₦airaland Forum

poison-Beyonce
someone like you-Adele
Bittersweet-fantasia

God have mercy.the fate of Nigeria is in ur hands.Baba God biko!

Ewww, Facebook is gradually turning into a porn site.Wht do u have to say

Av u seen
Nigeria report card?
K, Nigeria's report card after 51"
years
HEALTH = E7
POVERTY = A1
EDUCATION = C6
N = D7
SECURITY = F9
COMMUNICATION = C6
INFRASTRUCTURE = E8
SOCIAL AMENITIES = D7
POWER = F9
CORRUPTION = A1
WATER SUPPLY = C6
ELECTION RIGGING = A1
HUMAN RIGHT = D7
JUDICIARY = D7
MORTALITY RATE = E8
UNEMPLOYMENT = A1
BANKING SECTOR = C4
SPORTS = D7
PROSTITUTION = A1
MILITANCY = B2
KIDNAPPING = A1
BOMBING = A1
PIPELINE VANDALISATION = B3
BAD LEADERS = A1 τ̲̅

Arise, O compatriots, Nigeria's call obey Sharia endangers our fatherland, With threats of barbaric faith Boko Haram growing so fast Their struggle shall be in vain Let's fight with heart & might Any faith that threatens our Freedom, Peace & Unity. Oh God of creation, Direct our noble cause Guide our youths to fight, Help our leaders possess conscience to know That no love & honesty can grow Where their irresponsibilities are true. Greedy rulers can never attain To build a nation where Peace And Justice shall reign.

i think they have improved here in osha

If there were no villains – and no one to blame (not even ourselves) – what would that look like? Everyone who writes romance novels knows that to write a good heroine, she must be “flawed.” She must be human. (Even if she’s a magical goddess.) Human in the sense of being complex and deeply layered, and yet understandable and relatable. Are you trying to make yourself perfect?

yhu guyz av deviated from the topic.like the thread tho

If NASA
sends a pregnant
woman into space and
she gives birth, is the
baby an alien?

