₦airaland Forum

Eebrahym:
Unfortunately, you are smilling, not crying

so, Buhari is not coming

Haha! she is happy he will surely come.

Buhari Please Come to our house!
Mummy is Corrupt and Daddy is covering up for her!!!
The bail out for my diapers and milk is being diverted to airtime credit, suya, lipstick, and gym!!!
Can you imagine that
When I start screaming they will say I am cry-cry baby!!!

RIP

When is the date of reporting at orientation camps for batch A stream1 2016?

(why is it that when men sleep around, they’re studs , yet when women sleep around, they’re sluts ?)

@OP! U will continue asking this question without having an answer to it. That's why u should be afraid of ur future as woman concern.

BrightEye:
Here are 7 words Nigerians use every day which don’t exist. These are the kind of words you type into your phone or computer and it draws a red line underneath it. Please read on and educate yourself.

(1.) GO- SLOW Although the word ‘go-slow’ appears in the dictionary, it is wrongly used by many Nigerians. The word go-slow means a form of industrial action in which work or progress is deliberately delayed or slowed down. It does not mean congested traffic, so it is wrong to use it in that way.

(2.) INSTALMENTALLY There is no such word in the English dictionary, this word exists only in the Nigerian edition dictionary (if such a book exists). The correct thing to say is ‘in installments’

(3.) OPPORTUNED How many times do you say ‘I was not opportuned to come’? The correct variants that exist are ‘opporteune’ or ‘opportunity’. The word ‘opportune’ has no past tense.

(4.) CUNNY “That guy is very cunny”. This is wrong, the word is ‘cunning’, not cunny. If you want to refer to someone who is sly or deceitful, use the word ‘cunning’, ‘cunny’ simply does not exist.

(5.) WAKE-KEEPING I’m sure most people will argue with this, but argue as you may, what you will find in the dictionary is ‘wake- keep’. (

6.) SCREENTOUCH PHONE Oyinbo people made these devices and called it ‘touchscreen’, by the time the phones go enter Naija, we rename them ‘screen touch’

(7.) DISVIRGIN No, you did not dis virgin that babe, you deflowered her, you took away her virginity, but you certainly did not disvirgin her, because the word ‘disvirgin’ simply does not exist!

http://kokofeed.com/2015/02/12/7-popular-words-nigerians-use-everyday-that-are-not-in-the-dictionary/

@ op check my screen shot below, u tried but got it wrong with the word disvirging, my dictionary have it.

The capitalist way of iPhone is annoying: Android all the way.

madridguy:
Rev. Mbaka, You are truly an hero. Ride on the one and only man of GOD in South-East.

Not an hero, rather a hero.

