₦airaland Forum

Jeffmonti:
About To Lose A Good Girl. Please Help!

This might turn out to be a lengthy read, please bear with me. The bashing and insults will be unnecessary as i have already told myself hurtful things a thousand times over.

So i am 29 and have a girlfriend who’s 25 we are both graduates; she’s a nurse and i am a practicing engineer and we’ve been dating for 3+ years now and preparations are underway to tie the knot this year God willing. Something happened last year, she suggested i move to a bigger apartment so that we can start buying household items and everything necessary to start a home as we are looking to get married soon which we did; i got a bigger place, met her parents she met mine. In a nutshell everything seems to be going well, we even started a business together and set to take on the future together before the devil struck (i take blames for my actions as i am not overly religious)

Around June last year, i met a girl (very fine girl) in the new area i moved to, although i have been seeing the girl around but one day as i was driving in i saw her hiding somewhere close to my compound avoiding the rain with her friends so i took them in until the rain subsided we exchanged contacts and started texting on WhatsApp a few days later. And soon after we started having sex (protected sex), prior to that time i never cheated on my girlfriend.

The sex continued, up to 2 times a week sometimes 3 as it was relatively easy as she lived very close and my girlfriend only visits on the weekend and never sleeps out (she’s from a very good and wealthy family with proper moral upbringing). Most evenings when return from work conji just do me one kind i don cross street other times she calls until we became comfortable having unprotected sex

So late October 2019, the new girl (I’ll call her Lola) texted me that’s she’s not feeling too well and i asked her to visit the hospital to run a test to know what to treat. She came back with a pregnancy test result proving she’s already 3 weeks pregnant, i was sure it was mine but i didn’t panic as she had a bf and i have my gf we were just for the sex at least that’s what we told each other.

So i asked her to remove the pregnancy, but got the shocker when she said she’s never going to remove the pregnancy that she’s 27 and have no desire to marry me or stay with me but she’s going to have the child. Omo my heart flipped. I begged her for like 3 weeks until she got mad and stopped taking my calls, she even moved away from her apartment. So i texted her and arranged a meeting, we sat down and discussed at length but she was still bent on keeping it, i got furious and told her i am not ready to be part of the child’s life if she’s going through with it as i see no reason why she wants to have my child when she knows we are NEVER going to be together, that was when she said she had already told her family that i am not interested in the child and they support her to keep it and let the child bear their family name. I discussed the matter with two friends a boy and a girl and the asked me to let her have the child first.

One month passed fast forward to early December, Lola called 6 times i was so shocked. I couldn’t take her calls. She texted that she’s ready to terminate the pregnancy since i am wicked and unconcerned she rained all manner of derogatory words but i was only concern with her decision to let go. I called and we agreed to meet the following day, I skipped work that day and met with her and her elder sister and elder sister’s friend. The sister and her friend were so mean but i was unmoved; i don already fuckup and ready to take anything to let it all go away because the knowledge of things will destroy my girlfriend.

So Lola entered my vehicle and we drove out, on our way to the hospital for her to terminate the pregnancy plus treatment she’ll take afterwards and for the damages i have caused her. She’s going to need 150k from me, i was furious and told her i don’t have that kind of money talk less of handing it over to her for something like this (i sure don’t know what i cost but i know it’s not up to 50k). She said if i don’t give her what she want she’s going to have the baby and that i should be thankful that she’s coming up with this that if she had listen to her friends advices she would have moved to my house with all sort of troubles (she was right) but i didn’t give in just yet. I dropped her off and ask her to have the child that am not going to give her the money as i don’t have it (I get the money sha).

So two days passed, she called again and after many arguments we agreed at 100k, made her to sign a NDA not to bother me again and all, I transferred her the 100k that night, she confirmed receipt and promised to go with it the following morning and that was the last I have heard or seen or her since then, until 3 weeks ago when another of her sister called from Canada and was asking if i am Me, that she’s been seeking my contact for a while now that Lola friend had to steal the number Lola’s phone and pass it to her as Lola has been hiding my phone number from the rest of the family and she doesn’t know the arrangement i have had with her but i should know that she’s having the child, she just thought i should know that i have a child somewhere when the baby eventually drops.

