₦airaland Forum

Anyone believing this news also believed Bobrisky went to prison.

The Yoruba Muslims are the most peaceful people in Nigeria🇳🇬

Trimjos:
They also need to wipe out yourba Muslims in Nigeria supporting terrorism and evil

Z

I'll suggest Osinbanjo and Obi

With all your passion i guess no club will allow you play for them without your skills and talents.

Zonefree:
No one plays football for passion again. It's all for money.

White money black tongue ...fat lie

Obi, Tinubu, Oluomo and this spoilt brat of a child already have most of what they want in life. It just me and you hustling everyday and feeding from their crumbs. Let's keep worshipping them and fighting to kill each others. With their spear of tribe and dagger of religion you can win your fellow prole.
I know one day we'll wise up, we'll fight for our right...but some of us may not make it before that day.

I think the message Goodluck Jonathan is trying to send is that Nigeria is not worth dying for.

When the real protest will come, just like the tsunami, everywhere will quake. INEC is playing with fire 🔥

I voted Obi for presidency in Ondo state, i couldn't find labour party in the other ballot papers, so i voted something different from APC and PDP.

Nice update.

How much does it cost to set it up?

Haunted Machines Speak Up!

Sandy Home Depot, a location of darkness and mystery, reported dead machinery coming to life!

“It was right next to me,” Specialty Supervisor, Glathis said to us earlier today. “I was just sitting there and it did that thing, you know the beep, wwwwhirrrrrr that some machines do? I look over and it’s all lit up, like it opened its eyes or something! Really freaked me out.”

Shortly after, machines all over the store clicked, beeped, and hummed to life. Printers, computers, phones, and especially lights!

Overhead systems activated, playing fun and catchy music. Computers started functioning normally, and everyone could see clearer than they had in ages (hours)!

“It was about time,” a hardware associate could be heard telling his coworker. “I was ready to call it quits!”

With relief, many associates got back to work, happy to have their best friend, power, back.

Though some will miss the dark, it seems this is one issue finally resolved and proven:

Zombie computers exist.

Join us in our next segment: Computer Viruses - Contagious to Humans?

See you next time!
~TR

Welcome back to Home Depot Terrors!

In this episode, be weary. Some content may make you… scream.

Just when you think you’re safe, the world is set to prove you wrong. Come, join us in our fortress of concrete and steel, where you will find

Flickering lights

Faulty computers

Sketchy phone lines

Worthless microwaves

Not-usable drinking fountains

Agitated customers

Frazzled associates

Desperate people

And much much more!

You may think you’re prepared with your battery powered iPad, fully charged phones, and full water bottles, but we warn you

it’s not enough.

Bathrooms dark, lunch cold, no workable systems, and so much more.

Eventually, your batteries will die, your water and food consumed, and you will have to pee in the dark!

Join us, if you dare.

�

Multiple Power Outages at The Home Depot Leaves Associates Lacking!

At approximately 2:30 this afternoon, Home Depot employees reported to this friendly reporter a power outage that caused significant systems to crash! Lights flickered, monitors shut down, mixers lost power, even some phones refused to function!

Employees scrambled to fix the issues, trying their usual fix-it routes to bring their machineries back to life.

Did it work?

That depends on who you ask.

A paint associate informed us their mixers still have not received power! And their computers (hooked up to be utilized in tandem with their mixing machines) are all but useless!

Thankfully, they have the Buy Online Pickup In Store, or BOPIS for short, option for mixing paint. That however, does not satisfy most customers.

Specialty associates reported their computers are still down! One such associate informed us they were in the middle of a sale during the crash, rendering their efforts and time null.

Even Assistant Managers (ASM for short) were scrambling on phones and in power rooms to restore the lifeblood of the store!

Associates at registers reported no issues at any time during the recovery process. Thank goodness for power priorities!

Thankfully, after 20 minutes of scrambling, things were slowly turning back on. One computer at a time - at Service Desk, then Specialty showrooms, and even the training room, things were turning back on. Printers, computers, phones…things were coming back to life!

Thank goodness.

However! This is not the end of their woes! For as soon as things were turning back on, darkness fell upon the store again and what was on turned off again.

Groans and cries of frustration could be heard from every orange blooded person in the building. As leaders everywhere scrambled to start fixing things again, the lights continued to flicker!

Alas, can there be no salvation from perpetual power plays? Will Home Depot be renamed Home Dark? Will associates overcome these outages? Has management finally met their match?

Check back in as updates will be posted as they come.

Have no fear, I will continue to provide staggering commentary of this conundrum, of this Technological Tragedy, this Pitiful Power Play!

Have a comment? Drop a query in the box below. If you like this post, simply hold this message and select your desired reaction. The public loves a good debate.

Until next time, Treasured Readers!

~TR

So, who is winning tonight?

[quote author=lalasticlala post=106199557]This was how Big Brother Naija Viewers voted for Housemates in the 9th week:

Saga: 1.95%

Nini: 2.16%

Queen: 9.08%

Angel: 14.63%

Pere: 25.31%

Whitemoney: 46.87%

Land

it is well

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.

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I saw this somewhere around Ikeja on Friday, May 27 and I feel like sharing it with my friends.
If I'm not wrong, on the 8th of next month will be his 18 years remembrance ...well, I think we still have more of Abacha in dis country

mrvocalprowess:
anyone wana swap with HOT NOTE PRO plus a hp mini laptop no cash with tecno J8??

guy if I win, I go swap
just help me wit som LIKE on fb

I just got my Boom j8. I NEED YOUR LIKE TO PARIS.
u can search 4 my name(Oscar Victor A) on Facebook, nd check my timeline to like my melodious song... one luv nairaland, cos if I win, na GOD WIN

Add me 08036343003; 07067546852

Jimmyo3:
Please how often is the DSS recruitment? Is it a yearly stuff? And what is the fate of OND and HND holders? Can they apply too?

yes both can apply

this must be d new LT in Engineering

OkikiOluwa1:
See Nigerians o!
U want to die in the lagoon but I ll vite Jimi Agbaje shirts is now reigning in Lagos.
Some people ll be cashing on this now...

Saw some Ibo traders in my area putting them on.
Some even said they ll wear it to their polling booth on saturday.

Last Bullet
Its creativity but the negativity it ll generate is more than the fun derived from it.
So...I appeal for peace...
Our Ibo brothers, beware of provocating some people in your host community!



Cc. Lalasticlala, over to you!
Do the needful!

I know some fools will not understand the message, this is because they only read with a tribal mind.
Buhari is not the only change we asked for. We want leadership change, administrative change... changes in all aspect. We want servants and not leaders

Don't be surprise, this relationship might just last for four years