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Holatunde111's Posts

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Jokes EtcRe: You Will Be Forced To Laugh Away Your Sorrow by Holatunde111(op): 6:48am On Oct 18, 2018
Some girls will be saying "he is my world", but this is your fourth "world" in 2 months, My sister are you building a solar system?
Jokes EtcRe: You Will Be Forced To Laugh Away Your Sorrow by Holatunde111(op): 6:47am On Oct 18, 2018
#Story_1

A handsome man went into a hotel and asked to see the boss. When the boss came, the story began.

-The client: is room 39 empty?
-The boss: yes, sir.
-The client: can I book it?
-The boss: of course you can.
-The client: thank you.

Before going to the room, the client asked the boss to provide him with a black knife, a white thread 39 cm and an orange 73g.

The boss agreed though he was surprized at the weird things the client asked to have.

The client went into his room, he didn't ask for food or anything else.

Unfortunately for the boss, his room was next to room 39.

After midnight, the boss heard strange voices and noise in that client's room. Voices of wild animals and of utensils and dishes being thrown on the floor.

The boss didn't sleep that night. He kept thinking and wondering what might be the source of the noise.

In the morning, when the client handed the keys to the boss, the latter asked to see the room first.

He went to the room and found everything alright. Nothing unusual. He even found the thread, the black knife and the orange on the table.

The client paid the bill and gave the bellboys a very good tip and left the hotel smiling.

The boss was in a shock but he didn't reveal what he heard to the bellboys. In fact, he started to doubt himself.

After one year, the client showed up again. He asked to see the boss again. The boss was in a puzzle.

The client asked the same things: room 39, black knife, white thread 39cm and an orange 79g.

This time, the boss wanted to know the truth by all means possible. He spent a sleepless night, waiting for something to happen. After midnight, the same voices and noises started, this time louder and more indecipherable than the year before.

Again, before leaving, the client paid his bill and left a large tip on the table for the bellboys. The smile didn't leave his face.

The boss started searching for the meaning of everything the client asked to have. Why did he ask room 39? why the white thread? why the black knifehuh In fact, the boss didn't arrive to any convincing answer to all these questions.

The boss now was eagerly waiting for the month of March, the month in which the client showed up.

To his surprise, on the first day of March, the same client showed up. He asked the same questions. Wanted to book the same room, wanted to have the same things as before.

The boss again heard the same noises, this time more louder than before.

In the morning, when the client was leaving the hotel, the boss apologized politely to the client and asked to know the secret behind the noises in the room.

-''If I tell you the secret, do you promise to never reveal it to anyone else?''
-''I promise I will never let anyone know''.
-''Swear''
-''I swear I won't reveal your secret''
So finally, the client revealed his secret to the boss.

Unfortunately, the boss was a sincere person. Uptil now he hasn't revealed his secret to anyone.

When he does, I will let you know...
Jokes EtcRe: You Will Be Forced To Laugh Away Your Sorrow by Holatunde111(op): 6:47am On Oct 18, 2018
White Man: what do Africans mean when they say "your village people are doing you?"

