₦airaland Forum

SMH

JESUSBOIY:
I was taking my bath(washing my sexy body) in my expensive bathroom, i quickly fall down on the floor and broke my SOFT yarnsh



Please help

How do u poop?

Lecturer walked into the lecture room and announced that there will be an emergency test, went straight to the board, writes the instructions thus:

(1) Time is 15 minutes.

(2) No copying.

(3) No cancellation of answers.

(4) You are free to open your notes and textbooks.

(5) once it is 15 minutes, raise your pen, close your paper and walk away from your desk. He then told the students to get set, and began to dictate the questions.


(1) LIST YOUR FAVORITE FOODS. Immediately students began to list guys were writing Pounded yam , EBA, fufu, Okro soup. The girls were busy writing Pizza, Shawama , Chicken Dow-noughtts, vanilla ice cream. etc


(2) EXPLAIN HOW TO PREPARE YOUR FAVOURITE MEALS AS LISTED IN QUESTION 1. Yawa gas...... See girls and cancellation... They cancelled and started changing the number 1 question to... Dodo, Beans, Eba, Orange, Pawpaw, Egg ,Yam, Tea, Akamu, some even wrote Water... Hahahahahah eheheheheheheh Some Girls Can Form ehn!!!

.

Maturity is when you love the Villain more than the Hero

*peeping*




Yea i do....cnt remember d last time i did dat

u neva sleep abi?

*Goes back to sleep*

hahaha....dis is really funny....nairaland correction bot....ROOSTER....

A touching story.




once there was a boy who saw a cat crying meow..so he
went near and touched it and touched it again and again and again Told u it was a touching story

.

more

.

Am a fan of be like bro.....i'll b uploading sum of bro's funny pictures.....if u hv any on ur phone feel free to drop it also..

.

ever did dis?

This dog, is dog, a dog, good dog, way dog, to dog, keep dog, an dog, idiot dog, busy dog, for dog, 30 dog, seconds dog!... Now read without the word dog!

PROOF THAT THE WORLD IS NUTS....
SOMETIMES.


- In Lebanon, men are legally allowed
to have sex with animals, but the
animals must be female. Having sexual
relations with a male animal is punishable by death. (Like THAT
makes sense.)

- In Bahrain, a male doctor may legally
examine a woman's genitals, but is
prohibited from looking directly at
them during the examination. He may only see their reflection in a mirror. (Do
they look different reversed?). Muslims
are banned from looking at the
genitals of a corpse. This also applies
to undertakers. The sex organs of the
deceased must be covered with a brick or piece of wood at all times. (A
brick??)

- The penalty for masturbation in
Indonesia is decapitation. (Much
worse than "going blind!"

- There are men in Guam whose full- time job is to travel the countryside
and deflower young virgins, who pay
them for the privilege of having sex
for the first time... Reason: under Guam
law, it is expressly forbidden for
virgins to marry. (Let's just think for a minute; is there any job anywhere else
in the world that even comes close to
this?)

- In Hong Kong, a betrayed wife is
legally allowed to kill her adulterous
husband, but may only do so with her bare hands. The husband's lover, on
the other hand, may be killed in any
manner desired. (Ah! Justice!)

- Topless sales women are legal in
Liverpool, England. - but only in
tropical fish stores. (But of course!)

- In Cali, Colombia, a woman may only
have sex with her husband, and the
first time this happens, her mother
must be in the room to witness the act.
(Makes one shudder at the thought.)

- In Santa Cruz, Bolivia, it is illegal for a man to have sex with a woman and
her daughter at the same time. (I
presume this was a big enough
problem that they had to pass this
law?).

- In Maryland, it is illegal to sell condoms from vending machines with
one exception: Prophylactics may be
dispensed from a vending machine
only "in places where alcoholic
beverages are sold for consumption
on the premises." (Is this a great country or what? Not as great as
Guam!)

- Banging your head against a wall
uses 150 calories an hour. (Who
volunteers for this stuff?)
- Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure. (Is
that why Flipper was always smiling?).

