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Okay

Herbiedeen:
Just exactly what i'm going through right now...reason why i won't blame him...but then i think the major reason why he ended up in that web is his low self-esteem...now don't ask me how

shout out to the beta males out there

Thanks for the addition/comment. Yeah, he also had low self esteem.

enirock:
For me the character above was/is not stupid rather it's his path to growth. Many of us knew things because we were taught and many of us learnt through experience. No one way is better that the other. Just that in one you do not get to feel the pain of feeling left out or seeing your efforts unreciprocated. Just like the character above, for those who are introverts, unreciprocated feelings hurts and scars them and when/if they feel the other person will either give green light, they will persist in their efforts to be good but most times, they end up being strung along. Thanks Kay.

Great explanation.

enirock:
Maybe being a beta man is the name for it but I have found this trait (the need for acceptance and seeking validation) in mostly recluse and to an extent introverts ( I am saying this as I have lived with it at a point). This your story is highly relatable because He has a believe that being good will attract goodness (while not totally false, it doesn't always happen like that). Thanks Kay for this piece. It brought many memories and compliments of the season to you and yours.

Thanks for this. As I started this story, I had the sole aim to write something I know some people will really relate to, and not just normal fiction/fantasy. At a certain point, I didn't want to put out the story, but someone in my real life read the rough draft, related to the story and urged me to continue and put it out.

From some comments above, they feel the character is stupid, but I know there are a lot of real life people that have been through similar circumstances and can fully relate with the main character.

Once again, thanks for your comment. I really appreciate it.

Compliments of the season to you too.

AryEmber:
What this story is telling me is that beta men are stupid. Imagine, Olorun maje!

Everything in life is not in black and white...Apart from being a beta man, this particular guy has issues with relating with people generally.

Like the quote below, there are many parts of the story (especially in the beginning) where the main character let it be known he has his own issues with interpersonal relationships.

"I was never good with one on one interaction with people, in fact, I dreaded it." (Third paragraph, chapter one).

That you find the guy stupid doesn't mean all beta guys are stupid...the story doesn't suggest all beta guys are stupid.

What's up guys... I have a short story I am currently working on. I don't know when I will be done, but know that when I'm ready to post, I will post it all in 2-3 days. It will have very very short chapters.

You can read this my story below (if you haven't already done so) to get an idea of the structure in which my upcoming story would be in.

https://www.nairaland.com/4044960/underlying-love-romance-novelette-kayode

Dybala11:
Thanks Kayo80 for another wonderful piece you just concluded, looking forward to more of your masterpiece.

Thanks.

PraisesPblaze:
Cheers to all beta men out there... When the right one finally comes it will blossom extensively. Especially when u stop making excuses..

Thanks Kayo80
More Grease

Cheers.

[quote author=Rahman10 post=108390792]Great work OP. Thank you very much.
I completely relate but can't understand why he didn't stop hanging out with them much earlier. Like he enjoyed the pain from seeing them together.[/quote]

Well, I guess people do stupid things and don't think logically when they are in love or lust. Plus, you have to remember Jack was his childhood friend... Even though he didn't like seeing Jack with Joy, they have shared history, and he didn't just want to back out of the picture that quickly. But he eventually had to do so anyway.

Jaylynn:
What an ending, Mr Kayo. Looking forward to reading more.

Thanks.

Chapter 14: The End and the New Beginning

The days that followed my last hangout with Joy and Jack had me indoors, reflecting on my life. I wondered why I was the way I was. I didn’t want to admit I was a beta man, but I really was. And contrary to what a lot of people say, there is really nothing wrong with beta male. We all can’t be alpha males. I also consoled myself with the fact that some of the richest men in the world like Mark Zuckerberg, and Bill Gates were beta men.

