₦airaland Forum

Hello Nairaland. with the news of Ebola all over the place , do you thing the FG want us change focus and pressure on them.. because now Any news about Ebola people love to hear about it and it goes
viral...
So guys what do you think?

hello guys
how do I go about it? in moving to Canada.

sources; http://lovequt..com/

Here’s a tip for daters over 50 to remember: Some topics are never okay for a first date. Never! That's not to say that they aren't tempting, but learn to avoid these subjects. They rarely reflect well on you, and there's time for tough topics later — but if you bring them up now, there may not be a later. Here they are, in descending order of danger:
Why your ex was so terrible: It doesn’t matter if your ex was the worst person on the planet — don't go there. Even if you have true stories that would curl the hair of anyone listening, the ultimate impact is one of distaste.
This thought will occur to your listener: “Maybe this person brings out the worst in someone!” or, “I wonder what the ex's side of the story is... .”
The money you lost in your latest divorce: There are two offenses here. One, complaining about money, even if you were economically pillaged, isn't a good idea. Your listener may feel that you're cheap, overly materialistic, or just not being fair. Even if your date commiserates, the impact is sordid.
This gets further compounded if you've been married multiple times. Divorce happens, so people understand once they know you. But in the beginning, your date may feel that she can't be special in your life, and you eventually end up blaming your partners instead of being thoughtful about your own role in making a relationship work.
Portraying your dead or divorced ex-spouse as a saint: Don't create an icon of your deceased spouse. If you feel that you must talk about your beloved ex-spouse, then you're probably not ready to date again.
That's okay. There's no shame in realizing that you aren't emotionally ready to let another person back into your heart. But it's not fair to be with a new person, especially on a first date, and have your heart and mind elsewhere.
You may, however, just be talking about your ex because so much of your life was intertwined with her. It's understandable, but avoid it because it will make your date feel that you're not emotionally free yet. It's even worse if you only speak of how amazing, fabulous, kind, and loving your partner was. Who's brave enough to try and compete with someone who has achieved sainthood in her ex-spouse's mind?!When talking about your past, use the word “I” as opposed to “we” — even if you're describing something that you and your ex did together. If you use the word “we” all the time, you'll make your date feel like you still think of yourself as part of a couple.
Health: If you feel your date is a compassionate person, you may be tempted to share some of your physical challenges with her. This isn't a good idea because you're telling her that you are or have been physically vulnerable, and this could scare her away.
After she gets to know you, she may be willing to take on everything about you — including a serious illness — but if you set up a frightening picture of your health on hello, she may think it's safer to avoid you. You don't owe her all this information now. Later, probably, but not now
If you're a jock and you seek someone who is very active, ask her whether she likes to hike. If she does, you can talk about specific hikes she or you have taken, and that should tell you enough about her level of ability to enjoy the same activities that you do.
Sex: Keep it zipped when it comes to sex. It doesn’t matter if she's dressed like a sexy babe or he has bedroom eyes, a first date should avoid the topic of sex at all costs. There have been plenty of derailed first dates on which a man — and less often, a woman — brings up how important sex is and what he expects out of a partner.
In general, he grosses out or scares his prospective partner. Unless you're just looking for a hookup and know that's what your date wants too, this topic is almost guaranteed to turn off the other person. So even someone who loves sex is likely to cross you off the list.
Kids: It's okay to talk about your children — but just a little. You don't want your date to think that you're just looking for someone to parent or grandparent with! So:
Don't show more than one picture of your kids or grandkids.
Don't rhapsodize about their lives, trips you've taken together, and so on.
Don't mention that they would have to approve of any serious relationship.
Just say you love your kids and other kids (if you do), and you have a good relationship with them and their families (if you do).
Remember to avoid the tough stuff. If your child has challenging health, has been in trouble with the police, is neurotic — whatever — leave it be. Again, you want this date to be about the joy of discovery and having fun together. If you're suited for each other, you'll talk about these and other issues as the relationship deepens.
Money: You can talk about your job, your trips, and your hobbies, and these topics will reveal whether you have discretionary income and also tell you something about your partner's lifestyle.
But any direct questions such as “How much do you earn?” or “Has it been economically hard on you being a single mother?” are a very bad idea. People don't want to feel that they're being assessed as a potential business partner, an economic life jacket, or a lifestyle bonanza.
Stay in the present. Talk about each other and what you're doing. Don't bring up the past too many times except as a charming or illustrative anecdote that helps your date understand who you are now. Don't weigh this first date down with sad details or the glowing memory of a deceased spouse. Create fun, laughter, insight, and warmth.

