₦airaland Forum

there's this new Pastor that went out to visit his parishioners and on getting to the last house and after knocking for a long time, wrote the verse Revelations 3:20''behold i stand at the door and knock if any one hears my voice and open the door, i will come in chop the person an , " on the back of his card and left
On the following sunday, a card was found in the ushery basket addressed to the pastor bearing the verse Gen 3:10"he replied,i heard you,so i hid.i was afried because i was naked"

nna na waaaaaaaaaaaaaa o.

I reside in portharcourt and Ikwere people are known to be land fricks.can u imagine people that dont travel to any other place that doesnt ve land attached to the name except for places like england.scotland,finland.because they believe there will be much land there.i wont be surprised if im told that most of the people registered with nairaland re ikwere's,because there's is a land attached to it's name. I never believed what i was told until i met a young cute guy that was suppose to be my husby u know.after i accepted his propo we concluded on him coming to see my pastor.
friends hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm! infact i dont know if this guy loves me or is it because i told him that my great grand father has an agric plantation.DO U KNOW WHAT? immediately this guy saw our church altar he shouted hey ''ala nda'' meaning my fathers land.''baby girl why re u people wasting this land that can contain 2 bed room flat and a self contain. pastor infact one of my reason of coming to see you is to see if u can sell this plot of land to me ''. abeg make una help me tell am say i no dey marry am again o1

actually, the boss was kidding.its just that the worker dont know his right. tooooooo bad

After 2 years of selfless service, a man realized that he had not been promoted, no transfer, no salary increase, no commendation and that the company is not doing any thing about it.

So he decided to walk up to his manager one morning and after exchanging greetings, he told his manager his observation. The boss looked at him, laughed and asked him to sit down saying; "My friend, you have not worked here for even one day".

The man was surprised to hear this, but the manager went on to explain.

Manager:- How many days are there in a year?

Man:- 365 days and some times 366


Manager:- how many hours make up a day?

Man:- 24 hours


Manager:- How long do you work in a day?

Man:- 8am to 4pm. i.e. 8 hours a day.


Manager:- So, what fraction of the day do you work in hours?

Man:- He did some arithmetic and said 8/24 hours ie. 1/3 (one third)



Manager:- That is nice of you! What is one-third of 366 days?

Man:- 122 (1/3x366 = 122 in days)



Manager:- Do you come to work on weekends?

Man:- No sir



Manager:- How many days are there in a year that are weekends?

Man:- 52 Saturdays and 52 Sundays equals to 104 days



Manager:- Thanks for that. If you remove 104 days from 122 days, how
many days do you now have?

Man:- 18 days.




Manager:- OK ! I do give you 2 weeks leave every year. Now remove that
14 days from the 18 days left. How many days do you have
remaining?

Man:- 4 days




Manager:- Do you work on New Year day?

Man:- No sir!



Manager:- Do you come to work on Worker's day?

Man:- No sir!



Manager:- So how many days are left?

Man:- 2 days sir!



Manager:- Do you come to work on the (National holiday)?

Man:- No sir!



Manager:- So how many days are left?

Man:- 1 day sir!



Manager:- Do you work on Religious festivities day?

Man:- No sir!



Manager:- So how many days are left?

Man:- None sir!



Manager:- So, what are you claiming?

Man:- I understood Sir ! thank you Sir for all the money you have been
giving me, I am sorry for trying to steal from the Company !!!!!!

hello Friends,
Just be urself.

A middle aged fat woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital.

While on the operating table she had a near death experience. Seeing God she asked, "is my time up?"God said, "No you have another 43 years, 2 months and 8 days to live."

Upon hearing this, the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have liposuction and a tummy tuck. She even had someone change her hair color. Since she had so much more time to live, she figured she might as well make the most of it.she was now looking slimmer and younger like an under sixteen. She was released from the hospital. While crossing the street on her way home, she was killed by a car.

Arriving in front of God, she demanded,"I thought you said I had another 43 years? Why didn't you pull me from out of the path of the car?" ha ha ha
God Replied,"I didn't recognize you." so dear friends,be natural and always thankful to God for the way He has made you.

ha ha ha!wonders shall never end. check dis out

Three men were discussing at a bar about coincidences. The first man said, " my wife was reading a "tale of two cities" and she gave birth to twins" "That s funny", the second man remarked, "my wife was reading 'the three musketeers' and she gave birth to triplets" The third man shouted, "Good God, I have to rush home!" When asked what the problem was, he exclaimed, " When I left the house, my wife was reading Ali baba and the forty Thieves"!!!