₦airaland Forum

I think I have seen enough. Nobody here can help me. Nobody seems wants to deal with the reality of our failed existence despite knowing that the moment we are born we start walking towards our death.

Some say its the journey that makes it all worthwhile but wtf is a journey without an end in view and why the journey since I know it will all end soon.

Another says its death that makes life worth living. How is this even possible? I live and I die and you say death makes my living meaningful?

Another comes to sell me a spiritual bullshitt and some christian mumbo jumbo despite warning that I do not want that crap. We all live and we all die and that's it.

I have been so depressed and bothered and I think I now know what to do. At least that one I can control.

Thank you everyone and fuckkk you all too for nothing I even say makes sense or matters in the long run so I may as well cuss you all out while I leave.

Regis is saying goodbye.

TayserMahiri:
Your only problem is immortality. You think something is ONLY useful if it conjures immortality. You dont have any other problem. Thats it.

As a side note: I hope you are not a christian/ religious person posing as an atheist to push this topic. I can feel it somehow. At the end of this thread you will "Come to the realization that the Holy Spirit + Jesus and his dad is the only true way to the meaning of life, because they offer immortality".

What are you even talking about? What immortality? I am talking about existence as I know it and you are talking about immortality. Wtf is that?

My problem is the uselessness of everything at death. I do not believe in immortality as that is a nonsensical notion to have but I am simply troubled at the way life stops when we die.

And also, my first post here explained who I am and nowhere there did I promote or claim to be what you are saying. What rubbish.

Coming here to say stupid things to me is one thing I do not want. I already said you cannot help me and that much I can tell by reading the things you say. Even you are confused . please let me be.

darkchild64:
Op I think you should consider getting professional help if you are really interested in solving your problem

Almost all atheist live with this understanding that everything ends with death,and I must admit that once in a while it might make you see life as meaningless but the truth is that DEATH is actually what makes life worth living,this might sound unreasonable especially when you consider the fact that death often comes at a time least desired,but eternity is a curse,what you should be worried about is not death but living an unfulfilled life,There is so much to live for,let's start with your family,are you saying that the bond you have made with your parents and siblings over the past 21 years is not important to you anymore,so if your sister was to win 10 million naira,you wouldn't feel the slightest happiness for her,you are not entertained why watching films,if Nigeria was to get to the finals of the 2018 world cup you wouldn't be interested in seeing the game,if you were given a chance to hang out with your favourite artiste or actor you wouldn't feel any excitement,if as an engineering student you became had the best grades and was the valedictorian at your convocation,receiving a standing ovation evenfrom your teachers it wouldn't make you feel proud,if you were able to find the cure to cancer which would save the life of millions of people even yet unborn it wouldn't drive you to tears....

Op I think you should look for a new challenge, seek for more interesting adventures, the problem might be you are stuck to one thing,you have not tasted anything in life believe me,even though we know that after eating food we would still get hungry it doesn't stop us from enjoying our favourite delicacies, that is how life is,we all know that one day it would all come to an end it doesn't stop us from enjoying the present
I think your problem might be that you are looking for something with eternal value or pleasure,there is no such thing,the human brain is built in such a way that if you enjoy this today tomorrow you wouldn't enjoy it as much as the first day and it keeps going down,so what you do is look for other things that are pleasurable

However if after all I said you can not see anything exciting in life,then you should seek for real help
But trust me,everyone goes through these kind of phases,if someone lives a long, fulfilled life setting good examples and improving humanity,then death is the only thing remaining
There is a lot of things to enjoy in life bro,trust me a lot of things,your problem might be that you are so anxious of the tomorrow so how can you even live for today ?

Right now I am not interested in money, love, affection. To what end?

I am not anxious for tomorrow. I just cannot avoid tomorrow.

