’t I, 8 am-6 pm lectures including practical.

“Don’t worry we’ll soon get used to the stress” she assured me.

Tinuke's phone rang, she checked the caller ID and smiled before picking the call.

After the call, I asked about her boyfriend and she told me about Sam. He lives and works in Abuja. He's 3years older than Tinuke and they've been dating for 6months now.

Tinuke wrote JAMB thrice, all because she wanted to study medicine but she was advised to accept the admission she was giving here in FUT MINNA for now, then she can cross later. She explained her plight to me.

“So you are still planning to study medicine?” I asked

“Yes, I’ll continue writing JAMB until I’m giving admission to study medicine.”

“Doctor Tinuke I wish all your dreams come through.”

“Amen, thanks.”

I noticed the guy monitors her a lot, she always gives him details of all her movements, and she confirmed that the guy is jealous and insecure.

“Your turn Anike, tell me about your boyfriend,” she said.

“Honestly I don’t have one.”

“But I do hear you make calls at night and definitely the caller is a guy.”

“You are right but the guy is my childhood friend, he calls every day because we are very close.”

“So what stops you guys from dating or does he has a girlfriend?”

“No, he doesn’t.”

“Then you guys should start something, it’s obvious you like each other. If he doesn’t like you he won’t be calling you for more than an hour every day.”

“I know we like each other but I think we are better off as friends.”

“So you have friend-zoned him abi?” she said and we both laughed. Na fahimta (I understand) she added.

“One more thing Tinuke, you must teach me Hausa o, Abuja girl.”

”Ba masala” (no problem). This is a Hausa-speaking state, don’t worry you’ll learn fast, Lagos girl” she said smiling.


******************
*EPISODE 2: UNIMAGINABLE LOVE*

Tinuke and I got along so well, we understood each other so much, I couldn’t have wished for a better roommate.

People including our course mates do tell us that we look alike. Maybe because we are of the same stature, average height, slim, dark skin, and beautiful oval-shaped face. I can’t tell who is more beautiful, people can judge that.

I was busy with my assignment while Tinuke was doing the dishes.

“Anike, How far with the assignment Dr. Chuks gave us?” Tinuke asked.

“I’m almost through. But come to think of it, some lecturers are so mean, how can he tell us to write 100 names of microorganisms and submit it under 24hours, all this stress for just 5 marks.”

She left the dishes peeped at what I was writing.

“You’ve written 80 already, I only got 48 from the textbooks I borrowed from the library.”

“You can’t get the whole 100 from the textbook, I got mine from the internet. Thank God for the internet and whoever invented copy and paste.”

“Amen Anike, You are very funny,” she said laughing.

“Jokes apart, Tinuke I’m hungry.”

“OK, I’ll fix us dinner.”

“Thanks, you are a darling,” she said smiling.

“You are welcome” I smiled back at her.

The next day, we submitted the MCB101 assignment to the course rep.

“Let’s call it a day, see you next week,” the Lecturer said and left the class.

Tinuke and I packed our books and left the class.

On our way to the hostel, we met a very fine guy, tall, fair, and looked brutish.

“Hi ladies,” he said, all smiles.

“Hi” we both chorused.

“I do see you girls around, are you twins, and you too look alike?” he asked.

“No, we are friends, but people do take us for twins and I wish we were” Tinuke answered, smiling with the guy.

“My name is Olamilekan, he said, shaking our hands one after the other.

“I’m Tinuke and she’s Anike.”

“Nice meeting you guys,” he said.

“Same here” we chorused.

“I just like you girls, you are beautiful, smart and you dress decently and I also like your names, Anike and Tinuke, you could really pass for twins.”

“Thanks for the compliments Lekan,” Tinuke said with a smile.

“I’m sorry Tinuke, I prefer you call my name in full.”

“Oh! Olamilekan noted” she said playfully.

“Thanks,” he said with a smile. Anyway, I’m a 400L Electrical engineering student.

“100L microbiology,” Tinuke said.

“And you?” he asked me.

“The same department” I replied.

“That’s cool, see you guys some other time, enjoy the rest of the day.”

“You too” we chorused.

★★★★

I ran into the same guy the following week in front of a complex in the school area.

“See who I ran into, Anike right?” he said.

“Yea, I’m good, you still remember my name?

“Of course I do, how on earth I will forget your name and that of Tinuke,” he said jokingly.

“You remember my friend’s name too! That’s cool?”

“Do you remember my name?” he asked.

“No, I don’t” I replied.

“Oh, that’s so unfair.”

“Yea, so so unfair, Olamilekan,” I said.

“So you actually remember my name,” he said smiling.

“Yes, I was just pulling your legs.”

“Good, so where is your twin sister?”

“She’s inside the complex making photocopies, I’m waiting here for her.”

Tinuke later walked up to us while we were still talking.

“Look who we have here, but I’m sorry what the name is again? She asked.

“Olamilekan” he answered and gave her a handshake.

