trakos:

I will advise you to make your own decision ASAP as a man but make sure u make the choice you will be able to live with for the rest of your life.

iice:

In the long haul, you'll hurt her more. Better do it now.

Thanks,i really want to act fast and that's why i put this to my fellow nairalanders

MsDarkSkin:

i stopped reading after that line. 
and skipped to the end! some men sef

anyway you need to just 'keep it real'. Tell her how you feel bro.
If your heart is not with her then there is no need to force the issue.
But you have to touch base with her and find out what happened. let
her know what is in your heart and make a decision thereafter.

Thanx for your advice, what i meant by that line is that she never denied me of sex after the incidence, not that we sex all the time,afterall we are always together, i dont care if hse's a virgin or not,that fact that she did it when in a relationship with me is the problem.

There is this gurl 'm dating and we've been together for almost 20months now. few weeks into the relationship,i started asking her for sex but she wouldnt give me because she was a virgin. while i was away in school, i discovered she was disvirgined by a particular up and coming celeb and she could not deny it.she begged for forgiveness and the mistake i made was forgiven her.she started giving it to me anytime i feel like digging the hole, though 'm not always around.after d incidence,she has shown great commitment and faithfulness even up till this moment but 'm finding it difficult to trust her.she's so popular with me that everybody(friends and family) likes her so much.she's a beautiful girl and though many guys come around,she has her way of turning them down.I am in my mid-20s,have a very good job (which is why my people are happy to know someone with me) but she's just a teenager in her 2nd year in the university.I love her but the fact that she slept with someone else while in a relationship with me is what i cannot forget.It bothers me a lot because we still had issue wif her relationship with other guys(but those were not confirmed).Now,i really want to leave her but i dont know how to go about it.The fact that she's popular with me will bring questions and 'm not prepared to let anyone know d reason 'm taking d decision.I know she really loves me now but i have the feeling she willn ot enjoy me because what she did is hard to forget.I dont want to keep wasting my time on her and she's beginning to sense the changes in my attitude towards her recently.It's really hurting her and she's even thinking 'm into another relationship already but she cant confront me.She even calls my mum,sister and brother on phone cos she has their contacts.I dont trust this girl again,have tried hard to build the trust but to no avail and i cant marry someone out of pity that i dont want to hurt her.PLS,WHAT DO I DO?

now that u need a husband,u come back to your senses i guess,

Pweety4me:

We are not your family or friends?. . .so i don't know what your goin on about 'those who care' nobody gives a damn!

'no offeinsee'

but we ain't enemies either.contrary to wht u said,some do care,maybe u should read some sensible replies up there, no prob sha,we're cool, i understand u

mutter:

please do not take this out on the girl, she is a victim and not an offender.
You have a chance to bring life and hope into her life and make her have faith in life again.
Life has been hard on her.
What she went through is nothing for you to hold against her.
I see a girl hurt and in need of care and love.
She is a good girl because these experiences have been tormenting her.
Give her a chance because she may have so many other qualities that make her a real woman.
She will always appreciate and love you for it.
There are so many young girls out there that are good at heart but life has dealt them this blow of putting them on the hard recieving end.
You can change a life.
Get her medical attention and then give her love and protection that she has lacked.

thanx, u've really made some points

tkovie2002:

thats too long for a single text message, Please can u tell us the brand and model of fone she uses?? Coz am not sure any fone can type that much, lol (4,408 characters) rotflmao, thats as long as a company profile, well over a page on Microsoft word, buh still "I may be wrong", and please PROVE ME!!!

u re very correct, i joined some of those texts together,they were up to 12, i guess she wrote all b4 sending them one after d other

Pweety4me:

I no fi read, . .but all i know is that u shouldn't be telling people's stories.

d topic is not for u,whether it's story or nt, it's something that's heavy in my heart and that's why 'm throwing it out to those that cares.so,save your breath,

mutter:

okay!
You need to go test yourself and the girl and we can take it from there.
Do not cry, it is the plight of most girls. This one was being honest and she needs your help-
Have it in your heart to accomodate her. she was only an abused child

thanx,actually that's what i told her we would do when i come back, though,when i noticed skin rashes on me in November ,i went for a test in our hospital but the result was negative.Doc told me my body reacted to something(allergy) contrary to my fear of being infected, but we've had sex after that period,before she now told me this,

                  HER TEXT CONTINUES>>>

I dont even know how to tell my parent!wuld b glad f u culd jst help m out n showin dis 2ma parent!D day u said u v a skinrash on u.i was so scard n if u noticed,i became moody.later u told m u wnt 4a tst dat doc said u r ok.i was smeow happi thinkin i was ok too but later read a book that says d signs on me is of sme1 avn std!uhn dis s painful 2m if i v 2lyk go 4a tst&d rsult shows.(my name) u r ok i knw dat!by God's grac.notin wil affect u!me i v acceptd ma fate!mayb its ma dstiny who knws or mayb w r nt ment 4each oder!uhn anywai God knws d bst!nverdles i stil luv u.( rol f tears n m)ehm "Drama" was d 1 dat made me!it wud v been u bt i nver knw i was a virgin.i alowd him al because i tot i gt no lyf & there's nofin special in me again!i knw u r nt 4m anymore!bt jst try  2help m out cos dere s n 1 i culd tel dis.Rit nw i kno ow u wil feel.maybe u shuldnt v fell n luv wit dis gurl!(my name) it's nver my fault jst dnt knoh ow 'm jst cumn acros all these!pl$ Don't let mine disturb u 4rm readn 4ur exma$!i wish u success.*
REMEMBER, D guy dat styd wit us nver slept wit m e only did some stuffs on me.Drama was d1 who finaly made m inwic i was fild wit blood, END OF HER TEXT
 after all these texts,i almost cried

