₦airaland Forum

I am an unusual and unconventional man in the literary sense. I am weird, super weird. People find me queer and see me as mysterious, and as such people judge me for it. It saddens me when this happens, I never asked to be born this way, neither did I choose the family to be born into. This is my story and how God has spoilt me with excess love and Grace and blessings sometime it defies my ability to comprehemd. How can God, the creater of hundreds of billions of galaxies would care to know my name, care to be my friend, care to be my father and my every thing.

THE BEGINNING.

I was two or three years old ( yes I remember). I was sleeping on a mat on the floor in our family home in the village in Ibadan. I opened my eyes, and regretted open in instantly. There on the floor was the head of a human being moving around. I repeat. The head of a man moving around on th floor. My brain must havebeen to small to comprehend what I was seeing but I remember I felt raw fear. I closed my eyes and did not open it until the next morning.

I was just six. My interpretation of life and reality was that of always getting beaten up, laughed at, made jest off. I was born with a mild form of Tourette Syndrom. I noticed I was some sort of an entertainer. People came around when they feel like laughing, I made everyone laugh. I did not grow up with my mother, never knew what a mother meant growing up, grew up alone with my father. At the age of 9 I was still getting beaten up. You have to realise I did not feel sad or pain, this was my reality. This was how I interpreted reality, though I did wonder why others received less treatment. After getting beaten up outside when I go home I will be beaten up and laughed at by the house help employed to look after me. When my father comes back from work I'll get a routine round of slapping on "konking" on my small head.

But despite all this I was unusually brilliant. At Primary 4 I had already started reading news papers. I read my first novel at primary 5. The Guilty are Afraid by James Hardly Chase. But that didn't count for shit. The beaten got worse. School, home, church. .anywhere I go I either get mocked nd forced to tease, failure to do so would elicit a big slap or konk on my forehead, in pain I will open my mouth and start talking then the laughter will begin. I realise then I was a stammerer.

POVERTY.

I was 13 when my father lost his job, I was about to understand what raw poverty is. Feeding became tough, I looked emaciated and hideous. In school I gave my life to Christ genuinely, because I felt a connection somehow. The "high" you experience upon giving your life to Christ cannot be described with mere words. Born again ChristianChristians will understand what I mean. It's a feeling of utter blips, I felt light and always happy for the very first time in my life. As I gradually backsided into sin that euphoric feeling slowly ebbed away, the the beaten took on a new dimension. As a child I remember being taken to several native doctors where we are given black soap to bath with. The battle between good and evil began. Feeding became near impossible. Beans and garri was the stable food for 11 months until christmas where we feasted our selves to rice donated my neighbours. As it got worse we were forced to start gathering fire wood to cook downstairs in the full glare of people. Something's it got so bad we ate semi boiled rice and raw tin tomatoes because we could not get enough charcoal. We went into subsitent farming where we spend 11 hours every day toiling like we living in the days of Noah. Of the 5 schoo, days I went to school twice, the rest 11 hours of hard labour in conditions akin to North Korean gulags. Imagine going to farm with a matchet right in front of your school. We would steal vegetable in the bush, and okra, put it on my head and told to walk round Lagos barefoot looking for who to buy. I remember seeing a classmate, my feeble attempt to flee saw me lose balance and right there in the middle of the road in the full glare of classmates picking up the vegetables bare footed. I went to schoo. Wearing two legs of different bathroom slippers. My school uniform can best be described as rays. Dirty, smelly it was an embarrassment because we could not afford 5 Naira soap to wash. I remmeber always picking up boiled groundouts on the road and eating them. It was that bad. My school resumes 8 but I get up as early as 5 a am to run to school just to avoid people seeing me. My uniform was so dirty and torn the school principal had to personally give me a new set of uniform. The next day I worse it to school. The ovation and cheer and kindness people showed bought me to tears.

BENEVOLENCE

Growing up I was convinced I had mental problems. I was generous to a fault and didn't know how to stop. I never said no to any demand, notnbecausekf I was scare but because I genuinely felt very happy seeing the smile on people's faces when I help them. My new pair of shoes i gave it out to someone in need and resumed wearing bathroom slippers to school. I got beaten up by my father several times for being STUPID. The normal form of beating I get from my father is to have me strip naked, lie on the table and flung the Hell out of me with rubber pipes that have sharp serated edges. The agony of the pain is hard to desdribe in words. Here I was at 25 I still have never known love, happiness. The small high I got from being born again was taken away from me when I backslided.

SHAME AND EMBARASSMENT.

