Great mother, You thought me to pray, be steadfast, believe in myself and always remember my root and who i am.

Thank you for your love and affection.

We got Obama's speech on video, pls those anyone have GEJ's speech on Video please post.

Hi Everyone,

Laugh it out, I can't help it

This is really the height of stupidity. Nigerian leaders na real olodo…

Once upon a time, when Baba Sege was in office as the president, he got an invitation from the Queen to come for a visit to England. After all the banquets and carriage rides and what not, Baba finally got the quiet moment he has craved all day in order to have a one on one chat with her majesty. After the usual small talk, Baba quickly popped the question (no silly not that question). He asked her what the secret to her success was.

You know Nigerians, we think everything is a secret…the President’s health status is a secret, his whereabouts is a secret, reports of the various panels of enquiry set up by govt to investigate the causes of different crises around the country are kept secret, we even have secret registries in every government agency in d country. Maybe we are a secretive people, we love secrets.`
Anyway, back to our story. So Baba asked for the SECRET to d Queens’s success and she told him that she relies on her people a lot and therefore she makes certain that only the intelligent get to positions of authority.
She decided to show him exactly what she meant and so she phoned Tony Blair and put him on speaker. "Now listen carefully, Mr. Obasanjo, I'm going to ask Mr. Blair a question to determine his intelligence.”
Queen: "Hello Mr. Blair, I have a question for you: your mother has a child, and your father has a child. This child is not your brother and is not your sister. Who is he?"
Tony Blair replied instantly, "It's ME your majesty!"
Queen: "Correct! Thank you and goodbye"
"You see Mr. Obasanjo?" said the Queen
"Yes”, he replied “and thanks a lot, I'll definitely be using that!"
Once back in Nigeria he decided that he has doubts about Mantu’s level of intelligence and he decided to test him. He arranged a meeting with him and asked him:
"Mantu I have a question for you; your mother and father have a child. The child is not your brother and is not your sister, who is he?."
Mantu thinks, and thinks………and thinks, and finally says, "Em, Mr. President, you must give me more time to think about it."
And Mr. Obasanjo gave him 2 weeks to come up with an answer. That afternoon, Mantu called a meeting of his all aides, advisers and assistants to discuss the question, but NOBODY knew the answer. So he decided to take it to the floor of the senate. After a heated debate the senate President thought it wise to clear out the gallery and go into a closed session as he believed the revelations that may result could be damaging to the family and reputation of the distinguished senator Mantu.
After about two hours of deliberations, the house decided to set up an ad hoc committee to look into the matter and report back to it in ten days. The committee was given the following terms of reference:
1. To come up with a complete family tree of the entire Mantu clan
2. To pay a courtesy call to the traditional ruler of Mantu’s village and the State Governor
3. To interview all living relatives of Senator Mantu
4. To determine if Sen. Mantu’s dad had any extramarital affairs
5. To determine the DNA composition of Sen. Mantu (in Germany of course or Saudi)
On completion of its assignment, the committee was to submit its report to the senate which will then pass it on to the Senate committee on special duties. This committee will then review the report of the ad hoc committee and come up with a draft “white paper” (whatever that means). This draft “white paper” will then be brought back to the senate and on approval will be passed on to the President through Senator Mantu.
The Ad-hoc committee then submitted its budget which of course was kept SECRET but included funds for;
a) The immediate purchase of Land Cruiser jeeps for each of the 12 members of the committee. The jeeps will be used to travel to Mantu’s village because as you know, Nigerian roads are bad and Mantu’s village is remote.
b) Air tickets (first class of course) and hotel accommodation in Jos for committee members and their numerous aides. They’ll stay at the Hill-station hotel and drive to Mantu’s village in the morning.
c) Air tickets (again first class) to Germany and back, and hotel accommodation (five stars) for everybody.
d) Estacodes and hazard allowances
e) Logistics
f) Miscellaneous
Even though the budget was kept secret, you can easily come up with the figure by taking the actual estimate of the above list and multiply by ten. You’ll only run into problems when u get to the final two items (logistics & miscellaneous) , as these are usually added to cover for all the people that need to be “settled” in order to ensure that everything goes smoothly. Therefore the figures have the tendency of varying widely and so it can’t really be predicted.
Anyway, the money was released and the committee started its assignment in earnest. They finished within the time frame that was stipulated in their terms of reference and they prepared a voluminous report which was to be presented at the senate at plenary. But on the d-day when the chairman of the committee was about to make the presentation, a distinguished senator from the Southern part of the country raised a “point of order”.

