₦airaland Forum

, i dey cry more dey go, as una never know the answers

i dey wait 4 clemcykul, to tell me his own answer oh oo

shoooooooo, well i no sure say na the answer oh oo, until i get more replies from nairaland members. because my teacher no dey gree at times oh ooo. , cemckay, i dey wait ur reply oh ooo

oh i 4 get to tell una, say, i dey lagos now, my lagos number na, 08081007885. my yahoo ID chat is, goldenval2004. na next week, i go go back to ghana oh ooo,

oh i think, is honey, Abi na, sugar, no, my friend answer sugar, hummm, this question pass me oh oo

one day, a teacher ask his student a question and said, Who will tell me the sweetest thing in this earth?. the first person raise his hand up and answered," SWEET", teacher said no, next person pls, another person said, sugar cain, and the teacher said no, infact all the student have mention all the sweetest things they know on this earth but still didn't get the answer.

One student raised his 2 hands up and said, " teachaer!, teacher!!, teacher!!!, hummmm, i know the answer oh oooo, teacher said, yes, what is the answer?, the boy said, hummmmm, teacher, can i say it out or should i write it on the paper?, teacher said, say it out so that other people will know the answer, the boy still said, hummmmm,,,,,teacher, teacher, if i say it out, are you going to flog me hard or soft?, teacher said, oh, answer it now, i can't flog you, the boy said, teacher, if i said it, will you report it to my parents?,, teacher said no, i won't report it to them,


now i no say, all of una here in nairaland done open una ears wide make una know the answer, well i was amoung the student too, please who will help me talk the answer now? , please am waiting so that i can report back to school by next week.


hummmm, this goldenval self, ur tears done make you dey fail your answers

Look, tomorrow I will be in Nigeria, can u give me ur number pls? so that I can make you my pal lol

And the opposite of fools is what?, still don’t know the answer, and opposite of old age is what?, hahahahahahahahaaa dem dem!

And the opposite of fools is what?, still don’t know the answer, and opposite of old age is what?, hahahahahahahahaaa dem dem!

Small small boys. I mean dem dem, like to vex so much, they are not man enough lol, am 87 years now. lol

Pls this JOKE ROOM is meant for old guys and ladies, not small small boys like, dem dem, I can’t shout, small talk here, dem go start to vex oh oooo, just because I ask am say, what is opposite of success  is what?, and he started to abuse his master

And opposite of HELL is what?, mr success, Nigeria man!

Don’t mind him because I ask him what is the opposite of success, and he started to abuse his creator! lol

U better change it to, HELP ME!!!!, because is like ur dealing on EGOLD lol,

Opposite of success? Is what, may be you can help me answer that,

Q. Which sexual position produces the ugliest children?
A. Ask your mother.

Q. How do you embarrass an archeologist?
A. Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from.

Q. What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?
A. Wiped his ass.

Q. What's the difference between MouthAction & anal sex?
A. MouthAction makes your day, anal sex makes your hole weak.

Q. What's the difference between a bitch and a LovePeddler?
A. A LovePeddler sleeps with everybody at the party, and a bitch sleeps with everybody at the party except you.

Q. What's the difference between love, true love, and showing off?
A. Spitting, swallowing and gargling

Q. What's so good about an Ethiopian Mouth Action?
A. You know she'll swallow.

Q. What's the difference between a Catholic wife and a Jewish wife?
A. A Catholic wife has real orgasms and fake jewelry.

Q. How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. Two. The hard part is getting them in the light bulb.

Q. When is a pixie not a pixie?
A. When he's got his head up a fairy's skirt, then he's a goblin.'

Q. What's the definition of a Yankee?
A. Same thing as a "quickie,"only you do it yourself.

Q. What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
A. The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.

Q. What is the biggest problem for an atheist?
A. No one to talk to during orgasm.

Q. What do you call a smart blonde?
A. A golden retriever.

Q. What do you call an Amish guy with his hand up a horse's ass?
A. A mechanic!

Q. Who is the most popular guy at the nudist colony?
A. The guy who can carry a cup of coffee in each hand and a dozen donuts.

Q. Who is the most popular girl at the nudist colony?
A. She is the one who can eat the last donut!

Q. How can you tell which is the head nurse?
A. The one with the dirty knees.

Q. What is the difference between a battery and a woman?
A. A battery has a positive side.

Q. A brunette, a blonde, and a redhead are all in third grade:Who has the biggest tits?
A. The blonde, because she's 18.

Q. Why do men snore when they lay on their backs?
A. Because their balls fall over their asshole and they vapor lock.

Q. The three words most hated by men during sex?
A. "Are you In?" or "Is It In?"

Q. Three words women hate to hear when having sex
A. "Honey, I'm home!"

Q. Why do men take showers instead of baths?
A. Pissing in the bath is disgusting.

Q. Did you hear about the new paint called "Blonde" paint?
A. It's not very bright, but it spreads easy.

Q. Do you know why they call it the Wonder Bra?
A. When you take it off you wonder where her tits went,

Q. When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep.
A. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.

Q. How can you tell a macho women?
A. She rolls her own tampons.

Q: What's the leading cause of death among lesbians?
A: Hair balls.

