₦airaland Forum

My curve 8 of just 2 months is mis behaving badly, looking to sell it out to get any of the z or q series, pls which would you advise I get with less drama and useage?
Thanks nlder

@floodgater:
I got the message. Thanks Sis

Floodgater:
Gleatz tell me you saw me/something.

Thanks Sis. I sent you a Pm but did not get urs. Hope u re good?

Thorpido:
Bros, I think for once, you just got everything right. My fear is what u ve communicated.
We don't worship in the same parish, btwn Feb 14 and dis day, we ve only seen once. So communication is KEY!
That zeal is not seen @ all.

God bless you and all yours.

thor=thorpido post=32812816]You know what,i think you should forget about the relationship.Even though i'm down with spiritual stuff,except you both attend the same church and are involved together in a lot of activities,you can't really know him.
Sadly,many spirikoko people are the ones making the worst of marriages nowadays.You have to form a bond through communication and if that doesn't exist,quoting scriptures won't do it.[/quote]

Thanx Sis. Would give it a trial!

Floodgater:
Gleatz dont end yet, the age difference is alright. See if he makes effort to meet your conditions. His background may be masking some potential good in him. Remember also, opposites sometimes attracts to complement.

@thorpido:
U asked what I meant by the church thingy: I mean he is always busy in the church with one prog or the other almost the other day, so one can even hardly have time to see him and discuss one on one.

@floodgater:
Sincerely I don't ve any issue with the age gap (its 8yrs diff) but the communication aspect. I can only know so much about you when line of communication is open. Apart from what I wrote here, I don't seem to know any other thing about him.
Anytime I bring up issues, he always tell me its not the right time. As am concerned, am not in a rship with him cos there is a big gap btw us. The highest chat is (how re, how was ur 9t, ve u eaten, re u @ work) etc and loads of monosyllabic replies.

I sincerely agree all he wants is a mother to the children and not a lover. And that's not the way I am wired. I am a romantic and emotional person to the extreme

As regards the church thingy I was talking about he is always busy in the church with one prog or the other, spirikoko to the letter. The whole parole is so boring for my lively person. As it stands, if he ask "will you marry me" I can't gladly and joyfully say yes. U can imagine the thing.
Already thinking of sending him message to forget abt the rship.

Thanks sis for your time.

[q:uote author=Floodgater post=32809019] A major part of the high risk she meant is that older men like that yet unmarried have issues and tend to go for younger girls they think they can easily handle, exceptions exist too. Like thorpido says, he needs a wife more than a lover hence his actions not necessary the phleg thing as phlegs love like others too. The major weight in babyosisi's statement is the age. In your heart of hearts are you comfortable with the over 10yrs difference (guessing), do you know and are you ready to go with the issues associated with such wide gap age union. As for what you fear concerning the church thing, i wrote something on page 91 about it. I still think she would not have expressly adviced in that direction if he was younger.[/quote]

@BabyMama, I am confused.
The church thingy is masking so much. Can't still fathom it.

babyosisi:
Give who time?
So that he clocks 40 plus
He has no time o
I will advise her to start looking elsewhere
This man sounds high risk
What will she teach a 38 year old man Bikonu

Iwatch
I feel your pain dearly. Your story is a confirmation that assumption does not no good in any kind of rship whatsoever. My MD can skin you alive for assumption thingy.

When I broke up with my ex, I tot I wud never again be fine and that the male folks re in trouble, but na lie cos funny all the best friends I ve are all guys.

All I will tell you if she is bent on letting go, try and let go too. Nobody is this life is indispensable, all it would take is time. Don't be hard on yoursef dude, she might just be placed on track to teach you this specific lesson that would be very useful in your subsequent rships @ all levels of life¥
There re better ladies ou there, so take ur time, heal up, forgive ursef and set out to find your soul mate again.

Remember" Not everybody that you date, is good for you for a life time" sometimes what's best for us does not come in packages we envisage.
Chill bro. Its well. Better days just ahead.

@ onyeEgo, I serious oooo but ur post brought laughter to my face.
Does it mean phlegs don't show love and communicate well.
I fear una oooo.
Am still giving it a trial, don't just know how to go about it any longer. Help ur sister na #winks#

Iwatch, what's the matter?
Can we help?

iwatch:
I am in pains and in regrets

I also think he wants to settle down because of his age and needs a wife more than he needs a lover.