If you’re dating after 50, and you've been out of the dating market for a long time, you may not recognize some of the pitfalls that certain types of people present. This isn't intended to scare you, but being aware of a few red flags can help you save time and energy so that you can move on to more promising dates.
Don't jump to conclusions about anyone, but if you recognize any of these kinds of people on a date, you might want to back off.
Most people are what they seem to be, so don't be so wary that you don't give people a fair chance. Dating success requires a combination of having an open mind and an open heart but not sacrificing your good judgment in the process.

Avoid dating narcissists
Everybody can be selfish — that's only human. But narcissists are always selfish. It's all about them, 24/7. Narcissists are only nice to get what they want, and they have no larger principles of fairness or responsibility.
Their promises mean nothing; they only make such promises if they think you need to hear them. And they only make good on those promises if doing so helps them get what they want.
Narcissists are extremely charming. The clever ones mirror you and tell you exactly what you want to hear. Others talk only about themselves, and at the end of the date, they probably don't know one thing more about you than they started with. They make a lot of “I” statements and even tell you about you — before you do.
They think they know more about everything than you do. They break dates carelessly or court you with passion and then disappear mysteriously. They change plans on you without taking your needs or expectations into consideration.
If you've had enough of this kind of treatment (and the hope is you will get fed up), then you may want to end the relationship and look for someone who has the capacity to love someone besides herself.
A note of caution here: Narcissists often have a very fragile ego (which is one of the reasons they protect it all the time), so you want to break up with one carefully. You don't want this person in a rage because you've punctured her egocentric bubble.
People with borderline personality disorder
People with borderline personality disorder are completely self-absorbed — to the degree that it's a clinical diagnosis. These people have such deep needs for attention that they can't stand anyone else getting it. They may fly into a rage if their ego is threatened, and they never, ever feel responsible for anything that goes wrong. Someone else is always at fault.
They'll have you walking on eggshells, apologizing, trying not to get them angry, and catering to their every need. How did they get you to this place? It didn't happen suddenly — they were charming in the beginning, perhaps smart, and maybe very handsome, successful, or beautiful.
But as time goes on, you notice that they're manipulative. They may play you against someone else and make you insecure and jealous. It only gets worse, so if this description starts to sound familiar, date elsewhere.
If your date talks often about past lovers and partners and starts comparing you unfavorably to them, this may be a sign that you're with someone who is at the very least a narcissist and possibly has borderline personality disorder.
Avoid dating players (ludic lovers)
If you're dating just to date and not looking for a partner, then by all means date what psychologist John Lee has called “ludic lovers” and what others often refer to as “players.” Whatever you call them, these people adore the challenge of falling in love and winning over someone's heart before losing interest. They like the “game” of love, not the deeper processes of commitment and attachment.
Some players are obviously manipulative, but not all of them know what they're doing. Sooner or later (usually sooner), they find fault with everyone they've ever been with or loved because some trait emerged that “destroyed” the relationship. They have many hopeful beginnings, but somehow, nothing is ever quite right.
Recognizing players isn't always easy because your relationship with them begins in the way your dream first date would begin. They're totally taken with you. They come on strong, and they're amazed at how perfect you are and what a great fit the two of you are.
Your only cue may be how quickly and deeply they fall for you. So be cautious and follow the old adage about something being too good to be true.
If you meet someone you suspect is a player, delicately find out how long he has been on the dating circuit, how many relationships he has had in the last few years, and how long the relationships lasted. It's easy to ask whether he was ever married and for how long. In general (though not always), you can predict the future from the past.
Avoid dating money scammers
Who wants to have to buy someone's affections? Don't kid yourself about someone who asks you for money or gifts or manipulates you so that you offer these things. For such a person, the money is the most important thing about you.
Men and women who want access to your bank account can be difficult to recognize right away. They know that you may be sensitive about such things, so they probably won't come right out and ask you your net worth.
But they will ask you questions designed to find out how well you live. They may hint at things they'd love you to buy them or have a story (perhaps true) of an economic hardship, hoping you'll jump in and help them out. You have to decide whether you like being a sugar daddy or momma. If your generous nature overcomes your caution, remember that this person's love for you may only go pocket-deep.