Koo: (points to a friend) you see that my friend over there, he has an exam at 8am but he woke up at 7:40am and started cooking beans
Jokes EtcRe: You Will Be Forced To Laugh Away Your Sorrow by Holatunde111(op): 6:46am On Oct 18, 2018
I recognize one of my Facebook friends on d road, when she was about to cross, she didn't see the car coming behind her.
before I could shout "Mhiz pearly issa sexy BadGal cute Bae akosua minaj" watchout!!!
D car had already knocked her down
Jokes EtcRe: You Will Be Forced To Laugh Away Your Sorrow by Holatunde111(op): 6:45am On Oct 18, 2018
My mum will hold belt and still tell you come I won't flog you OK, you want to hang me?
Does mother can be very funny sometimes
Jokes EtcRe: You Will Be Forced To Laugh Away Your Sorrow by Holatunde111(op): 6:42am On Oct 18, 2018
U CANNOT give a woman everything she needs. If God Himself gave them eyebrows, they shave it and draw their own. God gave them nails, they cut it off and fixed their own, God gave them* *hair, they cut it off and fixed their own,He gave them breast, they repackage it to what they want, God still gave them buttocks ,they arrange it to the size they want.*
*If even God can't satisfy them then who are U to think that you can please them ?
Jokes EtcRe: You Will Be Forced To Laugh Away Your Sorrow by Holatunde111(op): 6:39am On Oct 18, 2018
If She Carries Flat Shoes To Wear When She Get Tired Of Heels
Jokes EtcRe: You Will Be Forced To Laugh Away Your Sorrow by Holatunde111(op): 6:36am On Oct 18, 2018
My friend has been disturbing me to watch the film he acted , when I finally did ,I saw him fanning the igwe from part 1-4
Jokes EtcRe: You Will Be Forced To Laugh Away Your Sorrow by Holatunde111(op): 6:35am On Oct 18, 2018
A million dollar question*

Someone asked me why trainee Pastors at Bible Colleges need an invigilator when writing exams. I was not able to give any answer.
Can somebody help.
Jokes EtcRe: You Will Be Forced To Laugh Away Your Sorrow by Holatunde111(op): 6:34am On Oct 18, 2018
HOW TO CROSS ROAD IN NIGERIA

Look left and right for cars and bikes, look up for aeroplane, look down for bomb, look back for kidnappers, hold your bag tight and watch the person beside u, then walk zigzag to avoid stray bullets.
Jokes EtcRe: You Will Be Forced To Laugh Away Your Sorrow by Holatunde111(op): 6:33am On Oct 18, 2018
Akpos and his wife went to Israel and decided to pick a boat to see the beauty of river Jordan. When Akpos asked the boatman how much it will cost them, he said $500. Akpos shouted, "No wonder Jesus decided to walk on the sea."*
Jokes EtcRe: You Will Be Forced To Laugh Away Your Sorrow by Holatunde111(op): 6:31am On Oct 18, 2018
I saw a lady wearing a wedding ring on d wrong finger n i asked why? She said its because she married d wrong man. What a wicked world.
Jokes EtcRe: You Will Be Forced To Laugh Away Your Sorrow by Holatunde111(op): 6:30am On Oct 18, 2018
Still don't understand how Nigerian cockroach survive inside gas cookers, oven, microwave...
U 'll be warming Your food jejely nwayoly...suddenly u see them walking lyk Shedrach, Meshach and Abednego...
Maybe they re also serving a living God...
Jokes EtcRe: You Will Be Forced To Laugh Away Your Sorrow by Holatunde111(op): 6:29am On Oct 18, 2018
It is annoying when you sleep and you entered Canada in your dream only to wake up and start hearing ..
Ekaaro ologi de oooooo
Yoruba people will understand
Jokes EtcRe: You Will Be Forced To Laugh Away Your Sorrow by Holatunde111(op): 6:27am On Oct 18, 2018
Cheap abortion method Just drink 5liters of water nd the baby will drown
Jokes EtcRe: You Will Be Forced To Laugh Away Your Sorrow by Holatunde111(op): 5:13pm On Oct 16, 2018
WORDS OF ELDERS

1) "Never fight a man under GRACE, because the GRACE he carries will DISGRACE you!"

2) "No African girl will choose Six packs over six Cars.. So my sons stop the gym and work hard!"

3) "Beware of the naked man who offers you clothes!"

4) “The death of a lion cannot be announced by a goat”.

5) “When one’s goat get missing, the aroma of a neighbor’s soup get suspicious”.

6) “The future belongs to the Risk takers, Not the Comfort seekers!"

7) “The words of the elders do not lock all the doors, they leave the right door open”.

cool “A deaf husband and a blind wife are always a happy couple!"

9) “Coca-Cola only sold 25 bottles the first year but kept going. Never give up!"

10) “Let not what you cannot do tear you from what you can do”.

11) “A child who asks questions does not become a fool”.