Knowing fully well that i am a shitty person to have done something terrible to myself and my girlfriend and all our future plans because of cheap sex, but I’ll be a more terribly bad person to have knowledge of a child somewhere and not be in his/her life. I called Lola but she didn’t take i texted her about her sisters call she called back to know who called and was furious, she ended the call (I guess to call her sister back) and called back again in about 20mins and asked me not to ever call her line again. I replied her text she should tell her family not call me as well. I have dodged to her apartment building a coupe times but she’s not been around for weeks as i was made to believe.

So i bought a ring to engage my girl few weeks ago but had to hold first to see how things play out, i can’t go ahead and marry my girlfriend with this kind of secret untold; that will be wickedness from the pit of hell and i still don’t know how to break it to her, it will destroy her.

I jokingly painted a similar scenery to my girlfriend; her response was: she will not marry me because if she does she will kill me in my sleep. That everybody is expecting us to get married this year, she now have high respect from her family because of me and this kind of thing happens both of us will die. Omo fear catch me.

Fellow Nairalanders, this is my predicament please advice a stupid brother. Insults are welcome as I hope to pick a thing or two from your comments. MODs please push this up biko.

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Gwan2:
Very correct...I sometimes admire people that had courted for long as friends before walking down the aisle, trust me they are so lucky. I had my plans set out on how I wanted my life, I knew it will take time and i never wanted to hold down a lady with the promise of marriage only to disappoint her, reason I didn't build a long time relationship. A very pretty fulani girl I had a very good time with was a moslem, we had a good relationship even while I was struggling and she was a student ..both of us knew we can't marry due to religion difference. I wished I could. I met her as a virgin. The second lady that really understood me and stood by me while I was struggling is already married with a kid. I had to cut off the relationship then because i was at the peak of frustration with things not working out for me, also as I said I never waited to tie her down with marriage promises only to disappoint her. We are good friends now anyway. Trust me I had to take down most of my social media pics because it was attracting the wrong set of girls to me...Like my friend did, the best bet is to get someone within the same work environment that have almost similar orientation.

Gwan2:
Since the advent of feminism the marriage institution had suffer gradual collapse...Unfortunately, it might never get better again. I came to Nigeria after my stay abroad, I actually had the intention of getting a girl that I could start a relationship with the intention of marriage in my mind. A nigerian friend in Germany where I was gave me the number of a certain girl in one of the nigerian university, he told me they are friends. I didn't go into detail discussion with him about the girl. When I came back to nigeria, I invited the girl and pick her up to an open pub. She declined ordering any drink, food or meat. I order a bottle of drink and initiated a conversation with her trying to inquire about her background, personality, studies etc...I don't normally engage in lengthy discussions especially if my intension is to just have a fling with a girl, but as i said earlier I wanted a relationship and this girl was young 22 years, though not very pretty but her personality could make up for that if she had a good one.

As I was chatting with this girl I realised her gesture wasn't so responsive and she look at her wrist watch occasionally, at some time she asked..Didn't my friend tell me about their friendship, I said no...again she ask what do I want from her...gosh,, unsuspectedly because this girl looked so naive and innocent..I said I wanted us to get to meet our selves on this first day and see how things will play out..she then said she is going...I said ok and told her to wait for some few minutes outside before i come pick her, I was still on my drink then. while in my car she asked again,, what do I want from her..at that point I begin to sense where she was driving to..I intensionally played the fool by not answering directly until she asked again..you want sex??...I then said yes..lol. She then ask So if i didn't say it you wont have said it yourself right? Next thing was so how much do you want to give me...Gosh. At that time i became weak. I played along and said 7k, she declined saying even 10k she wont collect. She open the door of my car and told me to reach her when am ready...I called my friend and told him..he said she wanted romantic relationship with him but due to distance that only chat and make phone calls.

Another one that was proving difficult to get for God knows why...I sent her a text saying as a lady she should be skilled enough to know when a guy is serious for relationship or settling down...That one just landed in my hotel room asking me what is the meaning of the text I sent her...That night she gave me all the best banging she could to impress me. At a point she was whispering in my ear "I know you didn't enjoy the sex"..I just told her I did.

Now these sort of girls make up a very large percentage of the average girl you see on the street especially in Nigeria. How do you expect marriages to last in this era

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