How do you really feel when you see that? I am a Nigerian girl very much in love with my culture, with a strong sense of self worth. I believe black is beautiful. I went to an atypically British university but have no doubt of my roots, and I call myself Nigerian over calling myself British, despite living in London all my life. I wear my hair natural and I make a mean egusi soup. After my teens and early twenties watching eligible black men around me (some in London, some at uni, some in my own family) strike up relationships with what can be best termed 'Nordic' style women (white skin, blond hair blue eyes), I find myself in a relationship with my sweet and handsome European boyfriend.

My family are liberal Nigerians to a point, but I know my parents felt relief when we briefly broke up last year. They felt that they'd dodged the stigma of being 'that' family whose gorgeous black daughter married a white man. In my dating life, I have encountered so many specimens of guy (some black, some white) that were of ill repute. I in no way hold this to be the standard, but my experience of black men (and this is meagre due to the reasons I mentioned above) have been:

1 Ghanian, who was so misogynistic and sexually predatory on the first date I had to give him the verbal equivalent of an ice bath
1 Jamaican who had kids
1 unidentified black guy who chatted me up despite being married
1 Nigerian, who did successfully date but with whom I was not sexually compatible

Don’t get me wrong, there have been absolute clangers with other races in my dating past as well, but with my current boyfriend, we genuinely connect. I am attracted to people, not races, (fineness is not restricted to black or white for me). I always dreamed of the Obama-brown family of course, but I am an open person, and my boyfriend is the same, which is part of what attracted me. He had never been with a black girl before me (not one of those fetishists, I have met a fair few of those), we were simply attracted. We are a good looking couple, and even with our cultural differences, we are proud to be together.

I was just after some insight into the Nigerian psyche with this issue. Anyone still living in Nigeria, what are the viewpoints like now? Any older Nigerians, how would you feel if my story applied to your daughter or sister? If, in a climate where she has not had great experiences with men, and has been overlooked by black men in favour of her white counterparts, she has found happiness with a white man who embraces her culture, would you be happy for her, or would she always be viewed in a certain way?

Anyone with similar stories please share them here…

***yawns***

Great example of the black male chivalry that I was bemoaning a lack of in my first post. You sure showed me,

Inked_Nerd:

@OP: Yeah, I totally understand where your coming from. I'm currently involved with an American of European origin and I know pretty soon I may end up meeting his family but I know my family may never really accept him. Its not because he's white though, its because of his religious belief. Although he is liberal with his religious views, I know my parents wouldn't want me to be with someone of his religious background. As a whole, I know my parents would prefer if I was with a African [preferably a Nigerian] but I don't know if that will ever happen. I've had experiences with non-Nigerians before and I'm not one of those people that feels that they have to be with someone of a particular nationality.

What about me na ?

Hey Inkie! Hello Poster girl! I am reading now and will comment in a minute. I am eating lunch. You want some?

Inked_Nerd:


Its ok, nothing's official with him yet. I'm just involved that's all. I'm still in the market

Hows BK treating you ? What do you do ? Are you a student ?

Honey,

It is unfortunate that you have met brothers that did not represent the true essence of BLACK MEN. I will say that the slim pickings of black men due to many reasons are not plentiful in the QUALITY that you are accustomed to have led black women to search past the color line. I am all for the NUCLEAR BLACK FAMILY but if you are aging and there is not an eligible black man that can be "Obama" then you do what you have to do. The black men do it so why can't you do it?

If you find a white man that treats you better even after you done tried to wait on a brother then do you.

Inked_Nerd:


Its ok, nothing's official with him yet. I'm just involved that's all. I'm still in the market

Hmmmm really nice and relieved 2 hear that. I hope I get 2 u b4 it's 2 late.
Tkia!

Inked_Nerd:


lol, I'm free spirited when it comes to dating so we'll see

Really? And hw do i get 2 c that free spirited side of urs?

I am a white man, engaged with a black lady and I have a cookie to share with you.
Mrs. Chima gave me some days ago.

Nope. She's from Benin.

Inked_Nerd:


Come to New York!!

Nice poking there! Either ways i'm not derailing 4rm d thread.
Just trying 2 let her realise there r still b some gud black men out there;
not that i hv a prob wit she dating a white man tho.

White boy fucking a black lady?

elettrodad:

I am a white man, engaged with a black lady and I have a cookie to share with you.
Mrs. Chima gave me some days ago.

You enjoy that black cookie huh white man?

Inkie,

He created a post a while back saying that he is married to a black woman and I responded back saying so you want a cookie? That what he is getting the cookie comment from suga.

Thank God I'm from a family that believes in love and not color or race.

REALITY101:

Thank God I'm from a family that believes in love and not color or race.

Good. Not everybody into interracial dating nor marriage.

Inked_Nerd:


Don't worry, black men will ALWAYS have a special place in my heart. For me, its not even about being a good "black man"--its about being a good man in general. So whether or not a good man comes in black, white, yellow or any other color of the rainbow I'm open to anything. Its just that I happen to get involved with this guy. . . I don't know if it'll last but I'm gonna roll with it. We get strange looks when I'm in his neighborhood but I'm cool with it.

Yeah I can imagine that
and I hope he never gives me d opportunity 2 show u that u shd hv met me first b4 going 4 him
cos i'm really attracted 2 free spirited ppl i guess its probably cos i do enjoy their company a lot.

Not yet married,  and not be married in the next one or two years at least,

And I was just asking somebody to share experiences, but I head to the cookie instead, which was good.

elettrodad:

Not yet married,  and not be married in the next one or two years at least,

And I was just asking somebody to share experiences, but I head to the cookie instead, which was good.

You want some more?

LMAO@black men lusts for OYINBOS

I hope she meant oyinbo women alone and not the oyinbo men. Then on the second thought, NEVER MIND.

Inked_Nerd:


Eh ya

Pls could u xpantiate on that phrase or statement!