12) “The first person you think of in the morning, or last person you think of at night, is either the cause of your happiness or your pain!"

13) “Be careful who you trust! Salt and Sugar are both white!"

14) “To Make A Difference In Life, You Don’t Have To Be Brilliant, Rich, Beautiful, Or Perfect. You Just Have To Care!"

15) “Kindness is like butter, it works best when you spread it around!"

16) “The walls don’t only have ears, they also see!"

17) “The leopard is beautiful, but has a bad heart!"

18) “Everybody is a nobody, trying to be somebody!"

19) “Fake hair, fake nails, fake eye lash, artificial face, and sometimes, fake behavior. Yet, a woman will say she needs a real man!"

20) “Never open the door for an Armed Robber. Let them break it, its part of their Job!"

21) “Sometimes, you have to play the role of a fool to fool the fools who thinks they are fooling you!"

22) “One Man’s food is every other man’s food. Just because one idiot refuses to eat it doesn’t make it poison!"

23) “If you have a mom, there is nowhere you are likely to go where HER prayer has not already been!"

24) “The only person that reads the terms & conditions is the one who writes it!"

25) “The Chief who doesn’t know what to say, says that his friend has said what he would have said!"

26) “Just because you met them at the church doesn’t mean they’re the ones. Demons go to church too!"

27) “A foolish man tells a woman to stop talking, but a wise man tells her that her mouth is extremely beautiful, when her lips are closed!"

28) “No matter how long the night, the day is sure to come!"

29) “A woman’s greatest perfume is the fragrance of her man’s success!"

30) “A wise person knows that there is something to be learned from everyone!"

31) “It requires wisdom to understand wisdom. The music is nothing, if the audience is deaf”!

32) “No matter how rich you are, you cannot pay for your sins”!

33) “First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win!"

34) “Give them a chair, if they can’t stand your Success!"

35) “Be careful about the rumors you hear about a lady. It either comes from a man, who can’t have her, or a lady who can’t compete with her”!

36) “None of us is as smart as all of us. Work together achieve more”.
Jokes EtcRe: You Will Be Forced To Laugh Away Your Sorrow by Holatunde111(op): 5:11pm On Oct 16, 2018
Sleeping next to your new bae for the first time is really tough... You have to breath in English Not too loud, not too deep and not too fast.....
Jokes EtcRe: You Will Be Forced To Laugh Away Your Sorrow by Holatunde111(op): 5:10pm On Oct 16, 2018
The more you meet people the more you know why *Noah took more animals than humans into his ark*
Jokes EtcRe: You Will Be Forced To Laugh Away Your Sorrow by Holatunde111(op): 5:06pm On Oct 16, 2018
WHO SAID EVERYTHING THAT HAS DISADVANTAGE HAVE AN ADVANTAGE PLS WHAT IS THE ADVANTAGE OF BODY ODOUR?
Jokes EtcRe: You Will Be Forced To Laugh Away Your Sorrow by Holatunde111(op): 5:04pm On Oct 16, 2018
The Rope Thief

A group of people were beating a thief, who was accused of stealing a goat. On their way, they met a pastor.

PASTOR: Why are you beating him?

PEOPLE: He stole a goat.

THIEF: Haa! I didn't steal a goat, I only stole a rope, but at the end of the rope, there was a goat.
Jokes EtcRe: You Will Be Forced To Laugh Away Your Sorrow by Holatunde111(op): 5:02pm On Oct 16, 2018
By now some Senior High School couples are planning to finish together, go to the same university, graduate, get jobs n marry
Hmmmmmm
Jokes EtcRe: You Will Be Forced To Laugh Away Your Sorrow by Holatunde111(op): 5:01pm On Oct 16, 2018
You're dating a DJ and you still cry when he cheats on you. My sister, what do you expect from someone who can mix three songs at a time?
Jokes EtcRe: You Will Be Forced To Laugh Away Your Sorrow by Holatunde111(op): 4:54pm On Oct 15, 2018
*Life*
1. A guy met one of his school mates several years after school and he could not believe his eyes; his friend was driving one of the latest sleek Mercedes Benz cars. He went home feeling awful and very disappointed in himself. He thought he was a failure. What he didn't know was that his friend was a driver and had been sent on errand with his boss's car!

