₦airaland Forum

BEGGAR: Sir! Please help me with something. I've not eaten since yesterday. Please give me money, I'm hungry!
AKPOS: Sorry. Do you have 1,000 Naira change?
BEGGAR: Yes sir!
AKPOS: Use the change to eat!
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BREAKING NEWS!!!!

Federal Govt has Set Up a Task Force COMMITEE to ensure that a bag of Rice is sold at #4,500...This is what we have all been Waiting for.
Confirm this news on Page 52 of Vanguard newspaper,November 23rd,1989.
I am just in the Habit of reading OLD Newspapers.
Good morning guys

Follow and like the post for more exciting stuffs

Women already have 3-5 days of loosing blood every month.
Can't mosquitoes be considerate and focus only on men.......
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Some people don't have the Spirit of Forgiveness at all, How can u sweep your room and use ur Ex' Picture as paker
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Only Typical Nigeria will understand :::When u are hungry and u think d food is ready and ur mum will just cum from nowhere and add more water....lemme cry�����

1.One girl sent me a friend request on Facebook, I accepted her and she wrote *10×4d+* and I replied *5b-3y=0* then she Blocked me.

I never knew she meant "thanks for the add"
I thought we were doing algebra..
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2. After my secondary school, I decided to go to a medical school. .At the entrance, we were asked to re-arrange the letter:- *PNEIS*. to form the name of an important body part which is most useful when active ..
Those who wrote "SPINE" are now professional doctors. While, those that wrote what you're thinking are whatsapp group admins
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3.Anytime I Kills A Mosquito, I Put It Next To My Bed So That The Other Mosquitoes Can See How Dangerous I Am.. ���

4.Some Girls will choose "half a million" over Nine hundred thousand,
because there is 'Million' in it...������

5.*Telling a guy you got a boyfriend won't make him leave you alone....ask for money and he'll stop messaging you !*

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*WHY CAN'T YOU SAY "SORRY" EVEN IF... ?*
CASE ONE

*Son*: Dad, I want to get married
*Dad*: First, tell me you are sorry
*Son*: For what?
*Dad*: Say sorry
*Son*: But for what?, What did I do?
*Dad*: Just say sorry.
*Son*: But, What have I done wrong?
*Dad*: I said, say sorry
*Son*: Why?
*Dad*: Say Sorry!!
*Son*: Please. Dad, just tell me why?
*Dad*: Say sorry.
*Son*: OK Dad, I am sorry
*Dad*: Uhun.. You've just qualified for Marriage.
*When you learn to Say Sorry for no reason at all,*then you are ready to get married!

CASE TWO

I can never forget this.
My dad's friend told us a story of how on a particular morning, his wife stormed into the room with a moody look on her face. Being a gentleman, he asked, "Sweetheart what's wrong"? She said, Nothing!

(You know when a lady tells you "nothing"
So He pressed further, "You don't sound fine dear". She replied, I said I'm fine! He said at that moment he tried to search his mind if there was any way he could have offended her previously. He couldn't remember such. So, not to cause any tension at all he decided to continue his study.

As he picked the car key to go out, the wife blurted, "So you are going to leave without showing concern or care?"
He said at that point he was angry and shouted: *"Did I not ask you?" What else do you want me to do?"*So he slammed the door and left.

On getting to the car downstairs, about to start the car, his mind asked him, if someone passes by now and mistakenly hits his leg on a stone, what would you say? He replied, I will tell the person *"sorry"*.
He continue and asked himself again, "Did you cause the person to hit his/her leg on the stone?"
He said "No!" Then why would you say 'sorry' for what you didn't cause?"
He said instantly he got the message : *That you don't have to be the cause before you say" sorry" especially to someone you care for.*
So he got back upstairs, his wife looking at him angrily, then he said, *Sweetheart I'm sorry*.
She just wrapped her arm around him and sobs. What a wonder! He said he was left speechless and wondering.

*Dear reader, Stop justifying yourself. Can you just tell Him/Her you are sorry even if it was your partner's fault?*
"I am Sorry" can make that relationship work!
Have a blessed day and I AM SORRY FOR WHATEVER PAIN OR ANGER that myself or anybody else had brought upon you.
*Note* This is not Meant for ONLY MEN. Women Included.
*Let Us Learn To Forgive each other*
Because, in life, we disagree to agree and every misunderstanding opens our eyes. to understand each other better.
I hope this piece can help a family, group or friends that are nursing grudges or misunderstanding.

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*```An Ijebu Doctor can't find a job after graduation and so decided to open a clinic and puts a sign post outside
'GET TREATMENT FOR
20k - IF NOT CURED GET BACK 100k.

An Ijesha Lawyer thinks this is a great opportunity to earn 100k and goes to the clinic...

Ijesha Lawyer:
"I have lost my sense of taste"

Ijebu Doctor:
"Nurse, bring medicine from box No. 22 and put 3 drops in patient's mouth"

Ijesha Lawyer:
"Ugh..this is kerosene"

Ijebu Doctor:
"Congrats, your sense of taste is restored. Give me 20k"
The annoyed Ijesha Lawyer goes back after a few days to recover his money...

Ijesha Lawyer:
"I have lost my memory. I cannot remember anything"

Ijebu Doctor:
"Nurse, bring medicine from box No. 22 and put 3 drops in his mouth"

Ijesha Lawyer (annoyed):
"This is kerosene. You gave this to me last time for restoring my taste"

Ijebu Doctor:
"Congrats. You got your memory back. Give me 20k"
The fuming Ijesha Lawyer pays him, and then comes back a week later determined to get back 100k.

Ijesha Lawyer:
"My eyesight has become very weak"

Ijebu Doctor:
"Well, I don't have any medicine for that, so take this 100k"
The Ijesha Lawyer (staring at the cash):
"But this is 20k,
not 100k"

Ijebu Doctor:
"Congrats, your eyesight is restored. Give me 20k"

A blind man appeared in court on a murder charge for beating a young man to death....

The judge asked the blind man: What do you have to say in your defense? For I see you have chosen not to have a lawyer.

The blind man replied: Well your Honor, I was walking down the road tapping my cane to guide me when I accidentally tap a young man's foot. The young man shouted in a loud voice, "Blind man if you hit me with that stick again you will *see*!"

So just like the woman who touched Jesus' robe and was healed, I decided to have faith. So I hit him and hit him and hit him, and up to this day I still can't see.

The judge says: "Case dismissed. You're free to go".
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Laughter will never cease from your mouth this month and beyond in Jesus name.