₦airaland Forum

othermen:
The sun-baked soil of Africa was a distant memory for the young girl, Bidemi, as she stepped off the bus and onto the unfamiliar pavement of her new home. Her father, Deolu, had worked tirelessly to bring their family to this new land, seeking a brighter future for his daughter. With a mix of excitement and trepidation, Bidemi clutched her father's hand as they made their way to their new apartment.

As they settled into their new life, Deola’s dedication to Bidemi’s education only grew stronger. He labored long hours to ensure she had the best possible chance at success, and his hard work paid off as he soon could afford to get Bidemi accepted into a local elementary school.

At first, Bidemi struggled to adjust to the unfamiliar customs and expectations of her new school. In Ibadan, children were taught to respect their elders with silence and obedience. But here, her classmates seemed to have an unspoken freedom to express themselves, even to the point of telling adults to "shut up." Bidemi watched in awe as her peers confidently asserted themselves, and she began to wonder why she couldn't do the same.

As the days turned into weeks, Bidemi’s newfound confidence grew. She started to speak up in class, sharing her thoughts and ideas with her teacher and classmates. But with this newfound freedom came a reckoning. One evening, as they sat down to dinner, Bidemi complained about the meal, saying she was tired of eggs and wanted chicken instead. Then, she was tired of yoghurt and wanted Sobo. Deolu, taken aback by her assertiveness, scolded her for her attitude. But Bidemi, fueled by her newfound sense of self, shot back, "Shut up, Daddy!"

The slap that followed sent shockwaves through their small apartment. Bidemi’s eyes welled up with tears as she retreated to her room, her heart heavy with regret. But the damage was done. The teacher noticed Bidemi’s unusual silence the next day and, after hearing the story, immediately contacted child services.

The days that followed were a blur for Ogbeni Deolu. He lost his joy, his mind and his ability to work as he struggled to come to terms with the consequences of his actions. The courts deemed him unfit to care for Bidemi, and she was taken into protective custody. Deolu’s world crumbled around him as he realized he might never be with his beloved daughter again.

Two long years passed, and Deolu’s once-strong spirit was broken. He perished, a shadow of the man he once was, his heart forever scarred by the loss of his daughter and the life they once shared.

In the two years that passed, the Child services contacted Deolu, informing him that Bidemi was doing well in her new foster home and that he could have supervised visits with her. Initially overjoyed, Deolu eagerly agreed, hoping to rebuild their relationship.

However, when Deolu was finally reunited with Bidemi, he was met with a stranger. The vibrant, curious girl he once knew was now a confident, self-assured young woman who seemed to have moved on from his love. Bidemi was polite but distant, and Deolu’s heart sank as he realized she had formed strong bonds with her new family.

As the visits continued, Deolu struggled to connect with the daughter he once knew so intimately. Bidemi’s new family had become her rock, and she seemed to prefer their company to his. The pain of this realization was almost too much for Deolu to bear.

Helping Abidemi recover, her new foster family
provided her with mental health support and she began therapy. Her therapist helped her uncover the deep-seated effects of the beatings she received as a child in Ibadan, and that it had profoundly impacted her mental health and might affect her own disposition and tolerance for abusive relationships.

As Bidemi worked through her trauma, she began to recognize the abusive patterns in her relationship with her father, Deolu. It was just the slap, but the more her foster family made her watch Nigerian movies on YouTube and saw the way parents corporally punished their children in Africa, the more she adopted the children’s pain and hated her father.

With the newfound understanding, Abidemi spoke out about the abusive relationship she had with her father, sharing her story with everyone around her. While this was a liberating experience for Bidemi, it further drove Deolu to madness. He never used a cane on Abidemi in Ibadan.

No one would have Deolu and so he descended further into a dark abyss of denial and anger. He gave a statement calling his Abidemi a liar. It seemed to him, that the dearth of his daughter’s love was not enough, now, Abidemi would also take the love he could gain from elsewhere, for standing with him seemed like standing against Abidemi. This was the source of the rejection of his community and why he sought to publicly rebuke her.

It was just a slap, but Abidemi spoke at length about the abusive relationship. It was an excuse for her inadequacies, and a source of livelihood for her and her foster family. As she spoke, Deolu’s reputation got further tarnished, and he was shunned and his descent into madness was sealed. It was his village people, he wrongly said.


As Bidemi shared her experience with the world, the foster family who had taken her in were the center of attention. They were hailed as heroes for providing a safe haven for Bidemi and for supporting her in speaking out against her father's abuse. They reaped rewards, received donations and funding for their "noble" work, and their nonprofit organization grew exponentially.

Bidemi’s mental health fraying under the pressure of constantly reliving her trauma, didn’t matter. the foster family's priorities was clear. They were more invested in keeping the spotlight on themselves and the cause than in ensuring Bidemi’s well-being.

Her mental health was an insignificant cost and they told her, the suffering she experienced was a necessary sacrifice for the greater good – to raise awareness and bring an end to abuse.

Bidemi condition worsened, and when the madness that took her father had consumed her too. She yearned for Deolu, her father, but no one heard her.

In the absence of no shoulder to lean on, Bidemi became reliant on substances to cope. It could dull her pain, ease her regret.

In the obituary, published after her suicide, the foster family made sure to mention she was a fighter who eventually succumbed to her father’s abuse.

Quest7777:
But in the other thread, you commented it would amount to politics of bitterness to sack Ndume...

rexbuton:
This is a meaningful thread to start the day with, though it would take more than four paragraphs to fix the decay in written English amongst Nigerians today.

I am even more concerned about the decline in individual intelligence amongst young people. Youth are afraid to examine evidence and analyse issues logically, instead, they outsource intelligence to ‘influencers’ , many of whom are school dropouts, jesters and people who cannot hold a conversation in real life.
I saw comments on Instablog 10 minutes after the news of Trump’s shooting was reported, and all the comments were “it’s a skit’’.
Until a few years ago, Nigerians were known to be the smartest people in the world, and that is why the smears of fraud, corruption, trafficking etc do not stick on us when we excel internationally. But if with the above, we now have a new generation of Nigerians with the collective intelligence of sea sponges, then we are in trouble.

No experience, no faith, no morals, no grammar, no brakes, no gear, no sense!



And In the latter times, some will refuse to endure sound doctrine.

Alexlalax1:
Like the poster above me rightly said, 2morrow they'll be looking for 22 to 26yrs. with 5yrs working experience. No be to early or late go school, work dey after school? Na Dem give people mouth to dey talk say school na scam. Make the society habitable for all, they say no. Person wey im house catch fire dey pursue rat. CLOWNS!!!

saintbillion:
Who hike am?

Natbrowny:
Should have been straight 5 years. Rule and getat

6 years is trash

mightyhaze:
This una sarcasm get as e take be o

Watianoengineer:
Nigerians will wake up like Kenyans one day.

Thundafireseun:
Get Rich or die trying

Nigerians are still the smartest people on earth

Before you come for me nah AKON talk am ooo

Chiefpriestt:
There's something fundamentally wrong with the black Africans. After 24 years in power you still want to contest again ? Damn!

brain54:

brain54:
Okay...

Thank you for the information sir.

Much appreciated!

hafeeanubasy:
Yorubas Traditional attires are gorgeous!

Lots of steeze!


Chai!

Jestin:
Nothing is different between APC and PDP

lexy2014:
what is the benefit of that "3-in-1 form of identitification"?

lexy2014:
this was the same grammar they spoke about BVN and NIN. up till now, terrorism, banditry, kidnapping, armed robbery, corruption and faud go on unabated