Q: What's good on a pizza, but bad on a pussy?
A: Crust.

Q: Why does Miss Piggy douche with honey?
A: Because Kermit loves sweet and sour pork.

I don’t think so because this one na the remix type lol

dflash I forgot to tell you that am an old guy, 87 years old, my manhood is very weak, can’t perform very well again, so I use my head or my walking stick in you don’t mind, I can’t shout

Wow!, finally, I have seen a lover in this room, I will call you when I come back to lagos tomorrow because rite now am still in Accra. AKWABA in Ghana language means , WELCOME!, keep it up jooooooo maybe you will help me to dry my tears

I better choose bad girls because they can give me what I want anytime anyday

Good girls say "thanks for a wonderful dinner",
Bad girls say, "what's for breakfast?"

Good girls never go after another girl's man,
Bad girls go after him AND his brother.

Good girls wear white cotton panties,
Bad girls don't wear any.

Good girls wax their floors,
Bad girls wax their bikini lines.

Good girls loosen a few buttons when it's hot,
Bad girls make it hot by loosening a few buttons.

Good girls make chicken for dinner,
Bad girls make reservations.

Good girls blush during bedrooms scenes in movies,
Bad girls know they could do better.

Good girls never consider sleeping with the boss,
Bad girls never do either, unless he's very, very rich.

Good girls believe you're not fully dressed without a strand of pearls,
Bad girls believe that you are fully dressed with JUST a strand of pearls.

Good girls love italian food,
Bad girls love italian waiters

BOY : Since we met, I can't eat or drink,
GIRL : Why not ??
BOY : I'm broke.

BOY : May I hold your hand??
GIRL : No thanks, it isn't heavy.

GIRL : Who was that girl I saw you kissing last night??
BOY : What time was it??

GIRL : Say you love me! Say you love me!
BOY : You love me,

GIRL : If we become engaged will you give me a ring??
BOY : Sure, what's your phone number??

GIRL : Darling, I want to dance like this forever,
BOY : Don't you ever want to improve??

BOY : I love you and I could die for you!
GIRL : How soon??

SHARON : Have you ever had a hot passionate, burning kiss??
TRACY : I did once. He'd forgotten to take the cigarette out of his mouth.

Man : You remind me of the sea.
Woman : Because I'm wild, romantic and exciting?
Man : NO, because you make me sick.

Wife : You tell a man something, it goes in one ear and comes out
of the other.
Husband : You tell a woman something: It goes in both ears and comes out of the mouth.

Mary : John says I'm pretty. Andy says I'm ugly. What do u think, Peter?
Peter : A bit of both. I think you're pretty ugly.

Jimmy : Mom, can I have two piece of cake?
Mom : Certainly. Take this piece and cut it in two.

Sam : I hate to see a girl standing in a bus when I comfortable seated.
Lily : So what do you do?
Sam : I close my eyes.

Teacher : Have you given the goldfish fresh water?
Pupil : No, Sir. They haven't finished the water I gave them last week.

Mom : Why are you wiping the floor with that cake?
Son : Well, it's a sponge cake, isn't it?

It was Christmas and the judge was in a benevolent mood as he questioned the prisoner. "What are you charged with?" he asked.
"Doing my Christmas shopping early," replied the defendant.
"That's no offense," replied the judge. "How early were you doing this shopping?"
"Before the store opened," countered the prisoner

ENGLISH PHRASE----------------------CHINESE TRANSLATION

Are you harboring a fugitive?--------Hu Yu Hai Ding?

See me A.S.A.P.----------------------Kum Hia Nao

Stupid Man---------------------------Dum Gai

Small Horse--------------------------Tai Ni Po Ni

Your price is too high!!-------------No Bai Dam Thing!!

Did you go to the beach?-------------Wai Yu So Tan?

I bumped into a coffee table---------Ai Bang Mai Ni

I think you need a facelift----------Chin Tu Fat

It's very dark in here---------------Wai So Dim?

Has your flight been delayed?--------Hao Long Wei Ting?

An unauthorized execution------------Lin Ching

I thought you were on a diet---------Wai Yu Mun Ching?

This is a tow away zone---------------No Pah King

You are not very bright---------------Yu So Dum

I got this for free-------------------Ai No Pei

I am not guilty-----------------------Wai Hang Mi?

Please, stay a while longer-----------Wai Go Nao?

Our meeting was scheduled next week---Wai Yu Kum Nao

They have arrived---------------------Hia Dei Kum

Stay out of sight---------------------Lei Lo

He's cleaning his automobile----------Wa Shing Ka

Your body odor is offensive-----------Hu Man Go!

Pew! does this bathroom stink!--------Hu Flung Dung?

I believe I can fly, I believe I can feel you 2 nite, everytime I call you on phone, u always ask me to send you mtn card 1500 own, but u never give me what I want, but today na today, I no go gree again, do u na him I want today. Pay back time