Watermelon, also known as Citrullus lanatus is a plant species in the family Cucurbitaceae with smooth green skin, pulp, and watery juice. The vine-like flowering plant is a nutrient dense food with contains a high amount of vitamins, minerals and antioxidants for a low amount of calories. Here are some facts about watermelon that might surprise you.
Wild watermelons originated in southern Africa.
There are more than 1200 varieties of watermelon that come in various weights, shapes, sizes and colours.
The colours are; Red, orange, yellow and white.
Key commercial varieties of watermelon include the Carolina Cross, Yellow Crimson, Orangeglo, Moon & Stars, Cream of Saskatchewan, Melitopolski, and Densuke.
Farmers in Japan have started growing cube-shaped watermelons by growing them in glass boxes where they assume the shape of the box. Originally this was done to make the melons easier to stack and store, but the novelty of the cubic watermelon can fetch double the price of a normal one at market
Watermelon is a fruit and a vegetable too. It is a vegetable because it is a member of the same family as the cucumber, pumpkin and squash. It is also harvested and cleared from fields like other vine growing vegetables.
You can eat watermelon rind and seeds. All parts of a watermelon can be eaten, even the rind, which actually contains a number of nutrients too, but due to the unappealing flavour, it is rarely eaten. In China, the rind is used as a vegetable and stir-fried, stewed or pickled. Try putting it in a blender with some lime for a healthy, refreshing treat. Not only does the rind contain plenty of health-promoting and blood-building chlorophyll, but the rind also contains more of the amino acid citrulline than the pink flesh. Same goes for the seeds; you can just consume them as snacks in between your meals.
Nutritionally, watermelons contain high levels of vitamin B6 (which increases brain power), vitamin A (good for eyesight), potassium (which helps in curing heart disease and keeping the heart healthy). The watermelon also contains Vitamin B1, C and manganese which protect against infections.
By weight, a watermelon contains about 6% sugar and 92% water . The high water and electrolyte content of watermelons make them ideal as a refreshing summer thrust quenchers. They keep us hydrated, our skin fresh, and can clean the kidneys of Watermelon, also known as Citrullus lanatus is a plant species in the family Cucurbitaceae with smooth green skin, pulp, and watery juice. The vine-like flowering plant is a nutrient dense food with contains a high amount of vitamins, minerals and antioxidants for a low amount of calories. Here are some facts about watermelon that might surprise you.
Wild watermelons originated in southern Africa.
There are more than 1200 varieties of watermelon that come in various weights, shapes, sizes and colours.
The colours are; Red, orange, yellow and white.
Key commercial varieties of watermelon include the Carolina Cross, Yellow Crimson, Orangeglo, Moon & Stars, Cream of Saskatchewan, Melitopolski, and Densuke.
Farmers in Japan have started growing cube-shaped watermelons by growing them in glass boxes where they assume the shape of the box. Originally this was done to make the melons easier to stack and store, but the novelty of the cubic watermelon can fetch double the price of a normal one at market
Watermelon is a fruit and a vegetable too. It is a vegetable because it is a member of the same family as the cucumber, pumpkin and squash. It is also harvested and cleared from fields like other vine growing vegetables.
You can eat watermelon rind and seeds. All parts of a watermelon can be eaten, even the rind, which actually contains a number of nutrients too, but due to the unappealing flavour, it is rarely eaten. In China, the rind is used as a vegetable and stir-fried, stewed or pickled. Try putting it in a blender with some lime for a healthy, refreshing treat. Not only does the rind contain plenty of health-promoting and blood-building chlorophyll, but the rind also contains more of the amino acid citrulline than the pink flesh. Same goes for the seeds; you can just consume them as snacks in between your meals.
Nutritionally, watermelons contain high levels of vitamin B6 (which increases brain power), vitamin A (good for eyesight), potassium (which helps in curing heart disease and keeping the heart healthy). The watermelon also contains Vitamin B1, C and manganese which protect against infections.
By weight, a watermelon contains about 6% sugar and 92% water . The high water and electrolyte content of watermelons make them ideal as a refreshing summer thrust quenchers. They keep us hydrated, our skin fresh, and can clean the kidneys of toxins.
Watermelon and watermelon juice have been shown to reduce muscle soreness and improve recovery time following exercise in athletes. Researchers believe this is likely to do with the amino acid L-citrulline contained in watermelon. .
Watermelon and watermelon juice have been shown to reduce muscle soreness and improve recovery time following exercise in athletes. Researchers believe this is likely to do with the amino acid L-citrulline contained in watermelon.

Destined2win:
Why would the boy steal #5000?

I do not condone maltreatment but again, I see no wrong in punishing a child for doing wrong if that is going to change him.

Such corporal punishment is not good for children, of-course there are many ways of changing their behaviors.
Pls can u do that to ur son?

xreal:
Cool.



am I the only one seeing the behind of a figure behind in the pic?

Bro! urs eyes nah waooo

Fredoh:
I respect your thoughts bro. We grew up answering this koan since we were young boys and believe me, I've never looked at it in a more meaningful way like yours. Thanks

U are welcome bro!!

WHAT A HUSBAND TOLD HIS WIFE THE NIGHT OF THEIR MARRIAGE/ WEDDING
My wife, everyone has gone home. The music is quiet, the celebration is over. Our wedding was beautiful but it is now in the past. We have finished the wedding/marriage, it is now time to build our marriage. All that is left now is the two of us… What we will become tomorrow, starts from tonight. Our life is no longer the same.
There was a day you put on one red dress… You looked so beautiful in it. That Day I wanted to just touch you! We were in the Cinema and I was so tempted. I wanted to just take you inside the toilet and kiss you but I couldn’t. Guess what? Now I have you forever, I can do that everyday.
Before I take off your cloth and make love to you… let me tell you few things.
I have nothing to hide from you from this day. My phone, you can use it like your own. You can access my facebook, my twitter and my Instagram
From today, I have become a child. For the past five years of my life, I have been a man. I wake myself up in the morning, sometimes I go to bed hungry, I do things the way I want to. I come home whenever I want to but all that ends today. From today you become my mother, who will scold me when I come home late, a mother who will wake me up at six to go work, a mother who will ensure I don’t sleep hungry. I am glad I have a mother in you.
I hope you will be a good mother? Don’t be too harsh and I promise I won’t be too stubborn. Sometimes I will give you headache but I promise, I will also be the cure of every headache.
When my parents died, I looked after my brothers and sisters. I was like a father to them. So i will not have problem being a father to you.