I looked so hideous and ugly that my family was quite frankly getting embarrassed. I have had people ask my brother when walking on the streets "is that your brother?" The reply?
" No o, how can this one be my brother" talk true n.a. , n.a. your brother " lai lai, no be my brother be this o"

On this day I was sick and tired of this suffering. I have bee sent out of school for my inability to pay N50 PTA fee.FIFTY NAIRA. Rather than face the shame and humiliation again I went to my room and cried all night long. I wished for death. Then VOILA !! It occured to me I could actually end this. Without further ado I picked up my school bag and ran away from home, vowing never to come back. I will rather die than be treated like a goat i said to my self. This was when I personally understood the term WALKING IN CIRCLES, I trekked 16 hours, unable to find my way back home, kept seeing the same landmarks...confused..by 12 midnight I was a lost soul, tried, hungry, weak, crying I collapsed.One gentleman (God bless me) saw me on the floor.. took pity on me and took me to his place to pass the night, I lied I got lost.....I'll leave this out now and focus of the theme on my story.

DISCOVERY

In my teens I made some discoveries that will forever change my life. For the first time I realise I had developed a mental illness due largely in part to my childhood. The trauma of all I went through as a child had bleeped up my brain. At the sight of my father I start trembling uncontrollably in absolute gear and terror. I can have a normal conversation with somebody....easy. When int he presence of my gather it can take me 15 minutes to utter the word " Good morning sir, shiu,d I bring your food?" I was a stammerer on steroids. At several occasions I've had my father call me to his room and ask me to commit suicide bevause I was an eyesore..I was bringing shame to the family. People cal me "born throway", n.a. human being be this. He said if I don't that someday He will do it himself so I can stop bringing shame to the family. My younger siblings spit on my face, beat me up (YES), make fun of me.......I've had people say between me and my brother's they had good prospect to make it in life, I am a hopeless case. Living was so hard my brain went numb to compensate or absorb the shock of my trauma......but then. GOD HAPPENED.

GOD.

Please keep an open mind. What I am about to say is the ABSOLUTE TRUTH. no super coating. On this day I was looking for one leg of my school shoes (my brothers do that to get at me and make me myserable), I searchedand searched for hours. .I mean HOURS, like 3 HOHRS. Exhausted and near tears I felt this indiscribable urge to get down on my knees and pray. So I got on my knees and in my naivety ask God to help me look for my school shoe if not I am DEAD. Told God my father will cut my head with a machete, which he had threatened to do o several occasions. So I prayed. Guys, as I opened my ears I nearly fell against he wooden edge kfmy bed with fright.

RIGHT THERE IN FRONT OF ME WAS MY SCHOOL SHOES. I WAS ALONE, NO KIDDING, RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME WAS MY SHOE. I didnt understand what was going on,.


Part 2. GODS INTERVENTION in my life and my road to a net worth of N115 million and N67 million in cash as of this writing.

The concluding part of my story and how you can learn from my experience. Coming up in the next two hours.

I have set up a 5,000 signature petition to the Federal Government to shut down Nairaland, for been a haven for secessionist movement. So far we have just 300, but we will get there.

First if all Seun. If you do not delete these pro biafra Crap the govetnnent will shut it down for you. Secondly, I am getting fed up with this biafra nonsense. Let's do a referendum, all the igbos who now compete with the Hausa as tgemost destabilizing forces in Nigeria should leave Lagos and Abuja and go back to Enugu. Psquarw, Tekno, Jim Iyke.......everybody should pack up and leave make we get chance hear word abeg.

Una hear wetin amigos go dey talk.

See wetin crase boy amigos go dey talk about Nigeria.

RIP. I do not mean to be insensitive but it would seem there are people here who have a fetish for seeing blood. From dismembered human parts accident victims to people blown to pieces by Boko Haram Nairaland is rife with thousands of gory posts that should otherwise be censored.

Nigeria is full if retarded and dumb people who say anything so long its the trend. This latest attack changes nothing you fool's. BOKO HARAM has been defeated. That does not mean there won't be freak skirmishes or suicidal attacks, The Sambisa forest is now where shooting competitions for NA are held. By this time last year Boko Haram controlled territory the size of Scotland. Today they don't even call a square inch of land theirs. They are basically nomads now, raiding for food and supplies and making Suprise attacks, Instead of you idiots to appreciate the service of men who have diedfighitng these devils,, men with families ,what do we do? At the first sign of setback we are quick and eager to say Boko Haram is winning. Frankky the level of stupidity I many Nigeria's defies human comprehension.