He argued that the committee was illegal because its composition was lopsided in favor of a certain region in the country. He pointed out that of the 12 members; seven were from the North and only five from the South. Not to be outdone, another Senator this time from the North raised a “point of order” on the “point of order” that was raised by the Senator from the South. He argued that since the committee’s assignment was primarily to investigate the lineage of Senator Mantu (who is from the North), they needed
senators who knew the terrain, who understood the culture of the people and their language.

More points of order followed and after a while the Senate President decided to put a stop to it by subjecting it to a voice vote.
And thus he announced, “All those in favor of the committee being considered legal and thus go ahead to present its report say “AYE””. And the house responded accordingly.
And then he asked again, “All those not in favor of the committee being considered legal and thus should not go ahead to present its report say “NAY””. And the house responded accordingly.
Unfortunately for Mantu, the “NAYs had it” and thus the report were never presented. Now Mantu has a really big problem, because the president is waiting for an answer and he has run out of time.

So in one last effort, he decided to phone his very good friend Jerry Rawlings who had always sounded intelligent to Mantu and thus may have the answer to this really difficult question.
"Jerry, your mother and father have a child. The child is not your brother and is not your sister, who is he?."
Jerry answers immediately. "Hey, Mantu, It's me of course, you dumb Nigerian!"

Mantu couldn’t believe his luck and so he rushed to Aso Rock villa, his motorcade of five cars moving at top speed with sirens blaring. Ordinary Nigerians going about their normal businesses scampered out of the way. When they finally arrived their destination, Mantu literarily ran all the way to the President's office.
"Mr. President, Mr. President”, he called out, breathing heavily. “I know who he is”
Obasanjo: “Good, so tell me”
Mantu: “ it’s Jerry Rawlings Sir! In fact when he revealed the SECRET to me, I started to see the resemblance between us"
Obasanjo: "Jerry Rawlings ko, Jerry Gana ni. You are such a stupid senator. Olodo rakpata! I'll make sure you don’t return to office after this term. Stupid man, the correct answer is TONY BLAIR!"
And that’s how Mantu never returned to the Senate even though he supported the President’s third term agenda.

1. Engineers (Petroleum, Civil, Electrical)
2. Bankers
3. Accountants
4. Doctors
5. Lecturers
6. Lawyers

The above is a joke right?
Lemme summarize"

Item 1. How much do they earn per annum compare to Kidnappers
Item 2. Hope it is not the Nigerian bankers? Sanusi is not done yet, so why go there.
Item 3. Accountants, jeez this guys gets a little taste of good life at 65yrs.
Item 4. Doctors, which onces? hope not the doctors that are always "begging" for better renumeration from the Govt.
Item 5. Lecturers, As we speak now they are on strike. hoover your beam light to the South East Unis. I rathered do conductor than this.
Item 6. Lawyers. All for the money, they can brandish a broadday light criminal innocent. Like the Keyamos, Aondokas etc.


NIGERIA IS A FAILED STATE PERIOD, the Indians and the Arabs doing biz here are releaving Nigerians of their job, only to tell you that they have state of the art IT tool do the same job anywhere in the world (from there countries), Indians have the technology, the Arabs have the money to buy. checkout what Ericsson did to their staff deployed to the failed Zain NG. and Arab IT firm is on the verge of following suite and we have Labour Laws. God give me strength and courage to start this much anticipated REVOLUTION. the Jerry Rawlings way.

Hi guys, i am in need of a VW commercial Bus, the 14 setter bus like the one most popular in Lagos.( Vanagon)

Requirement:

Petrol Engine
Accident Free
Good Engine, Tyre, Wheel and Body.

post details/Pix to lezeanya@gmail.com

Am interested, kindly post some pix other details to lezeanya@gmail.com, Am a serious buyer if the vehicle is in good condition.

Interested in Golf 111, can i have some piz please, send to lezeanya@gmail.com

i read ds dream of urs some days back. its funny though but go dream your own dream.

