₦airaland Forum

My friend's birth'day comin up and I'm thinking of getting him a "life chicken" gonna be hilarious
Watz d weirdest gift you've ever given your friend or has any friend of yours presented to you....

#sai buhari

Same prob o using bbq5

As we all know that the election is just few Hours to hold, and there are categories of people we are going to meet on that day and i bring to you, the 12 types of people we are going to meet at the polling unit on election day.

See The 12 Types Of People You Will Meet On Election Day Below:-

1 The gentlemen/ladies
These are the types of people the will visit the polling unit just to fulfil their mission which is to vote peacefully and after that, go back to their home without any problem.

2 The elders
These people(mostly men) are always between the age 70-80+ you will always find them sitting under a tree or any shaded area within the polling centre lecturing young men about the history of politics and how the country was going from bad to good and vice versa.

3 The I Too Know (ITKs)
These are the categories of people that you will see jumping from one place to the other as if they are INEC chairman. You will never see them at rest, they can even go to the extent of teaching the INEC officials their works.

4 The ushers
You will always see these categories of people on the queue looking very quiet but when they see a person trying to manipulate the queue, they will just walk to him/her and say something like “Oga, please go and join the queue at the back, we that have being on the line are not animals” they will never leave you until you do the needful.

5 The coordinators
They are more like the ushers but something special about them is that they are not always on the queue, if they see you trying to sneak into the queue, they will just appear from nowhere and say “hey” then point to the back, due to the fear that you don’t know the kind of person they are, you will port to the back with immediate effect.

6 The confused ones
Looking at them only, you will deduce that they are confused. They will always be looking as if someone is about to kidnap them or you will always see them asking questions silly like “Brother, will they collect this PVC from us after we are through?” or “Sister, shebi Buhari the PDP presidential candidate?” They are always annoying.

7 The VIPs
These are always the big men of the hood, they will just drive down to the polling unit with their expensive ride and walk up to the INEC officials with a bottle water in their hands and do all the necessary stuffs and drive back home immediately

8 The spacebookers
I usually wonder if that’s what they do to make money on that day or they are just naturally mumus. They will be on the queue for hours and when it’s almost their turn to vote, someone will just come from nowhere and take their place then you will see them leaving.

9 The lookers/observers
Some are not even there to vote but to watch people arguing or fighting, you will always see them at alert with their phones getting ready to snap/video any funny or fist throwing event that takes place at the unit.

10 The fighters
Their own mission is to come and cause violence at the polling unit, they will mistakenly hit you or march you, instead of saying sorry, they will turn it to fight. Be careful when dealing with them

11 The traders
I usually love the courage of these people coz any opportunity they see, they will use it to promote their business. You will see them early in the morning already offloading bags of pure water, snacks, groundnut, coolers of rice and other foods some will even bring their tables to roast boli(roasted plantains) at the polling unit, they are always desperate to make money.

12 The pickpocketers
One of my teachers defined them as “Dem no be thieves ooo but if they pass, something go lost”. All they need to do is to just look at your pocket and they will explore everything inside it then you will see them passing your side 24/7 or trying to form familiarity with you, my brother be watchful or else they will steal you sef.
#iamsodium
Add yours tho...

Passenger-let her go
Sam smith-lay me down

Ogun State- tiny straw
Lagos State-varies
Kwara State-big straws
Edo State-medium straws
.
.
.
.
.
Feel free to add yours

Had a similar experience...am a 200l student in UNILORIN...my roomate killed my battery and spoilt my charging port....i use d same pin on my atm on my phone so he knows d pin.....took my atm from my wallet....went to shoprite and bought stuffs worth 7k and used POS to pay...den he went to eat it all at a friend's place and threw my card away....didn't know I know it was him...