Calabar Tour.

Shocking Fight in South African Parliament. Army Deployed.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FfDJ6CZGee0

Full story and pictures. : https://jointstrike./2017/02/09/shocking-fight-in-south-african-parliament-army-deployed/

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q1wiV_nfQH0

Using a combination of diplomacy and muscle, the Economic Community of West African States (ECOWAS) forced longtime Gambian President Yahya Jammeh to cede power this month to challenger Adama Barrow, who won the nation’s general election.

Neighboring Senegal amassed troops and threatened to remove Jammeh by force. Regional powerhouse Nigeria threatened to help. The presidents of Mauritania and Guinea conducted shuttle diplomacy between Gambia’s capital of Banjul and Senegal, where Barrow had fled. Jammeh finally agreed to go into exile on January 20.

Despite the successful outcome, some question the wisdom of ECOWAS intervening on behalf of the people of the Gambia.

Ezekiel Gebissa, a professor of history and African studies at Kettering University in Michigan, said that the military intervention is not something that should be replicated elsewhere.

“If the reason for the intervention by ECOWAS in the Gambia is to save democracy and restore constitutional rule, then I think [it] would be counterproductive because a democracy that is imposed from outside by using military force cannot be an enduring democracy,” he said.

Sadiq Ibrahim, a member of the ECOWAS parliament and a lawmaker in Nigeria’s National Assembly, said that although the regional body must respect the sovereignty of each member nation, there are exceptions that demand direct action.

“If we have a situation that can threaten the security of a member nation and the entire region, the ECOWAS can collectively intervene to ensure peace in that country,” he said.

Gambia was ‘peculiar situation‘

This was not the first time ECOWAS has intervened in the affairs of one of its member states. In 1990, the military intervention known as ECOMOG led largely by Nigeria helped end the Liberian civil war. Another ECOWAS intervention took place in Mali in 2013 where soldiers from ECOWAS countries worked in collaboration with French and other African forces when .......

Continue reading : https://jointstrike./2017/02/03/voa-can-nigerian-led-ecowas-tactics-in-gambia-serve-as-model-voa/

azimibraun:
How do you mean?

REVOLUTION !!

It's 10:om at night on the streets of Port Hacourt. For two days there has been fuel scarcity, all efforts go buy fuel for my car proved to be an effort in futility. The very few filling stations operating caused ques as long as 50 meters, leading to massive traffic jam. So here I was with only about 5 litres of fuel left on a que to buy fuel. After waiting nearly an hour it was announced there is no more fuel. So after queuing for more than an hour, exhausting my precious little fuel it became apparent that "BLACK MARKET FUEL", fake adulterated fuel bad for car engines was the way to go.

So here I am, driving at a slow 40, hoping I can locate any road side black market seller before my car runs out of fuel in the middle road, an embarrassment I was determined to avoid at a all cost. By now its 10:pm, suddenly I see flashlights flickering on and off in front of me. Instinctively I knew it was our good ole Nigeria Police force. I whined down (stupid mistake) the glass and asked what the problem was. This bald headed tough looking officer in black asked me to step out of the car. I asked why? he Pointed his gun at me and said if I ask him another stupid question I will receive a dirty slap (anyone know what a clean slap is?). I humbly obliged, it wasn't until i stepped down that I realised these men in black are not the police but the dreaded SAS. They had SAS crested on their shirts and each wielded an assault rifle with 3 magazine's tied together with duct tape. Next he askes for my papers. They are complete. He asked for my tinted permit. I had it. He asked for customs document. I had it. He asked for fire extinquisher, I opened my booth and showed them.

Frustrated by the fact that he had nothing to pin on me be looked me up and down and asked if i was a footballer. I replied NO. Then why are you keeping dreads he retorted. You must be an armed robber. Wtf !! Next he asked when I bought the car, I told him two months ago. He asked who the name of the previous owner I bought the car from. I had no idea. Are we supposed to cram the names of the original owner? his answer was to asked me to go on my knees. In public.

"You are an armed robber. this is a stolen vehicle and you must come to the station with us.) they said. By now he is joined by 4 other bullish looking SAS men. All efforts to plead my innocence fell on deaf ears. I shouted and pleaded, they said if I opened my mouth again they will shoot me in my foot. I said "sorry sir". This infuriated the heartless demon in uniform who had one of his fellow barbarians handcuff me and shove me into the back of my own cars while they stopped other vehicles to rob.

