₦airaland Forum

It's disrespect and that's a surefire way to erode a relationship,

Great example of the black male chivalry that I was bemoaning a lack of in my first post. You sure showed me,

How do you really feel when you see that? I am a Nigerian girl very much in love with my culture, with a strong sense of self worth. I believe black is beautiful. I went to an atypically British university but have no doubt of my roots, and I call myself Nigerian over calling myself British, despite living in London all my life. I wear my hair natural and I make a mean egusi soup. After my teens and early twenties watching eligible black men around me (some in London, some at uni, some in my own family) strike up relationships with what can be best termed 'Nordic' style women (white skin, blond hair blue eyes), I find myself in a relationship with my sweet and handsome European boyfriend.

My family are liberal Nigerians to a point, but I know my parents felt relief when we briefly broke up last year. They felt that they'd dodged the stigma of being 'that' family whose gorgeous black daughter married a white man. In my dating life, I have encountered so many specimens of guy (some black, some white) that were of ill repute. I in no way hold this to be the standard, but my experience of black men (and this is meagre due to the reasons I mentioned above) have been:

1 Ghanian, who was so misogynistic and sexually predatory on the first date I had to give him the verbal equivalent of an ice bath
1 Jamaican who had kids
1 unidentified black guy who chatted me up despite being married
1 Nigerian, who did successfully date but with whom I was not sexually compatible

Don’t get me wrong, there have been absolute clangers with other races in my dating past as well, but with my current boyfriend, we genuinely connect. I am attracted to people, not races, (fineness is not restricted to black or white for me). I always dreamed of the Obama-brown family of course, but I am an open person, and my boyfriend is the same, which is part of what attracted me. He had never been with a black girl before me (not one of those fetishists, I have met a fair few of those), we were simply attracted. We are a good looking couple, and even with our cultural differences, we are proud to be together.

I was just after some insight into the Nigerian psyche with this issue. Anyone still living in Nigeria, what are the viewpoints like now? Any older Nigerians, how would you feel if my story applied to your daughter or sister? If, in a climate where she has not had great experiences with men, and has been overlooked by black men in favour of her white counterparts, she has found happiness with a white man who embraces her culture, would you be happy for her, or would she always be viewed in a certain way?

Anyone with similar stories please share them here…

Hello all, first time poster here, My dad, a Nigeria-born professor in linguistics and translation who worked many years in the UK, is in Nigeria looking for residency at a university or work in academics, but as the universities are often on strike is there any institute where he is likely to find job security? Any hints and tips? Thanks all,