I started reading articles by a guy named Ubanja, on Nairaland.com. He broke down man and woman’s relationship; how women gravity towards and are more attracted to alpha men. The confidence of alpha male is what draws the men to the woman; even if the men were assholes, and the beta men were good men, the women would still go for the asshole alpha males. It’s just nature, and there was nothing anyone could do about it. I just happened to be a beta male. But I was much more than that. At least, some of the richest men in the world are beta males…Zuckerberg and Gates are Beta males, and even though they weren’t and aren’t good with females, they have been able to have huge impacts in the world that a hundred alpha males aren’t able to even fathom. This gave me hope, and I started to focus more on my strengths; things I could do that very few people could. I started to focus more on ways I could leave my footprints on the sands of time.

When I got lonely, Barbra was always happy to see me. I became friends with her current guy, and he had no issues with me coming around quite often. In fact, when I stayed away for long times, he would ask her why I wasn’t coming over as often. I was a fan of ancient Greek mythology, and so was he, so he always had something to talk about.

Even though I had Barbra as a friend, I still felt a longing in my heart to have a woman in my life. Even though I had made up my mind to focus more on my strengths and not on how I would woe a lady, I still wished I could have the prowess of an alpha male. Even though I had strongly overcome my urge to always call Joy, I still thought of her once in a while. But one thing was for sure, I was a lot better than I had ever been. I was a work in progress, and I liked the new me; the less needy me.

I found out Jack had come to town a few times to see Joy, without my knowledge. I guessed he felt it didn’t make sense bringing me along anytime he was in town, when he probably just wanted to see Joy now. I let both of them be, and saw Barbra more often.

Even with my visits to Barbra’s house, I knew at the back of my mind that I would soon run back into my shell. I was a loner that was bad with romantic relationships, and I was slowly building my walls up again. And unless a girl came into my life, and broke down those walls, I was going to remain a loner. I was a beta male, and I wasn’t ashamed of who I was.

The End

Chapter 13: The Last Hangout

Barbra and I saw more often after the first meeting, and we went back to being really close like we used to be. I had a feeling she still had feelings for me, but I was happy she at least had a lover currently. I even met the guy a couple of times, and he had no issues with me being around his girl a lot.

One day, I was planning on going to Barbra’s house when Jack called and let me know he was around. He said he already spoke with Joy, and would like the three of us meet at our regular spot. When I got off the phone, I started thinking if I wanted to even go at all. I just didn’t feel like being the assistant boyfriend any longer. I reluctantly dressed up, and left the house. I needed to make one stop at a bookshop before heading over the bar.

I was still in the bookshop when Joy called and let me know she was leaving her hostel as she got a free ride out of campus, and wanted to know if I could come over to the meeting spot early. Apparently, Jack had come into town for a wedding, and was running late. She didn’t want to be at the lounge alone. I agreed to meet her at the bar in thirty minutes, and I ended the call.

When I got to the spot later on, she was already there, with her head buried in her phone. As I approached her unnoticed, my mind wondered off. Why couldn’t everything go in my way; why can’t she like me and just me? I thought to myself. She had on a green Ankara top and skirt; the blouse was like a camisole. She looked up when I was a few feet from her with a smile. The smile turned to a squint as I took a sit opposite her. “You look different… You look…You look really handsome.” She said and made me smile.
“Stop lying to me.”
“I’m serious.” She said and put her phone in her bag as she looked at me. “What’s your secret?”
I looked into space for a while, wondering, this girl can think I am handsome, but still isn’t attracted to me. She tapped my hand, and derailed my train of thought. “Well… I just started taking a food supplement three weeks ago.”
“Hmm… That’s interesting.”
“Wellman.”
“What?”
“I mean, the name of the food supplement is Wellman?”
“Oh!”
“Yeah, that’s the only thing I am doing differently, so I guess that’s what’s making me look…” I was saying and stopped to look at her.
She smiled before saying, “You really do look handsome.”
I just looked at her and shook my head.
“What?”
“Nothing.”
“Good afternoon.” A young service girl said, disrupting our ongoing conversation. Joy asked for a Malt drink, and I ordered a bottle of Legend. The walked away, and it got quiet between us. We both started going through our phones. As I navigated through Facebook while a friend was sitting right there in front of me, it made me think of how things were back in the 80s, before there were mobile phones and social media. If you were out on a date, you had to actually talk; there were rarely any distractions. I wished I could go back in time and experience that.