Exactly my fears bro. Wud do as you recommended.

Thanks bro

thorpido:
@gleatz,
I wouldn't say you should drop him now,give it some time.He is 38yrs as you said and at that age,he is very well matured.Many men of his age don't get on phones that frequently.His personality also matters.You have to teach him if he is willing to learn.
I also think he wants to settle down because of his age and needs a wife more than he needs a lover.

Just give it time and see if it gets better.

Waoh, never knew I was over reacting sha. He quiet person though and meek when it comes to temparement. We ve not had any major quarell. For d time being, I feel he is slacking. I am a very interesting person with very versatile knowledge.
Do you know @ a point, I stopped calling or chat/sms, cos he was not just forthcoming. When he saw I was serious with not calling, he den started chatting a bit. But you can't tell me u re busy or tired everyday and u wnt even put a call across once in a day to check on ur babe whereas he will be online sometimes till late @ 9t. So do you see where I am coming from?
I am into medics but I still make out time for those who mean the world to me.

GoldenDr, the are of interest of him I know is footbal and church (am a football lover mysef). You can only know someone to bit when there is optimum communication, but its not so.

Flooddgater: babe the matter tire me sincerely. The condition option seems to be the only way out now from all indication. Sometimes I have to say it loud, but most times he would start it up and stop it along the line. Arrghn how long would one continue. Temparamental, he is a meek person, reserved a bit but on major social medium.

I just want to see if I can give him some push and if he would turn around positively, if not I might not be able to cope(instead of turning a nagging woman)

Thanks

Sorry, you have been disqualified from the Elite Employee Quest.

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Am into Medics though, chose Management.

Dapsy4U et Floodgater;
Thanks for your contribution. One thing I promised mysef is never to make any excuse for any guy, not again.

This is d pix painted before me, ve known him way back in sch but not until 2yrs ago dat he started asking me out. He's been a church person though but am gonna look beyound d church thingy and concentrate on his personality more, exactly where I ve a prob with him.

Someone like me who thrive well in the atmosphere of utmost care, love, attention and mutual respect is not finding dis whole thing funny.
How can you be wooing me for 2yrs and after I said ok let's give it a trial, u relax and expect me to do the lovey dovey while u be @ d receiving end. Between Feb 14 and dis day, I can count visibly the no of times he has put a call across. Chatting na by force. This is a 38yr old guy for crying out loud. Younger guys wnt even do such. Work, church, home (and football) is his routine, in this same lagos that d tfare won't be more than 1k.
Anytime I try bringing up such issues, says its not right timing, I should wait till when we see, when we've only met once. Arrggghhhhh, I cherish communication to its tiny bits, but here its 10%.
Am begining to think all he want is a woman who will bear him children and not a wife in the real sense. He is so ready to settle down before the year runs out but that connection is not there. That all the love and attention I needzn he will surely give to me when we marry (that one na talk? What you cnt convince me of Now).

I had once told him, a day is coming when he would ping/call and I will be no where to Be found and he will be in d rship all by himsef, whereas I don waka go. His reply is that I should teach him, and am doing that by calling, sending sms, showing concern and care but sincerely he is not measuring up.

That's d dilema @ hand. Me, I don't know if am expecting so much ooo my peeps.

I am not perfect and not looking for one either but basic things matters na (them say sunday wey go make brain, na from saturday night we go know)

My Good People, ve missed our discussion for sometime. Where all of una hide, election is over and thank God we did not enter the lagoon as prescribed by the Oba of Lagos, so come out all

Pls house, what would you advise a lady that got a new guy (funny enof he's been asking me out for over 2yrs, but was in a rship then). Now I gave him a trial, we started talking, visited once and read all his epistle to me. Told him to give me time to get to study him bf accepting his proposals.

But me no understand his busy nature, he rarely calls. We do chat. Sometimes I just get angry and dnt call/chat. After warning him recently he started chatting frequently.

I am of d opinion that if you truly love someone as u professed, then nothing should be too busy for you to forget that person for a day. Am I on d right track or over reacting? Ideas on how to give him a push without sounding desperate? Abi, how una see this matter?