TayserMahiri:
You are so obsessed with yourself. If you think you are so important, then note that you arent even half as important as you think you are. You are even worse off, even a footnote is better! Very useless. Life is so meaningless that the Earth itself can get struck by a massive comet and everything on earth turned into nothing/dust and no one would ever know we existed. I dont think anyone can help you with your attitude, not even religion. You are so stressed about death but that is only because of your brain being able to process it and juxtapose it against your current existence where you think you are so awesome and shouldnt die just because.. whatever you think.. If you were another animal, you would realize that all there is is the here and now and maybe tomorrow but visualizing all the way into the future (death) is useless. You would be striving every day to survive because thats all that is neccessary. Every living thing dies, who the hell are you? Even stars and galaxies die!!! The purpose for life is to be lived, and animals know that. If you dont want to live because you will die (how fvcked up is this reasoning) then I feel like we all should tell you to do whatever you want, including killing yourself. Im starting to think you dont even want anything (including dying) because it is useless. Everything is useless, even dying is useless

Okay thank you. You cannot help me. This much I know. The problem here is that death is stronger than everything else. It isn't useless. It overwhelms everything else and that is why its stressful to think about.

And yes I have been contemplating ending it all because it is all a waste of time. I do not see myself as important nor do I feel full of myself. I actually see myself as living a nonsensical existence where it all boils down to a waste of energy and time for me and largely got everyone else.

Why would I strive daily to survive when I still end up dying. Survive what? Surviving the meaninglessness of everything?

darkchild64:
Exactly
I think the problem with the Op is that he is looking for a world were everything is perfect and pleasure is constant and unending
Truth is,without death life has no meaning,the only thing is that we hope we can live a good life for ourselves and others before death comes

This is not true. The fact that I cannot get that kind of world makes it not true.

LeiderJa:
My mind is in chaos and I seem to have waves of existential crisis these days.

The worst is that there's no one around here to think aloud with, everybody is running around like headless chickens trying to "secure a future" when they could drop dead in an hours time. Such blissful ignorance.

Existence is a zero sum game.

This is my problem too. Existence is meaningless. Everyone is chasing after things they will drop dead and let go anytime. What future can there be when already there is only an end. This is my struggle and its killing me

winner01:
How do you think humanity got here. Do you care about that?

I honestly don't. They all die anyway so why should I bother about how they got here.

CAPSLOCKED:

I PASSED THROUGH ALL THAT WHEN I WAS A CHILD, I GREW PASS THAT STAGE WHEN I REALIZED THERE WAS NOTHING WATCHING AND PROTECTING WE HUMANS. NO GODS NOR DEMONS. WE WILL ALL DIE SOMEDAY AND THERE'S NOTHING ANYONE CAN DO TO ESCAPE IT.

SO THREAD STARTER, INSTEAD OF WORRYING ABOUT DYING, WORRY ABOUT LIVING, AND ACTUALLY "LIVE". SPEND EVERY MOMENT LIKE ITS YOUR LAST, ENJOY IT. DO ALL THE GOOD YOU CAN SO THAT WHEN YOU DIE, THOSE WHO'RE LEFT BEHIND WILL HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY ABOUT YOU.

I WISH I CAN UNREAD WHAT I READ 2 DAYS AGO, POSTED BY DALAMAN. HOW HIS FRIEND SURVIVED AN ACCIDENT BUT WITH SO MUCH PAIN THAT EVERYONE KEPT PRAYING HE SHOULD DIE.
I COULDN'T SLEEP THAT NIGHT. STILL FEELS BAD BUT WE CAN'T DO ANYTHING BUT LIVE IN THE MOMENT.


DON'T BE SCARED ABOUT HELL, OR YOUR ABSENCE ON EARTH. I'M SURE RELIGIONS HAS ADDED TO YOUR TORMENTS. YOUR PREACHERS CONSTANT REMINDER THAT YOU'RE DUST AND OTHER GIBBERISH NONSENSE THEY SAY TO TAKE PEOPLE'S FREEDOM AND MONEY.
YOU'LL THINK YOU'RE TOO IMPORTANT BUT MOMENTS AFTER YOU DIE PEOPLE FORGET ABOUT YOU, AND REPLACE YOU.

LISTEN TO MUSIC.
WATCH MOVIES.
PLAY VIDEO GAMES.
GO CLUBBING.
MASTURBATE.
DRINK A LOT OF ALCOHOL, AND FORNICATE HOW YOU WANT.
WATCH SPORTS, AND GO FOR ROAD WALKS. HIT THE GYM, AND AVOID FACEBOOK, IG AND WHATSAP FOR NOW.