There are 10 essential flirting
moves that you must know:
1) Smiling
You must smile. You probably
think you smile now, but you
don’t, really. You should practice
your smile in the mirror. To be big
enough to be noticed, your smile
will probably have to be bigger
than you are used to.this has
been my major secret and girls in
my sch can testify to that.
2) Getting Caught Looking
Most people look away when the
object of their desire looks at
them. If you want to let that
person know you are interested ,
when they catch you looking,
smile, hold eye contact a moment
longer, then look away.
3) Waving
A little wave to someone who
caught you looking, along with a
smile, is a non-intrus ive, very flirty
way to say "hello."
4) Winking
You can wink at someone from
across the room, or wink at
someone during a conversati on.
If he or she says something funny,
or someone else does something
silly, you can give a wink as a way
of sharing a little moment for just
the two of you, as if the two of
you are in on some private joke
no one else is aware of.i always
do this in my school and it works.
5) Asking "What’s the Story
Behind That?"
You can ask "what’s the story
behind that?" about any special or
unusual thing your quarry is
wearing or carrying. Examples:
"That’s a really neat bracelet you
are wearing. What’s the story
behind that?" or "That’s a really
great briefcase. What’s the story
behind that?" Even if there isn’t
much of one, it’s given you some
conversati on.
6) Holding Eye Contact
While you are conversing with
your new friend, you want to be
sure to have eye contact at least
some of the time. At least once it’s
a good idea to hold the eye
contact a little "too long," just a
fraction too long, so there’s a
brief, more intimate moment
between you.
7) Non-Intrus ive Touching
This can be as simple as placing
your hand lightly on his or her
hand for a moment, or touching
his or her back for a moment as
you walk to a table to sit down.
Just do this a couple of times on
the first flirting interactio n -- if
the person pulls away, don’t do it
again.
Checking Him/Her Out
Checking out someone’s body
must be done properly, especially
if you are checking out a woman.
The goal is for your new friend to
feel compliment ed that you
noticed his or her body, not
objectifie d like some piece of
meat. You do this by making eye
contact, then quickly, in less than
a second, passing your eyes down
and then up over his or her body,
then back to looking in the eyes. It
should happen quickly, and you
should be unashamed of taking a
glance. Just don’t do it too often.
9) Using the "Good-bye
Compliment "
If you are shy, flirting with the
"good-bye compliment " may be
just the thing you need. On your
way out, you simply go up to the
person you want to flirt with, and
say something like, "Hi, I have to
go now, but before I did, I really
wanted to let you know that you
have a really great sense of style,
and that I noticed it. I wish I had
more time to spend with you, but
I have to go." Then leave. This
allows you to build your
confidence in approachin g
people, without having to take the
risk of rejection -- after all, you
have to leave, you couldn’t stay
even if they wanted you to! (Some
people also ask for phone
numbers at this point.)
10) Stopping While It’s Still Fun
Remember, flirting should be fun,
and you should leave the flirting
interactio n feeling victorious .
Most people leave their flirting
interactio ns feeling like failures
because they don’t stop until it
stops being fun. If you stop
flirting on a high point, while it’s
still fun, your new friend will feel
good when thinking of you, and
want to see you again.
om
across the room, or wink at
someone during a conversati on.
If he or she says something funny,
or someone else does something
silly, you can give a wink as a way
of sharing a little moment for just
the two of you, as if the two of
you are in on some private joke
no one else is aware of.i always
do this in my school and it works.
5) Asking "What’s the Story
Behind That?"
You can ask "what’s the story
behind that?" about any special or
unusual thing your quarry is
wearing or carrying. Examples:
"That’s a really neat bracelet you
are wearing. What’s the story
behind that?" or "That’s a really
great briefcase. What’s the story
behind that?" Even if there isn’t
much of one, it’s given you some
conversati on.
6) Holding Eye Contact
While you are conversing with
your new friend, you want to be
sure to have eye contact at least
some of the time. At least once it’s
a good idea to hold the eye
contact a little "too long," just a
fraction too long, so there’s a
brief, more intimate moment
between you.
7) Non-Intrus ive Touching
This can be as simple as placing
your hand lightly on his or her
hand for a moment, or touching
his or her back for a moment as
you walk to a table to sit down.
Just do this a couple of times on
the first flirting interactio n -- if
the person pulls away, don’t do it
again.
Checking Him/Her Out
Checking out someone’s body
must be done properly, especially
if you are checking out a woman.
The goal is for your new friend to
feel compliment ed that you
noticed his or her body, not
objectifie d like some piece of
meat. You do this by making eye
contact, then quickly, in less than
a second, passing your eyes down
and then up over his or her body,
then back to looking in the eyes. It
should happen quickly, and you
should be unashamed of taking a
glance. Just don’t do it too often.
9) Using the "Good-bye
Compliment "
If you are shy, flirting with the
"good-bye compliment " may be
just the thing you need. On your
way out, you simply go up to the
person you want to flirt with, and
say something like, "Hi, I have to
go now, but before I did, I really
wanted to let you know that you
have a really great sense of style,
and that I noticed it. I wish I had
more time to spend with you, but
I have to go." Then leave. This
allows you to build your
confidence in approachin g
people, without having to take the
risk of rejection -- after all, you
have to leave, you couldn’t stay
even if they wanted you to! (Some
people also ask for phone
numbers at this point.)
10) Stopping While It’s Still Fun
Remember, flirting should be fun,
and you should leave the flirting
interactio n feeling victorious .
Most people leave their flirting
interactio ns feeling like failures
because they don’t stop until it
stops being fun. If you stop
flirting on a high point, while it’s
still fun, your new friend will feel
good when thinking of you, and
want to see you again.

e A man came to
work on Monday morning with
two black eyes. His boss asked
what happened.
The man replied, “On Sunday, I
was sitting behind a big woman
at church. When we stood up to
sing hymns, I noticed that her
dress was caught in her butt
crack, so I was trying to be nice
and I pulled it out for her. Then,
she turned around and punched
me in the eye.”
The boss asked, “Okay, so where
did you get the other shiner?”
“Well,” the man said, “I figured
she didn’t want it out, so I pushed
it back in.”

ENGLISH: As it is written in the
bible.
PIDGIN: As dem yan 4 bible!
ENGLISH: Jesus entered the boat
with his disciples!
PIDGIN: Na im Jesus cum enta
canoe wit im padi dem!
ENGLISH: As the boat was sailing,
there was a great storm!!!
PIDGIN: As d canoe dey go, na im
yawa cum gas!!!
ENGLISH: The storm was so great
that it was like a whirl wind!
PIDGIN: as d yawa dey, na im
kasala cum burst!!
ENGLISH: The disciples became so
afraid and they shouted master
master!
PIDGIN: Na im liva fail im padi
dem, na im dem begin dey hala
bros eh! bros eh!!
ENGLISH: Jesus got up and calmed
down the wind!
PIDGIN: Na im Jesus rise up cum
arrange d yawa!
ENGLISH: He turned to his disciples
and said, oh ye with little faith!
PIDGIN: Na so Jesus luk im padi
dem, shake im head say UNA FALL
MA HAND!
ENGLISH: The disciples replied and
said what manner of man is this?
PIDGIN: im padi dem cum hala
sho!! bros J which kan levels na?
U B WINSH?