Seen it used for Salad way back in Jos. The first time I saw it too. Not sweet, not bitter, just there. So Reddish.

tchidi:
Hi!


I went to the market today and stumbled on one stuff that the Hausa man called 'bitrus', I later discovered the name is beetroot. Here's my question, what can i prepare with it?? Onye Hausa say make i put for my jollof rice, but I doubt. Any ideas?

@MathDiva:
In all sincerity I do not see in you a desperate soul but a good lady with a large heart.
I wish we can all know the hearts of men, what a much more beautiful world we would be living in. When you give selflessly, you are perceived as a desperate gal and when you restrain you are perceived as a stingy or someone who won't want to support any man.

Haba! Guys cut us some slack now. You are not alone in your thought gal, after my break up last year I started borning the same idea of just adopting kids say two, take care of them lovingly and take care of my siblings. But I wish its that easy gal! What a society we live in.

Babe, take some chill pills and relax your nreves. You actually need time to gain ur sanity back, clear your head, re-strategize and set your priorities right once and for all. A priest friend told me sometimes what God has in stock for us don't come in the package we envisage. The guys who had come your way were never yours and that's why it never worked. Now, do these for yourself, get a sheet of paper, rule it into 2, one side for Deal and Deal breaker, write down what you sincerely want in a Man who would eventualy be ur hubby and on the other qualities You won't want around you. These will guide you in making your choices before love enters into your eyes.

I won't ask you to stop being a gal with large heart but as it stands now, pls reduce the rate @ whc you spend on guys (some of them don't worth it sincerely). Spoil yoursef instead with ur money, make investments so that when the need arises for the cash, you would have it handy. When anyone comes and starts d wedding talk, don't be too anxious and @ d same time don't be repulsive too, take your time.

Above all, be closer to God at this time, commit all these into His hands, Visit the Blessed Sacrament if you can, pour your heart to Him, I assure you just soonest you will rejoice and see the reasons it never worked out with others. God loves you that's why he did not allow you end up with the guys. Calm down and look into yoursef too, are there attitudes you re projecting that are not too good, now is d time to work on them.

May the balm of gilead through the intercession of our Mother Mary soothe your pain, grant your heart desires and gives all singles out there looking up to Him for partners, soul mates after His own heart (Amen).
Its well dearie

mathdiva:
Hi all,
I am going to share my story and see if something comes out of it. I am 30 years and work in an oil company, am also a very devout Catholic and I want to marry a catholic. But it’s been horror stories with all my catholic bfs. I met one in my office and after dating for 3 months he just calls me up and says he thinks we are rushing things blah blah and we should give it time this happened after sex which I initiated and I had just returned from trip abroad where I know I really splurged on buying him stuff (just saying this in case it helps).My last guy apparently wasn’t my guy the way I thought, after 4 months of seeing some behaviours, I asked him one day to say what I was to him, and he told me that he saw me as a very dear friend. After that I stopped calling and he stopped too, except for when he comes to phc and calls me to come see him in his hotel. (I don’t go)
I think I have been equating sex with commitment and most times its just sex to the guy. My girlfriend says I love too much from the beginning and that scares guys off or makes them think am desperate. She also said buying expensive stuff or surprise gifts for guys as a rich babe gives them the impression you are trying to buy their love, meanwhile if it was a student of a lower income earning babe they would see it as a sacrifice on her part or proof of love.
There was this guy who came talking marriage and we communicated for 6months. He had some projects running with lekki gardens and he wanted me to support it. I told him I was ready to do that but that would be after the white wedding, he was hinting at introduction then, after preaching to me a sermon on trust and submission, he told me that this was a test to see if I was one of those women who want to control a man. Apparently I filed because he is marrying someone else (a recent corper by the way), when I called him to congratulate. He said he didn’t want a situation where his position as the man was undermined. I was depressed for 2 days, I went to school, studied so hard to come out with a good grade, got a good job and now its like I have to keep proving myself. I have considered adopting, at least let me hold one child….its just my dad who keeps frowning when I mention it.
Am happy right now…but since I live in Nigeria where people do not believe you can be happy while single , I always have to defend or argue or plain insult.

@EfemenaXY
Aunty Efe, no be small thing ooooo. Some guys can be very annoying. They need that thunder firing to reset their destinies.