“I’m sorry, I’m not good with names, but I won’t forget this time.”

“It’s OK, I’m happy to see you guys again. Do you mind if I pay you guys a visit?”

“No, we don’t mind, Anike can he……

“You already said yes now,” I said rolling my eyes.

“Anike, I just want to be a friend,” Olamilekan said sensing my body language.

“it’s room 203, providence hostel, we stay in the same room,” Tinuke said.

“I’ll check on you girls before the week runs out.”

“We’ll be expecting you” Tinuke replied him and he left.

“Anike what’s with that attitude, it’s like you don’t want that guy to visit us” she queried on our way to the hostel.

“My attitude!” I exclaimed and shook my head.

“Why are you shaking your head?”

“I’m shaking my head for you, you know your boyfriend is the jealous type, this one that you are inviting a guy over, me I’m not there o.”

“Mumu girl, who told you he likes me.”

“Really, so you could easily detect he doesn’t like you!”

“Yea, I can read him like a book and we’ll soon find out.”

“We’ll soon find out what? I pity you in advance, and you know the kind of boyfriend you have.”

She eyed me, unlocked the door and we both entered the room.

★★★★

We both laid on our beds busy with our phones, we heard a knock on the door. I left my bed and went to get the door.

“Anike….Hi,” he said with a smile.

“Hi, please hold on” I closed the door and went back to the room. Tinuke, can a guy come in, Olamilekan is at the door” I informed.

“Sure,” she said and adjusted her top.”

“You can come in,” I said.

We all exchanged greetings, Tinuke offered him a drink but he declined. We chatted for some time, and we all exchanged phone numbers before he left.

He also promised to stop by again.

“Tinuke, did you hear him say next time, which means he’ll be visiting again. See don’t call me if you and your boyfriend start o” I pounced on her immediately the guy left.

“Relax, he just wants to be our friend and what is so bad in that, we even need someone like him around since we are freshers. And don’t worry about my boyfriend.”

I went to the school library to borrow some textbooks, on my way out I bumped into Olamilekan.

“Anike, hi”

“Hi”

“Let me help you with that, “he said trying to collect the textbooks from me.”

“Don’t worry, thanks.”

“I insist, I’m just leaving too, so bring the books, I’ll see you off to your hostel since it's visiting hours already.”

“Ok, if you insist.” We got to the hostel, I tapped the door.

“It’s me Tinuke, can a guy come in,” I asked.

“A guy! Please hold on let me change.”

She opened the door surprised to see Olamilekan.

“Hello good evening” he greeted.

“Good evening, sorry for keeping you waiting, you can come in.”

“No problem, it’s lady's room, so I get it. I ran into Anike at the library, so I decided to walk her to the hostel.”

“That’s nice of you.”

“What can we offer you,” Anike asked.

“Water will do” he replied.

“Just water?” Tinuke questioned.

“Yes,” he nodded.

Tinuke left the room and returned with chilled bottled water.

We all chatted for a while and he made to leave.

“I’ve been here twice, when will you ladies come to visit me? Although I stay off-campus” he said.

“You just give us your address and we’ll come” Tinuke replied him.

“Sure I will and I’ll be glad if you make out time to visit.”

“Can we come this weekend?...................................................................

THE ROMANCE STORY JUST STARTED IN EPISODE 3

READ THE REMAINING EPISODES @ https://www.funmbat.com.ng/2020/10/unimaginable-love-written-by-dada.html



ROMANCE STORY FOR ROMANS

Not less than 31 legal advisors from the northern piece of the nation have shown interest in guarding the troubled Deputy Commissioner of Police, Abba Kyari, who was as of late suspended regarding a $1.1m trick including a web fraudster, Ramon Abbas popularly called Hushpuppi



This was unveiled on Wednesday by Barrister Bappah Salisu, who talked in the interest of the 31 lawful professionals from 19 Northern States.



As indicated by the assertion, the legal counselors chose to offer the free lawful support of Abba Kyari following a call by the Coalition of Northern Groups which requested that the essential common liberty of the beset police supervisor should be ensured.



The Northern gathering had settled on the decision following a prosecution by a court in the United States of America after the revelation of Abba Kyari's bind with Raman Abbas

FOR MORE ON THE STORY, VISIT: https://www.funmbat.com.ng/2021/08/hushpuppi-drama-31-northern-lawyers-to.html

EMPLOYMENT OPPORTUNITIES ARE PRESENTLY AVAILABLE AT WEMA BANK
Employment
Employment opportunities are presently available at Wema bank

Wema Bank, one of the growing Nigerian commercial financial institutions offers a range of retail and SME banking, corporate banking, treasury, trade services, and financial advisory to its ever-expanding clients. In 2009, the Bank underwent a strategic repositioning exercise which culminated in a decision to operate as a commercial Bank with regional authorization in South-South Nigeria, South-West Nigeria, Lagos, and Abuja in 2011. Below are the job opportunities available at the bank today.