It's now 2:15 AM. After stopping numerous vehicles to pull this stupid stunt on they got into my car, opened my pigeon hole and took the N20,000 they saw. Next they asked me to bring N150,000. I swore I had none. "No problem" they said, call someone to bring it or we will go to your house and search. Now I smoke weed and have some in my room. It will be Eldorado to them. At the very same time I can hear a girl on her knees pleading with them not to arrest the two guys she was accompanied with. Their crime was not remembering the exact colour of the car before it was sprayed, hence it is a stolen car and they re theves.

So I called my friend, they told me to put it on speaker. I explained the situation, I was being charged N150k for driving a stolen vehicle. He was reluctant at firs but when I mentioned the word SAS (Special Anti Robbery Squard) I could swear i actually heard the shock in his voice. He asked for my location and within 20 minutes he came with the money. Not satisfied they handcuffed him too, saying I am a criminal and the fact he could bring N150k on a whim in the early hours of the day proves we are robbers. They ended up collecting N5k from him before uncuffing us and letting us go. We needed no further encouragement and sprinted for the car. We had barely driven as far as 50 yards when the car made a sudden jerk an stopped smack right in the middle of the road at 3 am (45 mins ago as of this writing ). I had to put the car on neutral and with my friend pushec it too the side of the road. ....

Conclusion.

Compared to the barbarism of Nigeria's law enforcement officers most armed robbers are mother theresa. I am not alone in this experience, heck I consider myself lucky to have the resources to commandeer N150k in the early hour of the day. Most people ain't that lucky. This is how the citizens of this great nation suffer on a daily basis.When is the Nigerian people going to catch a break from these relentless assault on our civil liberties. Nigeria is arguably the easiest country to die in the world. Boko Haram has slaugtered 35 thousand people in the North. Hundreds of innocent Christian souls including coppers have been lost in the North. In the Niger Delta innocent civilians, not politicians are kidnapped almost with impunity. In other places defenselss civilians are being terrorised and assaulted by the very law enforcement agencies whose duty is to protect the lives and property of Nigerians. On a national level Nigerians are suffering from fuel scarcity, causing untold hardship on people all because our President, who also doubles as Petroluem Minister is away in London doing God knows what.

When is this all gonna end? When are we citizens of this great nation gonna say ENOUGH IS ENOUGH? How can the citizens of a great nation like Nigeria suffer continuously? Nigeria has no business being poor. To put things into perspective, the GDP of Lagos State alone is nearly twice the GDP of East Africa's largest economy, Kenya. Measured in PPP (purchasing power parity) nigeria has a GDP of $ 1 trillion, a staggering 49 billion barrels of proven oil reserves worth an estimated $4 trillion, yet her people struggle to make ends meet. We the youths of Nigeria have to say ENOUGH IS enough and wrestle back power from these corrupt old men who know nothing about about governance. If we cannot fight for our basic rights then the Nigerian people deserve what comes with cowardice and mediocrity.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O2cLKClim7o



more https://jointstrike./2017/01/29/can-congress-make-you-eat-okro-trey-gowdy-explodes-on-the-stand/

Nigeria sends Warships, jets and troops to Gambia.




Nigeria soldiers will, on Wednesday (today), arrive at a base of the Economic Community of West African States troops in Senegal to ensure that President Yahya Jammeh of the Gambia steps down on Thursday, January 19.

Nigerian warship, NNS UNITY, is also heading for the coast of The Gambia to join the operation.



The PUNCH learnt from a top military source in the Nigerian Air Force that the troops would be briefed by the Chief of Air Staff, Air Marshal Sadique Abubakar, in the early hours of Wednesday, before leaving for Senegal.

It was gathered that apart from the NAF and the Nigerian Navy, the Nigerian Army would also contribute troops, although the number of deployment could not yet be ascertained as of the time of filing this report.

The source said some of the NAF fighter jets were expected to airlift the troops.

He said, “I can confirm to you that men of the Air Force will leave for Senegal tomorrow (Wednesday). They will be briefed by the Chief of Air Staff, Air Marshal Sadique Abubakar, at the Kainji base in Niger State.

“That Nigeria is deploying troops is now a certainty after several meetings with The Gambian president yielded no result. The Chiefs of Defence Staff of ECOWAS countries came to Abuja on Saturday, where they discussed what components each member state is expected to contribute to the troops that will force Yahya Jammeh out.

“The troops are expected to stay for two weeks and they will be received at a base in Senegal.”