Good you've read it, but allow those who haven't to read and savour the message.

Dreams are a crazy stuff, especially when malaria has a hand and a foot in it. Fancy the dream I had last night. It was so scary it made a horror film look like a routine Lagos traffic jam. I woke up sweating and decided it was time to see the doctor.

I dreamt that Senator Ahmed Yerima was elected the President of Nigeria. He settled into Aso Rock and introduced a thirteen year old, Fatima, as his wife and First Lady of Nigeria . That instantly posed a problem for the media which did not know whether Nigeria had a First Child or First Lady. Opinion was divided, but Ray Ekpu of Newswatch stepped in and decided that the media should hold a national conference and take a common position on how to address the President’s teen wife so as not to embarrass the President.

The Nobel laureate Prof. Wole Soyinka maintained that to be grammatically correct, we should not address a child as a lady and asserted with authority that a “lady” is a term used to address “mature women” not “children.” He argued that she should remain a “First Child until further notice.” But the People’s Democratic Party maintained that the problem was not grammatical but political. To which famous lawyer, Chief Femi Falana pointed out that the “child” in question was not of voting age and as such should not impose a political burden on the country. He maintained that the nation should assume that the President had no legal wife or in the alternative ask him to produce another wife worthy of being addressed as a First Lady and who was of voting age.

We were still trying to solve the matter when we heard that some civil right groups had taken the matter to the court to annul the marriage and let the child go back to school. We told them to hold on that the child was still in school and will actually be a part time First Child or First Lady and part time student. The case was dropped. We would have rested the matter there but guess what? Along came Prof. Dora Akunyili (I mean Prof Dora Akunyili again!) and said she had it on good authority that Her Excellency was still bed-wetting. She said it would do great damage to her rebranding exercise and wondered “how you could rebrand a country when the First Lady was busy wetting beds abroad.”

The Federal Ministry of Health responded promptly that it had developed drugs which could take care of bed-wetting, but if the drugs were not okay, then the First Lady could use catheter in the night and not wet beds in presidential guest houses abroad. Everyone was relieved but guess what? The Central Bank came charging that such money would not be charged to any budgetary item and would amount to an extra-budgetary expenditure and fraud. The Economic and Financial Crimes Commission agreed and said the National Assembly should approve a “Bed-wetting allowance” for the president, before any fund was drawn. They noted that if the man were to travel as much as President Olusegun Obasanjo did, then it would add to the national inflation and would be difficult to justify based on existing financial regulations.

Well the debate was still raging when we heard that President Barrack Obama was coming to Nigeria on a state visit and would be accompanied by his wife, Michele. Civil liberties organizations swung into action and tried to persuade the American Embassy to postpone the trip until the “First Lady” issue was resolved. But the Embassy said the visit was part of a tour of strategic African states and Nigeria was amongst the most important in Africa .

Obama actually came and was met on the tarmac by President Yerima with his wife, Fatima, in tow. Obama thought Her Execllency, Mrs Fatima Yeriama, was the garland girl and bent down to have her hang a garland on his neck. Her Excellency on the other hand thought differently in the innocence of her childlike heart, and thought he was bending down to admire her dress. She giggled and said, “Isn’t this a very wonderful dress? It is the same color with my undies.”

Michele laughed heartily and picked up Her Excellency in her hands, stroking her head. I nearly fainted! She turned to President Yerima and said, “This should be your beautiful daughter, where is her mother -your wife?” To which President Yerima looked at her stunned, not knowing what to say. The American ambassador to Nigeria stepped in and saved the situation, “Mrs. Obama, that is the President’s wife that you are carrying in your hands. You may wish to put her down beside her husband so that the reception will continue.”

The Nigerian First Lady who had been struggling to get out of Michele’s hands, looked up indignantly at the American First Lady, said, “I will not be your friend again. Only my husband carries me up and you dared to carry me up.”

President Obama stroked his tie thoughtfully and said, “Let us not have a diplomatic row over this, I forgot to tell Michele that in Africa you catch them young. It is entirely my fault. My apologies to the First Couple. And now Mr President can we proceed to other reception formalities?”