it should be noted that the Application Deadline is 9th August 2021

READ MORE ABOUT THE JOB DESCRIPTION @ https://funmbat..com/2021/07/employment-opportunities-presently.html

*TREASURY DEALER

Job Summary

A Treasury Dealer works directly under the leadership of the Treasurer. Primary duties are to select the best short-term investment strategies to invest daily cash surpluses on securities exchanges and in private placements.
Job Type: Full Time
Qualification: BA/B.Sc/HND
Experience: 2 – 3 years
Location: Lagos

The results had been announced and Joe Biden defeated the incumbent president; Donald J. Trump. The former belongs to the said liberal Democratic Party while the latter is of the conservative Republican Party. The election result has spoken the mind of the majority because democracy is a government whereby the majority has a say. What actually went wrong? What turned the table around for Biden as against the polls of 2016, could it be that Trump did not win the 2016 as alleged by Hilary Clinton and democrats. These series will take us back to the “Trump’s prophecy”. Has the mind of GOD changed against the lousy and blunt Trump as it changed even against King Saul in the Bible.



In 2019, a movie was produced by Rick Eliriose titled “the last ounce of courage”. The movie is about how a man who saw by visions of the night and revelations as far back as April 2011. In The words of Mark Taylor, he said and I quote” the spirit of God said just as Benjamin Netayarhu is to Israel, so would be Trump to the Americans”. According to the spirit of God ,as revealed in the movie, the prayer chain formed to intercede for Trump victory made use of Jewish horns which were blown on the day of 2016 election. The Jewish horn is a trumpet shaped







horn that was used in the bible and still in use now. The horn is used to call for war and also to celebrate the victory of the Israelites in a war. The trumpets were blown to usher in the Trump as the president of United State of America.







Could Trump be the trumpet, whose sound was a great threat to the said SHIT HOLED countries? The Trumpet of trade war against China was obvious, the sound of the border wall was echoed throughout the world, the roaring sound of the trumpet against gay marriage, lesbianism and abortion was heard from wave the oozed out of the white house. Even Israel was blessed; Jerusalem was recognized as the capital of Israel. The trumpet really called for war against North Korean and Iran, you remember? Even our own brother was called lifeless.


READ FULL GIST @ https://funmbat..com/2020/11/president-trump-and-mystery-of-trumpet.html

A man was crying and someone asked him why he was crying. And he said I have only one son, I have done all my possible best to educate him so that he will be a great person and by God's grace he has been able *to acquire all certificates* including:



� G.C.E

� W.A.E.C

� Bachelor's

� MSc

� Phd



*BUT*

Unfortunately *he fell sick* and doctors said they can't do anything about it and the only option is to die *in the next 30 minutes* and my son told me to bring all his certificates and I brought them. All he could say was;

*father, these are my degrees but you never told me to study my Bible*.

I don't know what I'm going to tell God.


READ MORE @https://funmbat..com/2020/10/tragedy-he-had-all-certificate-but.html


Not all of us will share this message because it is not an interesting joke. But if you are courageous enough to share this message please do so and God Almighty will never forget what you have done for Him.

*PLEASE LET US TAKE NOTE OF THESE:*



�Study the Bible like the way you study your notes when it is exams time

�Fear God like the way you fear death or people in higher authority

�Remember God like you remember your name

This is the true life story of someone and a revelation of lesson to learn from a true life story

In December of 2003, Joyce Vincent died of an apparent asthma attack in her north London flat. The television was left on. The mail continued to be delivered. Her rent was set up to be automatically deducted from her bank account. The days rolled by and no one noticed she was gone.




Those days turned into weeks and the weeks into months. There were large trash dumpsters on the side of the building next to her unit, so the neighbors never thought much of the smell emanating from her flat. The floor was full of noisy kids and teenagers and no one questioned the constant thrum of television noise in the background.



Eventually, Joyce’s bank account dried up. Her landlord sent her letters of collection. These letters, like the others, simply fell into the stacks scattered about her floor. They went unanswered. Finally, with more than six months of overdue rent, the landlord got a court order to forcibly remove her from the premises. The bailiffs broke down the door, and it was only then her body was discovered. By then, it was January, 2006, more than two years after she passed away.







In that time, nobody ever came looking for Joyce Vincent. No family. No friends. No co-workers, not even neighbor knocked on the door to see if things were all right. Nobody called. Nobody checked in. imagine not seeing your neighbour for good two years and still not be concerned about him or her. She was 38-years-old when she died.



This story is not funny and could be reflected upon. It sounds strange and impossible that entire years could go by with no one noticing a person has died around you. Yet, these sorts of scenario happen frequently.

READ FULL GIST @ https://funmbat..com/2021/07/woman-found-dead-in-apartment-for-three.html

Person lives alone. They lose touch with family and friends. They never meet their neighbors. They stay shut in with their television or computer for years at a time. The world moves on as if they are no longer there until one day, they are no longer there.