DO WHATEVER MAKES YOU HAPPY AND OCCUPIED.

LIFE IS TOO SHORT TO BE WASTED LIVING LIKE YOU'RE DEAD.

I said I have never been religious and neither are my parents. I also said deities are a big no for me and I do not believe they exist.

Whatever hell is is not my concern. My concern is how death ends everything for everyone. Even if people say good things about me after I die how does that concern me? The bottom line is that I am dead. My dreams gone. My hopes gone. Everything just comes to an abrupt stop.

All the things you listed that I should enjoy are things others whose lives came to abrupt ends also did but it still did not stop their end.

Why then should I do what cannot change my end? What's the sense in that? I body build and I die. I have a girlfriend but I have pushed her away even now because she seems meaningless to me now.

I used to club and weed and drown myself in alcohol but I had to stop those about 2 weeks ago because it all made no sense. I get drunk for the moment and forget everything but when the effect clears I am back to where I left off.

winner01:
What biological process, can you explain further?

I wouldnt want to be explicit but Well I know that my parents were involved and copulation occurred and with the passing on of my fathers genes to my mom I was conceived.

Something I never asked for.

winner01:
We can take it one step at a time.

AnonyNymous analyzed that life seems like we were kidnapped and have found ourselves on a journey. In other words, he's suggesting that we have found ourselves on earth. So my first question to you, how do you think you got here?

Of course a biological process brought me here.

dalaman:
Meaning is what you make of it.

But I have not been able to make any meaning to anything. All I keep seeing is the end of everything for me and once that happens, everything else fades away and becomes meaningless.

Why was I born? I see no reason for this and it holds no meaning to me at the end of the day. I was never Involved in the process of my birth. My input was not sought for but I still happened. Someone said I am in a cycle and my molecules were once something else before which I do not dispute but even when it was something else before, I was unaware of this and was not involved in how I now became the person I am today or was born into. Everywhere I turn I see the same outcome in life for everyone and all I see are hopeless robots just living so foolishly and ignorantly chasing after what ends up being meaningless to them the day they die.

How can anyone make any interim meaning from a world that has a finish line waiting for them? A finish line I cannot control when or how. I said earlier that I see people die gruesome deaths and it could have been me too. After they die, they are stacked in some mortuary like some log of wood and when I see such things all I see is uselessness and meaninglessness of it all.

I went to a favourite sitting spot of mine in a hotel in my school area and as I walked passed the swimming pool I just had a strong urge to jump in and end it all and I cannot swim. I am aware I stayed rooted to the spot for a fee minutes fighting this thought that only I had.

We hustle but all for what? The other guy talked about focussing on the journey and not the destination. That is like the most stupid thing I have ever heard. Why will I even begin a journey if I did not have a destination in mind? Why will i start what I cannot finish? Why wake up in the morning without considering that night time is coming up later?

winner01:
Take all the time you want.

I have gone through the links you sent. Though I tried to make meaning of a lot you said there but I am struggling to wrap my head around the concept of god or the concept of spirituality. I have never felt anything else besides from me. I see and observe from me and I just need to understand or perhaps you can make it simpler for me

AnonyNymous:
What I call fun is different from what you call fun. The point of life in my opinion is to do whatever makes you happy as long as you can. You don't know where you were before you were born, so why are you bothering yourself about where you'll be when you're dead? Its clear that the interval in between, which is the JOURNEY is what matters. Let me make an analogy:


You were blindfolded and had no idea where you were but then put in a giant bus/trailer that has everything that you want- food, TV, video games, swimming pool, hot girls (who will obey your every command) , and so on, whatever the heck you want. Then they removed the covering on your eyes, and told you that you could do whatever the hell you wanted, but when the bus gets to where its going, you're going to be blindfolded again and taken somewhere. You worrying, or feeling depressed about not knowing where they'll take you is not a logical thing to do, because it doesn't affect wherever they're still going to put you. So the best thing to do is just to have a good time and hope for the best. (And be gentle with the girls )

I hope you get my point now. Just do whatever the hell you want to do. If you're worried about the afterlife, some smart dude put all religions and ideologies into a sample space, and mathematically/statistically calculated the best possible one. Guess what? "Good deeds" came out on top. So try your best not to be an asshole while enjoying your life. I bet if you got a bank alert that got you as much money as the Adenugas and Otedolas, then you'd have a lot of things you'd want to try out.