Soon the airport reception was over and the two First Ladies had to while away time while the Presidents discussed matters of state. Mrs Yerima insisted on showing Mrs Obama her toys and her grades in school. The other women stood idly by as one baby doll after the other was shown to Mrs Obama. “My husband bought this toy for me from China , she can even sing, let me play it for you.” Mrs Obama nodded. Her Excellency Fatima hit the button and the doll began to sing, “God damn America the great Satan, down with the infidels and down with the west…” Mrs. Obama cringed but the child paid her no heed.

She bounded over to the television and turned it on. Then she moved the dial to Cartoon Network and turned to Mrs Obama, “Do you watch Tom and Jerry?” But by this time Mrs Obama had had enough, she fainted and had to be flown back to America .

I was filing the report to my Uncle (An editor) when my babe woke me up and said it was time to take my anti-malaria drug.

I dont thinking Jonathan needs a four year team to write his name in gold in Nigerian history 11 months to go is a lot of time to do something that will make him the best, greatest and amiable leader ever. fix existing national issues and worry about your political future thereafter are my sencere advice to him.

Afterall Awolowo begged to rule Nigeria just for one day (even though he had personal motives for that) but then it goes to say alot in the scheme of things.

skyndyp could you kindly inbox me at lezeanya@gmail.com, i love those beads you are wearing and would love to get one for my fiancee. she has got same skin color like yours. i just want to make it a suprise, maybe your contact will do cause (if u dont mind) i would seek advice from you.

Help me get this done.

Amaka, could you please post a piz of Miss IMO for my viewing pleasure, i think this girl is not beautiful but gorgeous, This year's judges are amateurs,

Things were going fine until she told me she had missed her cycle and she really felt good about it, even though i know she is not my taste for a wife or mother to my offspring.

Iwu is not the problem! the electoral system is, though he is the head and should account for all, but then a tree can not make a forest, no man is an island. without proper and open electoral reform we will still encounter the same problem. asides iwu we have 36/37 resident electoral officers, they may continue with their hanky panky motives even under a new chairman.

I believe iwu did his best, with time nigerians will understand. I hope for the best and better elections though. Thanks IWU you've done your bit.

It's painful DaGrin is gone, i symphatize with his family. i have read lots of comments on this thread emphazing on why he was not flown abroad for medical treatment, what annoys me in this country is that thing that are wrong are not talked about until a public figure becomes a victim of it. think of the majority of Nigerian who can not even afford access to Nigerian health care who loss their loved ones while begging the hospital mgt a attend to their sick ones? it happen everywhere, recently the senate passed a bill that gun shot injury be treated without poilice report, this happened because of the death of a journalist who was shot by armed robber in this house. there again we have journalist in this country who scrample for stuff to report when there are lots of things to report about which are wrong in this country.  for example LASTMA official asking you for driving license, and car particulars when they should be controlling traffic. it's madness. this is just one of many.

R.I.P DaGrin ---- The society you find yourself dont care

Niaja people go carry generator for the car booth, so that e go dey CHARGE AS YOU GO.

The judgement is issue in this country is worrisome, Iwu being the INEC chairman those not translate he is the Electoral Officer in the 36 states of the federation. what if he gives an instruction on better conductor of elections and the Resident Electoral officer goes against it then who should be crucified. A Governor is indicted on financial crime what then happens to his commissioner whose ministry or parastatal fund was looted. until we leave sentimental judgement in all thing i fear for Nigeria.

Driving on the Lekki-Ajah express way in Lagos, Nigeria , I see uncountable cars, some so expensive you wonder what it would feel like driving one, mansions, office complexes, relaxation spots dot the road all the way to VI, meeting people further makes you wonder, how much Nigeria has developed, so many professionals, so many private institutions and organizations doing excellently well, and this gives you hope, hope that Nigeria is rising again gradually, however don't be deceived, you still get to your home and there is no electricity, your beautiful office is powered by generators 24hours daily, you cannot wind down your car windows because of fear of armed robbery, you suspect every car that follows you too far and pull to the side of the road just for it to pass, you dare not send your children to government schools, except you want them to sit on broken chairs in class, you dare not go to a government hospital unless you want PHCN to take away electricity supply abruptly while they are operating on you, our old and disabled people have absolutely no care.