- The ant can lift 50 times its own
weight, can pull 30 times its own
weight and always falls over on its
right side when intoxicated. (From drinking little bottles of...?) (Did the
govt. pay for this research??).

- Butterflies taste with their feet. (Ah,
geez.)

- An ostrich's eye is bigger than its
brain. (I know some people like that.)

- Starfish don't have brains. (I know
some people like that, too.) And, the
best for last.....

- Turtles can breathe through their
butts. (Do you think they have bad
breath?) This is crazy

25 Craziest Sex Laws From Around The World You Won't Believe Exist.

1. A person cannot have more than two dildos in his/her house in Arizona.

2. Washington D.C. allows its people to have sex in only one position – missionary.

3. A man is not allowed to kiss his wife’s breasts in Florida.

4. In Alabama, incestuous marriages are legal.

5. In Michigan, couples cannot have sex in a vehicle, unless it is parked on a property owned by them.

6. It is illegal to have sex with a porcupine in Florida.

7. A man cannot be sexually aroused in public, according to the bizarre sex laws in Indiana.

8. If you have a moustache, you cannot kiss a woman in public in Iowa.

9. It is illegal to kiss a sleeping woman in Colorado.

10. A man having sex with any woman who is not his wife is considered to be rape in Wisconsin.

11. If you pat a woman’s posterior in Norfolk, Virginia, you can be jailed for 60 days.

12. MouthAction is considered to be illegal in Florida.

13. Alabama doesn’t allow its people to buy intimacy gadgets.

14. Utah allows having sex with animals but only if it is for money.

15. You cannot sleep naked with your partner in Minnesota.

16. A law in Bakersfield, California states that one has to wear a condom while having sex with Satan.

17. In Oregon, cursing while having sex is a criminal offence.

18. You cannot have sex in a parked vehicle in London.

19. In China, women can only roam around naked in the bathroom, nowhere else.

20. You cannot get involved in any sexual activity if the lights of the room are on, in Romboch, Virginia.

21. A man cannot have sexual intercourse with a live fish in Minnesota.

22. In Oblong, Illionis you cannot make love to your partner while fishing or hunting.

23. There is a weird law in Washington , according to which, you may never have sex with a virgin, even on your wedding night. How do people ever have sex there?

24. In Cali, Colombia, mothers have to literally watch their daughters lose their virginity.

25. Nepal and Bangladesh doesn’t allow movies that show simulated sex or pelvic areas of any of the actors.
Do U have any other information about craziest sex law ? share in comments.

why ladies take selfies

* Stop saying u can't date a man, who
live with his mother, when u r dating a
man who lives with his wife.

* B4 u call a guy ugly, remember 85%
of ur beauty can be remove by a
towel.

* When u were in campus, you dated
married men, now that you got
married, u said u can't share ur man
with any woman; relax my sister, it's
pay back time

* Do not look @ what a guy drive, rather look @ what drive him.

* Pls do not wear the same weavon for
9month, Is nt a pregnancy.

* Success is nt seexually transmitted;
So stop sleeping with successful men.
Work hard.

* Most black girls u knw 5 yrs ago are
now white...why?

* 95% of girls 2day believe dat
attachment hair is better than their
natural hair.

* Some girls thinks, fixing of nails, eye lashes etc make them more sexy, but
that is Big lie! It does'nt wrk alway.

* They alway want 2 speak like
english girls each time a guy approach
them, but later end up in throwing
blunders..

* Be yoursel, be original, It pays bcz
black is BEAUTIFUL
Agreed?

Dedicated to girls


1. Not every girl wants to get married
by 23. So before you ASSUME she's of
marriageable age, ask her what her
views on marriage are. One hint, might
save you the drama- just because she does not want to get married now
does not mean she never will. She has
other plans for herself right now, let
her live a little.