It became windy all of a sudden and the rustling sound of three branches made me feel like I was in a movie; a little whirlwind of dust and pieces of paper formed a few feet from us, but quickly disappeared. It forced us to look up at the sky. I guessed it was nature’s way of forcing us to focus on the present, and not on our phones. It wasn’t very cloudy, and just as the wind came, it disappeared, and everything went back to normal. The service girl appeared just then, and placed our drinks in front of us and asked if we would need anything else. I asked her to come back in about thirty minutes as we were expecting a friend. Joy asked if we could switch places. She said she didn’t like getting distracted looking up at the car park every time a car drove in.

After a few gulps from my cup of beer, I loosened up and started talking; telling her old stories that she had probably heard before, but with different twists. She laughed anyway. Just as I was having real fun, and had forgotten I was more like a chaperone, Jack appeared. I gave a head nod, and Joy turned around to follow my gaze. “Hi.” She said to him and turned back around. The smile on her face when she turned back around to face me told many stories; stories that broke my heart. And then he came up behind her and tapped her shoulder, she turned her head around to look up at him; he leaned in to kiss her. The kiss was so intimate; it dug a hole in my heart. I knew they were doing this, but I really wished I didn’t have to see it. It almost felt like he wanted to assert his dominance.

I called the service girl over, and Jack ordered the same thing I was having, while Joy and I made our second orders.

We had been sipping our drinks over light talks for just a few minutes after Jack arrived when Joy complained of being cold. Jack suggested he’d get her one of his jacket from his hotel room, and she volunteered to follow him. They excused themselves, and walked off. The hotel was a three minute walk away, so I expected them back in at least 15 minutes, but I was wrong. 15 minutes turned to 30 minutes, and then 45 minutes. My imagination was running wild, and at a point, I felt like a fool. I was wondering what I was still doing there.

When they arrived back about an hour later, they apologized for staying too long, and I shrugged it off, not wanting them to notice how pissed I was. Joy was in Jack’s black varsity jacket; I had seen Jack in that same Jacket so many times, and I felt crushed seeing her in it. The rest of the night went as usual, me telling stories, entertaining Joy and Jack, while they once in a while chipped in something. I talked a lot more this night, because I was trying not to think of what was on my mind. Then it got a little worse; Jack put Joy’s leg on his lap, and started stroking it. He gently caressed her soft skin as he spoke, like nothing was happening. Sometimes, he would go right up to her laps, while still talking. I wondered if he really was doing this to torture me, because I know I did tell him all the time about Joy and how much I liked her all these years.

When it was time to leave, I went to the front seat of the car, and as Joy walked over, I thought she hadn’t see me, and was coming to assume her new throne, but she did see me. Actually, she was coming to tell me bye. She embraced me and told me she would be walking back to the hotel while Jack would go and drop me off. I was hurt by many things that happened that night, but I must say, this was the worst. The thought of her going to wait for him in his hotel room crumbled my heart.

I was silent on the drive to my house, and if Jack had a discerning spirit, he would know I was not happy. In hindsight, I feel he knew exactly what he was doing all along. Sort of like the art of war, I was his enemy in the chase for Joy, and he had to crush my heart completely.

I gave him a handshake before dropping from his car when he got to my gate, and as I walked into my compound, I felt like my soul had been sucked out of my body. I walked like a zombie till I got inside my house. I undressed slowly when I got to my room, and when I was down to my boxer shorts, I did a free fall on my bed. I didn’t feel like taking a bath. As a matter of fact, I didn’t feel like doing anything. The feeling of worthlessness had taken over me, and I just wanted to sleep and wake up like the last three weeks was a nightmare.

As I lay in bed, my mind wouldn’t stop thinking of what was going on in that hotel room. And then the words, ‘I’m not attracted to you physically or sexually,’ kept repeating over and over in my head. I didn’t know when tears started rolling down my eyes.

..