The problem here is that I have seen and keep seeing where everyone ends up and its death. Some very gruesome and some not so gruesome but death is still death and I know there is nothing out there beyond death and like you said, I did not know where I was before I was born because I was nowhere. If I was anywhere then why did I not have choices regarding my outcome? It just makes no sense at all.

Since I keep seeing people die that lets me know that I would also be dead one day. The other day on nairaland front-page I saw something about dead bodies left unclaimed in a mortuary and were given a mass burial. The pictures were insanely gory and it further hit me in a bad way.

My mood has been noticed by my friends but not by my family since I do not live with them but none of them has been able to help me.

I have lost the apetite for food and the desire for sleep. Those unclaimed corpses were once like me probably typing on nairaland and laughing at everyday things but they are not typing or laughing now and it would be my turn some day and maybe my corpse too would be left unclaimed for a long while.

I am just tired.

AnonyNymous:
The point is to have fun, man so if you're not enjoying it either change what you're doing or at least make time to do things you enjoy, but if you can't do that you're as good as dead. The essence of life isn't the DESTINATION its the JOURNEY. It took me some time to figure that out after my friend died last year.

The reason I compared it to others is because. . some people are born with deformities that already make it harder for them to enjoy their lives, and you're whole and complete.

I am loosing interest in what you call fun. How can anyone focus on a journey when the destination is always the same. Logically speaking that does not make any sense.

Emmanystone:
Pls don't get me wrong as i do not want to add to what pain you are going through already. But, shouldn't you an atheist have less worries or no worries at all since everything ends at death?

For us religious folks who believe the afterlife, we live knowing you may not make into the eternal life with Christ as a result of sins in our lives. But as an an atheist, you are free to just live as you like, die and just rot. I don't understand why you worry.

Everyone has worries and its not exclusive to anybody. I have just been doing a lot of analysis lately. I am studying to become a mechanical engineer eventually and during my study on material science I began to think about me. I mean really think about me and suddenly other thoughts starting forcing themselves into my head and these days I find it almost impossible to switch off those thoughts.

From the start I have always known that when I die , I rot but when I put that knowledge side by side with who I am and what I have been through and my degree of awareness it just does not make sense anymore. That is where my anxiety I believe came from and then I suddenly took a liking to watching videos about dead people, or how people die and best gore is one of my favourites. Then it got me spooked that these people I am actually watching could be me. How and why would they face everything about life and still die that way and everything about them ends.

I then began to see the uselessness of it all and how it all makes no sense in the long run. Bro I do not care about Christ and what happens to religious folks because I know they are all saying nonsense and clearly deluded. I am more about me .

winner01:
Take all the time you want.

I am doing so a little at time.

AnonyNymous:
Life is a blank sheet of paper, you can do whatever the hell you want with it until its unusable or just squeeze it and throw it in the trash from the start, its your choice. It has whatever meaning you give to it. But think about the fact that some people's "sheets of paper" aren't as good as yours, some are already slightly torn in some places, some are wrinkled, and you got a relatively good one.

You don't understand my problem. I do not care about others and what they have in comparison to what I have. All I see is the meaninglessness of it all. Everything in existence stops at some point so what then is the point to it all if my existence will stop eventually?

Emmanystone:
It is your flesh which will rot, not your spirit.

What is spirit? I picked up spiritualism from the thread of the other gentleman and you are now telling me what I know will happen to my body. I consider All talk about spirit as nonsense.

vaxx:
there is nothing like nothingness. this is a fallacy. anyway reflect on my post , it is better than fighting it. death is not nothingness, it is a from of cycle, i have given you my scientific backup and the logical reasons. it is left for you to comprehend. what is your old moniker, i am suspecting you.

You gave me scientific illustrations no doubt but mixed with a lot of philosophy.