It's like ve known her so much that i know when something is bothering her mind, that night,i knew she was finding it difficult to tell me something, i pressurised her and gave her d option of sending it as text if it's hard for her to say, then ,she agreed, and these are her text;l
           " Hav nver told any1 abt di$ not evn ma be$tfwnd!I tink d rit tym ha$ cum 4m 2open ma mindup to u!evn if it mit cos m losn u, only dat i cant aford 2loose u!'m so much sowie causn alot 2ur life. infat riskn ur life wit m by avn sex wit m.Nver wnt u 2av sex wit m cos i knw smetin mit ave happened 2ma lyf.In which i lv u&i do kno u lv m aswel.so,i dnt wnt anytin 2apn 2u.i trid cnvicn u anytime u wnt 2v sex wit m 2use cd!bt smetim$ evrytin dsnt goes on d way i wnt it!Nver gone 4 a test b4 bt  i do c sme signs on me"
   "I do think smetim$ dat 'm i rily wat i tink i'm.bt al d same d ans 4rm me is No!cos v nver gne 4d test!I do read sme book abot it anytim i cme acros it!if i ve cme acro$ dis books den!i wuldnt v evn tot f doin smetin lyk dis:wen i wa$ very yung lyk age 7 ,i tink ma mum do tk us 4holidäys @ma grandma plac.al i culd rem den was lyk sme1 slept wit m, den w were livn @agege.durn dat period dere was 1uncle lyk dat e do come 2our plac.e s jst lyk a family fwnd 2us!by den i shuld b 8.He trid developn smetino on me, lyk usin his hand n ma V. &sukn ma breast bt nver slept wit m!i trid teln ma parents bt i wasc scard of wat dey mit d 4m!i trid kepin it 2maself which mkes eim continue doin dat 2m.i tink i stp d act by d age f 13!durin dat period w'v pakd dwn 2 Sango!dere was 1 hous opsit.us ful f kids n wic i do go dere 2play oftn.durn dat tym, dere was 1 gurl lyk dat jst lyk a sis.she has a junior bro.i was 10 then, i was told by d elder sis 2dat 1 f his bro.lyk me,i datd him&an idea was brought  by s sis.dat we must sleep wit each other, which we did bt not rily obviu$.Durin dis period wn i gt 2 jsc al ma tat was dat 'm nt a virgin sinc.sme1 as already slept wit me wen i was 7 because i culdnt rem if blood cam out or nt!so i pland 2liv a wayward lyf sinc i tink ma lyf s useles already!durn d perid i was in js3 goin 2ss1 den ma mum acept 1 f her fwnd child 2liv wit us!i tink i was 2yrs older dan eim!in ma mind den i was nt apy because i knw smetin mit apen inwic i dnt wnt anytin 2apen because i do tink dat do i rily luk attractive n wic anyguy dat 'm clos wit wuld lyk 2v sex wit m!D boy startd livn wit us. hnestly i trid 2avoid him bt dere comes a tym dat he like sleeping n ma room!1night, i dnt kno wen he startd sukn ma thing.i was shocked when i woke up cos i nver xpet such.i rushed Dwn 2d toilet clean up ma self&later cme bk 2ma room&dragd him out f ma room!i trid ma posibl bst 4dat boy 2b snt pakn bt didnt kno wat 2say 2convic ma parnts!later sha d boy stol ma mums money&was snt pakn!i trid livn ma normal lyf bt anytim i rem.ma past i feel lyk dieing r smetim$ i feel lyk doin sme bad tin$ 2ma self.den i later notic sme sign n me!bt i nver tke it s serious dat was wen i was in ss1!i read sme books bt nver kar$ tot mine wa$ jst a minor case!my x nver slept wit m b4 cos i nver v d emotion f sex n m again.he trid 2 bt i alwais insist n ma No!(my name)  lvs me&i dnt wnt him 2slip wit m al because i knw smetin s wrng wit ma body!he gt 2c smetin n ma p.part bt dat do cme durin ma period nt evrytym, dat was wat i told u.u noticed sme rashes n ma bdy in wic i dnt kno d cause 4a lng perid f tym nt until i read a book ofrecnt!v alwais been waitn 4who 2tel al dis&here u r v told u

LET ME TELL U THIS B4 D MAIN TOPIC
This is d gurl i started dating barely a year ago now but just last week she opened up to me.she's shown me love since we started even though she's always been under pressure from guys due to her look.due to the fact that 'm in school,we dont see everyday but for the first 6months of our relationship,she denied me of sex,only romance.i wonder y, cos each time 'm in d mood she would tell me NO.i was in school sometimes in August 2010 when i received her text "just today", i later asked her what she meant by that but she said nothing,that she just felt like sending text to me.few days later,while talking on phone,i devised a means of asking her,she couldnt lie to me, she confessed,she was disvirgined that very day by one guy called DRAMA(think some of u will know him,i learnt that's what he does to young girls in lagos), she begged me that she was forced by him, i hanged up and refused to pick her calls for days, she called my friends but couldnt explain what she did to them, after what seemed like eternal apology,i gave her second chance, since then,she never denied me of sex once,only that each time we want to do it,she always tell me she doesnt like sex if not that she must just give it to me, But just last week,she told me the reason why she denied me in our first 6month, check the next post