Chapter 12: An Evening with Barbra

Barbra was a mathematician that used her apartment for after school lessons. She taught only one subject; mathematics. She didn’t have many students, but she prized high, and had constant customers. She got her clients majorly through word of mouth, and everyone knew once they enrolled at her center, their children were bound to pass mathematics both in the SSCE, and JAMB exams. She had a 99.9% success rate with students. It was unheard of, especially for a female. The only reason her tutorial center wasn’t crowded was because of her high fee. She said she loved it that way as it allowed her concentrate on the students.

We met at her bus stop and walked over to her apartment. Even though we hadn’t seen in about two years, we picked up right away, like we had seen just yesterday. Barbra was special to me, because, even though I was a recluse, and she was an extrovert, we fit perfectly. I was a good listener for her stories, and when it was time for me to talk she gave me a good listening ear. She would call me out on my bullshit, but never judged me. Even though we had never dated, there was a time I was seeing her three times a week. Things got sour with us when she told me she had fallen in love with me, and I just wasn’t ready to date at the time, so she cut me off, completely. I still wasn’t ready to date, but I felt she would have gotten over me by now.

Barbra had a natural low cut hairstyle; curly at the top like Chidinma the singer. She was cute like Chidinma too. She was about 5 foot 6, with an inverted triangle body shape. Barbra was a tomboyish, but also sexy at the same time. That was what I always liked about her. I guess the tomboy part of her was what made me not consider dating her, because I saw her as one of my buddies.

At least about a dozen different teenagers greeted her before we got to her house; I guessed they were kids she had thought over the years. They all had a smile on their faces, and you could tell they were appreciative of what she did in their lives.

When we walked through the gates of the building she lived in my attention was caught by the running water from the tap to our right. She cursed under her breath, and said something about people forgetting to turn the tap off when the tank was empty. She walked over to turn it off, and walked back over to lead me on. The spiral stairs to her upstairs apartment reminded me of times as a kid when I used to be scared of taken those types of stairs.

We took the right turn at the top of the spiral stairs to the entrance of her apartment. It was a kitchen entrance; everything was arranged neatly, and it smelt of noodles spice. I guessed she had just cooked and ate a fast meal before I came.

From the kitchen, we walked into her large living room that she had converted to a class. To my left was a long black leather couch, and to the right were sets of small wooden benches and chairs; four rows in total. In front of them was a white board she taught the students from. There was another entrance to the right that she told me her students came in through.

She asked me to take a seat on the couch as she opened the windows; there was dust particles in the air, and I presumed she had just swept the place just before coming to meet me at the bus stop. “I’ll be right back.” She said and disappeared down the corridor that led to her room.
She re-emerged a few minutes later, in a more casual wear; a white tank top and a grey basketball shots. She lay on the couch and put her head on my lap. It felt like we had just seen yesterday, because this was how it used to be with us back in the day before we broke things off. She was an open book, and hadn’t changed much. She started off talking about the current guy in her life. He had been coming over for a crash course in Math as he had a test the following week. He was a grown man in his mid-40s. On the last night, a Friday night, she had taught him late into the night, and they started talking casually when the lecture ended. One thing lead to another, they found themselves kissing, and making out on the very couch I was sitting on. That was how the new thing she had with the man started. She told me it was a mistake, but she said she was really lonely at the time, and let it continue. But after a couple of weeks, the guy didn’t define the relationship and he was coming over too often. Now, she was looking for a way to get read of. I just smiled and said nothing.
“What? Don’t judge me.” She said and looked up at me from where she lay on the couch.
“Judge you? I would never do that.” I said with a smile. “I just find the story quite romantic.”
She rolled her eyes at me before saying, “Yeah, right.”
I laughed a little before saying, “Do you like him?”
“Well, he is not really my dream guy, but if he wanted something serious, I would date him.”
“Okay?”
“It’s clear he is just using me to satisfy his sexual needs.” She said and got up before adding, “For all I know, he might have a wife somewhere.”
“Hmm…”
“You’d drink Vodka?””
“Yeah.”
“I trust you.” She said with a smile before disappearing into her kitchen. I heard the fridge door open; it sounded like it was a struggle to get it open, like the power supply was really steady lately, and the insides were frozen. The sound of bottles clicking together let me know she had more than one bottle in the fridge. One of the reasons I liked her back then was the fact she was always fun to be with and made me forget all my worries. She was serious with her career, but still very laid-back, and liberal.

