₦airaland Forum

Lysaa and Leilah,

Haba! Una wan yab man be4?

Take it or leave it. Look be4 u leap.

Pretence boku! both man and woman alike.

I have been trained since my childhood, that no work no food. I most times partake in the kitchen runs.

So, dont let anyone deceive you O!

A word is enough,

Real men, if you are responsible for the cries must as a matter of fact apologies.

It does not matter whether it is crocodile or not. I have done that a number of times and it is part of the tonic needed if your marriage or relationship will work.

apologies if you know that you are responsible.

Fellow Nauralander.

There a million reasons why Marriages dont work. But, look at these. It may be of help.


When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her
hand and said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate
quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.

Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let
her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic
calmly.

She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me
softly, why? I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man!
That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Dew. I didn't love her anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which
stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my
company.

She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who
had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger.
I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Dew so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing
something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Dew.

When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just
did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't
want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce.
She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked
me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day.

She requested that everyday for the month's duration I carry her
out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Dew about my wife's divorce conditions. She laughed
loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce
intention was explicitly expressed.
So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don't
tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset.
I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned
on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her.
For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of
intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me.

On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of
intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Dew about this. It became
easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday
workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a
few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.

Suddenly it hit me, she had buried so much pain and bitterness
in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry
mum out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I
held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to
school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life
lacked intimacy.

I drove to office, jumped out of the car swiftly without
locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind, I walked upstairs. Dew opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I do not want the divorce anymore.

She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do
you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Dew, I said, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other any more. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart.

Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then
slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.

At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers
for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.
That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed – dead.



The small details of your lives are what really matter in a
relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the
bank, blah, blah, blah. These create an environment conducive for
happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be
your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that
build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!

Wishing you all the best!!!

Dayo,

Haba, ma je ki a maa soro jinna.

Come down to 7000. Pleeeeeeeeease!

You can also mail me on jydewalker@yahoo.com

Dayo.

How much did you want to sell it?

Let me have yr number.

Mine is 01 763 2113

How long have you been using it?

Fellow Nairalanders.

The Idols East Africa is so boring to me.

Can any of you out there, who knows when the West Africa Idols will start. Pleeeeease!

As at now, the Corrupt Judges of Osun state Election Petition tribunal are delivering their fake judgement.

Check these out as you are planning your wedding. It will helpm you!

http://www.nigeriavillagesquare.com/articles/guest-articles/why-marriages-don-t-work-the-change-f.html

It is the Truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

Thanks for asking for ideas and sugestion from fellow nairalanders.

It is only those who have passed thru the road, b4 that could tell how the road looks like. dont mind those SSB that were saying rubbish.


Sugestion from dolly, is the most accurate in these regard.

I got married in 2004 and 4 of my friends that got married after me actually use my list and summary note.

take a notebook, carryable, and a pen and jot down efrything that comes to yr mind

Take each page for each item, yr bridesmaid, her dress, the total cost. Yr bridal train, each of them in each page. the cost and whatever each of them has paid to you, whether in part or in whole.

Aso ebi page etc.

You dont need a wedding planner. As nobody goes to school to learn how to plan a wedding. It's inborn, you have it. Dont deny yrsef what you already have. You can do it too.

Pls invite us when the bell finally clocks!

I wish you a successful wedding

Nerone.

whether Yoruba or not, go there and grab yr own

Women and Men listen meeeem!!!

I am yet to see Seun responding to these O! Abi , o boy you no gree?

I am yet to see Seun responding to these O! Abi , o boy you no gree?

As for the Ettehgate, look more deeply, you will see that Dabiri and her camp have a hand in this problem. What we see is a re-play of the Anambra saga that involved Ngige and those who put him into power in order to furnish their self interests. The real issue is that the 648 million Naira was not shared amongst these "power brokers", hence, they are screaming blue murder where there is really no case.

I strongly believe it was a set up. Why! All these while there had been there ''people'' at the helm of affairs, there has not been these figures for renovation and they have been renovating, but now, that she is there and they seems not getting their ''kickback'' they are crying blue murder.

Only God will save Naija from these claws.

This BBA thing is a personal thing. I watched it efryday and what I could deduce from it is that it is a game and you play it the best way you know. Afterall, Ofunne mama has not been naked be4 and I believe she wl be among the last 2. It further shows the deepen poverty and the crazy level of civilization and quest for money amongst us. Some of us at home can do worse, the difference is that these ones are in the open. we do worse in the hidden.

God help you all!

I HAVE READ AND UNDERSTOOD ALL OF UNA! tO THE REAL BABE. ITS AA GOOD THING YOU ASKED 4 HELP. PLEASE BE GUIDED AND 4 THE REST WHO PASSED THRU THESE SAME EXPERIENCE THAT IT IS UNGODLY AND IMMORAL. BUT I TELL YOU, YOU HAVE DONE WHAT IS RIGHT BY NOT TELLING HIM YET. PLS DONT! GOD WILL SURELY GIVE YOU YR OWN HUSBAND.

BEST OF LUCK