₦airaland Forum

Yo momma is so fat her bellybutton gets home 15 minutes before she does.

Yo momma is so fat her bellybutton gets home 15 minutes before she does.

Yo momma is so stupid when an intruder broke into her house, she ran downstairs, dialed 9-1-1 on the microwave, and couldn't find the "CALL" button.

Yo momma is so fat, I took a picture of her last Christmas and it's still printing.

Uhm..

A family is at the dinner table. The son asks
the father, “Dad, how many kinds of boobs are
there?” The father, surprised, answers, “Well,
son, a woman goes through three phases. In
her 20s, a woman’s breasts are like melons,
round and firm. In her 30s and 40s, they are like pears, still nice, hanging a bit. After 50,
they are like onions.” “Onions?” the son asks.
“Yes. You see them and they make you cry.”
This infuriated his wife and daughter. The
daughter asks, “Mom, how many different
kinds of willies are there?” The mother smiles and says, “Well, dear, a man goes through
three phases also. In his 20s, his willy is like an
oak tree, mighty and hard. In his 30s and 40s,
it’s like a birch, flexible but reliable. After his
50s, it’s like a Christmas tree.” “A Christmas
tree?” the daughter asks. “Yes, dead from the root up and the balls are just for decoration.”

A couple are rushing into the hospital because
the wife is going into labor. As they walk, a
doctor says to them that he has invented a
machine that splits the pain between the
mother and father. They agree to it and are led
into a room where they get hooked up to the machine. The doctor starts it off at 20% split
towards the father. The wife says, "Oh, that's
actually better." The husband says he can't
feel anything. Then the doctor turns it to 50%
and the wife says that it doesn't hurt nearly as
much. The husband says he sill can't feel anything. The Doctor, now encouraged, turns it
up to 100%. The husband still can't feel
anything, and the wife is really happy, because
there is now no pain for her. The baby is born.
The couple go home and find the postman
groaning in pain on the doorstep.

Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding
anniversary. His wife was really angry. She
told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a
gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6
seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE!" The
next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the
window and sure enough there was a box gift-
wrapped in the middle of the driveway.
Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out
to the driveway, brought the box back in the
house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale. Bob has been missing since
Friday.

#1. Ugly girls will tag 95 people in a pic and still
get 2 likes, Probably from her family members.
#2. When a group of girls wanna take a
pic,they hand over the camera to her..if you're
that girl, then you're ugly.
#3. If no guy has ever paid your transport fare in a public bus,then you have to do something
about your looks..
#4. Whenever there is drama rehearsals in
your church, they always select you to play
the role of a witch, vampire or demon.
#5. Most girls with sweet names on fb like "mo" cute","pink Berry","Sexy Diva Queen","Nicky"
are usually very ugly
#6. Ugly girls won't even like this post cause
they are angry with me right now for exposing
them.

Once upon a time, a perfect man and a
perfect woman met.
After a perfect courtship, they had a perfect
wedding.
Their life together was, of course, perfect.
One snowy, stormy Christmas Eve, this perfect couple was driving their perfect car
(a Grand Caravan)
along a winding road, when they noticed
someone at the side of the road in distress.
Being the perfect couple, they stopped to
help. There stood Santa Claus with a huge bundle of toys. Not wanting to disappoint
any children on the eve of Christmas, the
perfect couple loaded Santa and his toys
into their vehicle.
Soon they were driving along, delivering
toys. Unfortunately, the driving conditions deteriorated and the perfect couple and
Santa Claus had an accident.
Only one of them survived the accident.
The mind numbing question is:
Who was the survivor? Scroll down for the
answer. .
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The perfect woman survived.
She's the only one who really existed in the first place.
Everyone knows there is no Santa Claus and
there is no such thing as a perfect man.
Women stop reading here.
That is the end of the joke.
Men keep scrolling. . .
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So, if there is no perfect man and no Santa
Claus, the perfect woman must have been driving. And that explains why there was a
car accident.