₦airaland Forum

Imagine I commenting *"you look so beautiful my love"* on my girlfriend's picture and she replys *"thanks bro"*

HOW TO KNOW IF YOUR MOTHER IS A NIGERIAN.

1. When you say "Mummy,I am sorry!! And she replies, sorry for yourself! �

2. When yu ask her where you should drop something and she says, " drop it on my head. ��

3. When she brings food wrapped in a nylon bag from a frnd's daughter wedding. ��

4. When you say "Mummy, I have fever and she replies you, why won't you have fever when you press phone every night.��

5. When you say Mummy I took 2nd in my class and she replies, so the person that took 1st has two heads abii?? ��

6. When she takes the DSTV remote to work just to punish you. ��

7. When you are watching TV with her and she sleeps off and still doesn't want you to change the Channel.��

8. When you tell her you are going to a friends place to play and she asks, " when last did that friend come here to play with you??. ���

10. When she tells you, if I hear peeem, you will hear weeen. ��

11. When she touches hot pot comfortablely without a cloth or paper. ��

12. When she tells you,I didn't kill my mother, so you will not kill me!! ��

13. When she calls you from your room upstairs and then sends you back upstairs to bring her purse. ��

14. When you ask her to refund the money she borrowed and she tells you, "All the food you have been eating in the house nko?

Our Mothers are wonderful�..

I ❤ My Mom.

Difference between American teaching you how to drive and Nigerian doing same.

American: Move the steering slowly,press brake,move slowly.

Nigerian: Oya Come, Come.. "Oya Cut Your Hand , I say Cut Your Hand.
CUT IT FULL...Idiot see trailer coming ooo..You'll just die like fowl.
����������

I was relaxing in my room last night when my
neighbour
started screaming... "Help! Help! Snake ooo! "
I ran to her room with a strong wood in my
hand.
When I dashed into her room, I saw a very
big
snake facing my lovely neighbour inside her
sitting room and other neighbours joined
me. We all started shouting, "Today is the
end of your
life, you witch snake!". I wanted to be a hero
that
night so,
I first ran and locked the door with key so that
the snake will not escape
As I returned I first of all ran to the snake to hit it
with my wood. It turned and faced us with a
red
eye. Then, i said if count 1 to 3, we should
hit
the snake at once which we all agreed. I
started counting, 1...2....3 go! Then,
Peeeeeeeem! NEPA took d
light, . We all started screaming in the dark
because
the door was closed so, no way to
run outside and the snake was inside the
room.
We nearly killed ourselves. If someone
touches
me, I will hammer the stick on him thinking
that it was the snake. If I touched someone
too, I will receive a strong beating.
To cut the long story short,
As am talking to you
now... We all are in the hospital because we
injured ourselves with the wood instead of
the
snake. I have stopped helping people.
you cannot come and kill me
I mean I cannot go n kill myself
As in, we cannot go n kill myself

You Call Your Boyfriend HONEY And Now You're Complaining other Girls Are Disturbing Him...
Who Doesn't Like SWEET Things?? � �

You dumped a girl for cheating on you then your dating another girl who was dumped because she cheated..
And you Say you av moved on....
My brother, that's Cross Multiplication��

Good morning

Drop your predictions

Over 2.5 goals
More goals in 2nd halve
Btts
Ov 8.5 corners
X2

Yes
For free

6 years in primary school
6 years in secondary school
5 years in university
1 year at law school
2 years or more on strike,protest and co for some of my people...
1 year of youth service & u will luckily get a job of 50,000
While somebody will just say "skiboribo skibo" n be making millions and his friend will reply "is yung John d wicked producer" and be making millions as well.
And you think say the person that introduced education will make heaven...
I will be waiting for him at the gate of heaven...
That one that introduced "examination" should not bother coming near heaven...
Cheybi u see that one that invented mathematics.. hmm make i no talk again

A baby was born and minutes after he began to speak: "I am going to live for only 4 days, my Mother will die in 6 days and my Father will die in 15 days."

