₦airaland Forum

beckers: I keep saying this if men were God, 40yrs there is still big hope, don't conclude about another persons life ok. Life is turn around she can marry @ 45yrs and give birth to triplets or quatlet. And she is settled with those children for life.

I aint concluding. Just sPeculating.

Giving birth to triplets??
Hmm!.. One step @a tym!

Beync: Op the way you know everything about this lady, am sure u r the one in question
Forget about the m there.

A very matured advice from a lady's point of view.

For the records, I am a guy and one can't know everything about a lady. You know only the ones that needs to be known...#winks.

.

Teenzy: A wedding is taking place dis thur d lady is 50 still a V and is a very rich minister gettn married 2 a man of 51yrs neva married b4 now...she should worry less n pray more n d ideal man will b her's soon.

^
This caught my attention. This would serve as a succour to strengthen her faith.
All hope is not lost afterall.

Tedpgrass: Sorry bout delay to ur response.


What needs clarifying with regards to my username...

Now to the matter....


She has to search a little offshore. There are a few men who will have her "requirements"..... only that she's got to find how to fit their concept of an ideal women..... cos they tend to be quite OCD!!!!

Before I get carried away in my analysis..... is she still looking

Welcome back. You really went AWOL.

#What I meant is how u came about d user name. I could barely pronounce it.#

What is OCD?

Yes!.. She is still Single and searching.

@Tedpgrass..

#this username needs clarifying#

Getting married to a younger man is kind-of out of the scenario.
They would want to see her as a ''Sugar-mummy.''

a similar case happened when her colleague at her former place of work arranged a blind date for her. 2days later, the guy called, that he wants to borrow 50K from her, cz she told the guy initially of how she enrolled for a professional customer service course(in order to build her career), that cost her almost 80K.

So, you can Imagine.

@DailyNews...

Thanks so much for that case study.

In response to your suggestions

1. She is quite chubby, but not overweight though.
The irony of it is that even some men that prefers her kind-of bodysize still insists they must ''test'' before any marriage and she is totally adamant to that, cz she feels the chances of marriage in this aspect is 50-50 and very unlikely to take such risk.

2. The church she worships at, till date is where she was dedicated as a baby.
She has had this thought of quitting the church and go to a new one, but her concerns of what people would say, as regards being desperate made her change her mind.

All the same, the other points are well noted.

SniperInADiaper: Team Single For Life!!!

lol.. Really?

I thought in marriage, both sexes completes each other?

Decryptor: Ideal Wedding Plans: Another big flaw from your friend which should not be ignored. I don't know the magnitude of her plans but i think she Ȋ̝̊̅§ this type that has that huge fantasy of having a big society wedding where Goodluck Jonathan will be the father of the Day, where her and her bridal train will be driven in a limo and probably the venue somewhere in Dubai. Your friend (like most typical Nigerian ladies of today) think mainly about the wedding and NOT the marriage. I wonder what she teaches her student in the "Single and Married" classes.

Let her work on these points and then hope and pray a divorcee or widower (cos of her current age) finds her soon.

#myownhumblecontribution#

Yeah. I agree with you on the temperament,but she tends to be cool n submissive when dealing with the opposite sex, of recent. She is working on it now. Her choleric nature was pronounced in her 20s and i felt thats waht is hunting her today.

She isn't the materialistic type. She is self-dependent. Its just her kind of person to dream big. But she wouldn't mind a small wedding though.

Thanks.

thorpido: It seems her temperament and some other aspects of her character could be an issue so the first step is for her to work on that.
There are ladies who have married in their 40s so hope is not lost for her.
She has to make herself 'marriageable' however.

Yeah. Thanks.

190: No hope for that one again

advice her make she go join seminary to be rev sister

She is a Pentecostal Christian. She is not a Catholic.

fitzmayowa: There is still hope for her...ile anu oluwa ki su

Please can you interprete the yoruba part?
Thanks.

Princess zoe: Plenty men everywhere but hard to get marriagable materials but they exist . Maybe she is trying to wait upon the lord for a husband material. My opinion though.

EXACTLY!!!

She still believes, by faith, that she would get married and how everyone who has been on her neck, including the relatives, because she is an orphan, would come and witness the wedding.


But isn't the wait getting too long?

Vikin: Let her enjoy her days as youth president and wait for the next step

She has stepped down as the YS President and she is the down-to earth kind of person. She never 'forms.'