You say death is not the end and is simply a cycle. What kind of cycle would it be that does not benefit me and I cannot control its outcome.

I am alive today but everyday I read about people who died and I know that it could have been me being read about by someone else. I would just be a story to be read and discarded. Men that hurts.

I came here quietly to make sense of it all and have no idea why you would suspect me? Do I not have the right to protect my politics section identity?

vaxx:
Your personality is the ''i'' within you, it is what does not break even if everything breaks. supposing a person loses one of his limbs, he still says "I am studying" and "I am reading a poem" and never says" three-quarters of me is studying" or" "three-quarters of me is reading poem". No person can divide his personality and nature into different parts. the real you is your personality and not the matter you own as a body. i am not superstitious so do not expect that from me to convince with what its not real. you have never lost your real you for once. have you try to go thru the thread i posted.

I have gone through it and all I could get was spiritualism and purpose.

First if all, purpose is useless if it all ends at nothing and as I said, death.

Also regarding spiritualism I cannot even begin to.process that.

winner01:
I've seen a similar thread on this section from an atheist and I was amazed how other atheists were trying to beat their idea of meaning into the poor young man who was suicidal at the time. So i can also relate with this @Iliveforme. I once opened a thread for this.

https://www.nairaland.com/3246389/atheism-bold-representative-futility-hopelessness

You're right, though some attach happiness to several things like jobs, family etc. If truly there was no purpose to life, we quickly discover that its all to no end. You're right, it doesn't matter if we have kids or not, if else fail or pass. Like someone once told me, suicide is the only way out of this horrible world.

This is true for some and a big lie to many like me, this is not all there is to life, I believed in a lie for a long time. This can't be everything. It makes no sense for me to live and just die and then someone else will tell me to be glad I've lived. Its irrational.

I questioned reality and this is why I've been able to reach a reasonable conclusion.

I want to let you know for sure that the existence of life itself is supernatural, it makes no sense why we should exist in the first place.
www.nairaland.com/attachments/5909250_img8162_jpega449fdec5674e7900a8abc4d01b71616

Many people have tried to explain away the mystery of the existence of life using "scientific" theories, but after years of inaccuracies, this mystery still stares at us.

The first fact I realized in my journey to faith was that: "If existence is supernatural, then that changes everything", " if I was put here, then this can't be my final destination when I'm no longer here", "if nothing in this world can satisfy me, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world"...

You can read up one of my threads: https://www.nairaland.com/3321793/atheisms-universe-little-indian-parable

You can also email me, let's discuss better.

I need some time to read through the thread you posted.

vaxx:
it is because death itself is part of life,but life itself is an ongoing cycle which death play its role.. All material and immaterial of our world have a shelf life. From people to plastic, all things break down over time.Your phone will rusts. house cement will cracks and crumbles. Window get thinner from wind and particles. Water becomes stagnant. Leaves fall and rot.All of these things (even plastic) provide a life cycle to something new.

Oxidized metals enrich soil. Cement crumbling becomes sand and rocks that provide shelter to smaller animals. Glass breaking down also gradually converts back into sand. Plastic eventually breaks back down into petrochemicals that sink back into the ground and eventually becomes what it began as again. our body and that of the animals turn into food for other animals and probably enriched the soil as manure There is a life cycle to everything. The matter you are composed of could have been countless other things before you. philosophically i see death like a kettle that contain water on heat but get evaporated into the atmosphere after a lot of pressure. the water did not die nor die off but evolve into another sphere to come in form of rain or so. science says the water that has been on earth over a billion years ago , it is the same water with us, it is not decreasing nor increasing. so the water you took and urinate out this morning did not go anywhere or the one you use in bathing is also so much around. when will die, our body dies off but our personality remain just like that of water.

What personality?

You speak with so much certainty yet say you are speaking from a philosophical angle. My issue is that I am fúcking freaking out about this whole shitt.

Even if my molecules as a person was something else before me, something I am unaware of and may never be, why then did it fûcking become me and put me in this terrible cycle you talk about?

Its of no benefit to me so why bring me into all the mess?

