₦airaland Forum

.

tohero:
A teacher walks into d Classroom and says; If only Yesterday was Tomorrow, Today would have been a Saturday. Now on which Day did the Teacher make dis Statement?

It was said on monday

If only yesterday(sunday) was tomorrow, today would have been saturday

The heart won this award

996... I for win award

Abeg, is d picture 3D? E no gree open for ma screen.

1. When in doubt, accelerate!
2. Be prepared to ram into anything stopping you
that is wearing uniform in Lagos (police, traffic
warden, FRSC, Kai brigade, fire brigade, VIO,
LASTMA, LAMATA, LASWA)
3. If you get caught by any chance, do not allow
them to enter your car, if they happen to get in
do not drive from that spot (veer off traffic &
settle promptly), and if they don’t agree, pretend
that you are calling your uncle who is in the army
(believe me it always works), never follow them
to any sort of office except you are ready to pay
ten times more than what was demanded.
4. Never give police or VIO your original
particulars (whether expired or up to date).
5. Danfo drivers believe they are immortal. Never
yield to the temptation to teach them otherwise.
6. Okada riders have a pact with suicide, avoid
them like a plaque.
7. Avoid BRT buses in all ramifications, they
have no brakes.
8. Taxi cabs (oko asewo) should always have the
right of way, all of them have been driving in
Lagos for 25 years. Show some respect.
You would notice I omitted “Private car owners” (popularly called ‘my car’). It is intentional. They are in a class of their own. Best advice: ASSUME THE NEXT PERSON IS INSANE (don’t be deceived by the tie and suit). And in cases of confrontation, please proceed to deal with such situations as you are inspired

9. Never, ever, stop for a pedestrian unless he
flings himself under the wheels of your car.
10. The first parking space you see will be the
last parking space you see. Grab it. Survival of
the fittest, you may say!
11. Learn to swerve abruptly. In Lagos, potholes
(and sometimes car-holes) are put in key locations
to test drivers’ reflexes and shock absorbers,( I
saw one man fishing in one of the potholes last
week).
12. There is no such thing as “one-way” in Lagos.
Expect traffic from any direction at all times. The
okada riders are the experts in this area.
13. Never get in the way of a car that needs
extensive bodywork, except you want to spend your
whole Saturday at the panel beater’s place.
Morning rush hours
14. Morning rush-hours are equivalent to Lagos
grand prix (who gets to the junction first).
15. There is no such thing as a short-cut during
rush-hour traffic in Lagos. Everybody might be
inclined to take that ’short-cut’.
16. When asking for directions, always ask at
least three people. Lagosians always claim to know
every inch of the city – even areas they’ve never
been to.
17. Use extreme caution when pulling into service
lanes. Service lanes are not for breaking down the
traffic, but for speeding, especially during rush
hours.
18. Never use directional signals, since they only
confound and distract other Lagos drivers, who are
not used to them.
19. Similarly, never attempt to give hand signals.
Lagos drivers, unused to such courtesies, will
think you are making obscene gestures to them.
This could be very bad for you in Lagos.
20. Hazard lights (popularly called “double pointer”)
is not, (as commonly supposed) used to indicate a
hazard. It is a warning to you that he is a
bonafide Lagos driver, he’s headed ’straight’ and
as such, will not stop under any circumstance.
Take him extremely seriously especially if he backs
it up with a continuous blast from his “horn”.
21. At any given time, do not stand on the zebra
crossing expecting traffic to yield to you, or else
you will have to explain to the on coming traffic
whether you look like a zebra.
22. Speed limits are arbitrary figures posted only
to make you feel guilty.
23. Remember that the goal of every driver is to
get there first by whatever means necessary.
24. In Lagos every spot is a potential bus stop.
FRSC and LASTMA know that too. It is in their
constitution.
25. Above all, keep moving. Even with a flat
tyre!!!