soures; http://lovequt..com/2014/08/4-types-of-dates-to-avoid.html

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McWhillion: "Babe, I ve got the Ebola virus" is the best way to breakup

you funny

There is an infamous scene in Sex and the City where the character Carrie proclaims, "He broke up with me on a post-it!" If you saw this episode , you probably recall the angst in her eyes, the gasps from the girls and the pass a police officer gives her out of sympathy. While this is hilarious for a sitcom, it brings up a real question: is there ever a proper way to end a relationship?

So, you have rationally searched your soul (hopefully) and decided that this person and this relationship are not a fit, are not fixable and that you must move on. To linger would be cruel to both of you; nobody wants to later find out that someone did not want to be with him or her, but was afraid to say goodbye. Your next step is to take a deep breath and follow a plan that allows both of you to exit with dignity, grace and hopefully some closure.
As you make your plan on when and where to say goodbye, be conscious of the fact that at one time there was something you thought was great about this person. If that does not work for you, ask yourself how you would want to be treated if your boyfriend were saying goodbye to you.
Break up in person! This cannot be stressed enough; as long as the individual does not represent a physical danger to you, have the courtesy to say goodbye face to face in a place where you will have each other's undivided attention. IM, email, a social network like Facebook or any other modern technology is unacceptable and will cause undue duress.
Use integrity and be honest as to why you are leaving, but don't be cruel and recite everything this person ever did to get on your nerves. Listing the faults of your soon-to-be ex will only add insult to injury and more than likely lead to a shouting match.
Do not use phrases such as, "This is not a good time for me," "I just need a break," "It's not you – it's me." Words like these will create false hope for the other person who will then be kept in limbo waiting for your return. If you do not want to be friends with your former mate, then do not lead him or her to believe you will be. On the flip side, if you are the one wanting to remain friends, remember that your ex may not be able to return the sentiment and you need to respect this person's choice.
Now that you have made it clear that the relationship is over, take into consideration that while you have known you are leaving, this is fresh information to the guy or gal sitting opposite you. Your now former mate may be stunned and wondering if he or she heard you right. Give this person some time to digest the information and to ask questions within reason. Again, remember that you do not want this to turn into a shouting match.
Hopefully, if you remain gracious and sincere all will go as well as things can in this type of situation. Both parties will have some closure and maybe you both will find out some information about yourselves that will help you in your next relationship.
After some weeks have passed, your mind might drift to your ex because you're feeling lonely and bored, or worse, you have been drinking. You may then convince yourself that you should call. Stop! Count to one hundred, think about why you are really calling and remind yourself that the reasons or issues that caused you to leave still exist. Most of all, remember the heartache you caused by your earlier declaration. Unless you can say, "I was wrong … I want you back heart and soul," then you must leave that person alone to heal and move forward with his or her life.
Saying goodbye is never easy, but hopefully the above will prove to be helpful if you are ever faced with the task. Also, no matter who did the breaking up, you should give yourself time before jumping into another relationship. Hang out with friends, read some good books or get to that list of to-dos that you have been putting off. Being alone does not mean being lonely and a little time spent just on yourself will give you a clearer view of the new person you want to have in your sights.

