₦airaland Forum

Thanks for sharing guys! I've really been laughing my butts off.

Well my dad died when i was 3 and my mum was more into canes and really inventive punishments, not slaps. But i wont forget the slap i got during my sec. School days. My mum asked me to go collect debt owed by some of her customers. After collecting the dough, i had to trek back some distance. We had bible study to attend that evening so i trekked at a faster pace. I noticed a Mad man on the side of the road so i quickened my steps a little. All of a sudden the mad man accelerated towards me and before i could say 'Jack Sparrow', the mad man burn me slap!! Omo whether i reach ground or not sef i still no know till date but all i know was that the brain reset message i got was:'guy, cross to the other side immediately!!'

till today i cant remember how i got to the other side of that wide road. I just thank God it was those days that the traffic in PortHarcourt was minimal.

Onosy: Some dudes here grab every little opportunity to insult other people even when the person just shared his opinion....this goes a long way to show how they were brought up...no moral standard...

That's y they can't even show their true identity here.....

I am more than u in all things....got no time for guys like u...hiss!!!

Mister your very first words were: ''Most Nigerians are foolish.....'' and now u question his morality and his upbringing......shouldn't we also question your upbringing since you have insulted almost every Nigerian and bragged about how much you are 'more than him in all things'?
You made alot of sense about people's penchant for spending alot of money for products when there are cheaper competitive alternatives but honestly you are in no position to insult others as per their choices. One thing you forget is that most Nigerians operate on this principle: when a deal or product seems too good to be true, it almost always is! This Tecno is surprisingly good for its price so people would slowly learn to trust the brand as nobody wants to fall 'mugu'. Beyond that Nigerians are among the most brand-conscious people (for good or bad). So dont insult people o. After all, these brands are still very high in quality.
I never thought i would consider using anything Chinko but most likely i would get this N9.

Afam4eva: I doubt if the woman actually beat two police officers as been painted in the article. I guess she was just making trouble and shoving the police women. Where will one woman have the power to beat one police woman let alone two. If the police women were to decend on her the way they normally do, this would have been a case of "police brutality" and the woman would have been giving own account from Igbobi general hospital. I think the police women should be hailed for not towing the path of shame.

Afam you are so right. As soon as i started reading the story, the first thing that popped in my mind was that skit on 2Face's album that a kid was saying:''Ah you can lie o...''
if you have had dealings with the police, you would know that they are serial liars. I know there are exceptions to the rule but i dont believe she beat them unless an eyewitness comes here to tell us how she did it.

kokoye: Well, I hope everyone on this thread is married ..or else my post may make no sense to you.

When you live together, there WILL be disagreements that if not well managed, may lead to something else. You have to understand your partner and know how to diffuse the situation.

I personally dont like going back n forth when tensions are high cos I have realised it doesnt work out well FOR US.

If as a result of your emotions or anger, you say things that are hurtful to me, I may naturally want to get back at you verbally ..then we start hurting each other with words. I dont go that.

Instead, I WILL KEEP QUIET ..or WALK AWAY IF NECESSARY.

We tend not to think right or listen when we are are angry.

If you keep shouting at me or saying hurtful things, you are simply just extending my silent period. I cant talk to you because you are too 'high' to listen to me or think right.

When we both calm down (not matter how long it takes..hours in most cases), then I will get my points across and listen as well - that is effective and efficient communication.

Call it silent treatment but that is what works for me. I'm not forcing it on you.

@kokoye i think what u put up there isn't 'silent treatment'. Even article states that given time for emotions to come down can be beneficial as it helps the couple to avoid saying things they would regret. Silent Treatment is basically ignoring ur mate as a form of revenge or manipulation for them to see how 'wrong' their actions or views are and how much you are hurt by them.
My 1.5 kobo

This sickness is not so rare na....many nigerian footballers have it.:p

iresearcher: Omo, you are a smart dude

Its amazing how people dont read and more shocking is the number of people that
dont read compared to those that read and comprehend.

The 2 stories are perfectly the same just the use of words made the difference.
So many illiterates online these days and that is why Nigerians fail woefully.