An inspiratio
nal speaker said:
“Best years of my life were spent
in the arms of a woman, who
wasn’t my wife.”
Audience was in shock and
silence.
He added:
“She was my mother”
A big round of applause &
laughter!
A very daring husband tried to
crack this at home.
After a dinner, he said loudly to
his wife in the kitchen:
“Best years of my life were spent
in the arms of a woman, who
wasn’t my wife”
Standing for a moment, trying to
recall the second line of that
speaker
By the time he gained his senses,
he was on a hospital bed,
recovering from burns of boiling
water!:p

A man and his wife
received a letter from their
daughter who went to study
overseas:
My beloved Parents,
I miss you so much. I don't know
when I'm coming home, but it
seems not anytime soon. It breaks
my heart to think that by the time
I get back you'll be too old. So
enclosed you will find a bottle of a
potion I have invented. It will
make you young, so when I
return you'll be the same age as I
left you.
NOTE: "Please take only one drop"
So they opened the envelope and
in it there is a bottle with a red
potion.
The husband looks at the wife
and says: "You go first." (typical of
men!)
So the wife opens the bottle and
takes a drop, there after the
husband follows. Indeed they do
turn 5 years younger.
Years later the daughter returns
home to find her mother young
and beautiful, carrying a baby on
her back.
The mother proceeds to tell her
daughter how the potion worked
and made her look young.
The daughter is delighted and
asks about her father.
"Your father? Hmmm, my child,
your father was so jealous that I
was young and beautiful so he
drank the whole bottle."
"So where is he?"
"Oh, that's him I have on my back

[quote author=D.A.V.E link=topic=724279.msg8823935#msg8823935 date=1312071125]do yahoo guys have a dress code?
[/quote]lol

Studio CFR:
Harmony
dont hate plz. . Dis is jokes section
and 5/10 aint a bad result after'all

whatever[quote author=D.A.V.E link=topic=724288.msg8823848#msg8823848 date=1312069226]'thinking aloud' wtf jst imagine d number of d*icks thats inside d bag,how many d*ckless guys walking on d streets knowing fully well dat they r vegetables; not fair lady[/quote]lmao

mykali:
we just need a good title for this and add and subtract a few things, get a sponsor, a good director, the perfect actors . . .and we'll be rich!

lol.dats a good idea u know.

Studio CFR:
5/10

kmt.[quote author=kody-licky link=topic=724288.msg8823060#msg8823060 date=1312058543]Nice joke poster[/quote]tnx

tnx guys

Studio CFR:
u can do better dan dis baybe

whts ur problem?

A
little old lady was walking down
the street dragging two large
plastic
garbage bags behind her.
One of the bags rips, and every
once
in a while a $ 20 bill falls out onto
, the sidewalk.
Noticing this, a policeman stops
her,
and says, "Ma'am, there are $20
bills
falling out of your bag."
"Oh, really ? Darn !" said the little
old
lady. "I'd better go back, and see if
I
can find them.
Thanks for telling me."
"Well, now, not so fast," says the
cop.
"How did you get all that
money ? You didn't steal it, did
you ?"
"Oh, no", said the little old lady.
"You
see, my back yard is right next
to the football stadium parking
lot.
On game days, a lot of fans come
and pee through the fence into
my
flower garden. So, I stand behind
the
fence with my hedge clippers.
Each
time some guy sticks his thing
through the fence, I grab it and
say :
'20 dollar or off it comes'.
"Well, that seems only fair" laughs
the cop. "OK. Good luck ! Oh, by
the
way, what's in the other bag ?"
"Well, you know" , "
not everybody pays"

HE: Can I buy you a drink?
SHE: Actually I'd rather have the
money.
HE: Where have you been all my
life?
SHE: Hiding from you.
HE: Shall we go see a movie?
SHE: I've already seen it.
HE: Haven't I seen you some place
before?
SHE: Yes. That's why I don't go
there anymore.
HE: Go on, don't be shy. Ask me
out.
SHE: Okay, get out.
HE: Is this seat empty?
SHE: Yes, and this one will be if
you sit down.
HE: Will you go out with me this
Saturday?
SHE: Sorry. I'm having a headache
this weekend.
HE: Hi. Didn't we go on a date
once? Or was it twice?
SHE: Must've been once. I never
make the same mistake twice.
HE: How did you get to be so
beautiful?
SHE: I must've been given your
share.
HE: Will you go out with me this
Saturday?
SHE: Sorry. I'm having a headache
this weekend.
HE: Your face must turn a few
heads.
SHE: And your face must turn a
few stomachs.
HE: I think I could make you very
happy.
SHE: Why? Are you leaving?
HE: What would you say if I asked
you to marry me?
SHE: Nothing. I can't talk and
laugh at the same time.
HE: Can I have your name?
SHE: Why? Don't you already have
one?
HE: So, what do you do for a
living?
SHE: I'm a female impersonat or.
HE: Hey baby, what's your sign?
SHE: Do not enter.
HE: Your body is like a temple.
SHE: Sorry, there are no services
today.
HE: If I could see you naked, I'd
die happy.
SHE: If I saw you naked, I'd
probably die laughing!! !