I forgot to mention that she is the ''No Premarital '' sex type. A LOT of men have approached her, requesting they must have sex before talking of marriage, but she stood her grounds and said NO. Even the ones that accepted the 'No PRE-Marital Sex always have unresolved issues with her, the relationship doesn't last.

I know MOST of the guys here would castigate her, saying she is living in a fool's paradise, but is it that extremely difficult to find a man that would marry a lady without 'testing' in this part of this world?

She worships in a Pentecostal church and refused marring a Guy that worships in a Catholic church, because of their difference in teneths of faith and beliefs, because the guy insisted that she must convert to a Catholic church before marriage.

jhydebaba: Why carry another man's problem on ur head

She probably just to remain the president of the youth and single club for life

Bro, we learn everyday. And someone could be in dire need of your advice. Has any girl ever confided in you?..as in, telling you her deepest secret?

demelza: How did you even know she is crying within her?

No na. Thats an Idiomatic expression i meant. So, you are sayin its cool being single @40?

The way you sound, its like there's no plan of walking down the aisle for you?

There's this colleague of mine who works for a different coy, before being retrenched. We have known each other for a while now and she celebrated her birthday last month.

I got the shocker when I discovered that she just clocked 40, when going through her laptop and stumbled on her CV.

Initially, I guessed she was in her mid 30s but what baffled me is that she has authored a book on what singles should know before getting married and has been the Young and Singles President in her local church for three consecutive tenures.

Though the choleric type. I felt she might have chased her future husband in her 20s, because of her temperament. Hence, finding it difficult to attract and retain suitors. She might have learnt her lesson, though rather late.

Even an ex of mine once told me her elder sister got married @43,,and I was like WTF??!!.. Hence, I felt she has a little bit of hope.

My concern for her is that, though she seems nice from the outlooks, she is definitely crying within her, for God should come to her aid, because she once had a plan of how successful she would be, as an enterpreneur in the next five years, with her husband and child cheering her, and also, she keeps describing her ideal kind of wedding, often at times.

So, any advice for her on the right steps to take?

Thanks.

The Small and Medium Enterprises Development Agency of Nigeria, SMEDAN, has disclosed plan to create five million new jobs through its National Enterprises Development Programme, NEDEP, before 2015.


Director-General of the agency, Alhaji Bature Masari, while speaking at an interactive session with journalists in Abuja recently, said with NEDEP, it would be easier to implement the One Local Government, One Product, OLOP, scheme across the country.


Masari explained that “NEDEP would cover all states of the federation and Abuja with a view to conducting survey of every product being produced in each local government as part of the strategies mapped out by SMEDAN to achieve the goal.


“Our objective is that within the few years of implementing NEDEP and other programmes to be initiated, we will generate an estimated five million direct and indirect jobs.


“I came here with a mission. My mission is to contribute immensely to the growthof MSMEs all over the country. MSMEs play the lead role in creating additional employments, wealth generation and poverty reduction”, he stressed.


The D-G added; “Part of our strategy is tocreate new clusters of businesses based on competitive and comparative advantages already identified through the OLOP initiative and raw materials mapping in the 774 local governments.”


Masari informed that SMEDAN, which will identify skills of each youth, would work in conjunction with the Industrial Training Fund, ITF which would train them and the Bank of Industry, BoI, for finance.


He said the pilot scheme has started in Kano and Niger states, stressing that it was developed to create jobs, generate wealth and eradicate poverty in the country.


This, he said, would be done through the micro, small and medium enterprises, MSMEs sector for effective skills training and acquisition as well as business services development.


“Mr. President has promised his continued support for SMEDAN and we are ready to promote the growth and development of MSMEs in the country. SMEDAN has just opened new offices in 11 states and we want to cover all states before the end of the year.
“SMEDAN is being reorganised to make itmore effective. The Federal Government is planning to launch the National Councilof MSMEs, comprising the federal, state and local governments to manage the economy for rapid development of the country”, he said.


According to him, “if we are going to develop our economy and turn our quantity advantage into productive advantage, one of the most important sectors that we have to focus on is the MSME sector”.


Masari, however, said the agency would embark on aggressive awareness creation about its activities, especially at the grassroots to enable the populace benefit from its programmes.

http://www.vanguardngr.com/2013/06/smedan-creates-new-programme-for-5m-jobs/

alutacontinua: Am I the only one that is seeing the fact that this op is going into marriage BECAUSE HE CANNOT WAIT TO DO THE DEW?