Before God, life is life, no life values or worth more thank another, wife or mother, any one that is easier to save. All we know is, u have save a soul. beside ur wife is a mother to someone.

stanuplane:
For toasting, I might say that its a lil bit normal but very abnormal for proposing. A man should be able to talk to the woman he's going to spend the rest of his life with. No matter how shy he is.

Tnx bro! I am afraid the woman may look down on me even, to make things worst, she have much respect for me.

RadicallyBlunt:
Na where person dey work person go chop. Toast her for yaself and enjoy yaself. When he ready he go take bold step

Lol

My colleague see the woman he loves and he actually want to marry her if she agreed with him, now he is afraid to contact her but rather want me to toast and propose to her on his behalf. Pls can this work out.
I mean I am afraid why not him?
ur advice pls.

dulux07:
Impressive, nothing is impossible.
Abeg which sch is BSU

U didn't read the story. BSU is an acronym for Benue state University

I see nothing new in these prophecies, these are the normal contemporary issues facing Nigeria and the likelihood of what will happen more nah, u don't need to fast and pray for God to tell u all this in Nigeria.
Alison Madueke is seriously ill and is begging to survive so, what's new?
IGP is almost going because GEJ installed him, infact he has being the most intelligent IGP so far if not, that seat would have been collected from him long ago.
End time prophecies!!!

I see nothing new in these prophecies, these are the normal contemporary issues facing Nigeria and the likelihood of what will happen more nah, u don't need to fast and pray for God to tell u all this in Nigeria.
Alison Madueke is seriously ill and is begging to survive so, what's new?
End time prophecies!!!

OGBETABLOG:
An unnamed 10-year old boy's right arm is positioned for full amputation at the National Orthopedic Hospital in Enugu State as a result of Christmas firework also knows as knockouts which exploded and shattered his hand as he was handling it on Christmas day, 25th of December.

This is so sad, i can just imagine what this boy's parents are going through now...
http://www.ogbeta.org/2015/12/fireworks-blows-off-10-year-old-boys.html

Why would people keep on copping one picture with headlines for years. this story was on Facebook 4 years ago with same picture, early this month, the same picture on nairaland wit setting in Delta, now, it is de same pic wit setting in Enugu. Hmmm.

@Op, u must be stup*it I must insult u b4 u wakeup, u don't value or life.
U want to make heaven but she is going to be the reason u will go to hell. I didn't caused u but truly u are a foool.

Daniyemi:
Caption the photo..

.Mine: I must serve my Father's Land!

Guy is it copper or Corper?

coolhamid:
You don't brutalize their leader in such manner and expect them to keep quiet.
Religion breeds extremists and those extremists can go to any length just to drive home their point.

We should have learned from the case of Mohammmed Yusuf and his followers, if Former Pres. Yaradua had managed that situation properly, the issue of boko haram won't have reached this extent.

I just hope this not another boko haram in the making.

Bullsh**t. So, Yaradua did not manage them well, what abt ISIS? not manage well? Alshabab, not manage well? to mention but few. pls note that u cant satisfy terrorist. Lets ride on like this, and people should stop complaining, after all it is written in the bible that time like this will come, there is nothing we can do to averse this situation, those who must die must die, the ones who will survive will survive to see a better Nigeria.

Khd95:
U have to reach phyno first,then he will 'connect' u


on a serious note,if u ever want to reach their customer care,u have to listen to their mumu advert oo

advert is not the prb here, u know if it is MTN they will tell u to press 4 if u want to speak with their customer care agent, but for etisalat, there is no room for such, the whole thing is just a mess, no any option for speaking with their agent.

For Christ sake how can I connect to etisalat customer care? someone should pls help me out. I tried calling 200 but all I can hear is advert, no room for 1 on 1 conversation with the customer care.
Tnx in advance.

modath:
1 goal down , 3 more to go!!
Yayyyyyyyy!!!

U were right man!! are u a man of God? so that I can start directing people to u.

Sugarhugs:
Well, it is simple, if the soldier is God fearing and doesn't kill unjustly, cheat nor oppress his fellow brethren and obey Gods word, then he has no problem. My uncle is a military man and from his attitude he owes his life to God,respects him and obey his word and also goes to church whenever he is not on duty.

Is he in heaven?

U have reported a crime and u are arrested. the way people talk of the police as if these are group animals who doesn't reason, police need u as witness to prosecute those criminals, why wud they arrest u without element of involvement? check ur self every well this isn't a movie pls.

Front page matters pls.

He is not even the finest actor in the movie self, always confused.