Another military source added, “The NNS Unity is currently sailing off the coast of Ghana, after leaving from Lagos. It is not only Nigeria. Senegal is the host country for the troops, as it would be easy to launch an attack from there.”

The Defence Headquarters, Abuja, however, said it could not confirm the deployments, adding that it was a matter being coordinated by political leaders.

The Director, Defence Information, Brig. Gen. Rabe Abubakar, said, “We should not drag the Nigerian military into a political issue. What is happening is a political discussion between the ECOWAS leaders, aimed at solving a political impasse in one of its member states.

“Whatever they agreed to do is what will happen. Therefore, the military is not for any engagement regarding Jammeh or any other person for that matter.”

Adama Barrow of the opposition party won the December 1, 2016, presidential election but Jammeh, who initially conceded defeat by congratulating Barrow, made a U-turn a week later, saying he would challenge the results.

Despite interventions by the African Union and ECOWAS, Jammeh insisted he would not hand over power to Barrow.

This stance informed the decision of the leaders to withdraw their recognition for Jammeh as the Gambian president after Thursday.

Meanwhile, Jammeh, on Tuesday, declared a 90-day state of emergency 24 hours to the end of his tenure.

He warned security forces against violating the order or engaging in acts likely to cause a breach of the peace, and denounced “foreign interference in The Gambia’s election.”

The declaration of a state of emergency by the embattled President followed a rejection of his injunction to stop Barrow’s inauguration by the Gambian Chief Justice, Emmanuel Fagbenle, on Monday.

In a televised announcement on Tuesday, Jammeh said, “Any acts of disobedience to the laws of the Gambia, incitement of violence and acts intended to disturb public order and peace are banned under the state of emergency.”

He directed security forces to “maintain absolute peace, law and order.”

Barrow is currently in Senegal and due to security fears, he was unable to attend the funeral of his eight-year-old son, who died on Monday after a dog bite.

Punch.

This was all it took

sirfee:
Jesus!on the contrary you are the clown in this case.Stop passing wrong information to the public,there's no iota of truth in what you've just said now,Nigeria isn't the number one economy in Africa.I'm not hating because I'm not partisan but please emancipate yourself from bigotry and partisanship.

What African country comes close to having a GDP of $1 trillion ($560 billion GNP) and 42 billion barrels in oil reserve (worth $3 trillion).

Just last week the President of Gambia vowed to hang on to power and not step down after losing the election, because afterall Nigeria is not that strong militarily because of Boko Haram and lacks the assessor project power. All Buhari did was send the Nigerian Navy to put on a show of force to make him no he means business and send fighter jets to support Senegalese troops, radar planes and Drones for surveillance and 200 Airforce Special Forces personnel. Not even the Army...the AIRFORCE, he surrounded the very next day and agreed to step down.

THAT IS POWER for those of you who lack understanding on what strategic geo political power is.

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idupaul:
OP are you on drugs? I opened this page to see a great leader and not this failure ..please correct your topic to Africa's most useless leader.

Failure? You on codeine? Boko Haram has largely been defeated. Under Jonathan Boko Haram held territory the size of Belguim. Today Boko Hara holds no one square inch of land and has been flushed out if the Sambisa.

sirfee:
The most powerful man my foot.

Look, you have the right to remain ignorant. Donald Trump(or any U.S President) is the most powerful man in the world because America is the number one economy, most powerful military and most dominant & imitated culture in the world. Nigeria is to Africa what America I to the world.

abokibuhari:
who the shiit is bu ha ri

The most powerful man in AFRICA.

As head of the most populous black nation in the world, commander in chief of one of Africa's largest armies and President of Africa's biggest economy with a GDP of $1 trillion ( when measured in PPP) the President of Nigeria wields an incredible amount of power and influence in the region. While South Africa and Egypt have comparable, if not better armies none can match Nigeria's soft power. Nigeria is in the league of few nations that actively and profitably export its culture. Nigeria 's film industry Nollywood is second only to Hollywood and Nigeria's music and entertainment industry is by far the most dominant in Africa.

Bayo Omoboriowo is the Presidents persobal photographer. His pictures illustrate the grandeur of Nigeria's President.

All pictures : https://jointstrike./2017/01/23/africas-most-powerful-man-in-pictures-2016/

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yu-l6JlULiw

How does one scratch a perfect X in a hard to reach area by accident?

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More....

In the last couple of weeks I have waken up to find sharp thin marks on my body. On my thighs, bare chest, stomach....etc. Though a cause for concern I give up trying to make sense of it. Today's discovery however startled me. Below are snapshots of the strange mark I discovered at my back just hours ago. Is there a spiritual undertone to this?