Yes. You are the only one.

^^
Getting a one-room self-con aint a bad idea to start with.

chidyhels: @ OP,are u sure you need advice? Or you jst want people to endorse ur plan.

Find another way to stop ur konji and pls dnt drag an innocent girl into it. A wise gal cannot accept that ur proposal sef.

So, If you endorse the plan, my girl would accept it abi?

Pls know that the word 'wise' is a relative term bcz frm the bolded, i don't think its a 'wise' question to ask. From my post, I intend doing the former(which i have thoroughly thought about) and i need a COGENT reason why i shouldn't.
Thanks to chaircover and others.

andromida: Heed to this but i know you will not,you have your mind made up.

Hmmm!!
You are saying this, because of what I have been posting all along.
Anyway, thats why we are humans in every sense of it.

Winneygirl: Maybe I'm wrong,but wat I undrstd is that U want to do the traditional wedding soon, then after her NYSC, do d white wedding.
But she's not serving yet. Wat's d probability that she'll serve in Ur place of residence?
Dat's like 1 yr btw traditional and white wedding, a year of possibly not living together.
These are loose ends, coupled wt d house thing.
Or did I read this thread upside down?

On the contrary, you are right.

The service things can be worked to where I am based. Its no biggy.
The issue here is the house thing. Maybe I would settle for a Self-Con, while holding other plans I had in mind, before the traditional.
THanks.

@jidegirl12..

We actually have more of theorist than realist nowadays.

Aafulenu: @idealhubby its like ur mind is made up, so y dont u go ahead and do whatever u wish?


just make sure u dont come back to NL to complain

So, you are a mind reader or you are just guessing? ?

chaircover: Basically what I am saying is that you can start small and work your way up the housing ladder.

Well Noted. Will bear in mind.

Amelian: Like I said, it's not easy living with women... I will say extremely difficult.
Be wise, be patient and start small..
Best of luck.

Thanks Ma'am.
Your advice is of immense help to me.

baby_123: Must you live in your community? Most people's parents/couples didnt start living in mansions. So if you want to get married that bad and both of you cant wait, find accommodation according to your pocket size. Am sure your parents did not get married, and move into your community. Since you both are starting out, it will be better if you both have something doing. What if it takes her a while to get a job and babies come into the equation? Are you able to fend for at least 3-4 people. In such an unstable economy, it is better for both spouses to do something. Just in case of job loss, even if she starts a business. And yea, people living in face me i face you are not animals. There are things called "starter houses/accommodations"

For the records, I didn't literally mean 'your community.' your community in this context can be anywhere.

I never insinuated I can't afford a room, neither do people living in face-me-i-face-you being called 'animals' as you have mentioned in your posts.

dayokanu: OP,

Rent an apartment and let your wife get a job/an income before you marry her.

Dont marry her into your family house cos women being what they are would find a way to fight over everything.

And also is your income sufficient to care for 3 people conveniently?

Are you currently assisting your family financially, Would that continue after marriage without hampering your new family finances?

Best advice I would give you is to wait and rent a house far away from your family before you get married

If na Konji dey hol you tell me your area Some people on NL fit hook you up with some o sho free

Konji can be resolved within a few minutes, Marriage is lifelong.

Dont get into a lifelong issue because you want to resolve some minute long problem

Lol.. So Nairaland dey do osho-free?

3People?!. Who is the 3rd person?

The financial assistance is shared among me and my two brothers. So, its a shared responsibility.

Thanks for your advice.

baby_123: OP,

You can afford to feed your woman, but cannot afford a roof over your head. You are funny sha. You know when you have another mouth to feed, all your expenses now double. I don't believe this post sha, because when people say something, you have a response. Everyone has said the same thing. As for the woman, because of marriage and S*ex she will dive straight in. Later she will come on NL, claiming her family members are witches trying to kill her and no one likes her. Or shouting ultimatums and fightimg others.. Eni ri nkan he!

Whats your point Miss?
Is the price you pay for a room the same with the price you pay for a flat in your community?

My Original Idea was to do the traditional wedding, pending when I get a place of my own, before the white wedding, but the second thought of 'waiting' crept into my mind. Then, I was confused!

You can choose to believe it or not. Its your call.
Thanks all the same.