₦airaland Forum

reflx:
utter rubbish!
there was a case like this where I worked and they had beaten the boy to stitches
I examined the man, while his wife was wailing!!! lo and behold he still had a penis and two testicles
I simply told them nothing has disappeared here.
the policemen then suggested the man gets it tested...I told them they could do whatever but for my medical examination nothing is missing

they later came to tell me how he "fired" two rounds at a brothel near their station!
he was promptly arrested and charged for aggravated assault and the boy became the complainant
the whole crowd that followed him and his wife then took to their heels

why cant the penis and testicles simply disappear?
our people can really be dumbos!

Richy4:
Sorry bro if I did not say what you wanted to hear... U are a man and you should know that there are different ways men react when they were heated up.....

Some walk away, some stay and have a shouting match, some beat up who ever it was that was upsetting them and regret it later....

Unfortunately your dad was among the poor third option.... I do not like that option.. but that does not make him a monster...He apologized to your mum... all u maybe need to tell him ie if you want will be that you will soon marry one day and what you were observing with their marriage will be what u might do in future....But that you were disappointed with what went down the other day.... Maybe u should let him know how that is making you feel..... Though this advise is kind of oyiboish.... but try and let it slide bro and be happy... Do not hate him.... he might love you too much in his heart that when he hear u talk about the hatred you got for him, it might break him...

Pidggin:
This world is funny, the same woman who gets punched in the face for over 25 years of marriage will be acting like she has been living in heaven on earth outwardly. If she shared her problem when these beatings started she may likely have found a solution to it.

OP, your dad may have problems with anger. It is wrong of him to beat your mother for any reason. Since you are an adult, I suggest you talk to him about the way you feel, and seek help for him. Learn to forgive but help your mum by getting help for your father, he might kill her one day if you don't

Richy4:
You will be a father one day... how will you feel when your son came up with a strong word as hate toward you.... maybe if you say you do not feel comfortable with him being around, that will be understandable.... are you gonna tell we that as an African, u spot a boy of SS2, insulting your father, or harassing him, u will just pass and ignore the whole thing.... Bro HATE is a strong word and it is not something that u use carelessly...

Your mum has forgiven your dad.... I suggest you do the same....he might have regretted his action and to err is human and I believe you know what to forgive was.....

eyinjuege:
I guess it's a natural feeling. No one likes to see the people they love being hurt by others.
It should pass with time, hopefully..
Or you can talk to your dad and tell him you were disappointed in him when he raised his hands to beat your mum, though she's his wife. No need to shout or get agitated when talking to him. Just a statement said calmly. Don't bother to talk back at him, as you've already said your piece.

dirtyslap:
I hate my dad too....no big deal...mum rocks...gimme a gun, I will shoot my dad in split seconds.

dfrost:
OP what your dad did in your presence was wrong, albeit next time they start raising their voices, take your leave else you'll end up taking sides. My one cowry of sense.

mrk74:
Thanks very much. I'm already making efforts on this though not by the same approach.

IamNawty:
preparing to go
















I thought you will say you are working in oil company ni .
Grow up and forget about what your dad . It's part of marriage palava and that will be a lesson to you that your son will feel the same way if you raise your hands to beat his mum

deeplow:
It was wrong of your dad to hit your mum, even more wrong to do it in your presence. I know it is hard, but you have to forgive him. If the victim, your mum, could, you should be able to do the same. Kpele

IamNawty:
Op, how old are you

mrk74:
I do feel that I’m a very lucky man to have a very compatible lady as my wife. We love each other so well and I strongly believe we were meant for each other. However, I have one issue. When she has issue with a suggestion, request or complain she may agree without stating or discussing her objections but will simply not take the suggestion. Sometimes she will out rightly disobey me. The result will be me complaining severally and eventually getting upset. We hardly have issues, but when we do it’s usually because of something like this. We had dated for about 3 years before marriage. We had no issue in our 1st two years. Not that there was no complain at all but we easily made adjustments to accommodate each other. But there were several instances of this kind of issues in our 3rd year and I was seriously bothered. We had a very serious misunderstanding still from this kind of issue few months before we got married. At a point I asked her if I’m difficult and she told me that I nag. It was very embarrassing but when I the dictionary definition of nagging again which states that “(of a person) constantly harassing someone to do something”, then I agreed that I did nag. Then I realized how easy a partner’s action/inaction could make the other to nag.