Its happening again even now on the front page of nairaland about a guy who hung himself.

https://www.nairaland.com/4431610/man-commits-suicide-abuja-hanging

I couldn't look away and now my anxiety is back. Wtf is wrong with me?

My heart is beating so fast and the worse part is that I also live in abuja. Shittt shittt shittt. Am I loosing my mind? Oh fück .

Butterflyleo:
Did I strike a nerve?

Why are you suddenly angry over a simple comment I made? Haba

So because I am a christian I should not offer real help to you or at least try? Smh

I have a nagging headache even now and have been unable to sleep because I am afraid that I may not wake up when I do. I don't want my life to just cease yet it will. I am sorry if you did not like my outburst but I already warned that I do not want your bullshitt and you still tried to do it. Such things irritate me easily please.

vaxx:
life gives hope, hopes gives tenacity, tenacity birth success. op can check my thread i create a topic on it or perhaps i will summit here.

All the hope and tenacity and success ultimately ends in death. Why?

Butterflyleo:
Hmmm I feel for you. I really do. But how can I even begin talking to you when you clearly said and I quote:



You are obviously an atheist and since I am a christian I can only talk to you from my perspective if you would let me.

I don't like being called an atheist like some kind of title. I just know that any diety or god in any form does not exist. All I have is me and all I do is me and this is the reason why I said I do not want the bullshitt talk from people like you. Already you are trying to sell Christianity to me. Wtf do I care about Christianity? I have a real situation here and you wave Christianity at me?

What makes a christian or whoever else better or different from me? Bugger off and take your Christianity with you.

LeiderJa:
I've been thinking about this too.
Death
Time
Life

It doesn't even make sense like we're basically living a simulated reality with an absolute end point. Death.

I look forward to dying. Maybe I'll understand then.

The simulated reality with an absolute end point part got me. I want more but I know I cannot have it because when I die I am gone. Great minds who I look up to have all died and all they ever worked for or investigated stopped making any sense to them the moment they died. This is disturbing.

Since death is the end of everything how then would you understand anything? I don't understand

Emmysteve:
I can pick one or two things the op said. In truth, there's nothing in this life. With all the struggles, we are bound to die someday so why the struggle? If only we come to realize this.

But Op there's definitely a life after death.

Wtf! I guess you edited your comment after I made mine so I missed the last part. That statement about life after death being definite is just insanely crazy on so many levels.

Emmysteve:
I can pick one or two things the op said. In truth, there's nothing in this life. With all the struggles, we are bound to die someday so why the struggle?

This is my whole point and struggle to make sense of it all. I succeed yet I die. I fail yet I die. I make it rich or remain poor yet I die and the most distressing part is that I know death would be the absolute end for me so why all the bother?

Those few times I have gone through the religion section of nairaland and I read people talking about life after death and the way they say it with such certainty I just laugh at that level of ignorance because how can a mass of flesh and bones like me do anything besides rot when I die. This sad reality distresses me even more.

lestat:
How many? Are you the first or last child ?

What's the split between am and dfemake children ?

How about your parents ?

Where are they ? What do they do?

Do you live with them ?

I live off campus and not with my parents currently. We are 3 girls and 2 boys. I am the second. My parents both work/ run a business

What has this got to do with anything?

lestat:
Okay let's take it one step at a time. Yes death is inevitable but so is life

The beauty and key to a good life is to live for others , I am really trying to avoid sounding poetic so you can relate ..

But what I am trying to say is life is like a book we write a page in daily and at the end we get a glimpse into that novel ... It's up to us how we choose to write those pages

Pain is inevitable in life but when viewed from a certain perspective I take oain and difficulties as free lessons to add to my databank of knowledge

I have considered all of this and all I keep meeting regardless of the angle I come from is that it is all meaningless. Why should I care for others when it is meaningless at the end of the day?

I know pain is inevitable but despite the pains, I still die and that's all there is.

Why should I make something so beautiful when ultimately its going to end in nothingness?

Maybe you think I am crazy but why do I even do the things I do when I would one day no longer be around to enjoy it or appraise it? It just does not make any sense.

lestat:
Okay do you have sibblimgs ?

Yes i do