Venturing out of Lagos, villages dot the road sides, going further into the villages, you will find people who have never seen electricity, within Lagos, children hawking instead of being in school, our government has continued to fail us and no matter how privileged you think you are, it affects you, imagine you have a heart attack, before you can get to hospital its over, no ambulances, no emergency response, even if it doesn't affect you now, it will affect your children tomorrow. Many people live in abject poverty, as individuals we seem to be good enough, but as a nation we are a bunch of people with the majority of us impoverished. We are so engrossed in our pursuit of personal comfort that we have forgotten about the real problems sorrounding us.

My hopes,

My hope is built on the number of Nigerians getting interested in the Nigerian project, many Nigerians are beginning to ask questions, people are already talking about the 2011 elections, there is hope that many more people will vote and wait to defend their votes, there is an agitation that is gathering pace, many intellectuals and professionals now realise that having the money to use a generator 24hours a day isn't the solution to their problems, many more people now want answers, many more people believe government should be accountable to the masses. People have realised ineffective whining is not the solution to the cankerworm eating away our future. People are beginning to show interest in being a part of the change that is bound to come to Nigeria. Many Nigerians are now more aware of the depreciated conditions of our educational, health, tourism, transport, technological, just to mention a few, sectors, our country is in a state of limbo and only positive actions by forward thinking Nigerians can resolve the situation.

My fears,

However, a careful analysis shows there is still a lot to be scared of, protests have been called in various states in the country, many Nigerians refused to be actively involved, when church or mosque activities are called, they are filled to the brim, but when the time comes to fight for your future and the future of your children, people prefer to sit at home, or claim they cannot take leave from work, I shudder at the thought that we will wake up in 10 years and discover we are still whining and crying, when we should have acted. I'm filled with trepidation at the thought that come 2011, many of those who are talking and shouting will be nowhere to be found, I fear that we will have talked the talk, but will not be found when its time to walk the talk.

One other fear I have is the students, I wonder where our student unions have vanished to, they should be the ones leading this agitation, Wale Oshun, Femi Falana, Tunde Bakare, Wole Soyinka and co have lived a while, these students still have a long future ahead of them, we the younger ones are the ones who should be making the most noise, we should only be getting advice and moral support from the likes of Tunde Bakare, Femi Falana, Wole Soyinka and Wale Oshun, how I wish the spirit of the student generation that fought against military oppression can be re-enacted, I wonder where our student unions are!

I have another fear, this is my most major fear, the fear for the area boys, the agberos, the uneducated market women, who takes this message to them? How should they learn not to sell their future for a few naira notes that will finish on the same day? These people are the ones who really vote, these area boys are the ones who wait and watch votes counted and aid all the rigging because they are paid to do it, I tell you these area boys are the ones ready to lay down their lives for a cause they believe in, the uneducated Nigerians are a major factor in deciding who rules us, they are the real ones who can resort to civil disobedience if they are not satisfied, but how do we reach them? How do we get our message to them? How do we carry out a positive re-orientation of these people? How do we make them realise they are the ones that need this change most? I am burdened by these thoughts, and at the moment, I do not have answers!


I weep for Nigeria my country. in ibo in Yoruba and in hausa

n

May their souls rest in peace.

I was asked to leave my girlfriend for another guy who was a cultist with a pump action (awka made) pointed to my forehead. i refused and got beaten up by the guys's gang that night right infront of my girl and her hostel mates. it wasnt funny at all. though i reterlated some weeks after, today that guy is my friend, we once went for a hike together before graduation and my girl then is happily married to another guy now and wont pick my calls or see me as a friend.

W.O.M.A.N ---- Wow Onto MAN

I remember vividly the days of the millitary region regime in Nigeria when students under the umbrella of NANS will protest any unlaw deed in the Country, from Fuel Price increase to unlawful killing/Assasination of citizens. today what do you have? Nothing, corruption has eaten up the mind and reasoning of Nigerian student, that they have forget "Aluta Continua Victoria Acenta" .

I thinks now is the time again for the Nigerian Students to rise up again, take hold of the situation in Nigeria, and request due process and rule of law be followed in the scheme of things in Nigeria. I foresee hard times and debates in the country courtesy of the return of the President and the sudden powers of the First Lady. We are heading to a major disaster, if not tackled.