2. Just because a girl wishes to do her
PhD after Masters does not mean she doesn't want to settle down in life.
Give her a break, and respect the fact
that she has the confidence to take
that up, cos yeah, PhD is no joke.
There will come a point when she
would happily devote herself to her family, and balance it out with her
work life. Her degrees, or lack of them,
won't make any difference. Let her
study while she wants to, okay?


3. Just because she is 27 and
unmarried does not mean she's been rejected by many men. Maybe, being
single is a choice she has made.


4. Having a boyfriend does not make
her characterless.


5. Just because she has recently gone
through a break up doesn't mean she is vulnerable and available.


6. Just because most of her friends are
boys, does not mean she is "having a
good time" with all of them.


7. Just because she has a drink in her
hand does not mean she is an alcoholic.


8. Just because she wore a short skirt
to one party does not mean she
dresses up that way every day.


9. Just because she is ambitious
doesn't mean she isn't a family person.


10. Just because she doesn't discuss
her plans doesn't mean she's clueless
about life. Give her a chance, alright?


11. Just because she is outspoken
doesn't mean she is a rebel.


12. Just because she comes home late from work does not mean she is
sleeping around with her colleagues.


13. After a hectic week, give her some
time to relax over the weekend. Don't
make that one weekend party make
her look like a she's a frivolous party- girl without a job.


14. Just because she is out shopping
alone does not mean she is depressed
or lonely. It's how she relaxes, respect
that.


15. Just because she is on a holiday alone does not mean she doesn't have
company. Maybe it's a break to get
back her lost confidence, or maybe
that's how she is. Admire her spirit
instead of giving her advice, okay?


16. Just because she is a woman doesn't mean she can't kick ass in
military school.


17. Just because she has a tattoo
doesn't mean she is attention seeking.
Maybe that's her way of expression.


18. Just because she doesn't know how to cook doesn't mean she won't
make a good wife. Remember when
you were just married and cooked
chicken curry which was um, a
disaster?


19. Just because she likes everything pink and shiny and fluffy doesn't
mean she lives in her own world. She
can handle some situations much
better than her male counterparts.


20. Just because she is pretty does not
mean she is a LovePeddler. And just because she is friendly does not mean she is
flirting with you.
Yes, we cry, we are emotional; we take
things personally, and sometimes
over-react to situations. But this does
not give any one the right to judge us in the wrong way. Times are changing;
don't confine her within those
boundaries, no matter how orthodox
you are. There are some who might be
fighting this losing battle, yet
compromising on their decisions and plans, just to please society.

Land heir

Op u cn neva become a Mod even ur motive nor pure!!

U nor wan move NL forward..u just wan dy ban pple...


Mayb u'll get a chance wen Jesus comes

DeLioncourt:
Please pipu, I need epp!!

Who knows how i can become a moderator??

I want to experience the hidden pleasures of banning other people and reading angry comments directed at me.

I want to ban somebody till 2020!!! Please epp me

.

hw's my own? i nor try?

Ok...remember to tel me ur feedback

Temolad:
lemme give a try

I ddnt share it bcoz it sounded jst nice

Oahray:
ok, you aren't saying it. The article is. Obviously you just pasted because it sounded nice.

D article is saying If u keep falling in love continuously and nt settle down with one or d oda it cannot lead to marriage

Oahray:
lol. The article says love is when you return empty-handed cos you kept being choosy. How can love lead to marriage when there's only one outcome for love?

Obviously wen it comes to love we wil want d best person to fall in love with dats wat d boy wanting a bigger wheat represnts

Oahray:
do you understand and agree with the article? I have questions but the op is awol. Care to stand in for him?

Question 1 - Since the article implies that love leaves us empty-handed because it makes us choosy (I wonder who told him/her that) but marriage doesn't, does that mean love cannot coexist with marriage?

Am nt saying love cnt coexist wit marriage as a matter of fact its one of d pillars of marriage

Oahray:
do you understand and agree with the article? I have questions but the op is awol. Care to stand in for him?

Question 1 - Since the article implies that love leaves us empty-handed because it makes us choosy (I wonder who told him/her that) but marriage doesn't, does that mean love cannot coexist with marriage?