Kwara is going to be. tough....ah...Bleep

So true@cac and











Freaking hilarious @white garment

SammyNoni:
Na you try pass, thanks

u welcum...letz promote it to front page

The last days at forcados high school is the recommended text by JAMB for the 2015 examination and so I av taken time to list out all the characters in this book and the roles they played...Enjoy....
::::::::::::::::::::::
Jimi Solade(son of Mr Solade)
Wole Solade(son of Mr Solade)
Risikat(Househelp of solade's family)
Mr Kola Solade(Jimi's Father)
Mrs Kemi Solade(Jimi's Motther)
Uncle kazeem(Relative of Solade Family)
Uncle Sola(Relative of the Solade family)
Ansa Izaegbegbe(Jimi's skoolmate/neighbour)
Seyi Lawal(The Head Boy at Forcados)
Mr Mallum(The principal at forcados)
Okoro(A Miserable bully at forcados)
Teacher Bade(cane)
The Rhymers(a grup of 5 boiz with lyrics)
Eze(Jimi's competition in chemistry)
Caro(Jimi's Girlfriend)
Mama silifat(snack seller at forcados)
Nene Ekpo(Jimi and Ansa's friend)
Mrs Alli(a resident on balogun street)
Femi(wole and jimi's brother)
Efua Coker(funmi's daughter)
Funmi(Efua's Mother)
Aunt Moni(Efua's Aunt)
Pastor Ekpo(Nene's Father)
Mrs Ekpo(Nene's Mother)
Mrs Obange(Principal at St.Catherines)
Rat-Face(Wole's friend at the bar)
Hadiza(Efua's friend at St.Catherines)
Dodo(efua's friend at St.Catherines)
Mr Vann(physics teacher at forcados)
Jolly Stephens(Big Boy at forcados)
Bayo(Jimi's school mate)
Miss Agbenenovi(Corper asigned to forcados)
Mr Salami(English teacher ar forcados)
Joke(A student at Forcados)
Jide(A student at forcados)
Icheen Igbo(Jimi's rival at the 100m race)
Mr Edet(Chemistry Teacher at forcados)
Samu(The ice cream bar owner)
Aunt Memunat(Relative of solade family)
Aunty Omotunde(Relative of Solade family)
Ada(a student at forcados)
Mrs Tanimoro(The guidance counsellor)...
:::::::::::::::::::::::::
...........Happy Reading.......

Today...the results of those running the pre-degree programme @ Kwara State University Malete were released...these were the reaction of some of the students...

The last days at forcados high school is the recommended text by JAMB for the 2015 examination and so I av taken time to list out all the characters in this book and the roles they played...Enjoy....
::::::::::::::::::::::
Jimi Solade(son of Mr Solade)
Wole Solade(son of Mr Solade)
Risikat(Househelp of solade's family)
Mr Kola Solade(Jimi's Father)
Mrs Kemi Solade(Jimi's Motther)
Uncle kazeem(Relative of Solade Family)
Uncle Sola(Relative of the Solade family)
Ansa Izaegbegbe(Jimi's skoolmate/neighbour)
Seyi Lawal(The Head Boy at Forcados)
Mr Mallum(The principal at forcados)
Okoro(A Miserable bully at forcados)
Teacher Bade(cane)
The Rhymers(a grup of 5 boiz with lyrics)
Eze(Jimi's competition in chemistry)
Caro(Jimi's Girlfriend)
Mama silifat(snack seller at forcados)
Nene Ekpo(Jimi and Ansa's friend)
Mrs Alli(a resident on balogun street)
Femi(wole and jimi's brother)
Efua Coker(funmi's daughter)
Funmi(Efua's Mother)
Aunt Moni(Efua's Aunt)
Pastor Ekpo(Nene's Father)
Mrs Ekpo(Nene's Mother)
Mrs Obange(Principal at St.Catherines)
Rat-Face(Wole's friend at the bar)
Hadiza(Efua's friend at St.Catherines)
Dodo(efua's friend at St.Catherines)
Mr Vann(physics teacher at forcados)
Jolly Stephens(Big Boy at forcados)
Bayo(Jimi's school mate)
Miss Agbenenovi(Corper asigned to forcados)
Mr Salami(English teacher ar forcados)
Joke(A student at Forcados)
Jide(A student at forcados)
Icheen Igbo(Jimi's rival at the 100m race)
Mr Edet(Chemistry Teacher at forcados)
Samu(The ice cream bar owner)
Aunt Memunat(Relative of solade family)
Aunty Omotunde(Relative of Solade family)
Ada(a student at forcados)
Mrs Tanimoro(The guidance counsellor)...
:::::::::::::::::::::::::
...........Happy Reading.......