Just before we began the process towards marriage I had to extract commitments from her for us to avoid this kind of issues in the future. I had explained how we could have handled situations like this better and the fact that she shouldn’t make it a big deal to apologise and she agreed with me. We got married on 30th December 2015 and we have not had issues since then till few days ago. I told her to stop using an item for cooking due to the health challenge I have with the item when it much in the food. I had previously asked for her to avoid putting too much of it which she agreed but she will fail on about 2 out of 9 meals. It was when I realized she can’t moderate it appropriately I asked her to stop and add it when she eats. She agreed but still won’t stop. I then told her not to have the item in the house at all. She agreed but will still buy it and hide. Even though I had noticed the presence of the item on meals for a while but I got to find some that she had recently bought and hidden in a locker. When I confronted her on it she only argued and asked if I had noticed it being overused recently. Even when I pointed out how bad I felt about her disobeying me she will not see it as a big deal.

I’ve been cold with her for about 2 days now (We talk, but not with the typical high spirit when we are both happy). Yesterday she told me that I have been behaving abnormally and I have not told her what is wrong. Then I used the opportunity to remind her of how she has been disobeying me including that of another incident that I had just refused to be upset about. All she said was that she had agreed to stop which I’m not sure I remembered her saying so. But even if she did, how is it different from the previous instance she accepted but began to hide the item. I believe she should apologize for disobeying me but this is something that she won’t do. As far as she is concerned, she had told me she will stop and expects us to move on and there is nothing to be addressed any further.

Fellow nairalanders, what do you think about this? Is an apology for disobeying me out of place?

We had agreed before marriage not to take our issues to friends or family which I strongly uphold. But at this point, I think we should get opinion of a 3rd party hopefully we can get an objective view on this and either of us can have make necessary adjustment for us to avoid this in the future. She reads selected items that lalasticlala pushes to the front page and I hope she gets to read this too. She will definitely know it’s about us. If I don’t hear her mention seeing it on nairaland, I will deliberately lead her to the thread.

----Modified----
I notice some comments are being directed on the food incidence as if that really is the issue. Please the issue has not always been about food. It's just these last issues that have been about food. There had been an issue with her using bleaching creams, one about her refusing to apply for a sponsorship of her project by an International organization which I pushed for mainly because of the exposure she could get. There had been one about applying for her MSc in a nearby University. Except for the bleaching that she just didn't seem to believe the level of risk involved with the bleaching creams the others she simply won't express her reservation or make objections but just won't act till it becomes annoying then you will know she was not comfortable with it. Meanwhile she had given the impression that she is act or was acting on it. Till date she still regrets where she is having her about to be concluded MSc which could have been avoided if she had opened up on time about her reservation on where I had initially suggested.

The issue is actually more about her not expressing her reservation on a matter and not apologizing when she realizes that she didn't do well. Instead of showing remorse she will simply say we should move on sometimes without even wanting to address the issue.

For those who think I'm controlling. I do let her make her decisions. But I do wish she can share her objections where I make suggestions that she is not comfortable with. When I asked her to get registered for her MSc I had asked her to do so in the Federal University that is about 3mins drive from our house. But that is where she had a BSc and she was not comfortable going there for her MSc. But instead of opening up on her reservation she was just lazy about getting the form and was making enquiry about it from wrong sources till I lost my patience and insisted she go by herself. The school is very close but she didn't even need to trek down. When she got there it was already late entry but I didn't mind. It was when she should have gone to pay that she now raised her reservation but initially hanged it on someone else opinion. I didn't insist. I even tried to assisted her in finding an alternative. But by this time it was only one school that still sold forms for MSc and that is where she is schooling now.

MissHatey:
I won't be using 'cant wait' if I'm married

MissHatey:
I am mentally, physically ready to experience this 'sweet pain'

Can't wait to be a mum
Can't wait to be called a mum
Can't wait to shout at my kids
Can't wait to hold them
R u married.













I'm waiting patiently kiddos, let your dad CUMS

Jarizod:
[color=#679267] some of these ladies praying for God-fearing men are devil-incarnates..

When The Man finally comes they complain that he's too uptight..too spiritual..not FUN ENOUGH..Then they leave him because he's too *good and gentle* then they go for the G Bois and Rastas..Then those ones fvcks the sh*t out of them and eventually breaks their heart..Then they begin to shout upandan "ALL MEN ARE THE SAME" true..

AUNTY YOU ARE THE CAUSE OF UR MISFORTUNE [/color]