EfemenaXY:
Now this is just too funny!

How do you lot dream up such insults?

I'm still trying to picture the generation doing serious press ups in the shrine while thunder strikes their ancestor (probably in an open field?)

Girl, abeg it's Sunday nah...

Naivety I quite agree with you! Some dnt ve the greed factor in them though

thorpido:
Naivety,greed,lust.......and desperation at a stage when age becomes a factor.
To be good does not stop one from having the above.

@Moca
This leads me to the question "why does the so-called ladies and gus fall into the hands of wrong partners?"

Its so sadening seeing this hapenn. What coud just be the reason

Cc: All

Chai, I sincerely feel this woman's pain. Some stupid things we do for love.
That guy, the thunder that will strike him and his generation is still doing press up in Amadioha shrine, believe me.

moca:
There was this lady friend of mine when I was an underG.
She is well established and the only thing was marriage.
She now met a man. Handsome to a fault with politician's kinda mouth.
Affair started. My guy knows what d lady wanted and proposed.
She accepted. We were all delighted.
If my guy wanna enter town,he will call my lady and tell her what he would like to eat.
My lady will leave her shop and go a cooking (lol)
Now my inquisitive nature went to work.
My guy said he works in so so and so in PH. I know that place like the back of my palm and I called some guys to check him up.
It was lie. I told my lady.
The guy will enter town and won't visit her at her shop but will go and drink with friends, then midnight he will show. then my friend will present whatever she cooked.
One night, a friend of the guy called mmy lady asking she should give my guy phone so they will chat. She did.
And told me. I started thinking"is this not a set up. Told her my fears and everything.
She went and told the guy every single thing I said. He even said he is running for a political post and borrowed money from this chic.
Lots of things. That was how this lady cut me off from her life and even set me up.
(we were like sisters,so close)
Fast forward,i graduated and left.
Went back to process my result and heard that d guy is now married to one school worker. The lady bought a car for him.
Mi lady is still single and searching after 6 yrs.
So heartbreaking cos she is a very good gal.
Should be in early forties now.

So gals, read in between lines. I love u and good sexx is very easy to come by.
If u see any handwriting on the wall, pick up ur shoe and tear race.
Love is everywhere. U can also get good and quality sexx everywhere.

Distance should never be an excuse to cheat for a sensible and responsible being who understands what it means to be in love truly!

Don't allow him use emotional blackmail on you by saying its distance or that if he never told you, you wouldn't know!

Chaz B of blessed memory will say shine your eyes!

You know him better so pls do as you can deal with!

Serenity22
post=32026469:
we'll be 4yrs october dis year. Distance is a 12hr trip to n fro

@serenity;
pls darling, dont make same mistakes i made some times ago. as it stands, this guy is an unrepentant flirt and remember you cant change any full grown adult unless the person so wish to change.
how long more would he continue in this manner, hurts your feelings while he comes back to say "i am sorry"

i wonder if people truly know the meaning of "i am sorry"? why tell me you are sorry when ur next exscapade will be worst than the one you are sorry about.

its obvious this guy has got so many gals in his life, can you deal with it? he is not ready to hurt the other gals but can hurt you and say sorry, can you deal with that?
you cant trust him again even wen he's telling the truth, can you deal with it? every truth and lies now seems to you as lie.

in serenity of heart, babe you need your sanity badly. if you can deal with d afore mentioned, give him some time and see IF he will change for the better or if you can endure his naughtinesss, but if not the time to leave is NOW!

My ex once told me "is it not better he flirts and cheats now, then when we re married, he would stop and concentrate on me". Me i mumuishly accepted cos of the numbers of years we ve been together, but i was loosing it completely and until i caught him red handed, it then dawned on me that i cant cope. we deserve the best and that we shall settle for!

Follow your head now, God is your strenght dearie.

Serenity22:
funny tin is he blames everytin on distance. My head says leave he's a flirt but my heart says stay afterall he is truly repentant dats why he came out himself. I am very confused

Pls do my dear.
Whatever "don't use big words meant" I can't seem to fathom that. Re schedule this meeting and its just the right thing to do. You need your guy as your shield, comfort, confidante, solace and partner in crime in this visist.

All the best!

Preternatura1:
You know I thought about the language thing and he said she will understand most of what I will say, only that I shouldn't use big words(whatever that means),anyways I'll call and apologize for not being able to make it.

