₦airaland Forum

adedolapoololade:
..... please add me up on WhatsApp...08125959326....I have some to exchange by 12 August

Bluezy13:
Silly questions beget silly answers.

grammarian247:
I am an expert at Pearson Test of English (PTE) coaching. Contact me https:///+2348038999587

ifko:
Pls don't justify yourself because of number of MHM followers, U people too dey breed like rat.

Enemyofpeace:
I just dey pity all those childrens of Mohammed wey dey nack head for ground

grammarian247:
I am an expert at Pearson Test of English (PTE) coaching. Contact me https:///+2348038999587

loneprof:
Lol... Kids say the darndest things.

paulolee:
chai..

Arinzeshop:
Moral lesson - Have protected sex

youthsinitiativ:
E make me dey see people begin pick race.

I dey suspect everybody wey dey around me

Heavy paranoia.

If I give my own tori ehn una go laff tire.

Modified:

Na so one of my friend (Ernest) say make I escort am go one place those days for Auchi wey dem dey call Iyeki to go see some guys.

When we reach there na, na.so I see some kind big big bros dem with solid muscles and biabia. Everybody just dey comot smoke from ear, nose, and mouth.

Even though say at that time I don dey smoke cigar already, I don already know by then say Igbo na my nemesis so I dey give am chance and respect well well.

By this time I be 19 years old and I don begin smoke cigar already from when I be 12/13 years of age, and to crown everything up, I be pastor man pikin.

I start to dey experiment with smoking dried paw paw and awolowo leaves.

So, back to the tori with the bros dem na. Na so different cigar dey fly. As at then, based on say money no dey, na one cigar wey dem dey call L&B (living in bondage) be my brand, because e dey very cheap. That timeni dey even pick some cigar runs for ground smoke. Old school cigar dem like Bicycle, Gold-leaf, Mars etc.

As we dey the Iyeki joint, na so dem dey pass St. Moritz and other senior boys cigar round, na so I dey follow dem exchange smoke.

Play play play play, na so matter enter Kumasi level oh.

We all don already exchange saliva for cigar na dey form gist wey I no understand, how I wan come take talk say I no sabi amoke igbo.

Na so dem begin pass oga patapata round oh I come go use shame take chop winch.

As I see those broda dem dey drag the tin come do mouth like he-goat wey smell she goat urine, come bend mouth one kain, inhale inhale before dem go come exhale, na so I say make I show dem say me sef I sabi skill.

The first drag wey I take like this ehn, wetin I hear na gbosaaa for inside my head.

Na so I begin talk to myself for inside my head "who slap me, wetin I do"? Before I know wetin dey happen, the igbo don go round reach where I dey again, and dem don dey try get my attention for almost a minute before I realize. Which kind wahala come be dis na?

I don already naked enter market na, shame no let me take tell dem say I no do again after all my guy Ernest don drag him own. Na so I still collect am, whine mouth like Nkpi, inhale inhale etuaaaaahhhh.

As I do am so, I no fit raise hand take pass the igbo give the next man. E come be like say no be get my hand again oh.

Before you know wetin dey happen, na small small voices I come dey hear oh from heavy men wey be say their voices been deep well well when I first reach there and we all dey argue dey gist.

I dey hear dem dey say (Ernesto, e be like say your guy don bam up oya come dey carry am dey go house oh". When I hear those faint words, na him I say e be like say I don dey wan shiiit for Church oh. How a whole me wan take guyckk up like this na? Na him I say make I form hard man arrange myself tell dem say nothing dey happen oh.

As I say make I force myself invoke the spirit of " I dey okay" from inside my body come outside just to impress dem, my dear people, na so I take fall nack my full face for ground oh, everywhere scatter with laff.

Na him Ernest come help me up oh say make we begin go house.

Na when I come manage stand up, hold Ernest, him sef hold me, to take the first step, e come be like say my condition even better pass Ernest own.

For anybody wey sabi Auchi well well, we dey Iyeki, and where we dey call house wey we wan go so na Ernest house for Public field, while my own house dey after Ernest own for White House back of School. The plan na to even manage reach Ernest house first make I see anything wey resemble mattress to lay down.

Na so me and Ernest summon every courage wey remain for we body begin manage ourself dey go house oh.

As we dey waka, e come be like say gallop and pothole full everywhere. At a point e come be like say we dey float for air and our legs no dey touch ground again.

Na so we come manage waka reach where we suppose cross road oh, the two of us come stop. We stand ooh, before God and man, no single moto for road oh but for our eye, na voooom vaaam voooom we dey see and hear, e be like say motor full everywhere and if we enter motor go jam and kill us. We come dey over cardio sef.

We don stand tire na him the two of us look each other, shake head, come hold our sef kakaraka with full speed manage cross road. Na only God know the kind laff wey people go don laff us tire, because na small small my eyes come dey see. My eyes don be like Chinese people own I suppose.

Na so we staggger, waka come reach Ernest house. To open door that one come still take us another time again.

When we come finally enter room, na so Ernest drag like one of those silver bowls wey dem take dey wash hand for restaurant, pack enough garri full am. If you see the way we rush am ehn? Na where I remember reach be dat before I officially pass out with Ernest.

We sleep for almost two straight days I swear to God.

Na from there, and later when I come enter The Netherlands-one country wey be say dem dey sell igbo for special coffee shops anyhow (legalized) I come go try skunk, na there I come realize say, the thing dey siddon for my bloodstream for complete one week before I get myself back.

Na from there I come know say, true true, the thing no good for my body before I go come begin pick pick paper for ground for the streets of Europe na so I take advice myself by myself come face my Marlboro with due respect oh.

But thank God now say I don drop all those smelling habit...

Praise the Lord....

Tori long, make I hang am here joor

Lostz:
Sharia

Lostz:
Delta is a Christian state

gloriaunobi:
That is how they were caught in Enugu...

Ezennwa:
hmm!

Why are Muslims running away from their States, what is really pursuing them.

He who fetches firewood infected with ants invites lizards to his house.