HORNING IN LAGOS
Horn’ when someone executes a dangerous
maneouvre.
‘Horn’ when you’re about to move off.
‘Horn’ when you’re about to overtake.
‘Horn’ when someone is about to overtake you.
Horn’ when someone is about to overtake you.
‘Horn’ when turning into a road.
‘Horn’ when emerging from a road.
‘Horn’ back when someone horns at you. It’s
considered good etiquette.
‘Horn’ when you hear a chorus of horns. Don’t
worry if you don’t know what all the ‘horning’ is
about.
‘Horn’ when you’re happy.
‘Horn’ to the beat when you’re playing music in
your car.

Good luck, as you expeditiously navigate through
Lagos and hustle and bustle!!!!!

I cnt fit laff again o.

.

VickyRotex:
Yes I can. Saw this on a BBM channel minutes ago...

Its a game, so we shouldn't say where it is, until others finds it

How many of the "others" should we wait for before answering?


The rabbit is in d blue ring in d answer (pix) below joor

*Buhari Child, Zara Is Paying Over £40,000 / #12million Naira as School Fees developing Her Future and Career.
*Jonathan's Children Have Being Moved To London For Studies and Residence while Developing Their Career and living In Affluence.....
*Atiku Abubakar's Children are Abroad Schooling.... *Have you asked about Tinubu's? They Are Abroad Schooling and Living in Affluence, They Are All Developing and Investing In their Children To Continue To Rule Us After They Are Gone.....

You are there As A Jobless Graduate Wearing APC and PDP Customized Vest and Polo, Chanting "Change" Holding Brooms and Carrying Umbrellas
Chanting "Transformation" , Killing Yourself, Formenting Trouble and Constituting Nuisance to the Society because of Peanuts that can't make you a better person...... Even If You Have No Paying Jobs, Why Not Do Apprentice Or learn a Skill that will make You more Productive today in the Society. Why Not Do Volunteering Jobs Instead Of Looking For Big Pay Jobs!!!! Stop Being A Disgrace To Your Discipline.
Stop Wearing APC Vest and Carrying PDP Umbrellas Because That is the Wish of Politicians For You... They Know If You have a Good Job, They Can't Use You As A Thug / Propagandists. If Buhari will Not Bring All His Ten Children To the Street For Campaign and Jonathan Will not Bring his Children and Blood Brothers To The Street For Campaign, Then You are a Disgrace To Your Family If You Don't Stop Masquerading Yourself As PDP and APC Agents, Because Up Till Now, I have Never Seen Buhari 's Children and Jonathan's Children On The Street Wearing APC Vest and Holding Brooms, Neither Have I seen Jonathan's Children Carrying The PDP Umbrella Even On Social Media Let Alone In the Street....

A Word Is Enough For The Wise....

Not clear...ah min d fake pix

Sanchez01:
The First Three Words You See in the Picture Defines You!

.

Success,
Health,
Honesty

Hmmmm, pls dnt shoot at sight o.... screen before shooting.

[size=38pt]

BLAME IT ON JONATHAN TILL 2019

[/size]

..
meanyl, neither quote nor like ds post.

Wotz here all about? briefing pls

4M to 7M.
..

Nice intelligence reports

Let me find it first. Leave the action film for nollywood to broadcast

We give this man the attention he doesnt deserve. Just ignore him and lets see if his derogatory thinking will survive the computer age.


RUBBISH

Lame



..buh who is counting the 11months 30 days 23hrs sef...?
The mad man....?

Wots VFL?

No testimony?

Am I free to join?

How do I use this predictions to place bets on nairabet?

Thanks in advance

Following

femi4:
Google I thought you would have gone for java or html?

U r still thoughting. Ok, continue

Any revenge I ignore for a wrong done to me always fires back to my prosecutor. But if I damn go for revenge, I will lose enough and yet, unsatisfied.
.KARMA IS REAL.

femi4:
Na wa o....you and electric motors. Which separation method you dey use?

[size=28pt]Check google or click

HERE

[/size]

.







GOOD

femi4:
Madam, you never answer the question

Help me separate the electric motor first, then we may continue the search