Babe;
Personnaly I don't subscribe to visiting my guy's house when he is not there with especially when am not yet married to the house yet.

You ve made ur plans already and guy is out to Dubia, pls kindly and sofltly tell him you woulde love to visit the mum when he returns back. Is he gonna spend eternity in Dubia, No, I guess.

This is a woman that you that even understand the language she speaks, hiw would you communicate? You have your fears already, who would be there to correct you or put you in the know when u re about making some mistakes? Having him around would go a long way in making you free ursef and do stuffs well.
Funny enough, yoou are going to spend like 3 days with her, not just a night or day, pls let him be around then you would visit together.

Preternatura1:
Hi everyone, how are you all? trust you've been well, had to take a break for sometime, it's been super busy, glad I could find time to be here today.


So I implemented what I was able to garner from here, I will be veracious, it's not been as easy as I anticipated, who knew chores could take so much time? I missed a flight because I was cleaning, I was so engrossed, I didn't realize how much time had gone by, I'm sorry if this is going to disappoint you but I'm sticking to a maid, I'm going to keep doing some ofcourse, but it's too much work, I had to give my maid a raise.

My man and I have been alright, we met my parents for dinner last Saturday eve, went well,but mother kept asking him questions, so many that I had to ask her to stop(I unofficially confided in her his intentions, though I've not told him I've decided I can marry him)guess she was just really curious, anyway, he kept asking why mother was asking so many questions, I had to tell him, he smiled and made a joke about it.

I have chatted with mother over the phone since then, but not once,did she bring him up and I'm wondering, why? I don't really want to ask her but if I know my mother like I think I do, she has reservations, or am I just over thinking it? I probably am.

Anyways the issue now, is that, he told to his mum, his thoughts towards me and she wants me to come spend the easter holiday with her, I already made plans to go on a trip with some friends as he is going to dubai, and I don't know that I can spend 3 days alone with her, being as it is that, she barely speaks the English language and I speak almost no Igbo, he says we'll be fine, he'll be very happy if I do this, he thinks it's also a good idea and she wants to get to know me. I don't know if this is a good idea, I also don't want to cancel on my friends, I ordinarily would have objected since I already made plans, but it's his mum, I don't also want to upset him, another thing is that I'm disquieted by this, there are many stories here on MILS and how scary they can be, what if we don't get along? What if she doesn't like me? What will I do about food?

What do you think I should do? Would it be a problem if I don't go?

Herz, Congrats. What I sweet news I woke up with this morning. May God perfect all that's remaining to make ur dreams come true.

Girlie, congrats

Dreamsinbc:
Yum. Did you just make it like regular pottage?

Yes, the only thing different is that I exchanged yam for cocoyam. With enough Onions, crayfish and fresh pepper.

@Ichidodo;
I understand your plight but I want to plead on behalf of your babe. Why not give her some time, say after her NYSC and see her approach and attitude to life, give her a benefit of doubt and let's see if she would turn around for good.

Sometimes when we have all we wants @ our disposal we tend to think that's how life is. For example, I enjoyed so much luxury while in school courtesy of my father cos as at then, I was the only one in the university. But when my 3 siblings gained admission almost at the same time, they had to share what I was enjoying. It was then it dawned on me that Dada can't give me all I ever wanted.

For years now, I ve been working and fending for mysef and even give to my siblings and sometimes my parents. Its a phase. Now I can't see mysef being a full time housewife doing nothing, being @ the mercy of my hubby(in future) for every damn need

I hope she would see reasons with you soonest and change for the better.

veave:
Please guys pray for me. I'm almost getting depressed






I've been on this thing on my project for weeks now and am not getting any headway.

Veave darling, its well with your soul. Just do the much you can @ a particular time, dnt sweat it, ok.
It will end in praise, I trust God for a miracle. God is ur muscle babe.

dinachi:
Scam alert! The OP is a discredited liar who sells her fake lifestyle for a living. Every single thing that comes out of her mouth in respect of her marriage is a fabricated story. Her marriage is hell on earth.

Chai! Chisos!! Who do you like this and who has made you judge over her marriage? Stop hating!

Cocoyam pottage for lunch, for all foodies in the house.