The last days at forcados high school is the recommended text by JAMB for the 2015 examination and so I av taken time to list out all the characters in this book and the roles they played...Enjoy....
::::::::::::::::::::::
Jimi Solade(son of Mr Solade)
Wole Solade(son of Mr Solade)
Risikat(Househelp of solade's family)
Mr Kola Solade(Jimi's Father)
Mrs Kemi Solade(Jimi's Motther)
Uncle kazeem(Relative of Solade Family)
Uncle Sola(Relative of the Solade family)
Ansa Izaegbegbe(Jimi's skoolmate/neighbour)
Seyi Lawal(The Head Boy at Forcados)
Mr Mallum(The principal at forcados)
Okoro(A Miserable bully at forcados)
Teacher Bade(cane)
The Rhymers(a grup of 5 boiz with lyrics)
Eze(Jimi's competition in chemistry)
Caro(Jimi's Girlfriend)
Mama silifat(snack seller at forcados)
Nene Ekpo(Jimi and Ansa's friend)
Mrs Alli(a resident on balogun street)
Femi(wole and jimi's brother)
Efua Coker(funmi's daughter)
Funmi(Efua's Mother)
Aunt Moni(Efua's Aunt)
Pastor Ekpo(Nene's Father)
Mrs Ekpo(Nene's Mother)
Mrs Obange(Principal at St.Catherines)
Rat-Face(Wole's friend at the bar)
Hadiza(Efua's friend at St.Catherines)
Dodo(efua's friend at St.Catherines)
Mr Vann(physics teacher at forcados)
Jolly Stephens(Big Boy at forcados)
Bayo(Jimi's school mate)
Miss Agbenenovi(Corper asigned to forcados)
Mr Salami(English teacher ar forcados)
Joke(A student at Forcados)
Jide(A student at forcados)
Icheen Igbo(Jimi's rival at the 100m race)
Mr Edet(Chemistry Teacher at forcados)
Samu(The ice cream bar owner)
Aunt Memunat(Relative of solade family)
Aunty Omotunde(Relative of Solade family)
Ada(a student at forcados)
Mrs Tanimoro(The guidance counsellor)...
:::::::::::::::::::::::::
...........Happy Reading.......

kelvinnn:
E go too make brain.

except the Money part

happykidArotiba:
I swear some pple dey bleach dah tin, e go come be lyk Red banana

ahn ahn...banana

happykidArotiba:
;DAnd wah f d Dhick?

dat too

These are the hardest places on the skin that can be bleached or toned....
1.The ankle
2.The elbow
3.The toes
4.The knuckles
5.The Neck
6.The patellar(knee)
7.The back
........Am I wrong......

I made front page....so happy....*dancing Shoki*

phaphyz05:
The op is high on wee.d
(a)yes
(b)i think so
(c)smh
(d)all of d above

b

Have you ever thought of some of your favourite musicians as footballers....Well I did
Ill Bliss(Goalkeeper)
Reminisce(Left-back)
Olamide(Right-back)
Phyno(centre-back)
BlackMagic(centre-back)
Ice-prince(defensive mf)
Vector(center mf)
Korede bello(center mf)
Davido(attacking mf)
Lil kesh(supporting striker)
Wizkid(centre forward).....
......Am I wrong........

Gabrielsylar:
how much were u paid?

I wasn't paid...fowl..

Gabrielsylar:
how much were u paid?

I wasn't paid...fowl

Missmossy:
No dulling, the guy is sharp

no time

Hope this hits front page

In recent appearances by Mavins star and "Chop am" crooner.....it appears that he has upgraded his lip colour and his now looking sexy...well....hope so.....

God...dis list z whack

I swear she cannot be comfortable on that outfit...

[b][/b]
Visited the bank this monday morning and met quite number of people at the bank door so decided to pen down my observation..Enjoy!

1. The trustworthy ones.
This kind of people will enter the door with their hands raised up and their heads bowed down like they have given their life to christ.. People inside will be like  ”Oga enter the door has opened.!

2. The impatient ones.
This ones lack patience,they always wished the door will open and close fast..

I was entering the bank the other day. A guy inside started yelling at me..  Do fast come out nah,when the door hasnt opened yet…. i was like come Jack me come out nah.. grin grin

3. First timers.
This ones dont know how to operate the door,some will even think the bank has closed,some will wait for someone to comeout before they enter.

4. The suspecious ones.
This ones will have to pull their belt,necklace,wristwatch,bangles,shoes,drop their phones,keys even after much done they would be denied entrance.. The security officer be like  ”oga you be welder ? cheesy ”

5.The Experts.
This kind of people frequent the bank and now with idea of how to bypass the sequrity..when they enter the door they would hold out every metal object like keys,phones outside the door until the door makes attempt to close.. When one door closes the other must open. wink

6. The Restless.
This ones will even join someone in entering the door, even when they enter alone they will want to know how many people are inside the bank before the door opens.

7. Questionaries.
This ones will come to the door and ask questions that one needs to consult the gods before they answer, questions like..
People full inside bank?
Them they pay inside?
Teller still remain?
The ac dey work?
Have you guys closed for work?
Them dey show match inside?

8. The battle kings.
When there is no one inside the door and coincidentally two people wants to enter from both inside the bank and outside.. They will keep pressing the buttons vigorously like a game pad..
Who the cap fits let him wear.!

Feel free to add yours

-W.M

Unibenstudent:
Gej looks like who doesn't care even if his country burns,,buhari looks like someone ready top fight tooth and nail for nigeria dominance in global economy.

forget d beef and face d normal question...who iz more relaxed? Tz definitely Jonathan...like if u think Tz Jonathan and hit share if u think Tz buhari...

13).The take it all and return back- these ones will fill their cart or basket and then take lots of pictures..after taking pictures,they return all the items right back..