They both claim to be
in love for 5 years. All through
their relationsh ip, the guy kept
insulting her, he beats her up
publicly, molest her when she's
not in the mood. He also slept
with her sister and posted copies
of her nude body all over the
campus. But the girl stood by him
and loved him even more.
Her friends persuaded her and
tried to discourage her, but she
kept putting up with him and
even helped him excel in all his
lectures and exams.
On the final day of graduation ,
the guy was to graduate with a
first class, a day filled with joy for
her and him. He sent her a text
and told her ''the relationsh ip is
over.'' How cruel some guys can
be!
While waiting for his award at the
convocatio n ceremony. The girl
walked up to him and hold him
''you are finished.' ' Immediatel y
the VC announced and told the
guy, his papers were not found,
that he never did his registrati on
during the admission process and
throughout his 5 years in school.
He had to start all over again after
wasting 5 years of hardwork. The
girl was the brain behind the
missing papers. How heartless
some girls can be!
My question here is, who is more
heartless, the guy or the girl??.

hillsate:
sorry Harmvirus i sounded harsh.
you are a good person, how do u do?
are you new on NL?

thats ok.am fyn.yp jst 2mnths old

hillsate:
sorry Harmvirus i sounded harsh.
you are a good person, how do u do?
are you new on NL?

thats ok.am fyn.yp jst 2mnths old

hillsate:
you people have started again!
How can you post this kind of write up without a source?

am sorry.

PALO ALTO, CA –Mark Zuckerberg
announced that Facebook will be
shut down in March. Managing
the site has become too stressful.
“Facebook has gotten out of
control,” said Zuckerberg in a
press conference outside his Palo
Alto office, “and the stress of
managing this company has
ruined my life. I need to put an
end to all the madness.”
Zuckerberg went on to explain
that starting March 15th, users
will no longer be able to access
their Facebook accounts.
“After March 15th the whole
website shuts down,” said Avrat
Humarthi, Vice President of
Technical Affairs at Facebook. “So
if you ever want to see your
pictures again, I recommend you
take them off the internet. You
won’t be able to get them back
once Facebook goes out of
business.”
Zuckerberg said that the decision
to shut down Facebook was
difficult, but that he does not
think people will be upset.
“I personally don’t think it’s a big
deal,” he said in a private phone
interview. “And to be honest, I
think it’s for the better. Without
Facebook, people will have to go
outside and make real friends.
That’s always a good thing.”
Some Facebook users were
furious upon hearing the
shocking news.
“What am I going to do without
Facebook?” said Denise
Bradshaw, a high school student
from Indiana. “My life revolves
around it. I’m on Facebook at
least 10 hours a day. Now what
am I going to do with all that
free time?”
However, parents across the
country have been experiencing
a long anticipated sense of relief.
“I’m glad the Facebook
nightmare is over,” said Jon
Guttari, a single parent from
Detroit. “Now my teenager’s face
won’t be glued to a computer
screen all day. Maybe I can even
have a conversation with her.”
Those in the financial circuit are
criticizing Zuckerberg for
walking away from a multibillion
dollar franchise. Facebook is
currently ranked as one of the
wealthiest businesses in the
world, with economists
estimating its value at around 7.9
billion.
But Zuckerberg remains
unruffled by these accusations.
He says he will stand by his
decision to give Facebook the
axe.
“I don’t care about the money,”
said Zuckerberg. “I just want my
old life back.”
The Facebook Corporation
suggests that users remove all of
their personal information from
the website before March 15th.
After that date, all photos, notes,
links, and videos will be
permanently erased.

Do you know that
a group of owls is known as parliament.
A group of ravens is known as an unkindness
a group of crows is known as murder.
A group of larks is known as exaltation.

Do you know that
a group of owls is known as parliament.
A group of ravens is known as an unkindness
a group of crows is known as murder.
A group of larks is known as exaltation.