“I only have coke at home; hope that will be cool for a mixer” She said as she re-emerged with a bottle of Magic Moments Vodka in one hand and a big plastic bottle of Coke in the other hand.

“That’s perfectly okay.” I said excited at how frosty the two bottles in her hand looked. For me, there was nothing sweeter than having an ice cold drink with someone that enjoyed it too. She dropped the bottles on a stool by the wall and pulled it in front of me before walking back into the kitchen. I heard the cabinet open, and then heard water run from a tap for a few seconds. She walked back into the living room with two glass cups.

“So…tell me about your girlfriends.” She said with a straight face as she sat next to me and handed me one cup.
I smiled before saying, “You know I don’t like commitments.”
“That’s true.” She said and looked at me for a few seconds; I could tell she went down memory lane for a quick second. “But you do have a girl in your life, right?”
“Well, I had.”
“Hmm…I want to hear about this girl.” She said as she uncapped the Vodka bottle and poured us both some liquor, about a tenth the size of the cup. As she poured the coke in the glass cup, the sound reminded me of an old 80s ad. “What’s her name?”
“Joy.”
“Hmm…I hope she has Joy in her life?” I smiled at her, and she looked at me like, well, get on with the story.
“Where do I start?”
“At the very beginning, and don’t leave anything out of the story.”
I took a deep breath before saying, “Okay.”

By the way, this the first in a series...so, there will be another part next year.

What's up guys...so, there are three chapters left, not two. I had to add a very short last chapter. The next chapter is dropping in 3,2,1...

Sorry guys, I have been away from my base for two weeks now, and haven't been able to post... But I am back now. I'm rewriting the last two chapters right now, but I am still busy with some other stuff... So I can't say when I will post. I don't want to promise and fail. But on the day I post, I will drop the two chapters back to back.

Thanks for your patience.

OlufemiWhit:
i see what you did there........hope you're good bro?

Hahaha! I'm only human. I have my flaws too. I'm good now sha. Thanks.

sulorog:
Op, u no dey keep to your word, u say two update every week but Na your own u dey do.

Hmm

Chapter 11: The Dreaded Day

I got myself real busy the following day because I didn’t want to think of what was going to happen that night. There was nothing I could do; they wanted to be with each other, I was just a medium to them meeting. I couldn’t stop that force of attraction, but it hurt my soul.

When it was finally time to leave the house, I got dressed in my best shirt; a double breast pocket army green shirt. I rolled the sleeves up two folds. I took off my regular leather watch, and put on my silver Swatch watch that I had gotten from an ex 7 years ago. She was the only girl that I felt really understood me, but she desperate to get married and I wasn’t ready, so she moved on. Even though she left me, that watch always gave me confidence, as it reminded me that a girl once liked me enough to get me an expensive watch.

I was leaving the house when I stopped at the door, and walked back in as I had forgotten to do something. I headed to my spare room, opened the black duffel bag by the door and pulled out a bottle of cologne. A girl had complimented me about the smell some time ago, and I only sprayed it on special occasions. It wasn’t like I was doing all this for Joy to want me; I just wanted to be at my best state of mind for that day. It was necessary for my sanity.

……….

I got to the bar first, because Frank forgot something in his car and had to walk back to the hotel. A minute after I got there, Joy appeared. I was sitting in the same spot we were the night before, outside, under the tree, so she saw me immediately. She was dressed in a black mono-strap gown, and leather sleepers.
“Where’s Frank?” She asked as she took the seat by the table, facing me.
“He’s on his way.”
“Okay.”
Just then, the sound of loud Afro Beats music came on and drowned out the silence. She pulled out her phone, and a few seconds later, Frank appeared. She was backing the entrance, and she turned around with a smile when I told her he had arrived. She stood up to greet him. The attraction between them was undeniable.

We called over the service girl, and made our orders.