Smae stories can appear on NL and also on Yahoo news. go read the comments. You will see amazing differences

The same thing you see all over FB. What is happening to my country abeg

what are you guys on about sef? The original thread is still on FP. The OP said the flight taxied, GOT AIRBORNE and landed again. Dana is saying what the OP stated is 'erroneous and misleading' and that the flight was NEVER airborne. So pray tell, how are they 'perfectly' saying the same thing?
Yes they both agree that there was a 'snag' or Technical fault' and that the passengers were eventually 'ferried' by another plane but that doesn't mean the two reports are the same. If the two reports are the same, can u categorically tell us if the 'snag' was noticed during pre-flight tests or after take-off?

[quote author=Rhino.5dm]Abeg na which section I go carry this tory go? [/quote]Of course its either the 'Aru' section or the 'Ewwww' section.

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abeg make we hear word! People dont have power for weeks and months and u r here ranting about inverters. What power would the inverters be charged with?
Inverters only make sense wheree u have at least 8-12 hours of power on a daily basis. Beyond that u need some power management skills so dont sound like inverters are the best inventions since toasted bread!
NB:i am typing this from my phone which is currently being charged by my inverter and i even use solar panels. All this doesnt stop me from using my generators! The truth is power from PHCN is still the best, no doubt. Inverters are good but they cant solve all our power problems as some of you inverter-vendors claim.
@ topic power has improved in my area for the past 2 weeks.......before that it was super horrible. I rep PHC to d fullest.

Well it depends on the firm. I think its best to find out from someone in the firm that is a 3rd party contract personnel. Some firms almost automatically renew these contracts every year and you see people who spend decades in that level. U could ask someone who works there before u inquire about the potential availabilty of a 2-year contract from HR. Wish u the very best bro.

goodsegs: Hello,
i am currently working as a permanent staff with an IT firm.But i got a juicy offer with a third party company to an Oil company.is a contract position that will be renewed after every one year.Now,my fear is that,what if the contract is not renewed at the end of the first year? It may put me under alot of pressure.I am yet to accept the offer as i told them to give me one week to decide.Now,someone advised i ask them to make me a 2 years contract offer on a goal.I am yet to relay this to the firm,but how do you think is best to negotiate this deal? the offer is good and i do not want it to sly.Kindly advise.

herquleez: so some people dont know that airbags are deadly for kids abi.

Nawa o. The poor girl paid for someone's folly.

Airbags are violent, and it's like an explosion when it pops, it can even break a finger in the process and that's why the 10:2 position is the best way to hold a steering wheel.

RIP little one...

Dude i think the 10:2 position is no longer viewed as the best; i read somewhere that the 9:3 postion is ideal due to the presence of airbags. You should try looking it up.

If Lagos is one of the most expensive cities in Africa then PortHarcourt would be one of the most expensive cities in the world.
Most Lagosians that relocate to PH find the cost of living to be considerably higher than what they were used to in Lag. Abuja peeps also notice the same but console themselves with the fact that they pay less for accomodation.
Yenagoa i think is even more expensive than PH.
Thus this 'research' doesnt really make sense to me.

My favorite just has to be 'Who Are My?'
If i remember correctly its about someone who lost his memory so the title ought to have been 'Who Am I?'

Da gr8tosyn: So most of you Nairalanders are from upcountry, no wonder you say funny things about lagos and Fashola...

Community Primary School, Eleja-Itire, Surulere, Lagos State.
Atunrase Boys' High School, Surulere, Lagos State.
Olabisi Onabanjo University, Ago-Iwoye, Ogun State.

SL baby!! Used to live close to Eleja and have friends dat attended Atunrase....big ups man
As for me though born and quarter-bred in Lagos, i rep PHC to d fullest acada-wise
i rep PortHacourt Primary School(aka PòtóPòtó primary)
i rep Government Comprehensive Secondary School, Borikiri, PHC
i rep Rivers State University Of Science And Technology, Nkpolu, PHC
Still in PH.....