soures; http://lovequt..com/2014/08/is-there-correct-way-to-break-up.html

doesn't seem right? A suspicion nags at the back
of your mind, but you keep denying it even
though your mate is suddenly leaving earlier than
usual, or keeps coming home late. It's easier to
be in denial than to admit that you might be a
victim of betrayal, but you will eventually have to
deal with the possibility.
Here are signs that your lover is cheating:
Your lover loses sexual interest in you.
He gets defensive when questioned about behavior
or activities.
Your partner seems guilt ridden – goes overboard
in being attentive to you.
He often refers to a certain someone as a "friend."
Your mate looks uncomfortable when the phone
rings.
He suddenly becomes cruel and says mean things
to you.
Your man makes odd calls late at night, mostly
after you go to bed.
He has strange numbers on his pager or cell
phone.
Your mate comes home way too late at night or
not at all.
He looks away and can't make eye contact when
confronted on the issue.
The relationship suddenly becomes too good to be
true (he takes you out more often, brings flowers,
etc.)
Your mate opens new email accounts that are off
limits to you.
It can be easier to run from a betrayal than to
deal with it. However, it is important to
understand and confront the issues if you want
the relationship to survive, and to preserve your
own personal well-being.
A mate may get caught up in the game of
cheating and the feeling of excitement that
accompanies it, but there might be a more
serious issue behind the infidelity. An unfaithful
partner doesn't necessarily go out and cheat on a
whim. Well … sometimes that's the case, but
many times the cause has more emotional roots.
So, what is this person seeking that is lacking
between you two? Asking this question is not the
same as excusing the betrayal or blaming the
victim. However, as Dr. Phil McGraw says, "there
are no victims, just volunteers." Before you play
the role of the innocent bystander, you need to
look deeper into what's really missing in the
relationship.
Now, if you are the perfect mate who has given
everything possible to the relationship, the factor
behind your mate's cheating could be the
"challenge."
The temptation to stray can be motivated by the
challenge to conquer a desired person. Soon the
challenge will be over, but the problems are just
beginning. If you have discovered that your man
is being untrue, you may have given him an
ultimatum. If he is like most unfaithful men, he
will probably stay with you (especially if you have
a long-term relationship), rather than go with the
other lover. Why? It's more comfortable to stay,
especially if there are children or financial
reasons.
However, if your mate feels trapped by these
responsibilities, you may get the feeling that he
will stray again. This will only make you feel
anxious and insecure. Don't avoid the issues;
seek professional help if necessary. It takes both
of you to work on the relationship – one person
can't do it alone. And if your mate doesn't stay
or if you choose to end your partnership, your
own emotional health depends on dealing with
the betrayal and its aftermath.
Perhaps you are on the other end of a cheating
relationship and suspect that your lover is
married or living with someone else. Confronting
denial and dealing with the dishonesty is
essential in this situation as well.
Here are signs that your lover is already in a
relationship:
You are only allowed to call at certain times of the
day.
You are only given a pager or cell phone number.
Your mate controls when you have contact with
each other.
Your mate has a "roommate" that you have never
been introduced to.
You are not allowed to go to your lover's place –
there is always an excuse like, "It's too messy."
Your mate seems to always call you from work.
If you find out that you are seeing someone who
is already in a committed relationship, consider
what you can realistically expect. A cheater
doesn't always say what he means, or mean what
he says. If your lover says, "I'm going to leave
my wife," chances are this person is lying. If your
lover accuses his mate of being mean and says
derogatory things about her, this is his way to
keep you on his hook – don't fall for the bait.
Don't let cheaters have their cake and eat it too.

source: http://lovequt..com/2014/08/how-to-spot-cheater.html?m=1