2. Rosemary nagged her husband always for not being romantic. She accused him for not getting down to open the car door for her as her friend Jane's husband did when he dropped her off at work. What Rosemary didn't know was that Jane's husband's car had a faulty door that could only be opened from the outside!

3. Sampson's wife went to visit one of her long time friends and was very troubled for seeing the 3 lovely kids of her friend playing around. Her problem was that she had only one child and have been struggling to conceive for the past five years. What she didn't know was that one of those kids who was the biological child of her friend had sickle cell and had just a year to live; the other two are adopted!

4. Life does not have a universal measuring tool; so create yours and use it.
Looking at people and comparing yourself with them will not make you better but bitter. If you know the sort of load the chameleon carries, you would'nt ask why it takes those gentle strides. So, enjoy what you have and be grateful to God for it.

Not all that glitters is gold, live and be happy with what you have, everyone is going through one thing or the other,
Be blessed.
Jokes EtcRe: You Will Be Forced To Laugh Away Your Sorrow by Holatunde111(op): 4:53pm On Oct 15, 2018
If your girlfriend is always looking good but you know perfectly well that you haven't contributed anything towards that,my brother you are no different from a security man guarding a bank smiley
Jokes EtcRe: You Will Be Forced To Laugh Away Your Sorrow by Holatunde111(op): 6:24am On Oct 15, 2018
He starts by telling you that you are SEXY..then he remove 'Y' and have SEX with you,after that he runs away with 'S' then he calls you my EX

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Jokes EtcRe: You Will Be Forced To Laugh Away Your Sorrow by Holatunde111(op): 6:23am On Oct 15, 2018
The way Africa is corrupt .You need connections to get into a relationship. She will ask you....' Who gave you my number ?

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Jokes EtcRe: You Will Be Forced To Laugh Away Your Sorrow by Holatunde111(op): 6:21am On Oct 15, 2018
From Ile-ife 2 Ibadan is N800 but Ibadan to Ile-Ife N1200....

I asked the conductor why?

He asked me... "why is Monday to Friday 5 days while Friday to Monday is 3 days?".
I kept quiet ��
Up to now am still mute and searching seriously for the answer for him. Any one who can assist will be highly appreciated like d whistle blower
Jokes EtcRe: You Will Be Forced To Laugh Away Your Sorrow by Holatunde111(op): 6:20am On Oct 15, 2018
If Your Girlfriend Visits You And Doesn't take a selfie. My brother you need to decorate your room.

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Jokes EtcRe: You Will Be Forced To Laugh Away Your Sorrow by Holatunde111(op): 6:20am On Oct 15, 2018
Confused generation

Welcome to Africa where a girl borrows clothes from her friends to go visit a guy who borrowed a room from his friend.

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Jokes EtcRe: You Will Be Forced To Laugh Away Your Sorrow by Holatunde111(op): 6:18am On Oct 15, 2018
Son: Mum Y Did Auntie Grace Named Her Son Diamond? Mom: Sometimes People Name Their Children After Things They Like. Son: So What's Behind My Name? Mom: Oh.. Please Dickson, Stop It! �������
Jokes EtcRe: You Will Be Forced To Laugh Away Your Sorrow by Holatunde111(op): 6:16am On Oct 15, 2018
A guy proposes to you and you turn him down. He proposes to your friend and you call him a womanizer... Eeeiiii so if he doesn't get employed at Fidelity, he shouldn't try Ecobank too?? .......���������
Jokes EtcRe: You Will Be Forced To Laugh Away Your Sorrow by Holatunde111(op): 6:14am On Oct 15, 2018
You find a beautiful girl and the first thing she asks you is “do you have another girlfriend?”

My dear have you ever seen someone going to buy clothes while naked?

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