I don't know if this a good place for what I want to say and ask. I'm sorry if it isn't. I must try because it's too important for me.

I was never into this stuff before. Never believed in such things. But life surprised me unpleasantly and now I must seek for help. It started happening few years ago and grew into something I can't handle anymore.

I've heard something about body energy, auras etc. I've heard all people have it. I guess it's alright for them because nobody is complaining.

My energy, aura (or whatever should I call it) is different. It's affecting people (little kids and animals also) in a not very pleasant way and it's completely out of my control.

I can sense presence of people without seeing them or hearing. And they somehow know about it. There is this invisible energy field around me. It will make people cough, choke, sniff, scratch their heads, whistle, make some obnoxious sounds or react in other weird, inappropriate way (when I'm out of their sight, silent). I saw them freezing, dropping things on the floor or looking at me with hostility, suspicion, fear. People would follow me when I'm walking in the supermarket until they realize it's not something they really wanted to do (like they would wake up from a hypnosis). When I'm passing by they will stop moving and just stand still with this blank stare. Some will simply run away or whisper something too me (rude things occasionally). When I speak to a single person it feels like my voice is directed to every person around. And they behave like it is. Everybody stops doing their thing and focus on what I'm saying. Not because I have a special or loud voice.

It's difficult for people to have a conversation which is audible for me. My brain will focus on what they are saying and will interfere somehow. They start feeling uncomfortable. Conversation ends awkwardly. If I hear somebody laughing out loud in far distance it will end up instantly making this person cough. I'm entering room full of people (I work in a restaurant) conversations stop, eating stops. Complete silence. I'm in the spotlight now. Some of them watch what am I doing with the biggest concern. Like everybody is waiting for me to do something unexpected. This will not happen because I don't want any attention, I just want to do my thing. I look normal and behave the same. As soon as I leave everything is back to normal, everybody is enjoying with a relief.

Animals are very sensitive to me. This dog ran like crazy when my finger moved. Not to mention other one that bit me.

It's unbelievable how fast people react when I would just look in their direction. For example: I'm riding on a train, some person outside is standing far away in the distance, turned back to me. I look (just a glance), this person feels something and reacts to this immediately. It happens also when I see somebody's reflection in window or when I observe through surveillance cameras. Person will start looking around, searching for something. But nothing is there except me, but I'm too far away to be noticed. Some people can't walk straight when I come close (they tend to go towards me). I'm just moving forward, looking somewhere else, minding my own business. Some have trouble with standing up from a table when sitting next to me. Like they were struggling with some kind of a force. Friend once told me this: "Something is pulling me in your direction. And it's something evil". He was drunk and didn't remember anything the next day. But it only confirmed my theory that I affect people under the influence even more.

Some can't stand my presence. Few flat mates moved out from the same apartment. Many of them complained about feeling weird or having strange dreams. So I avoid people as much as possible. I always try to stay away and be silent at all times, to not to draw any attention. But something inside me wants all of it and I can't help it. It wants everybody to just shut up and focus on me (in short).

I feel this energy mostly in my legs (feet precisely) and also hands (people often look at my hands with unusual attention). It's very uncomfortable and hard to describe feeling. Sometimes shivering occurs. Also I'm feeling some kind of a short circuit in my head when somebody is near and is doing something (making noise, talking, moving). Then this impulse I create will make this person react. These sensations will stop as soon as this person will fall asleep. It also calms down when I listen to my mp3 player, but strikes immediately after song ends. Silence makes energy more effective. Worst is when people cough. They do this a lot. Why? Does it make them feel better? Coughing occurs often when I'm feeling emotions (like fear, sadness, happiness, anger etc). When I would think about saying something to somebody I'm having conversation with, but not actually saying it. When I'm creating a conversation in my mind. When I think about a person near me and in many other various situations. Energy is strongest in the morning right after I wake up and in the evening when I'm tired. There are days when it's weak, but then the next day it will come back stronger. I wish I could explain all this better, but circumstances are against it. I hope you get the idea.

How do you think does it feel for a person when I'm near? What kind of feeling makes them do all these unexplainable things?

Maybe it would be fun to have such ability but only if it was under control. Mine is out of control and is with me all the time. It makes my life really miserable and exhausting. That's why I'm looking for any help.

What is happening to me exactly?

Can anybody help me? Perhaps tell me how to control it or just help me to understand it better? Now it's beyond my comprehension and it scares me. I would be thankful for any advice