The night was a weird one for me, because I drank so much to forget how it was going to end, and I spent most part of the night sharing stories from my past that made Joy and Frank laugh. I basically entertained them for most part of the night.

Later that night, they dropped me off at home, and went off to the hotel together. I couldn’t sleep. I kept thinking of what they were doing. It was torture, but I couldn’t stop my mind from wondering.

When it was getting too bad, I downloaded the 1981 Sam Raimi classic horror movie, The Evil Dead. Scary movies had a way of totally taking over my mind, even in sleep, and that was what I needed right now. I woke up the following morning, screaming, from a nightmare I was having. I hoped I didn’t wake any of my neighbors. A zombie looking girl had been chasing me in the dream, and I somehow outran her and appeared in an empty room with a tall wall mirror. I was looking in the room when she appeared from nowhere and was about to stab me in the back before I woke up.

Now I was awake, in cold sweats. And even though the dream was a dreadful one, I found my mind slowly wondering to something just as devastating to me. I got off my bed, walked out the room, and headed out my house. It was time to feed the chickens.
It was extraordinarily cold when I stepped out of my house and forge was in the air like it was Harmattan, but this was middle of the year. My chickens ran up to me immediately I walked out the door, and it gave me a little joy. I had been feeling worthless before then, but at least these birds valued me.

When I was done with the birds, I went in to do some cleaning. After I was done with that, I downloaded another scary movie, and occupied my time with it. My plan for the day was to watch movies half the day, and start my daily online work in the evening. I was on the second movie when Jack called me. It was 10 in the morning; I was still thinking he would be with her. He let me know he had checked out of his hotel, and dropped Joy off, but wanted to stay at my place for a few hours before traveling back to Lagos. I thought he was going to stay a whole week, but something had come up. He was going back to Lagos, and would be coming back again the following week.

In less than 10 minutes, he was calling that he was outside my house. I went out to let him in, and we sat in my room, discussing everything, but Joy. “So, how was she?” I finally asked, in a nonchalant way.
“Oh, she was cool.”
I wasn’t satisfied with the answer, and I asked a few more specific questions on what I was trying to say. He went into more details on how the night went, and I wish I never pried. Naturally, I wouldn’t have asked such questions, but I really wasn’t myself.
Curiosity kills the cat, they say, and I had just killed myself, emotionally.
We went out to eat later at a canteen close to my house before he left. I felt empty when I got back home. It was like a huge chunk of my heart had been cut out. I was surfing the internet on my laptop and when a message alert came in on my phone. It was Joy. She was bored and wanted me to keep her coming. It was unlike her to hit me up and want a prolong conversation. It was clear to me that she wanted to gauge how I was feeling after knowing that she had just slept with my friend.
I acted like I didn’t care, and was happy when the conversation ended. Even though I still felt something for her, right now, I didn’t feel like talking to her.

I was scrolling through Facebook on laptop, when I saw a picture of a girl in Ankara attire standing in front of a black gate. When I looked closer, I saw it was an old friend with benefits from about two years ago. We had cut things up when she started catching feelings and I couldn’t give her what she wanted.

I sent her a message, and she replied immediately. Apparently, she had been online. Things had ended badly between us back then, but it seemed like she was really happy to hear from me. After catching up on old times for a few minutes, I asked if she would be free in the evening so we could see. She said she is would be free from 5pm, and we agreed on a time to meet.

Right now, I needed something to take my mind off Joy, and I was really excited to catch up with Barbra.

raptex:
Great story@ Kayo80. When is a new update dropping?

Thanks...About to.

3 chapters left.

Is there any writer on here that makes an average of 30k monthly from his/her book sales?

It's crazy to know that there are so many talented fiction writers on Nairaland and in Nigeria generally, but they rarely make a decent income from their books. Very sad reality.

Is there any fiction writer here that makes an average of 150k monthly from his or her book sales? Please note, I specified, 'fiction' writer. I know non-fiction writers make a lot more than fiction writers in Nigeria, but I want to know if there are fiction writers that make a decent income from their book sales monthly.

If you are one, or you know any, please let me know.