OP do you by any chance work for The Sun newspaper? You would fit into their team because you equally share a passion for sensational headlines.
Well as Yuzedo said, Osaze talks too much. There are so many players that have been or are in his shoes but they dont go about badmouthing and blaming the fans for their decisions. He should know how to use social media;we already have Joey Barton, we dont need him to join that ignoble bandwagon. Real players respect their fans. What would reallybe stupid is if he apologizes about his rantings AGAIN.

[quote author=ekt_bear]I can't wear skinny jeans because my nuts don't fit.[/quote]I opened this thread because i knew someone would quote that line......Ur head dey there joor!!
U can pay for school/jeans but u cant buy class!!!

Cop 1: John read him his rights.
Cop 2: *coughs twice* You have the right...uh....*what d hell am i doing?* to remain silent.......er u have the right to an attorney *an attorney?! Jesus Christ what kinda job is this?!what r we doing here? And more importantly, Y didnt i call in sick?* you er er.........
Gary: *with australian accent* MEEEEEEHHHHH!!!!!

ogugua88: [size=13pt]Arsene Wenger go contact them soon. Shebi transfer period never end?

Piqué before Mebarak? Now that's unique

Congrats to them![/size]

i had to double check to see if its another Ogugua......abi somebody steal ur password?! U even know Wenger and his antics.....u even spelt his name right!!
Hmmm wonders haven't gree to end!!

I'm finding it hard to get past d Senator's name:CRAPO.:p Men i just cant stop laughing

Yes o.....he and his fellow CERTIFIED MALADMINISTRATORS should really be scared.
Ah Naija! See ur best ever president! Just like Alams is the best ever Governor of Bayelsa! We celebrate incompetence and mediocrity with such aplomb, pomp and panache. Nigeria is like a rich man who throws a party for building a one-room plywood apartment in a slum. SMHWW

[quote author=fyne_Ijay]I believe two wrongs don't make a right. I know the girl was wrong, but what of all the s,ex they have had together. Can she also take it back.[/quote]Are the gifts payments or giving in exchange for s.ex? Is this some kinda prostitution or what? GOD'S WAYS ARE ALWAYS THE BEST.
Well i believe that any gift giving during a relationship should not be returned. Thus i think its best to only give gifts that u could do without irrespective of the direction the relationship takes. (and i dont think an engagement ring is a gift...the mature thing is for the lady to return it irrespective of the cost or beauty or whatever.)

Its gradually receding in Onelga (Omoku, Ebocha, Ndoni area). The road that leads to Owerri from the area is now motorable...other roads are now passable too. Some have moved back to their homes while some haven't since the water hasn't completely receded.

timbros: Hmmm now let see, what should i have done differently...

* I should have listened to wifey to hire an emcee instead of using my friend who volunteered to do it for free.

uhmmm what again? Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

My wedding was a wonderful one. Small wedding (just 100 cards shared) but boy, we had a blast! DJ was so awesome, nobody gree go again...even me that doesnt know how to dance danced sotey my suit was soaked all over with "heat" lol...

Come March, my anniversary will still be the same way!

enjoy my brother. I trust my 'JW' bro to arrange his wedding wella....

Some people have implied planning your wedding yourself is an excercise destined for failure. Well i beg to differ. I planned and executed my wedding plans with the assistance of my wife, family and some wonderful friends and i can say it was definitely a resounding success.
1. My work takes me out of town for two weeks every month but we arranged weekend meetings when i was around.
2. We assigned duties to committed, mature people; we divided the hall into 5, assigned each segment to someone and got people to work under him to share food drinks and souvenirs.
3. My wife and i butchered the list of prospective invitees until we got a manageable number...the turnout was just ok and everyone got to eat.
Alot of other factors came together to make it a success. The compliments we received that period where just too many......i'm the last child so the level of organization seen in my wedding earned me respect from my siblings. I feel we were quite fortunate with somethings and we thank God for his support. Infact i remember telling my best man at the end of the day that i just got another reason to believe God exists. GOOD WEDDINGS DO NOT COME BY CHANCE.
PS. I am enjoying the marriage o....its a massive upgrade on the wedding.....to Jah be all the glory.