4 days later the boy died, after 6 days the Mother died. The Father was going crazy coz the next one will be him. He sold everything and spent the whole money. 15 days later their gateman died. ���������

Do not rush in solving problems.. ��.

Girl will say "I love you Jesus" boys won't be jealous but let boy say "I love you Mary" you will hear which Mary!�

False life is when you used Ferrari on your wedding day (Saturday) and the next day (Sunday) you stand at the bus station waiting for public transport to go to church
���

I will die for you''
says ur boyfriend who urinates in a custard rubber at night bcus he is scared to go outside ��
#Nonsense��

Nowadays Some girls don't break up They will just leave you inside the relationship�� and you will be dating urself���

What would you do if after ur wedding day u found out dat the camera man didnt take any picture he was only flashing lights!��

If I Become A Doctor

Me: Good morning, how are you?
Patient: I'm fine, sir.
Me: Okay! Next person��

QUOTE OF THE MONTH*��

*The razor blade is sharp but can't cut a tree; the axe is strong but can't cut the hair.*
�����������
���� MORAL:����
*Everyone is important according to his/her unique purpose. Never look down on others unless you are admiring their shoes*
�����������
�����������

�� *Share it with your friends and family

Everton vs Crystal Palace 1x or ov1.5
Rayo Vallecano vs Getafe 1x &ov1.5
Eibar vs athletic club 1x
Huesca vs Espanyo d.b
Real Betis vs Real Valladolid d.b
Hertha BSC vs Freiburg 1
Internazionale vs Milan 1x
Parma vs Lazio d.b or 1.5

Chelsea vs Manchester united over 1.5
Wolverhampton Wanderersvs Watford 1x
AFC Bournemouth vs Southampton d.c&under 4.5
West Ham United
Vs Tottenham Hotspur over1.5
Newcastle United vs
Brighton & Hove Albion under 4.5
Manchester City vs Burnley 1x& over 1.5
Huddersfield Town vs Liverpool x2&1.5
Real Madrid vs Levante 1x
Valencia vs Leganés 1x&under 4.5
Villarreal vs Atlético Madrid 1x
Barcelona vs Sevilla over1.5
Juventus vs Genoa 1&over 1.5
Udinese vs Napoli x2


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In Africa , your siblings will never believe you're sick until you leave food for them.���..
���

Some1 will leave d Village 4 d city,(lagos)
6mths later he arrives with a Benz �
Nigerian films are d reason Lagos is over populated �

My aunt just joined facebook and she has been searching for me but can't find me because she has been typing"My Sister Pikin"*
�������

‬: I miss those girls that use to cry after break up
Girls of nowadays
They will just replace u with contestant number two�� #girlsDonWiseUp

Some guys and their indirect insults sha. Please what is the meaning of "As I see that trouser, I just know say na you"
Wicked pple...�����

Heart break is nt when ur love leave you.......
Heart break: is wen ur newly wedded wife is in the kitchen preparing dinner and she ask
"honey how many maggi should i put in the pounded yam??" � � � � � �

This beautiful girl in my street did not come out today that I wore fine clothes, it's when I want to go and buy bread or fetch water she will appear like evil spirit.
���

When you go to your friend's house with your girlfriend and the dog � didn't bark at her,
Wisdom! My brother wisdom!!����


Dog barks at strangers

I was shocked today when I heard my neighbour telling his son the difference between Email and Gmail.
He said Email is when you use Electricity to send mail while Gmail is when you use Generator to send mail! �. I still dey struggle to catch my breath from laughing �����

Daughter: Daddy, I want to go and collect my notebook from my classmate.
Father: My friend, Go and sit down. That's what your mother used to tell her father when she wants to visit me.�

King Solomon had 700 wives and he cheated on 300 of them with concubines. Your boyfriend cheats on you with 1 girl and we can't have peace. My sister read the BIBLE