₦airaland Forum

CountinBlessins:
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No one abroad announces plans like this or talks about stuff like this publicly 🤣🤣🤣🤣

This story is so fake it's unbelievable!!! I interact with people in diaspora regularly and it will shock you how they are update with all insecurities in Nigeria more than you that lives here.

They are so private that they will never ,I repeat never ever post something like this publicly . 🤣🤣🤣🤣

OP go find work and stop making imaginary stories for likes 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

That's okay. You don't have to believe. Thanks for your input, regardless.

Streamz:
Follow your mind.

Your fears can actually materialize.

Hmm....that's for your input

I have got an issue I’d like some inputs on from everyone.

I recently reconnected with an ex whom I had the best relationship with while I was still in Nigeria. To put it simply, I was the one who broke up with her at that time, though we still stayed in contact and only messaged from time to time. After moving abroad for a while, our conversations got somewhat serious and we started talking a lot more often.

She’s doing pretty well in Nigeria. She’s a lead engineer in a multinational, earning very well. She earns well into six-figures in naira monthly, so she is comfortable. I am also doing very well for myself in the “diaspora”. I earn well into six-figures annually in dollars. I’m not complaining.

When we saw that things were getting serious between us once again, we decided to take it to the next level. I have visited Nigeria a few times and we’ve gone on vacations together for the past two years. She has a good head on her shoulders. She pays her part of the vacation and I pay mine, though I’d usually take care of some of the extraneous expenses like dinners, exhibition visits, etc.

The thing now is that we have been talking even more seriously and have also talked about getting married this year. She is not getting any younger and I am also not. She is clearly the kind of person I want and I think we are both financially and mentally ready to be together.

The major problem now is that she wants me to visit her parents in Nigeria first before we finalize anything about marriage. That’s where the problem lies.

Her parents live in Ogbomosho which is in the hinterlands of Lagos. Going there will mean going by bus from Lagos, or at least going in part by bus from Ilorin (if one is able to get a flight that goes there from Lagos). Given everything I have read and been reading recently both here on Nairaland and some other news website (I have included links), I absolutely dread traveling by bus in Nigeria. Oh my God! It’s something I greatly fear. I have read so many incidents of encounters with Fulani herdsmen and kidnappers along most of the south-west roads that I cannot imagine myself traveling on those roads at any time.

I can help thinking. What if I’m kidnapped along the way? What if I end up being taken into a closed enclave and they start beating me and pressuring my family to pay a ransom? That’s something that can’t get past my head. All in the name of love?

I have tried to talk to her about this. But merely hinting it at all makes her angry. It makes her feel I don’t care about her at all. She is a Christian, so she believes if one prays before the journey everything will be fine. I know better. Not enough prayer will work if infrastructure is just bad. I don’t think I can mention it to her again. That’s not possible. She will likely just take it the wrong way. On her part, she has travelled many times on the road to see her parents and has never had any issues. So, she doesn’t understand what I’m yapping about.

Are my fears real? I have not been to Nigeria in more than 10 years and have never traveled beyond Lagos, Abuja and Port Harcourt, all areas one can use a plane to go to. The only time I traveled on the road in Nigeria was to Abeokuta several years ago. Have things changed enough for my fears to be unwarranted? How can I convince her that traveling to Ogbomosho is not that important? I have talked to her about the option of paying her parents’ travel expenses to Lagos and we can meet there, but she’s clearly against that because it’s not the traditional way to go about it.

https://www.nairaland.com/8088522/watched-horror-abductors-shot-eight
https://www.barrons.com/news/kidnappers-seize-children-from-nigeria-school-bus-7765e21b
https://www./security-risk-analysis-kidnapping-hotbeds-south-west-nigeria-okereke

I don't understand why anyone would make tribe an issue in a relationship/marriage

Speaking good English is not a measure of intelligence. There are thousands of brilliant scientists around the world who can barely speak English.