Oh Kebbi! Six years after i still cant get over u completely! See me on this thread 'liking' almost everyone's comment. Well i served in Karaye Village Maiyama LGA around 2006/2007. Wasnt easy but we had fun in our own way. The weather should not be too bad now....expect really cold harmattan soon and heat that makes u feel the sun has moved in next door around march, april. We survived so u guys would do too....
If u like freedom to mingle freely, try and go to Zuru......anyways enjoy camp first! Wish u guys the best.
PS: if u r a Jehovah's witness, try and get to Birnin-Kebbi, Zuru or Yelwa......only places u would see K.Halls and have some freedom for preaching....ciao

geezyk: God bless u for this post... U just said my mind... Must everything we discuss here mean we're political detractors But as u said,let him clear d sawdust in his brains b4 spitting out shit about politics

Abeg She was just being sarcastic as she often is (i imagine her laughing and shaking her head at ur comment)....don't take her words seriously.

OP: thanks for sharing. People in 'love' (especially the young) often have this gree-die spirit when it comes to relationships, wrongly believing that there is only one person for them or nobody can love them like this person despite their numerous weaknesses or even that they are so compatible with so-and-so person that they are even a perfect match. This clouds their judgement even when they are both AS. I know because it happened to me. I broke up with two ladies due to genotype but the third one wasnt easy. If not for her bad character that later developed i might have been somewhere by now worrying each time she gets pregnant if the child would SS or not. Tufiakwa!
Men i did gentotype tests like 7 times; 2 tests proclaimed me AA while 5 confirmed me AS. This further made it hard to end the relationship. Well we thank Jah it ended and i married a lovely lady thats AA(yes o i had her tested like 3 times in different places!)
Hence some of us evidently need such info so as to know the harsh realities of the condition and know if we would willingly wish to subject our future kids to this.

Guy dont allow cynicism to blind you. The guys are not jobless; their 'crime' is wanting to spend more time with their families and helping out with chores. Some men are very good at that and even enjoy it. If the guy that drives to his wife shop everyday started a thread complaining that though his job provides for the family adequately, his wife is pushing him to go and hustle with his spare time, u would most likely come here and bash women (afterall u have already called them Oliver Twist).
Beyond that if money is so good and wonderful, how come the really poor are not commiting suicide in droves but sometimes even the rich do? Being rich should never be equated with being happy, fulfilled and content.
Nuff Said
madam Debrief, thanks for ur response on the matter.

bjcole: women & their funny comments, so if a man has not turn to houseboy, u wont luv him, d world is surely upside down, Someone drives 2 his wife shop everyday & stay there throughout D day & he is nt praying 4 it change. I rather be a femi otedola r mike Adenuga with little or no time 4 wify gossips, than a woman rapper.The more time u spend wit a woman in d house, d more insults u receive.Women olivertwists little wonders some f d commentators here r nt still satisfy even after all d so called treat.

I've been married for just a year and three months so i dont really feel 'qualified' to talk about marriage. So far to be honest its been too easy. We just compliment each other so well that quarrels are basically non-existent. We r just so proud of eachother. She is so strong, worked real hard during her pregnancy. Infact her allround strength made me so calm and confident during her labour and delivery. I just knew if God protected her from uncertaintities she would deliver quite easily and she did. She has been my best friend, my confidant, an excellent cook and i pray we grow from strength to strength.

OP additionally, search NL for the dude with this handle (dopejemi), check out his signature and apply it in ur life.....that should work big time!

OP you have received alot of advice. I want to believe you are smart enough to analyse, sift and implement the advice u have been given. But i think you should start from yourself. I have former colleagues who call me to complain about the treatment they are receiving from their workmates when in reality their inadequacies is the root of their problem and they wrongly assume its envy. While im not saying thats ur case, it wouldnt hurt to first look inwards. Most people lack the ability to carry out a truly objective self-introspection. I hope that isnt ur case. Wish u the very best.